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10 Mistakes 20-Somethings Should Stop Making Now

10 Mistakes 20-Somethings Should Stop Making Now

You are young and free. It’s sometimes hard to see how the decisions you make in your 20’s affect the rest of your life. The truth is, your 20’s are the foundation for the rest of your life. Here are 10 mistakes 20-somethings should stop making now to ensure a bight future.

You should stop wasting time.

You can waste time in many ways, especially before establishing your future. With your entire future ahead of you, it often can seem like there are unlimited amounts of time. It’s not the case. Use your time to do things that matter to you. Spend time on things like traveling, networking, building relationships, and climbing the corporate ladder. If your time-wasting hobbies are keeping you from being productive, take a hard look at limiting or eliminating them.

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You should stop wasting money.

Too often, in our 20’s, we want stuff. From expensive designer clothes, to fancy electronics, and many other possessions that take up a huge chunk of our income. Stop wasting money on these things. They are going to be out of date and out of style quicker than you imagine. Take your disposable income and invest in your future to ensure you have great experiences. Remember, memories last forever, so spending money on that trip to Europe will always be more valuable than a big screen TV that will need to be replaced in three years with the newer, larger model.

You should stop relying on social media.

Social media has it’s place, no doubt. It keeps us connected and can be a great way to stay in touch. But it can’t be the only way! Make sure you are maintaining real relationships and giving your friends and family the face time they need and deserve. You can see what someone is doing on Facebook, but unless you are with them in person, you’re viewing their memories rather than making your own.

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You should stop making everything a #1 priority.

Priorities. It seems like everything is vying to be at the top. Relationships, family, career, friends, pets, houses, school… they can be overwhelming! Take time to prioritize your life. It will make things less hectic and keep you from feeling overwhelmed.

You should stop spending time in a dead-end career.

It’s easy to stay in a career that’s leading no-where. Serving, bar-tending and retail can be great careers, but you want to make sure you understand the future ramifications. When you’re in your 20’s, working crazy hours and nights and weekends may seem like a perfect scenario. But as you get older and start with a family and friends, you can miss a lot based on that choice. Make sure you think about the future before deciding on the career you will pursue.

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You should stop staying in bad relationships.

Your first love can be hard to get over. And bad relationships can linger much too long. Stop spending time with people who don’t make you a better person. When you’re in a bad relationship, it will make the rest of your life more difficult. Evaluate your relationships and don’t wait to get out of poor situations.

You should stop relying too much on others.

Whether it’s depending on your parents for bills or relying on your co-workers to pick up the slack, your 20’s are a time to become more independent. Take help when you need it, but start working towards financial independence.

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You should stop worrying about the small stuff.

Too often we spend time worrying and dealing with petty things that turn into big, huge problems. Stop worrying about the small stuff. Whether it’s a fight with your significant other, a problem with your co-worker, or a problem in some area of your life, spend the time to fix it and move on.

You should stop partying like a rock star.

Have fun! You’re young. But you’re probably not a rock star. Stop acting like one. Don’t let having fun get in the way of what you need to do on a daily basis. Find other things to keep you occupied besides bars and clubs. You’ll quickly find you can have much more fun at the museum, at a sporting event, or a small festival. There’s plenty of ways to have a great time.

You should stop risking your future.

The key to it all? Make sure your 20’s set you up for a great future. Start saving your money. Make sure you are optimizing your career path. Ensure you find a great, healthy relationship that will be strong for years to come. Set yourself up so your future is bright. If you’re doing things that risk this future, change it now. There’s a lot of years in front of you, make sure you make them great.

Featured photo credit: Josef Seibel via flickr.com

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Kyle Robbins

Founder, BrandingBeard.com

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Last Updated on May 21, 2019

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

For all our social media bravado, we live in a society where communication is seen less as an art, and more as a perfunctory exercise. We spend so much time with people, yet we struggle with how to meaningfully communicate.

If you believe you have mastered effective communication, scan the list below and see whether you can see yourself in any of the examples:

Example 1

You are uncomfortable with a person’s actions or comments, and rather than telling the individual immediately, you sidestep the issue and attempt to move on as though the offending behavior or comment never happened.

You move on with the relationship and develop a pattern of not addressing challenging situations. Before long, the person with whom you are in relationship will say or do something that pushes you over the top and predictably, you explode or withdraw completely from the relationship.

In this example, hard-to-speak truths become never- expressed truths that turn into resentment and anger.

Example 2

You communicate from the head and without emotion. While what you communicate makes perfect sense to you, it comes across as cold because it lacks emotion.

People do not understand what motivates you to say what you say, and without sharing your feelings and emotions, others experience you as rude, cold or aggressive.

You will know this is a problem if people shy away from you, ignore your contributions in meetings or tell you your words hurt. You can also know you struggle in this area if you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you have said.

Example 3

You have an issue with one person, but you communicate your problem to an entirely different person.

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The person in whom you confide lacks the authority to resolve the matter troubling you, and while you have vented and expressed frustration, the underlying challenge is unresolved.

Example 4

You grew up in a family with destructive communication habits and those habits play out in your current relationships.

Because you have never stopped to ask why you communicate the way you do and whether your communication style still works, you may lack understanding of how your words impact others and how to implement positive change.

If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, this article is for you.

Communication can build or decimate worlds and it is important we get it right. Regardless of your professional aspirations or personal goals, you can improve your communication skills if you:

  • Understand your own communication style
  • Tailor your style depending on the needs of the audience
  • Communicate with precision and care
  • Be mindful of your delivery, timing and messenger

1. Understand Your Communication Style

To communicate effectively, you must understand the communication legacy passed down from our parents, grandparents or caregivers. Each of us grew up with spoken and unspoken rules about communication.

In some families, direct communication is practiced and honored. In other families, family members are encouraged to shy away from difficult conversations. Some families appreciate open and frank dialogue and others do not. Other families practice silence about substantive matters, that is, they seldom or rarely broach difficult conversations at all.

Before you can appreciate the nuance required in communication, it helps to know the familial patterns you grew up with.

2. Learn Others Communication Styles

Communicating effectively requires you to take a step back, assess the intended recipient of your communication and think through how the individual prefers to be communicated with. Once you know this, you can tailor your message in a way that increases the likelihood of being heard. This also prevents you from assuming the way you communicate with one group is appropriate or right for all groups or people.

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If you are unsure how to determine the styles of the groups or persons with whom you are interacting, you can always ask them:

“How do you prefer to receive information?”

This approach requires listening, both to what the individuals say as well as what is unspoken. Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson noted that the best communicators are also great listeners.

To communicate effectively from relationship to relationship and situation to situation, you must understand the communication needs of others.

3. Exercise Precision and Care

A recent engagement underscored for me the importance of exercising care when communicating.

On a recent trip to Ohio, I decided to meet up with an old friend to go for a walk. As we strolled through the soccer park, my friend gently announced that he had something to talk about, he was upset with me. His introduction to the problem allowed me to mentally shift gears and prepare for the conversation.

Shortly after introducing the shift in conversation, my friend asked me why I didn’t invite him to the launch party for my business. He lives in Ohio and I live in the D.C. area.

I explained that the event snuck up on me, and I only started planning the invite list three weeks before the event. Due to the last-minute nature of the gathering, I opted to invite people in the DMV area versus my friends from outside the area – I didn’t want to be disrespectful by asking them to travel on such short notice.

I also noted that I didn’t want to be disappointed if he and others declined to come to the event. So I played it safe in terms of inviting people who were local.

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In the moment, I felt the conversation went very well. I also checked in with my friend a few days after our walk, affirmed my appreciation for his willingness to communicate his upset and our ability to work through it.

The way this conversation unfolded exemplified effective communication. My friend approached me with grace and vulnerability. He approached me with a level of curiosity that didn’t put me on my heels — I was able to really listen to what he was saying, apologize for how my decision impacted him and vow that going forward, I would always ask rather than making decisions for him and others.

Our relationship is intact, and I now have information that will help me become a better friend to him and others.

4. Be Mindful of Delivery, Timing and Messenger

Communicating effectively also requires thinking through the delivery of the message one intends to communicate as well as the appropriate time for the discussion.

In an Entrepreneur.com column, VIP Contributor Deep Patel, noted that persons interested in communicating well need to master the art of timing. Patel noted,[1]

“Great comedians, like all great communicators, are able to feel out their audience to determine when to move on to a new topic or when to reiterate an idea.”

Communicating effectively also requires thoughtfulness about the messenger. A person prone to dramatic, angry outbursts should never be called upon to deliver constructive feedback, especially to people whom they do not know. The immediate aftermath of a mass shooting is not the ideal time to talk about the importance of the Second Amendment rights.

Like everyone else, I must work to ensure my communication is layered with precision and care.

It requires precision because words must be carefully tailored to the person with whom you are speaking.

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It requires intentionality because before one communicates, one should think about the audience and what the audience needs in order to hear your message the way you intended it to be communicated.

It requires active listening which is about hearing verbal and nonverbal messages.

Even though we may be right in what we say, how we say it could derail the impact of the message and the other parties’ ability to hear the message.

Communicating with care is also about saying things that the people in our life need to hear and doing so with love.

The Bottom Line

When I left the meeting with my dear friend, I wondered if I was replicating or modeling this level of openness and transparency in the rest of my relationships.

I was intrigued and appreciative. He’d clearly thought about what he wanted to say to me, picked the appropriate time to share his feedback and then delivered it with care. He hit the ball out of the park and I’m hopeful we all do the same.

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Featured photo credit: Kenan Buhic via unsplash.com

Reference

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