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10 Books About Love Everyone Should Read At Least Once In Their Life

10 Books About Love Everyone Should Read At Least Once In Their Life

What books trigger the lover in you? The best love stories are the classics. They offer a logical and lucid angle on the topic, offering you not just the thrill, but also a better understanding of love.

1. On Love by Stendhal

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    “Happiness never stays the same, except in its origin; every day brings forth a new blossom.”

    Stendhal uses a confessional and witty tone to detail the insightful process of falling in love. Stendhal provides the reader a mixture of anecdotes, philosophy, and social observation from his personal experience and tries to make them universally applicable.

    2. Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus by John Gray

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      Martians “go to their caves” while Venusians “go to the well.”

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      John Gray helps the reader to understand and accept the differences between a man and a woman. This book explains how such knowledge can create happier relationships.

      3. The Art of Loving by Erich Fromm

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        “Love is a decision, it is a judgment, it is a promise. If love were only a feeling, there would be no basis for the promise to love each other forever. A feeling comes and it may go. How can I judge that it will stay forever, when my act does not involve judgment and decision?”

        This book shows how love is harder to achieve in the modern world. It helps the reader to understand how love can conquer loneliness and make one a more magnanimous person.

        4. The Portrait of a Lady by Henry James

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          “Love remains. I don’t know why we should suffer so much. Perhaps I shall find out.”

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          Regarded as Henry James’ finest work, Isabel Archer’s marriage to Osmond Gilbert leads to her suffering from a cruel and oppressive husband. This book portrays to the reader what it means to be a radiantly good person who falls in love with a terrible person.

          5. Roman Elegies by Goethe

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            “I’m fairly fond of boys, but my preference is for girls; When I have enough of a girl, she serves me still as a boy.”

            This is a cycle of twenty-four poems by Goethe. Through his Italian Journey, Johann Wolfgang von Goethe celebrates the sensuality and vigor of romance and love. If you are looking for intelligent erotica, this is a book to read.

            6. Le Grand Meaulnes by Alaine- Fournier

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              “I thought too that our youth was over and we had failed to find happiness.”

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              If you are looking for a novel or a book that paints the nostalgic tale of lost adolescent love, then you should read this. A clear narrative by a fifteen year old, Francois Seurel, of his friendship with Augustine Meaulnes, who falls in love with a mysterious woman, Yvonne, only to find her years later, the book is magical and takes on a search for lost love.

              7. The Sonnets of Shakespeare

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                “For sweetest things turn sourest by their deeds; Lillies that fester smell far worse than weeds.”

                Sonnets offer the reader the most touching expressions of love. They also offer melancholic and lovely reflections by the author.

                8. First Letter to the Corinthians by St Paul

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                  If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.

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                  The book offers a vivid detail of love linking it to kindness, modesty, and forgiveness. It also provides the reader with some thoughtful and influential assertions about the nature of love.

                  9. Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy

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                    “All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.”

                    This book offers a logical and evocative picture on every stage of love. With complete naturalness, the author does well to hold the story together and offer the reader an intelligent and deep perception of love.

                    10. Essays in Love by Alain de Botton

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                      “We are all more intelligent than we are capable, and awareness of the insanity of love has never saved anyone from the disease.”

                      Although the book tries to offer a comical appeal of how serious the subject of love can be, the author offers an analysis of the various stages of a relationship, from first sight to separation.

                      Featured photo credit: http://www.morguefile.com via mrg.bz

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                      Last Updated on February 11, 2021

                      Easily Misunderstood by Others? 6 Barriers You Should Overcome to Make Communication Less Frustrating

                      Easily Misunderstood by Others? 6 Barriers You Should Overcome to Make Communication Less Frustrating

                      How often have you said something simple, only to have the person who you said this to misunderstand it or twist the meaning completely around? Nodding your head in affirmative? Then this means that you are being unclear in your communication.

                      Communication should be simple, right? It’s all about two people or more talking and explaining something to the other. The problem lies in the talking itself, somehow we end up being unclear, and our words, attitude or even the way of talking becomes a barrier in communication, most of the times unknowingly. We give you six common barriers to communication, and how to get past them; for you to actually say what you mean, and or the other person to understand it as well…

                      The 6 Walls You Need to Break Down to Make Communication Effective

                      Think about it this way, a simple phrase like “what do you mean” can be said in many different ways and each different way would end up “communicating” something else entirely. Scream it at the other person, and the perception would be anger. Whisper this is someone’s ear and others may take it as if you were plotting something. Say it in another language, and no one gets what you mean at all, if they don’t speak it… This is what we mean when we say that talking or saying something that’s clear in your head, many not mean that you have successfully communicated it across to your intended audience – thus what you say and how, where and why you said it – at times become barriers to communication.[1]

                      Perceptual Barrier

                      The moment you say something in a confrontational, sarcastic, angry or emotional tone, you have set up perceptual barriers to communication. The other person or people to whom you are trying to communicate your point get the message that you are disinterested in what you are saying and sort of turn a deaf ear. In effect, you are yelling your point across to person who might as well be deaf![2]

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                      The problem: When you have a tone that’s not particularly positive, a body language that denotes your own disinterest in the situation and let your own stereotypes and misgivings enter the conversation via the way you talk and gesture, the other person perceives what you saying an entirely different manner than say if you said the same while smiling and catching their gaze.

                      The solution: Start the conversation on a positive note, and don’t let what you think color your tone, gestures of body language. Maintain eye contact with your audience, and smile openly and wholeheartedly…

                      Attitudinal Barrier

                      Some people, if you would excuse the language, are simply badass and in general are unable to form relationships or even a common point of communication with others, due to their habit of thinking to highly or too lowly of them. They basically have an attitude problem – since they hold themselves in high esteem, they are unable to form genuine lines of communication with anyone. The same is true if they think too little of themselves as well.[3]

                      The problem: If anyone at work, or even in your family, tends to roam around with a superior air – anything they say is likely to be taken by you and the others with a pinch, or even a bag of salt. Simply because whenever they talk, the first thing to come out of it is their condescending attitude. And in case there’s someone with an inferiority complex, their incessant self-pity forms barriers to communication.

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                      The solution: Use simple words and an encouraging smile to communicate effectively – and stick to constructive criticism, and not criticism because you are a perfectionist. If you see someone doing a good job, let them know, and disregard the thought that you could have done it better. It’s their job so measure them by industry standards and not your own.

                      Language Barrier

                      This is perhaps the commonest and the most inadvertent of barriers to communication. Using big words, too much of technical jargon or even using just the wrong language at the incorrect or inopportune time can lead to a loss or misinterpretation of communication. It may have sounded right in your head and to your ears as well, but if sounded gobbledygook to the others, the purpose is lost.

                      The problem: Say you are trying to explain a process to the newbies and end up using every technical word and industry jargon that you knew – your communication has failed if the newbie understood zilch. You have to, without sounding patronizing, explain things to someone in the simplest language they understand instead of the most complex that you do.

                      The solution: Simplify things for the other person to understand you, and understand it well. Think about it this way: if you are trying to explain something scientific to a child, you tone it down to their thinking capacity, without “dumbing” anything down in the process.[4]

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                      Emotional Barrier

                      Sometimes, we hesitate in opening our mouths, for fear of putting our foot in it! Other times, our emotional state is so fragile that we keep it and our lips zipped tightly together lest we explode. This is the time that our emotions become barriers to communication.[5]

                      The problem: Say you had a fight at home and are on a slow boil, muttering, in your head, about the injustice of it all. At this time, you have to give someone a dressing down over their work performance. You are likely to transfer at least part of your angst to the conversation then, and talk about unfairness in general, leaving the other person stymied about what you actually meant!

                      The solution: Remove your emotions and feelings to a personal space, and talk to the other person as you normally would. Treat any phobias or fears that you have and nip them in the bud so that they don’t become a problem. And remember, no one is perfect.

                      Cultural Barrier

                      Sometimes, being in an ever-shrinking world means that inadvertently, rules can make cultures clash and cultural clashes can turn into barriers to communication. The idea is to make your point across without hurting anyone’s cultural or religious sentiments.

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                      The problem: There are so many ways culture clashes can happen during communication and with cultural clashes; it’s not always about ethnicity. A non-smoker may have problems with smokers taking breaks; an older boss may have issues with younger staff using the Internet too much.

                      The solution: Communicate only what is necessary to get the point across – and eave your personal sentiments or feelings out of it. Try to be accommodative of the other’s viewpoint, and in case you still need to work it out, do it one to one, to avoid making a spectacle of the other person’s beliefs.[6]

                      Gender Barrier

                      Finally, it’s about Men from Mars and Women from Venus. Sometimes, men don’t understand women and women don’t get men – and this gender gap throws barriers in communication. Women tend to take conflict to their graves, literally, while men can move on instantly. Women rely on intuition, men on logic – so inherently, gender becomes a big block in successful communication.[7]

                      The problem: A male boss may inadvertently rub his female subordinates the wrong way with anti-feminism innuendoes, or even have problems with women taking too many family leaves. Similarly, women sometimes let their emotions get the better of them, something a male audience can’t relate to.

                      The solution: Talk to people like people – don’t think or classify them into genders and then talk accordingly. Don’t make comments or innuendos that are gender biased – you don’t have to come across as an MCP or as a bra-burning feminist either. Keep gender out of it.

                      And remember, the key to successful communication is simply being open, making eye contact and smiling intermittently. The battle is usually half won when you say what you mean in simple, straightforward words and keep your emotions out of it.

                      Reference

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