“In school, you’re taught a lesson and then given a test. In life, you’re given a test that teaches you a lesson” – Tom Bodett
There are so many great lessons we all learn from life. These lessons have helped me become the person I am today. Reading about other peoples’ experiences and lessons in life can give you a better understanding of how you can choose to live your life. To really appreciate the value that these lessons can bring to your life, you need to experience life and embrace the challenges that life throws at you, make mistakes, fail, and bounce back. It is these life lessons that you learn from all of your experiences that will have the most impact.
“People never learn anything by being told, they have to find out for themselves” – Paulo Coelho
So get ready, be open and look forward to passing more life tests and learning more life lessons.
There are many things in our lives that we have to do, even though we may not want to do it. The trick to managing these aspects of our life is to have activities in our life that we actually enjoy and love doing. It is all about keeping perspective and balance in your life. Health, wealth and happiness are the key ingredients to living a life you love and when you have activities in your life that bring you all three, then you are definitely living a life you love.Advertising
“Paralysis by analysis” is defined in Wikipedia as: “the state of over-analysing (or over-thinking) a situation so that a decision or action is never taken, in effect paralysing the outcome.” The result is that because decisions are never made opportunities are lost. Don’t spend too much time analysing whether you should or shouldn’t act on an opportunity, or step out of your comfort zone to change your life. Manage your risk, listen to your intuition, find your courage and take action.
This life lesson is all about self belief and having a positive attitude in life. Self belief and a positive attitude are the key ingredients to living a successful and fulfilled life.
Have you ever felt fearful about what others think or say about you? If you seek validation from others before you make a decision or take action, then you will never truly be your own person. If people are speaking unkindly about you, ignore it because the comments they make aren’t really about you, your value or self worth. You don’t need other people to validate you, you are already valuable. When you find your courage and step out of your comfort zone to take positive action in your life, there will be people who will support you, ignore you, reject you and disagree with you – and that’s okay. Focus on those who are supporting and encouraging you to be courageous and to be different.Advertising
This lesson is all about being self aware and surrounding yourself with the right people. Those who support and encourage you, will speak their truth to you and to others with integrity and respect. If you are surrounded by people who are only massaging your ego and speaking ill of others, then that is a sure sign that they will be saying very similar things about you behind your back. Managing your ego is key to learning this lesson as it is your ego that will allow you to have these negative and untrustworthy people in your life.
Negative self talk is not going to get you anywhere. If you listen to the negativity in your head, then it will definitely creep into the language you use to communicate with others – particularly in difficult and trying situations. Your negative thoughts without a doubt will influence your relationships. A positive attitude creates positive thoughts which results in positive relationships – even in the tough times!
Become a student of life rather than a person who knows everything. Life lessons can only be learnt the hard way – there is no other way. Embrace the joy of learning new things and stepping into the unknown. There is no joy and there no lessons to be learnt when you know everything there is to know. It is a safe and incredibly boring way to live your life.Advertising
This is a tough life lesson because it is all about understanding the emotions that come with being in love. For some people it takes many times of falling in and out of love before the lesson of “staying true to you,” is learnt. This lesson is also about being self aware and keeping your relationship in perspective. There will always be signs that the person you love may not love you as much. What often happens is that our love blinds us and we choose to ignore these signs. Stay true to you and don’t hand your power over to those people who don’t care for you.
Stress kills. Deal with whatever it is in your life that is creating bad stress. Practise appreciation and gratitude on a daily basis. It is appreciation and gratitude that provides the energy source for you to live an abundant and fulfilled life. Stress will not provide you with abundance and fulfilment in your life.
Dream big, think big; be courageous and believe in you. Surround yourself with people who support, encourage and believe in you – don’t worry about those who reject you or dismiss you. Embrace failure and learn from your mistakes. Accept that the lessons in life are only going to be learnt the hard way and there is no easy way to live a full and abundant life. Become a champion of change and go make a difference in the world.Advertising
Published on October 7, 2019
4 Types of Toxic People and How to Deal with Them
Can a person really be toxic? Well, a toxic person does not refer to those who are affected by the virus or toxic. To be precise, toxic people are those who are very unsupportive, abusive and unhealthy in nature. Their behavior is filled with venom and you will not feel any sort of gentle breeze in their words.
In this article, you will learn how to spot out a toxic person, and what you can do to deal with them.
Signs of Toxic People
To make it more obvious, I have added some signs of toxic people below.
Manipulative Behavior And Fabricated Mind
Toxic people are unable to deal with the bitter truth firmly. If you are going to blurt out their fabrications with proof, they will try to change the whole matter with their manipulative behavior. They will titillate you with sensitive words or they will try to frighten you to get rid of the problems.
Inhuman And Merciless in Nature
We know that sharing our thoughts with friends will keep us in good mental state. But, if you are not getting fruitful outcomes, you have to understand that you are spending time with toxic friends.
Toxic people do not know how to put themselves in other’s shoes. They just put on a mask of simplicity. But, in reality, they don’t have feelings for you. Therefore, you should stop sharing your valuable time with them as you will get nothing except annoyance and silence.
Hypocrisy at Its Best in Their Nature
Toxic people have a great hunger for respect, adoration, and fidelity. After dignifying them with these valuable elements, you will get nothing; you will be cheated, manipulated and criticized by them. And, if you are not willing to listen to them, you will be controlled by guilt-tripping.
Emotional Outburst And Pathological Excuses
Toxic people always want to see themselves in the positive end. Therefore, to get their job done, they always have an emotional outburst and emotional excuse to make an impulsive impression upon you.
We do mistakes and it is our duty to accept those mistakes. But, toxic people have their own rules, they have a tendency to present themselves rationally even after committing a mistake. If someone tries to expose themselves with facts, they show no embarrassment and use emotional excuses as a shield.
Play with Your Emotion And Gradually Erode It
Toxic people always try to condescend you with critical jokes and when you try to elicit your thoughts, they just burst out laughing. Teasing becomes an important element in your relationship with toxic person. They even give you backhanded compliments to belittle you.
Thus, using their toxic mindset, they just gradually diminish your abilities as well as intelligence. And you will have nothing left in your hand other than putting up with these things to maintain the silence.
Well, you probably might have not seen all these signs in one person as there are different types of toxic people roaming around you.
4 Types of Toxic People
To understand it better, I’m mentioning the different types of toxic people here.
1. Conversational Narcissist
There are some toxic people who do not know how to give importance to others. They will talk about themselves but never ask you about your condition; they will only recall you when they need you or they are facing some sort of problems.
2. Emotional Vampires
These vampires do not suck your blood but dissipate your emotion. They always talk negatively about everyone and compel you to think in the same pattern that they follow. They mask themselves in such a way in front of you that you gradually start giving importance to them. But, ultimately, you will not get any positive outcome from them.
3. Monsters with Green eyes
As discussed earlier, toxic people will give you backhanded compliments. Basically, these are called monsters with green eyes. These monsters feel happy when you feel sad. Therefore, they will always try to belittle your achievements, intelligence, and strengths. Along with it, they give compliments with some negativity in it.
4. Black-Eyed Cats
These cats always do mew-mew and try to control everything around them. They love to be pampered but, they do not like if someone goes against them.
If you are in a relationship with such persons, you will be nagged until you are giving them complete satisfaction. In a nutshell, it must be said that you have to align yourself with them if you want to live with them. But, ultimately, you will lose your mental, conversational and emotional freedom.
How to Deal with Toxic People
Living with problems is more convenient than living with toxic people. But, toxic people are parasites and therefore, you will see these monsters rambling around you wherever you go.
However, if you know how to deal with them, it would be very helpful for you and your life would be much easier to live. We have added some tips to assist you, just check these out.
Get Rid of Intermittent Reinforcement
We are very optimistic in nature and over the time, this optimism has reached to such a level that we can happily put up with the ‘close losses’ instead of trying to catch the ‘near wins’.
B.F Skinner once did an experiment with three rats. He put them in different cages attached with levers. The lever delivered food when it was pressed. In the 1st cage, the lever always delivered food when the rat pressed it. In case of the 2nd cage, food was never delivered by the lever even after pressing it, therefore, the rat understood the lesson and never tried to get food. But, in the third cage, the lever delivered food randomly and as a result, the rat was completely hooked and fixated. He constantly pushed it but didn’t get the food always.
Well, this is called intermittent relationship and the same thing happens in human relationships where toxic people give you intermittent reinforcement and your heart gets pumped up with optimism. As a result, you will be hooked and your life will be fixated at some point with toxic people.
You should learn to move on without them and live your life happily because random happiness cannot bring permanent relief.
Never Make Too Many Allowances And Pardons
Well, sympathetic attitude is very good and it is also a fact that sometimes toxic people suffer from genuine depression, physical as well as mental illness. But, you have to set a boundary and you cannot allow people to get away with anything so easily.
If you make too many allowances as well as pardons, it would not be good for you in the long-term. Yes, there are some people who are facing extreme hardships and they are not even toxic in nature. But, all you can do is show some genuine compassion keeping yourself within the boundaries.
Always Try to Ignore Their Toxic Traps
Demotivational words are the primary weapon that they frequently use in their implications to detract you. Along with this, they throw words in such a way that you start feeling guilty. Well, you must understand that these are just toxic traps and you should not step on it.
Always remember that you will have full access to freedom if you stop taking things personally. They not only do this with you but also with everyone. You just have to keep in mind that these toxic words are not based on truth but on their own mental reproduction. So, you just have to ignore this and focus on your work.
Show Them Your Beautiful Smile Not the Curves on Your Forehead
Toxic people have an aptitude to attack mentally, mock disgracefully and diminish shamefully. But, you will not be affected if you don’t surrender yourself. Show them that you are not getting belittled or insulted.
We all have our problems and we also know that we are capable of solving these problems. Therefore, the matter entirely depends upon us and if we don’t allow these vampires to enter into our life or play with our emotions, they cannot suck our happiness. So, I’d suggest you show your beautiful smile when they buzz around you.
Don’t Suppress Yourself
Toxic people will intimidate, bully, pass guilt, and forcefully take money from you to get their job done. They know very well that they are doing wrong and at the same time, they are acquainted with the concept that we are incapable of doing anything against them.
Most of the time, we keep ourselves quiet until someone speaks up. And because of this suppressive mindset, we are gradually being dragged into their mind games.
Well, we have to change this concept as it infuses courage into them. We need to obstruct them with firm minds and make them realize the negative consequences of their behavior. If they are upsetting you, just tell them directly. Your direct statement might open a new gate of opportunity that will allow you to help them if they are suffering from genuine problems.
So, why are you still tolerating these toxic people? Follow the tips mentioned above and deal with them in the right way.
Featured photo credit: Devin Avery via unsplash.com
|||^||Tips for Grooming: Change Your Fixed Negative Belief|