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10 Common Behaviors Which Scare People Away

10 Common Behaviors Which Scare People Away

We have all come across people with toxic behavior patterns. We have surely even exhibited some bad behavior at some point in our lives too. But some of us have the awareness to observe our own behavior and minimize the damage we might cause to ourselves and to others. There are, however, many people who are unaware of their negative behavior and often drive people away from them. Here are 10 common behaviors which scare people away.

1. They are arrogant.

People who have such an unpleasant behavior believe that they are better than others. They enjoy putting others down in order to boost their own confidence. People often feel offended by their egocentric behavior and choose not to deal with them. Being humble is admirable. We don’t have to intentionally show our abilities, as others will be able to spot them eventually.

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2. They are bossy.

As if dealing with difficult bosses is not enough, we often have to deal with bossy people who aren’t even our bosses and who think they have the right to push people around. These people are inconsiderate of others’ feelings and needs. Instead, they only focus on their own feelings and needs. Nobody likes to be bossed around, so being considerate to others’  feelings and needs is important in order to live in peace with others.

3. They don’t listen.

We all know of someone who only focus on telling people what they want and need, and never bother to truly listen attentively to what others have to say. They often neglect what we say by assuming that they already know what we are talking about and end up making a mistake or causing a misunderstanding of the situation. Listening is crucial in order to really understand what is being delivered, in order to get the conversation going, and to get things done properly.

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4. They are jealous of others.

These folks are envious of others. They are always comparing themselves with others and are often not content with what they have. They would spend their time talking about what other people have instead of working on getting what they want. Being jealous is energy-draining. Being grateful for what we have motivates us to keep moving forward to improve our lives.

5. They like to blame others.

Complaining and ranting is one of the attributes of these people. When something bad occurs, they will blame it on anything that they can think of in order to keep them away from trouble. They are not fans of accountability, so they choose not to be responsible for the outcome of the situation they are in. Being accountable to our own agenda enables us to be in control of our situation. It might not always be pleasant, but if we choose to deal with them regardless of the outcome, we will eventually find ways to fix the situation and learn some valuable lessons from them.

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6. They always think of the negatives.

They will come out with endless negative possibilities in any situation and they don’t encourage progress. These people drag your energy down by trying to convince you that nothing good is possible and that all ideas and dreams are only delusions. Believing in something we aim to achieve in life is vital for us to live happily and with purpose. Thinking on the positive side of things enables us to grow stronger from every challenge we face in life.

7. They act impulsively.

They do what they want, when they want, even if it hinders and affects others. They only believe in instant gratification, and their actions often cause unpleasant inconveniences to others. We all have the freedom to do what we please, but we have to make sure that our actions don’t affect others unfairly. Being considerate makes everyone feel at ease when they are around us.

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8. They gossip about others.

Gossiping about others is one of their favorite pastimes. They talk about others behind their backs. People who know about their behavior are less likely to share their personal matters with them for fear of their issues becoming a topic of gossip among their friends. Instead of talking about another’s life, we can discuss events and ideas. That way, we can all gain useful information and use the knowledge productively.

9. They lack empathy and compassion.

They are not concerned with the suffering of others because they only care about their own importance. These people actually enjoy knowing that someone is having a hard time, because it makes them feel better about themselves. Having compassion for others not only helps us to understand them, but also helps us to understand ourselves. It gives us a sense of being human and helps us understand that we all need people who are compassionate around us when we are in similar position someday.

10. They lack emotional control.

These people express their emotions uncontrollably, no matter what situation they are in. They are only concerned for their own feelings and neglect others’ feelings when dealing with an issue. They don’t handle the situation rationally; instead, they react based on their emotions. Knowing how to control your emotions when dealing with people is important. It keeps you away from making bad decisions and keeps you away from trouble.

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Crystie Lim

Life Coach

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Last Updated on November 5, 2018

8 Powerful Reasons to Love Your Enemies

8 Powerful Reasons to Love Your Enemies

We’ve all got our enemies; people who take pleasure in causing us pain and misery. Sometimes, the development of an enemy is due to certain differences in your characters and events have led to that. Other times, some people end up hating you for apparently no reason at all.

Regardless of how you got this enemy, as opposed to the paradigm of fighting fire with fire, consider the following reasons and see why you should actually appreciate your enemies. This article will show you not only how to not be bothered by your enemies, but how to actually foster love for them.

Read on to learn the secret.

1. It’s a practical lesson in anger management

To be honest, your enemies are the best people to help you understand your sense of anger management. When it might be true that your enemies have a way of bringing out the worst in you as regards anger, it is also true that they can help you in your quest to have that anger managed. You can’t get truly angry at someone you love and it is only in that time when you get truly annoyed that you learn how to manage it.

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Anger management is more effective when it is in practice and not in theory

Your enemies are like the therapists who you need, but actually don’t want. Inasmuch as you might want to hate them, they provide you an opportunity to control the anger impulse that you have.

2. It’s an opportunity for healthy competition

You might not know it, but your enemies make for great rivals as they help harness the competitor in you (sometimes, you might not even know or bee conversant with this competitive side until you come across an adversary). You get the right motivation to compete and this can go a long way to spur you to victory.

However, while doing so, it is also essential that you remember not to become a worse version of yourself while competing. Working against an adversary is tricky, and you need to ensure that you don’t cause harm to yourself or your morals in the process. Healthy competition is all you need to get out of this.

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3. Their negative comments can help you make a breakthrough

It is true that your enemies never really have much good to say about you. However, in as much as they might be talking out of a place of hate, there might be some truth to what they’re saying.

To wit, whenever you hear something mean or nasty from an enemy, you might want to take a step back and evaluate yourself. There is a chance that what this enemy is saying is true and coming to face that fact is a major step in helping you to become a better person overall. This is another testament to the fact that enemies can be therapists in their own way.

4. Enemies can also be powerful allies

Loving your enemies can also mean making an effort to interact and make peace with them. In the end, if you are able to establish some common ground and patch things up, you’ll have succeeded in making another friend. And who doesn’t need friends?

This can also help you in working with people in the long run. You get to hone your inter-personal skills, and that can be a big plus to your ledger.

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5. It gives you the ability to realize positivity

In a multitude of negativity, a speck of positivity always seems to find its way through.

Sometimes, a knowledge of the fact that you have enemies will also help you to focus on the many positives and good things that are in your life. A lot of times, we neglect what really matters in life. This can be due to being overly concerned with the enemies we have.

However, it is also possible for this acknowledgement to spur you to take a step back and appreciate the goo things (and people who surround you).

6. There might just be a misunderstanding

Sometimes, the reason why you have an enemy might be something very innocuous. You might not have known the cause of this fractured relationship and your enemy will help complete the picture.

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Simply approaching them will help you to understand the reason for the fracture. This, in turn, can help you to work towards healing your relationship moving forward. Misunderstandings happen, and you need to be able to work around them.

7. You learn to appreciate love as well

A constant reminder of the fact that there are enemies will also help you not to take those who love you for granted. Love and hate are two opposing emotions and it is possible for one to momentarily overshadow the other.

However, while you’ll always have enemies, there will also always be people who love you. These people need to be appreciated for what they do for you. Never let the hate projected to you from your enemies take the place of that.

8. Do you really need the hate?

The truth is that enemies bring only toxic emotions and generate bad reactions from you. If you’re truly to live a prosperous life, you can’t really be carrying all this baggage around.

Hate is bad and you should try all you can to get rid of it. It is a well-known fact that nobody can get really far in life while carrying a lot of emotional baggage. Well, hate is the biggest form of emotional baggage there is.

Featured photo credit: rawpixel via unsplash.com

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