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10 Books About Love Everyone Should Read At Least Once In Their Life

10 Books About Love Everyone Should Read At Least Once In Their Life

What books trigger the lover in you? The best love stories are the classics. They offer a logical and lucid angle on the topic, offering you not just the thrill, but also a better understanding of love.

1. On Love by Stendhal

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    “Happiness never stays the same, except in its origin; every day brings forth a new blossom.”

    Stendhal uses a confessional and witty tone to detail the insightful process of falling in love. Stendhal provides the reader a mixture of anecdotes, philosophy, and social observation from his personal experience and tries to make them universally applicable.

    2. Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus by John Gray

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      Martians “go to their caves” while Venusians “go to the well.”

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      John Gray helps the reader to understand and accept the differences between a man and a woman. This book explains how such knowledge can create happier relationships.

      3. The Art of Loving by Erich Fromm

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        “Love is a decision, it is a judgment, it is a promise. If love were only a feeling, there would be no basis for the promise to love each other forever. A feeling comes and it may go. How can I judge that it will stay forever, when my act does not involve judgment and decision?”

        This book shows how love is harder to achieve in the modern world. It helps the reader to understand how love can conquer loneliness and make one a more magnanimous person.

        4. The Portrait of a Lady by Henry James

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          “Love remains. I don’t know why we should suffer so much. Perhaps I shall find out.”

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          Regarded as Henry James’ finest work, Isabel Archer’s marriage to Osmond Gilbert leads to her suffering from a cruel and oppressive husband. This book portrays to the reader what it means to be a radiantly good person who falls in love with a terrible person.

          5. Roman Elegies by Goethe

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            “I’m fairly fond of boys, but my preference is for girls; When I have enough of a girl, she serves me still as a boy.”

            This is a cycle of twenty-four poems by Goethe. Through his Italian Journey, Johann Wolfgang von Goethe celebrates the sensuality and vigor of romance and love. If you are looking for intelligent erotica, this is a book to read.

            6. Le Grand Meaulnes by Alaine- Fournier

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              “I thought too that our youth was over and we had failed to find happiness.”

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              If you are looking for a novel or a book that paints the nostalgic tale of lost adolescent love, then you should read this. A clear narrative by a fifteen year old, Francois Seurel, of his friendship with Augustine Meaulnes, who falls in love with a mysterious woman, Yvonne, only to find her years later, the book is magical and takes on a search for lost love.

              7. The Sonnets of Shakespeare

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                “For sweetest things turn sourest by their deeds; Lillies that fester smell far worse than weeds.”

                Sonnets offer the reader the most touching expressions of love. They also offer melancholic and lovely reflections by the author.

                8. First Letter to the Corinthians by St Paul

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                  If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.

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                  The book offers a vivid detail of love linking it to kindness, modesty, and forgiveness. It also provides the reader with some thoughtful and influential assertions about the nature of love.

                  9. Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy

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                    “All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.”

                    This book offers a logical and evocative picture on every stage of love. With complete naturalness, the author does well to hold the story together and offer the reader an intelligent and deep perception of love.

                    10. Essays in Love by Alain de Botton

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                      “We are all more intelligent than we are capable, and awareness of the insanity of love has never saved anyone from the disease.”

                      Although the book tries to offer a comical appeal of how serious the subject of love can be, the author offers an analysis of the various stages of a relationship, from first sight to separation.

                      Featured photo credit: http://www.morguefile.com via mrg.bz

                      More by this author

                      Casey Imafidon

                      Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

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                      Published on May 4, 2021

                      How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

                      How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

                      They say we are the average of the five persons we spend the most time with. For a minute, consider the people around you. Are they truly who your “tribe” should be or who you aspire to become in the future? Are they really genuine people who want to see you succeed? Or are they fake people who don’t really want to see you happy?

                      In this article, I’ll review why it is important to surround yourself with genuine individuals—the ones who care, bring something to our table, and first and foremost, who leave all fakeness behind.

                      How to Spot Fake People?

                      When you’ve been working in the helping professions for a while, spotting fake people gets a bit easier. There are some very clear signs that the person you are looking at is hiding something, acting somehow, or simply wanting to get somewhere. Most often, there is a secondary gain—perhaps attention, sympathy, or even a promotion.

                      Whatever it is, you’re better off working their true agenda and staying the hell away. Here are some things you should look out for to help spot fake people.

                      1. Full of Themselves

                      Fake people like to show off. They love looking at themselves in the mirror. They collect photos and videos of every single achievement they had and every part of their body and claim to be the “best at what they do.”

                      Most of these people are actually not that good in real life. But they act like they are and ensure that they appear better than the next person. The issue for you is that you may find yourself always feeling “beneath” them and irritated at their constant need to be in the spotlight.

                      2. Murky in Expressing Their Emotions

                      Have you ever tried having a deep and meaningful conversation with a fake person? It’s almost impossible. It’s because they have limited emotional intelligence and don’t know how they truly feel deep down—and partly because they don’t want to have their true emotions exposed, no matter how normal these might be.

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                      It’s much harder to say “I’m the best at what I do” while simultaneously sharing “average” emotions with “equal” people.

                      3. Zero Self-Reflection

                      To grow, we must accept feedback from others. We must be open to our strengths and to our weaknesses. We must accept that we all come in different shapes and can always improve.

                      Self-reflection requires us to think, forgive, admit fault, and learn from our mistakes. But to do that, we have to be able to adopt a level of genuineness and depth that fake people don’t routinely have. A fake person generally never apologizes, but when they do, it is often followed with a “but” in the next breath.

                      4. Unrealistic Perceptions

                      Fake people most often have an unrealistic perception of the world—things that they want to portray to others (pseudo achievements, materialistic gains, or a made-up sense of happiness) or simply how they genuinely regard life outside themselves.

                      A lot of fake people hide pain, shame, and other underlying reasons in their behavior. This could explain why they can’t be authentic and/or have difficulties seeing their environment for the way it objectively is (both good and bad).

                      5. Love Attention

                      As I mentioned earlier, the biggest sign that something isn’t quite right with someone’s behavior can be established by how much they love attention. Are you being interrupted every time you speak by someone who wants to make sure that the spotlight gets reverted back to them? Is the focus always on them, no matter the topic? If yes, you’re probably dealing with a fake person.

                      6. People Pleaser

                      Appreciation feels nice but having everyone like you is even better. While it is completely unrealistic for most people to please everyone all the time, fake people seem to always say yes in pursuit of constant approval.

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                      Now, this is a problem for two reasons. Firstly, these people are simply saying yes to things for their own satisfaction. Secondly, they often end up changing their minds or retracting their offer for one reason or another (“I would have loved to, but my grandmother suddenly fell ill.”), leaving you in the lurch for the 100th time this year.

                      7. Sarcasm and Cynicism

                      Behind the chronic pasted smile, fake people are well known for brewing resentment, jealousy, or anger. This is because, behind the postcard life, they are often unhappy. Sarcasm and cynicism are well known to act as a defense mechanism, sometimes even a diversion—anything so they can remain feeling on top of the world, whether it is through boosting themselves or bringing people down.

                      8. Crappy friend

                      Fake people are bad friends. They don’t listen to you, your feelings, and whatever news you might have to share. In fact, you might find yourself migrating away from them when you have exciting or bad news to share, knowing that it will always end up one way—their way. In addition, you might find that they’re not available when you truly need them or worse, cancel plans at the last minute.

                      It’s not unusual to hear that a fake person talks constantly behind people’s backs. Let’s be honest, if they do it to others, they’re doing it to you too. If your “friend” makes you feel bad constantly, trust me, they’re not achieving their purpose, and they’re simply not a good person to have around.

                      The sooner you learn to spot these fake people, the sooner you can meet meaningful individuals again.

                      How to Cope With Fake People Moving Forward?

                      It is important to remind yourself that you deserve more than what you’re getting. You are worthy, valuable, precious, and just as important as the next person.

                      There are many ways to manage fake people. Here are some tips on how to deal with them.

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                      1. Boundaries

                      Keep your boundaries very clear. As explained in the book Unlock Your Resilience, boundaries are what keep you sane when the world tries to suffocate you. When fake people become emotional vampires, make sure to keep your distances, limit contact, and simply replace them with more valuable interactions.

                      2. Don’t Take Their Behavior Personally

                      Sadly, they most likely have behaved this way before they knew you and will continue much longer after you have moved on. It isn’t about you. It is about their inner need to meet a void that you are not responsible for. And in all honesty, unless you are a trained professional, you are unlikely to improve it anyway.

                      3. Be Upfront and Honest About How You Feel

                      If your “friend” has been hurtful or engaged in behaviors you struggle with, let them know—nicely, firmly, however you want, but let them know that they are affecting you. If it works, great. If it doesn’t, you’ll feel better and when you’re ready to move on, you’ll know you tried to reach out. Your conscience is clear.

                      4. Ask for Advice

                      If you’re unsure about what you’re seeing or feeling, ask for advice. Perhaps a relative, a good friend, or a colleague might have some input as to whether you are overreacting or seeing some genuine concerns.

                      Now, don’t confuse asking for advice with gossiping behind the fake person’s back because, in the end, you don’t want to stoop down to their level. However, a little reminder as to how to stay on your own wellness track can never hurt.

                      5. Dig Deeper

                      Now, this one, I offer with caution. If you are emotionally strong, up to it, guaranteed you won’t get sucked into it, and have the skills to manage, perhaps you could dig into the reasons a fake person is acting the way they do.

                      Have they suffered recent trauma? Have they been rejected all their lives? Is their self-esteem so low that they must resort to making themselves feel good in any way they can? Sometimes, having an understanding of a person’s behavior can help in processing it.

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                      6. Practice Self-Care!

                      Clearly, putting some distance between the fake person and yourself is probably the way to go. However, sometimes, it takes time to get there. In the meantime, make sure to practice self-care, be gentle with yourself, and compensate with lots of positives!

                      Self-care can be as simple as taking a hot shower after talking to them or declining an invitation when you’re not feeling up to the challenge.

                      Spotting fake people isn’t too hard. They generally glow with wanna-be vibes. However, most often, there are reasons as to why they are like this. Calling their behavior might be the first step. Providing them with support might be the second. But if these don’t work, it’s time to stay away and surround yourself with the positivity that you deserve.

                      Final Thoughts

                      Remember that life is a rollercoaster. It has good moments, tough moments, and moments you wouldn’t change for the world. So, look around and make sure that you take the time to choose the right people to share it all with.

                      We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with, so take a good look around and choose wisely!

                      More Tips on Dealing With Fake People

                      Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com

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