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Communication

10 Common Behaviors Which Scare People Away

Written by Crystie Lim
Life Coach
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We have all come across people with toxic behavior patterns. We have surely even exhibited some bad behavior at some point in our lives too. But some of us have the awareness to observe our own behavior and minimize the damage we might cause to ourselves and to others. There are, however, many people who are unaware of their negative behavior and often drive people away from them. Here are 10 common behaviors which scare people away.

1. They are arrogant.

People who have such an unpleasant behavior believe that they are better than others. They enjoy putting others down in order to boost their own confidence. People often feel offended by their egocentric behavior and choose not to deal with them. Being humble is admirable. We don’t have to intentionally show our abilities, as others will be able to spot them eventually.

2. They are bossy.

As if dealing with difficult bosses is not enough, we often have to deal with bossy people who aren’t even our bosses and who think they have the right to push people around. These people are inconsiderate of others’ feelings and needs. Instead, they only focus on their own feelings and needs. Nobody likes to be bossed around, so being considerate to others’  feelings and needs is important in order to live in peace with others.

3. They don’t listen.

We all know of someone who only focus on telling people what they want and need, and never bother to truly listen attentively to what others have to say. They often neglect what we say by assuming that they already know what we are talking about and end up making a mistake or causing a misunderstanding of the situation. Listening is crucial in order to really understand what is being delivered, in order to get the conversation going, and to get things done properly.

4. They are jealous of others.

These folks are envious of others. They are always comparing themselves with others and are often not content with what they have. They would spend their time talking about what other people have instead of working on getting what they want. Being jealous is energy-draining. Being grateful for what we have motivates us to keep moving forward to improve our lives.

5. They like to blame others.

Complaining and ranting is one of the attributes of these people. When something bad occurs, they will blame it on anything that they can think of in order to keep them away from trouble. They are not fans of accountability, so they choose not to be responsible for the outcome of the situation they are in. Being accountable to our own agenda enables us to be in control of our situation. It might not always be pleasant, but if we choose to deal with them regardless of the outcome, we will eventually find ways to fix the situation and learn some valuable lessons from them.

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6. They always think of the negatives.

They will come out with endless negative possibilities in any situation and they don’t encourage progress. These people drag your energy down by trying to convince you that nothing good is possible and that all ideas and dreams are only delusions. Believing in something we aim to achieve in life is vital for us to live happily and with purpose. Thinking on the positive side of things enables us to grow stronger from every challenge we face in life.

7. They act impulsively.

They do what they want, when they want, even if it hinders and affects others. They only believe in instant gratification, and their actions often cause unpleasant inconveniences to others. We all have the freedom to do what we please, but we have to make sure that our actions don’t affect others unfairly. Being considerate makes everyone feel at ease when they are around us.

8. They gossip about others.

Gossiping about others is one of their favorite pastimes. They talk about others behind their backs. People who know about their behavior are less likely to share their personal matters with them for fear of their issues becoming a topic of gossip among their friends. Instead of talking about another’s life, we can discuss events and ideas. That way, we can all gain useful information and use the knowledge productively.

9. They lack empathy and compassion.

They are not concerned with the suffering of others because they only care about their own importance. These people actually enjoy knowing that someone is having a hard time, because it makes them feel better about themselves. Having compassion for others not only helps us to understand them, but also helps us to understand ourselves. It gives us a sense of being human and helps us understand that we all need people who are compassionate around us when we are in similar position someday.

10. They lack emotional control.

These people express their emotions uncontrollably, no matter what situation they are in. They are only concerned for their own feelings and neglect others’ feelings when dealing with an issue. They don’t handle the situation rationally; instead, they react based on their emotions. Knowing how to control your emotions when dealing with people is important. It keeps you away from making bad decisions and keeps you away from trouble.

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