“I get by with a little help from my friends.”
Could your friends say that about you?
We all need to support each other, especially our friends and family, and we need that support to be mutual. We must give and expect the following if we can count on them as friends:
- No fear of talking openly about emotions, moods and feelings.
- No reluctance to ask for help when needed. It can be a practical chore, advice or just someone to listen.
- No lack of empathy or trust.
Here are ten good reasons why we should be doing these things every day of our lives.Advertising
1. Because you are prepared to help when tragedy strikes.
I am going to take an extreme example for this one. In the South East Asia 2004 tsunami, thousands of Swedish tourists were involved. There were 2,000 Swedish deaths. Those who survived had to face post traumatic stress and the social support they received was an important factor in helping to reduce the negative impact of the suffering, pain, loss, and bereavement.
Friends and relatives played an important role. It is also interesting to note that the authorities were present too and met survivors at the airport and continued to support them. There was a correlation between the caring and helpful support they received and their recovery rates, it seems.
“Lean on me, when you’re not strong and I’ll be your friend, I’ll help you carry on.”
2. Because you will tell the truth, even if it is harsh.
“Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but deceitful are the kisses of an enemy.”
Can you give advice about a dangerous and rocky relationship which might lead to abuse? Very often, you have to stick your neck out and express your anxiety and worry. Your friend may not accept the advice at all, but whatever happens, you will always be there to support him or her. Telling the truth can often be hard, but it is the sign of a true friendship.
3. Because you will lighten the burden.
Talking about a problem is wonderful therapy. It can really assist you in coming to grips with it and help lighten the load. It may be a problem at work, a family quarrel or an argument with your partner. You can offer advice and support.
4. Because you are always positive.
Maybe your friend has ambitions about a new venture or wants to change his/her job. You do not say:
- “You haven’t got the experience.”
- “You wouldn’t stand a chance in hell—it’s far too competitive.”
- “It is going to cost you an arm and a leg.”
Instead, try to be positive and encouraging. You can tell him that you are aware of the problems, but shooting down an idea like that is not how real friends operate. The Bible of positive thinking and how to achieve life’s goals is The Magic of Thinking Big by David Schwartz. It’s no surprise to learn that it has sold 4 million copies.Advertising
The only way to get something you have always dreamed of is to do something you have never done. You can expect a reciprocal approach from your friend when you want to reach your goals and objectives.
5. Because you are accountable.
You know yourself well and you are not in denial about any defects you might have. You never play the blame game and try to defend a gaffe, a bad move or a screw up by blaming others or even to bad luck. You have no problem in being accountable for all your actions, including your mistakes. Your ability to show your friends compassion and empathy is living proof of all this.
6. Because you know how to nurture friendship.
“The only way to have a friend is to be one.”
—Ralph Waldo Emerson
Friendship is rather like a delicate plant. It needs watering, pruning and tender, loving care. You have to look after it. Try these to make sure it remains in great shape:Advertising
- Keep in touch.
- Remember important dates like birthdays and so on.
- Be thoughtful. Send a supportive text when your friend is down and out.
- Never exploit the friendship to gain money, prestige or other friends.
- Never give the impression that you know more or are superior.
- Never gossip about your friend to others.
- Celebrate successes and commiserate when failures happen.
7. Because you do not have exclusive rights.
Friendship is strange sometimes. Some people guard it jealously and allow no one else in. I remember twin sisters who lived together but had separate apartments. They agreed that they would invite each other when they had their friends to dinner. This happened on a regular basis, but the golden rule was that after dinner, the sister who was the guest had to leave before coffee was served. That left the other sister to chat away with her friends. When one sister broke the rule and stayed on for coffee, chatting merrily to her twin’s friends, there was a terrible row afterwards! Learning to share and not being possessive are prime qualities in a friend.
8. Because you will live longer.
All the studies now show that people who live in isolation die younger. They have more health problems and are at risk of heart disease and also mental disorders. Those people who have an active network of friends who are mutually supportive and loyal will live longer and also be healthier.
9. Because you never forget the small stuff.
You know when to be there if the going gets tough. A message, a phone call, or a visit are worth their weight in gold. That’s when you can tell whether you have a real friend. No excuses or procrastination.
10. Because you communicate with each other easily.
With real, supportive friends, you never have to worry about communication and how you are getting your ideas across, because these will come naturally. You both feel at ease about opening up and there is never any need for being assertive or aggressive. If there is ever any disagreement or argument, you are both mature enough to listen to each other’s opinion, without getting hot under the collar.
Are you helping your friends and getting enough support from them? Tell us about them in the comments below.Advertising
Featured photo credit: Amigas/Dani-vr via flickr.com
Last Updated on November 5, 2018
8 Powerful Reasons to Love Your Enemies
We’ve all got our enemies; people who take pleasure in causing us pain and misery. Sometimes, the development of an enemy is due to certain differences in your characters and events have led to that. Other times, some people end up hating you for apparently no reason at all.
Regardless of how you got this enemy, as opposed to the paradigm of fighting fire with fire, consider the following reasons and see why you should actually appreciate your enemies. This article will show you not only how to not be bothered by your enemies, but how to actually foster love for them.
Read on to learn the secret.
1. It’s a practical lesson in anger management
To be honest, your enemies are the best people to help you understand your sense of anger management. When it might be true that your enemies have a way of bringing out the worst in you as regards anger, it is also true that they can help you in your quest to have that anger managed. You can’t get truly angry at someone you love and it is only in that time when you get truly annoyed that you learn how to manage it.
Anger management is more effective when it is in practice and not in theory
Your enemies are like the therapists who you need, but actually don’t want. Inasmuch as you might want to hate them, they provide you an opportunity to control the anger impulse that you have.
2. It’s an opportunity for healthy competition
You might not know it, but your enemies make for great rivals as they help harness the competitor in you (sometimes, you might not even know or bee conversant with this competitive side until you come across an adversary). You get the right motivation to compete and this can go a long way to spur you to victory.
However, while doing so, it is also essential that you remember not to become a worse version of yourself while competing. Working against an adversary is tricky, and you need to ensure that you don’t cause harm to yourself or your morals in the process. Healthy competition is all you need to get out of this.
3. Their negative comments can help you make a breakthrough
It is true that your enemies never really have much good to say about you. However, in as much as they might be talking out of a place of hate, there might be some truth to what they’re saying.
To wit, whenever you hear something mean or nasty from an enemy, you might want to take a step back and evaluate yourself. There is a chance that what this enemy is saying is true and coming to face that fact is a major step in helping you to become a better person overall. This is another testament to the fact that enemies can be therapists in their own way.
4. Enemies can also be powerful allies
Loving your enemies can also mean making an effort to interact and make peace with them. In the end, if you are able to establish some common ground and patch things up, you’ll have succeeded in making another friend. And who doesn’t need friends?
This can also help you in working with people in the long run. You get to hone your inter-personal skills, and that can be a big plus to your ledger.
5. It gives you the ability to realize positivity
In a multitude of negativity, a speck of positivity always seems to find its way through.
Sometimes, a knowledge of the fact that you have enemies will also help you to focus on the many positives and good things that are in your life. A lot of times, we neglect what really matters in life. This can be due to being overly concerned with the enemies we have.
However, it is also possible for this acknowledgement to spur you to take a step back and appreciate the goo things (and people who surround you).
6. There might just be a misunderstanding
Sometimes, the reason why you have an enemy might be something very innocuous. You might not have known the cause of this fractured relationship and your enemy will help complete the picture.
Simply approaching them will help you to understand the reason for the fracture. This, in turn, can help you to work towards healing your relationship moving forward. Misunderstandings happen, and you need to be able to work around them.
7. You learn to appreciate love as well
A constant reminder of the fact that there are enemies will also help you not to take those who love you for granted. Love and hate are two opposing emotions and it is possible for one to momentarily overshadow the other.
However, while you’ll always have enemies, there will also always be people who love you. These people need to be appreciated for what they do for you. Never let the hate projected to you from your enemies take the place of that.
8. Do you really need the hate?
The truth is that enemies bring only toxic emotions and generate bad reactions from you. If you’re truly to live a prosperous life, you can’t really be carrying all this baggage around.
Hate is bad and you should try all you can to get rid of it. It is a well-known fact that nobody can get really far in life while carrying a lot of emotional baggage. Well, hate is the biggest form of emotional baggage there is.
Featured photo credit: rawpixel via unsplash.com