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10 Extremely Useless Things You Need To Let Go of in Your Life

10 Extremely Useless Things You Need To Let Go of in Your Life

Sometimes in life, you feel like you don’t have the ultimate control. You feel like a puppet on a string that wants to break free, but doesn’t know how.  It’s really quite simple.

A serenity prayer sums it up pretty nicely: “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.

In order to gain control over your life you need to let go of your bad patterns, especially these ten.

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1. Toxic people

In my opinion, this is probably the most important one. Why? Because toxic people can cause all the things bellow: worries, violence, revenge, guilt, judging—and the list go on. There is a good book by Dr Lillian Glass called Toxic People. I suggest that you read it. It gives you countless example on how people can affect you, how to deal with different levels of toxicity and who the toxic people are: a friend who back-stabbed you in order to get your job, a boss that destroys your self esteem, or a mother that always puts you down.  There are 40 types of toxic people that can destroy you. Do yourself a favor: unplug.

2. Worry

Worrying is useless. Being cautious is not. There is a fine line, so make sure you do not cross it. When going on a trip, it is smart to prepare for all eventualities, but worrying will only make you miss out on things. You can’t prevent accidents from happening by worrying. Sometimes you may even cause them. So our advice is: don’t worry; be prudent.

3. Violence

Violence tears you up inside. It is a backlash of being unhappy and it is really difficult to let go of. But you must. There is no recipe on giving up violence, but by letting go of the things that make you unhappy you will also get rid of the need to cause violence. Here I’m just going to quote Dr Martin Luther King Jr: “Man must evolve for all human conflict a method which rejects revenge, aggression and retaliation. The foundation of such a method is love.

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4. Revenge

Revenge may be good, but not the “an eye for an eye” type. As Frank Sinatra said: “Success is the best revenge.” All the other actions will make you the same as your attacker.  Sure, it’s good to give people a taste of their own medicine, but by doing so, you may become like them. 

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    5. Guilt

    What is guilt? It’s an imposed feeling that comes as a consequence of your wrong actions—or the actions that you think are wrong. Think about it, and you’ll see that there are two things you can do: correct your actions, or acknowledge that you can’t and let go.

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    6. High expectations

    When I say high expectations, I don’t mean that you should drop out of school and work in a bar, I mean high expectations in general. Don’t expect a concert to be great. Just go and have fun. Don’t expect your son to be a great football player just because you were. Let him choose his own path. Have expectations, but don’t blind yourself with them.

    7. Jealousy

    Jealousy eats you up inside. It will not make you a better person, and the person you’re jealous of may not even know you exist. The best way to get rid of it is to use it like a catalyst. Rather than being jealous of people, make them a role model. Distill what it is you’re jealous of and try to achieve it.

    8. Pleasing others

    Here I’m just going to quote the wonderful Paolo Coelho and his book The Alchemist: “If someone isn’t what others want them to be, the others become angry. Everyone seems to have a clear idea of how other people should lead their lives, but none about his or her own.” Forget about pleasing others, they do not live your life, they do not know you, they won’t bat an eye if you’re unhappy. Forget about being the person they want you to be, but rather, be the best person you can be.

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    9. Judging people

    Pleasing others is tightly connected with both judging people and having false morals. We judge people because they do not fit in our vision of what they should look, speak, behave and think like. If you don’t want to be judged, you have to stop judging.

    10. False morals

    This one is my favorite. False morals are pure hypocrisy. Oscar Wilde said about false morals, “Morality is simply an attitude we adopt towards people we personally dislike.”  The purpose of morality is to teach you how to live and enjoy yourself. Complying with false morals is wrong. It will not touch you, it will not heal you—it will make you miserable. When you dig deep behind it, you will only find that they are the consequences of judging people. Unplug.

    Some people believe holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go and then do it.

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    Last Updated on October 9, 2018

    27 Ways to Instantly Feel Better When You’re Down

    27 Ways to Instantly Feel Better When You’re Down

    Who has never gone through some ups and downs in the life? But some people can feel better in a quicker way than others because they’ve found their own remedies to heal the bad feelings.

    If you haven’t found yours, these ways will help you instantly feel better and ditch that negative self talk when you’re feeling bad about yourself:

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    1. Listen to the songs you loved when you were in high school or university, this will recall you of the old good times.
    2. Write something. Write down how you feel as a way to express your thoughts if you don’t feel like talking to anyone.
    3. Draw something. Draw anything you want because no one’s going to judge your drawing skills.
    4. Read the postcards or letters your friends or family sent you before, remind yourself there are people who always remember you.
    5. Silently think of a day or moment which you truly enjoyed and try to recapture that very first feeling. Was it the day of your graduation? The moment you traveled with your loved one?
    6. Take out your photo albums and go over your childhood photos.
    7. Cry when you feel like doing so. There’s nothing wrong with crying; cry out all your fear and stress and just face the truth after crying.
    8. Sing loudly like no one can hear you. Do you know that in Japan, people always sing karaoke to relieve stress?
    9. Cook a nice meal for yourself or for your family.
    10. Read your previous diary entries and look at your great memories.
    11. Dress up nicely to feel happier.
    12. Don’t stay in your bed! Get your laptop or a book and sit in a coffee place.
    13. Take a walk outside and feel the fresh air.
    14. Sweat yourself! Go jogging or play some sports.
    15. Pick up the musical instrument you used to play a lot and start to play it.
    16. Tidy up your desk or wardrobe, you’ll feel good that you’re being productive and actually doing something.
    17. Watch some funny videos, sure you can find a lot of them on Youtube.
    18. Eat something you like, be it a chocolate cake, or an ice-cream. Just please yourself with the flavour you like.
    19. Re-read your favorite book and write down the sentences or passages that you love.
    20. Watch a new movie, there must be a movie which you’ve always interested in but had no time to watch it.
    21. Do something nice that no one will notice, say picking up a rubbish in the street and throw it to a trash bin.
    22. Call your best friend and just talk whatever you want! Human beings are social animals after all, connecting with people close to you will make you feel better.
    23. Do voluntary work and help people in need, you’ll feel happy and satisfied.
    24. Get drunk with your close friends at home – a safe place for you to get drunk and get crazy. Let loose and have fun with your very close friends.
    25. Write an email or a note to a friend who you care about.
    26. Get out of your routine life and meet new friends. Get out of your comfort zone! Meeting new people can give you new inspirations in life.
    27. Look into the mirror and smile. Act like today’s already a wonderful day. How we act affects how we feel. It’s difficult to go on feeling sad if you’re trying to smile!

    Remember:

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    It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.  — Epictetus

    If you want to feel better, change what you’re doing because obviously what you’re doing doesn’t make you happy!

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    Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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