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10 Basic Rules of Happiness You Need to Follow

10 Basic Rules of Happiness You Need to Follow

Happiness they say, is a state of mind.

Great riches, the mansion, a swanky boat and a fancy car won’t necessarily make you happy, nor will a life completely without work. In fact, many of the suggested routes to happiness that we’re fed by the powers that be are leading us to early graves and fits of depression.

The basic rules of happiness are quite simple, and here are 10 easy to follow rules that you need to learn in order to be happy.

1. Turn Your Happiness Switch to ‘On’

We are all born with a happiness switch. Remember when you were younger and you’d race home from school with a heart full of joy just because school was out?

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Think back to what made you happy as a child and you’ll probably find it was the small mini-experience that made your heart race, rather than the big wondrous experiences we crave as we get older.

Find that small happiness switch within you and keep it turned ‘on’ to your own happiness level, always.

2. Understand that Happiness is a Journey not a Destination

We’ve all been given a magic book; the book of life. It has a beginning, a middle and an end.

Make sure you focus on fulfillment and enjoy the journey of your story. Live every page, and savor every word, just make sure to live each day as if it were your last.

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3. Learn How to Cope with Frustration

Remember that total control in life is not an option and we all get frustrated for different reasons about different things. A basic rule of happiness is to be able to raise your frustration tolerance and this means letting go of being in control. Too much control kills happiness and feeds frustration.

4. Live in the Moment and Embrace the Present

There’s no use in waiting for tomorrow to arrive, hoping that it will bring you more of what makes you happy. Today is all you have, right now is all you have and you need to find ways to be happy in this moment. Enjoy your family, live your dreams, let your imagination soar, whatever it takes because this is your journey.

If you’re banking on winning the lottery to make you happy, you’re probably on the wrong track for happiness.

5. Understand Your Life’s Purpose

When you’re in sync with your purpose, you are more likely to feel content and happy. If you don’t know what your values and purpose in life really are, then take a good hard look at what you stand for as well as what really makes your heart sing.

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6. Set Achievable Goals and Pursue them Within Reason

Goals are the essence of hope, and they inspire you to get out of bed in the morning. Happy people have short, mid-term and long term goals that they are striving towards, but they don’t pursue them at the risk of their well-being.

Make sure you have goals, but weave them into your life in a balanced way.

7. See the Wonder of the Simplest Things 

Take time out every day and enjoy the simple things in life. Many millionaires have found out that money isn’t everything and chasing life’s big pleasures instead of the small ones is futile in the pursuit of happiness because you are as likely missing tiny sparkling diamonds that are strewn across your life’s path.

8. Give, Give, Give

“Give and you shall receive,” but how about forgetting about the receiving bit and just give, give and give some more? Giving of yourself, your time or a percentage of your money will most likely reward you with huge chunks of happiness – it’s a universal law.

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9. Never Sacrifice Family for Achievement

Just imagine for a moment … you are living in a big house, perhaps the house of your dreams with a fancy car in the garage and money in the bank account for a five star holiday. Wow, you’ve really made it … or have you?  Great wealth nearly always means sacrifice, in the form of large chunks of your time. You might have had to relegate your loved ones to second best, perhaps you have a failed relationship in your wake, perhaps you have missed your children’s childhood years, or been too busy to celebrate birthdays and remember anniversaries. At the end of the day, it’s no good having all life’s fancy trappings if there’s nobody meaningful to share them with.

10. Don’t Let the Past Color Your Future

Your past is over. It’s happened. The water has flown under the bridge and disappeared from view leaving fresh water in its wake. You have no power to change events that have occurred already and happy people know this. Don’t waste time worrying about the past, instead  focus on what you can change or accomplish right now.

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Last Updated on February 11, 2021

Easily Misunderstood by Others? 6 Barriers You Should Overcome to Make Communication Less Frustrating

Easily Misunderstood by Others? 6 Barriers You Should Overcome to Make Communication Less Frustrating

How often have you said something simple, only to have the person who you said this to misunderstand it or twist the meaning completely around? Nodding your head in affirmative? Then this means that you are being unclear in your communication.

Communication should be simple, right? It’s all about two people or more talking and explaining something to the other. The problem lies in the talking itself, somehow we end up being unclear, and our words, attitude or even the way of talking becomes a barrier in communication, most of the times unknowingly. We give you six common barriers to communication, and how to get past them; for you to actually say what you mean, and or the other person to understand it as well…

The 6 Walls You Need to Break Down to Make Communication Effective

Think about it this way, a simple phrase like “what do you mean” can be said in many different ways and each different way would end up “communicating” something else entirely. Scream it at the other person, and the perception would be anger. Whisper this is someone’s ear and others may take it as if you were plotting something. Say it in another language, and no one gets what you mean at all, if they don’t speak it… This is what we mean when we say that talking or saying something that’s clear in your head, many not mean that you have successfully communicated it across to your intended audience – thus what you say and how, where and why you said it – at times become barriers to communication.[1]

Perceptual Barrier

The moment you say something in a confrontational, sarcastic, angry or emotional tone, you have set up perceptual barriers to communication. The other person or people to whom you are trying to communicate your point get the message that you are disinterested in what you are saying and sort of turn a deaf ear. In effect, you are yelling your point across to person who might as well be deaf![2]

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The problem: When you have a tone that’s not particularly positive, a body language that denotes your own disinterest in the situation and let your own stereotypes and misgivings enter the conversation via the way you talk and gesture, the other person perceives what you saying an entirely different manner than say if you said the same while smiling and catching their gaze.

The solution: Start the conversation on a positive note, and don’t let what you think color your tone, gestures of body language. Maintain eye contact with your audience, and smile openly and wholeheartedly…

Attitudinal Barrier

Some people, if you would excuse the language, are simply badass and in general are unable to form relationships or even a common point of communication with others, due to their habit of thinking to highly or too lowly of them. They basically have an attitude problem – since they hold themselves in high esteem, they are unable to form genuine lines of communication with anyone. The same is true if they think too little of themselves as well.[3]

The problem: If anyone at work, or even in your family, tends to roam around with a superior air – anything they say is likely to be taken by you and the others with a pinch, or even a bag of salt. Simply because whenever they talk, the first thing to come out of it is their condescending attitude. And in case there’s someone with an inferiority complex, their incessant self-pity forms barriers to communication.

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The solution: Use simple words and an encouraging smile to communicate effectively – and stick to constructive criticism, and not criticism because you are a perfectionist. If you see someone doing a good job, let them know, and disregard the thought that you could have done it better. It’s their job so measure them by industry standards and not your own.

Language Barrier

This is perhaps the commonest and the most inadvertent of barriers to communication. Using big words, too much of technical jargon or even using just the wrong language at the incorrect or inopportune time can lead to a loss or misinterpretation of communication. It may have sounded right in your head and to your ears as well, but if sounded gobbledygook to the others, the purpose is lost.

The problem: Say you are trying to explain a process to the newbies and end up using every technical word and industry jargon that you knew – your communication has failed if the newbie understood zilch. You have to, without sounding patronizing, explain things to someone in the simplest language they understand instead of the most complex that you do.

The solution: Simplify things for the other person to understand you, and understand it well. Think about it this way: if you are trying to explain something scientific to a child, you tone it down to their thinking capacity, without “dumbing” anything down in the process.[4]

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Emotional Barrier

Sometimes, we hesitate in opening our mouths, for fear of putting our foot in it! Other times, our emotional state is so fragile that we keep it and our lips zipped tightly together lest we explode. This is the time that our emotions become barriers to communication.[5]

The problem: Say you had a fight at home and are on a slow boil, muttering, in your head, about the injustice of it all. At this time, you have to give someone a dressing down over their work performance. You are likely to transfer at least part of your angst to the conversation then, and talk about unfairness in general, leaving the other person stymied about what you actually meant!

The solution: Remove your emotions and feelings to a personal space, and talk to the other person as you normally would. Treat any phobias or fears that you have and nip them in the bud so that they don’t become a problem. And remember, no one is perfect.

Cultural Barrier

Sometimes, being in an ever-shrinking world means that inadvertently, rules can make cultures clash and cultural clashes can turn into barriers to communication. The idea is to make your point across without hurting anyone’s cultural or religious sentiments.

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The problem: There are so many ways culture clashes can happen during communication and with cultural clashes; it’s not always about ethnicity. A non-smoker may have problems with smokers taking breaks; an older boss may have issues with younger staff using the Internet too much.

The solution: Communicate only what is necessary to get the point across – and eave your personal sentiments or feelings out of it. Try to be accommodative of the other’s viewpoint, and in case you still need to work it out, do it one to one, to avoid making a spectacle of the other person’s beliefs.[6]

Gender Barrier

Finally, it’s about Men from Mars and Women from Venus. Sometimes, men don’t understand women and women don’t get men – and this gender gap throws barriers in communication. Women tend to take conflict to their graves, literally, while men can move on instantly. Women rely on intuition, men on logic – so inherently, gender becomes a big block in successful communication.[7]

The problem: A male boss may inadvertently rub his female subordinates the wrong way with anti-feminism innuendoes, or even have problems with women taking too many family leaves. Similarly, women sometimes let their emotions get the better of them, something a male audience can’t relate to.

The solution: Talk to people like people – don’t think or classify them into genders and then talk accordingly. Don’t make comments or innuendos that are gender biased – you don’t have to come across as an MCP or as a bra-burning feminist either. Keep gender out of it.

And remember, the key to successful communication is simply being open, making eye contact and smiling intermittently. The battle is usually half won when you say what you mean in simple, straightforward words and keep your emotions out of it.

Reference

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