Advertising
Advertising

Published on November 20, 2020

How To Be Happy Single And Live Your Best Life

How To Be Happy Single And Live Your Best Life

Are you struggling to be happy single?

Being single is seen by some as a state of loneliness. Because of how lonely it can be, many people stay stuck in loveless and unhappy relationships, they do not want to feel that emptiness that comes with being single.

First of all, that’s a lie that should not be held onto. Admittedly, getting out of a relationship can be hard. It is like falling off a boat you have been on for so long, right into the cold waters, trying to learn how to swim and navigate through the waters again. Of course, all of this would not matter if you can breathe underwater.

You Can Be Happy Single, and Live Your Best Life

You do not need to feel like you are drowning, or like the entire world is resting completely on your shoulders. Being single is not a bad thing. You have to start seeing singlehood as something other than the absence of a partner and start seeing it as a phase of personal rediscovery and self-love.

Yes, having a partner makes life beautiful, but being single does not make life any less beautiful, if anything it brings a sense of peace that you may not get from being in a relationship. At some point in your life, it is easy to be stuck wondering how to be happy single and live your best life. However, the first thing you need to understand is that you are completely in charge of your own happiness.

Putting the responsibility of your happiness on someone other than yourself is both selfish and a tad disturbing. Selfish because that is way too much burden to place on someone. When someone comes into your life, it should be that they are adding to pre-existing happiness, not bringing happiness to an unhappy life.

When you place that burden on someone, you are inadvertently making it difficult for them to do things that make them happy, which may make you unhappy. This means that if at some point in their life, they decide that the relationship is no longer working, and they want to move on, they can’t. They have to worry about you relapsing into a large hole of sadness. That is a very selfish thing to do.

It is disturbing because you are a living breathing human who should be able to be in charge of your life. Releasing the reins of your life, something as important as your happiness to someone else for whatever reason is not a good move. You should be able to handle things as important as your emotions without completely giving up that aspect of your life to someone else. Babies do not even depend on their parents for happiness, and they are unconscious of things.

Advertising

They find happiness in silly things like sprouting grass, a dot on a carpet, an animal painted on a wall, and the funny movement in the ‘Baby shark’ video. Now, as an adult where you are completely in charge of your life and decisions, consciously making decisions, it is disturbing that you will give up control of your happiness.

The Perks of Being Single

It is said that when you have been single for a long time, getting into a relationship is hard, because you have become so comfortable with being alone, and bringing someone into the mix suddenly sounds like a lot. As you read further, you will see how to be happy single; however, believe it or not, there are a lot of benefits of being single. So, before we go into how you can be happy single, here are some of the surprisingly amazing benefits of being single.

Your Support System Grows

As a single person, even though you do not mean for it to happen, you find yourself completely dependent on your partner. When something bad happens at work, they are the first one you tell. When something good happens they are the first you tell, too. You rely on them for support advice and help. They are always there, yes. However, what this does is that, when they leave your life, you are saddled with the shocking thought that you are all alone.

This is usually why individuality is preached to people in relationships. You should always be able to have people with whom you can lean on and share things. When you are single, you have a network of support systems, instead of being tied down to one person.

This also allows for diverse views when you need advice. More importantly, when you win, the applause of 10 people is louder than the applause of one. More so, statistics have shown that single people, while they have a group of close friends they can always reach up to, it is also easier for them to get help from friends, than it is for those in relationships.[1]

Your Time Is Yours and Yours Alone

When you are single, you do not make plans for anyone but you. Your time is your own. You could decide to go out, and then change your mind almost immediately, and no one will be mad at you for it.

There is also no one crashing into an already arranged schedule and making you change your entire plans. You also do not have to make time for anything that is not exactly beneficial to you. You don’t have to share your time with someone and explain why you need some time off. Not being in a relationship means you can just take your time off without explanations.

You Spend Money on Yourself Alone

Being single means that you have less financial responsibilities. Forget what Jennifer Lopez said; love does cost a thing. It costs a lot of money. It costs money for dates. It costs money on gifts for Christmas, birthdays and anniversaries.

Advertising

Love requires money. When you are single, you do not have those financial responsibilities, which means your credit card is yours to max out alone. Or not.

There Is Less Anxiety

See, when a random friend texts you and says “Hey, we need to talk.” You think of the last time you both talked, shrug, and decide that it is mostly not important anyway. Chances are you might even forget you got that message as time goes on.

However, when you are in a relationship and your partner texts you with that, best believe you will spend the entire day with an abnormal heart rate, trips to the toilet, and sweaty palms.

Because even though the both of you were really good before you left the house for work, that message sends a lot of thoughts spiraling out of control in your mind, and they will continue flying until you have the conversation.

These benefits seem small and rather inconsequential, but do you really not want to live your life with fewer anxieties, financial constraints, more time and a larger support system? Now, let us love the right to the important part, how to be happy single and live your best life.

Do All the Fun Things Alone

It is funny when people walk up to people who are at the bar alone and ask them “waiting for someone?” Who gave the rules that people could not go to bars alone? You can go to bars alone; you can go to movies alone, you can go to a restaurant alone.

Fun things are better enjoyed alone; maybe you will need to drink a little more responsibly so you can drive home, but yeah.

When you do all these things alone, you learn how to appreciate the little things of life that come from enjoying alone. On a lighter note, if you are a crier, you need not be ashamed when you want to cry out your eyes when watching a cheesy movie. When you can go from movies to clubs to parks alone, you will realize how exhilarating it is.

Advertising

Go on a Vacation Alone

Still, on doing things alone, that place you have always wanted to visit, take your passport, save up for it and take that trip alone. Meet beautiful people, take pictures, kiss a random stranger, laugh loudly, eat strange foods, be happy, dance with locals, simply do all the wonderful things that you can do while traveling alone.

Make Friends

You are not an island, you need a support system, create one. Meet new friends of both genders, take pictures, have sleepovers, get drunk too. This is an important way to make sure that you can always get the help you need.

When you are in a relationship, it might be difficult to foster a relationship with other people, because you may not have time for them, as it can be exhausting to split your attention like that.

But when you are single, you do not need to split your attention, you just need to focus it on people who are there for you. Also, be there for them too, be the person they can lean on, you may not believe this, but a certain sense of fulfillment and happiness comes from being the one who makes others feel better.

Give Yourself a Break

It is easy to beat yourself up over small failures and mistakes, there is also the part where you begin to think that your inability to keep relationships is why you are single. It is not true. Be easy on yourself, forgive yourself, be happy with the strides that you have taken, look at the good stud you have done alone, and be proud of yourself. When you are too hard on yourself, depriving yourself of self-love, care, and forgiveness, you find yourself being continually happy.

You will notice that you are seeking validation from another person to show you the good in you. You need to understand that when you do not see and appreciate the good in you, no one else will.

If by some stroke of luck, someone decides to remind you of your awesomeness, you will be dependent on that person for approval, and when you do not get it, you will sink right back into unhappiness. How to be happy single is by telling yourself that you are an awesome single.

Get Involved in Activities

Do not spend time brooding over what has been lost, that is pathetic. Get involved with activities and immerse yourself in them. Enjoy getting involved in these beautiful moments, bask in them, relish the experience. Chase your goals, do all the things that you never used to have time for. Take that online course that you never seemed to find time for before now.

Advertising

Bask in the opportunity to be a better person. Join the team in your neighborhood to volunteer at the dog shelter. Visit kids at the hospital and hand out balloons and stuffed animals. Doing this will increase your chance of finding that inner happiness. When night comes and you want to reminisce, it would not be of your failed relationships, it will be of the fulfilled life you are currently living.

Do Something Unusual

What is that thing you say you will never be caught dead doing? Do it.

If you are often the prim and proper type, do something crazy and adventurous. If you are often the crazy type, it might be time to wear a formal outfit and attend an event where you have to consciously try to not unleash your crazy.

Does that sound hard? That is exactly why you should do it. stretch yourself and unleash that person that your friends and family can swear never existed. The silliness of it will make you laugh, cringe, laugh again and marvel at the things you can do when you feel unhinged.

Final Thoughts

Life is beautiful, and while it is enjoyed while coupled off, it can also be enjoyed to the fullness while alone.

You do not have to be unhappy because you are alone; there are so many things to find happiness in.

How to be happy single and live your best life? Live like the world ends today and there will be no tomorrow.

More on Self Love

Featured photo credit: Şahin Sezer Dinçer via unsplash.com

Reference

More by this author

Jacqueline T. Hill

Writing, Blogging, and Educating To Guide Others Into Happiness

How To Be Happy Single And Live Your Best Life How to Express Your Feelings in a Healthy Way Why Chasing Happiness Only Leaves You Feeling Unhappier How To Make Yourself Happy Today And Every Day How to Stop Feeling Sorry for Yourself And Get Back Up

Trending in Relationships

1 How to Be a Good Listener (And a Better Communicator) 2 How To Be Happy Single And Live Your Best Life 3 20 Reasons Why Relationships Fail (And How to Avoid It) 4 Had a Bad Day? 7 Ways to Rebound From It and Feel Good Again 5 10 Essential Books on Relationships To Help You Understand Love

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on November 19, 2020

The Gentle Art of Saying No for a Less Stressful Life

The Gentle Art of Saying No for a Less Stressful Life

It’s a simple fact that you can never be productive if you take on too many commitments—you simply spread yourself too thin and will not be able to get anything done, at least not well or on time. That’s why the art of saying no can be a game changer for productivity.

Requests for your time are coming in all the time—from family members, friends, children, coworkers, etc. To stay productive, minimize stress, and avoid wasting time, you have to learn the gentle art of saying no—an art that many people have problems with.

What’s so hard about saying no? Well, to start with, it can hurt, anger, or disappoint the person you’re saying “no” to, and that’s not usually a fun task. Second, if you hope to work with that person in the future, you’ll want to continue to have a good relationship with that person, and saying “no” in the wrong way can jeopardize that.

However, it doesn’t have to be difficult or hard on your relationship. Here’s how to stop people pleasing and master the gentle art of saying no.

1. Value Your Time

Know your commitments and how valuable your precious time is. Then, when someone asks you to dedicate some of your time to a new commitment, you’ll know that you simply cannot do it.

Be honest when you tell them that: “I just can’t right now. My plate is overloaded as it is.” They’ll sympathize as they likely have a lot going on as well, and they’ll respect your openness, honesty, and attention to self-care.

2. Know Your Priorities

Even if you do have some extra time (which, for many of us, is rare), is this new commitment really the way you want to spend that time?

Advertising

For example, if my wife asks me to pick up the kids from school a couple of extra days a week, I’ll likely try to make time for it as my family is my highest priority. However, if a coworker asks for help on some extra projects, I know that will mean less time with my wife and kids, so I will be more likely to say no. 

However, for others, work is their priority, and helping on extra projects could mean the chance for a promotion or raise. It’s all about knowing your long-term goals and what you’ll need to say yes and no to in order to get there. 

You can learn more about how to set your priorities here.

3. Practice Saying No

Practice makes perfect. Saying “no” as often as you can is a great way to get better at it and more comfortable with saying the word[1].

Sometimes, repeating the word is the only way to get a message through to extremely persistent people. When they keep insisting, just keep saying no. Eventually, they’ll get the message.

4. Don’t Apologize

A common way to start out is “I’m sorry, but…” as people think that it sounds more polite. While politeness is important when you learn to say no, apologizing just makes it sound weaker. You need to be firm and unapologetic about guarding your time.

When you say no, realize that you have nothing to feel bad about. You have every right to ensure you have time for the things that are important to you. 

Advertising

5. Stop Being Nice

Again, it’s important to be polite, but being nice by saying yes all the time only hurts you. When you make it easy for people to grab your time (or money), they will continue to do it. However, if you erect a wall or set boundaries, they will look for easier targets.

Show them that your time is well guarded by being firm and turning down as many requests (that are not on your top priority list) as possible.

6. Say No to Your Boss

Sometimes we feel that we have to say yes to our boss—they’re our boss, right? And if we start saying no, then we look like we can’t handle the work—at least, that’s the common reasoning[2].

In fact, it’s the opposite—explain to your boss that by taking on too many commitments, you are weakening your productivity and jeopardizing your existing commitments. If your boss insists that you take on the project, go over your project or task list and ask him/her to re-prioritize, explaining that there’s only so much you can take on at one time.

7. Pre-Empting

It’s often much easier to pre-empt requests than to say “no” to them after the request has been made. If you know that requests are likely to be made, perhaps in a meeting, just say to everyone as soon as you come into the meeting,

“Look, everyone, just to let you know, my week is booked full with some urgent projects, and I won’t be able to take on any new requests.”

This, of course, takes a great deal of awareness that you’ll likely only have after having worked in one place or been friends with someone for a while. However, once you get the hang of it, it can be incredibly useful.

Advertising

8. Get Back to You

Instead of providing an answer then and there, it’s often better to tell the person you’ll give their request some thought and get back to them. This will allow you to give it some consideration, and check your commitments and priorities. Then, if you can’t take on the request, try saying no this way:

“After giving this some thought, and checking my commitments, I won’t be able to accommodate the request at this time.”

At least you gave it some consideration.

9. Maybe Later

If this is an option that you’d like to keep open, instead of just shutting the door on the person, it’s often better to just say,

“This sounds like an interesting opportunity, but I just don’t have the time at the moment. Perhaps you could check back with me in [give a time frame].”

Next time, when they check back with you, you might have some free time on your hands. If you need to continue saying no, here are some other ways to do so[3]:

Advertising

Saying no the healthy way

    10. It’s Not You, It’s Me

    This classic dating rejection can work in other situations. Don’t be insincere about it, though. Often, the person or project is a good one, but it’s just not right for you, at least not at this time.

    Simply say so—you can compliment the idea, the project, the person, the organization—but say that it’s not the right fit, or it’s not what you’re looking for at this time. Only say this if it’s true, as people can sense insincerity.

    The Bottom Line

    Saying no isn’t an easy thing to do, but once you master it, you’ll find that you’re less stressed and more focused on the things that really matter to you. There’s no need to feel guilty about organizing your personal life and mental health in a way that feels good to you.

    Remember that when you learn to say no, isn’t about being mean. It’s about taking care of your time, energy, and sanity. Once you learn how to say no in a good way, people will respect your willingness to practice self-care and prioritization. 

    More Tips for a Less Stressful Life

    Featured photo credit: Kyle Glenn via unsplash.com

    Reference

    Read Next