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Last Updated on November 26, 2020

How the 5 Pillars of Life Help You Achieve Balance in Life

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How the 5 Pillars of Life Help You Achieve Balance in Life

Have you recently had the chance to pause, take a look at where you are in life, and consider your current aspirations or values? Everyone has different priorities and milestones they want to accomplish. We call these goals our pillars of life.

When imagining a pillar, you might picture structures that hold up a house or make up a grand entryway for a building. The pillars of life can be thought of similarly. They are foundations that exist to guide us and give us stability. If you feel uncertain about the future, consider striving to build 5 pillars of life: career, money, love, purpose, and enthusiasm.

Through these tangible coaching tips, you will be able to strengthen your pillars and achieve more balance in life.

1. Define Your Career Goals

Maybe you take pride in having worked for the same company for twenty years, or perhaps you finally followed your heart and started your own nonprofit. Having a career does simply mean committing yourself to a nine to five job. It could be contributing to any organization, as an employee, volunteer, or owner. It is all about taking our desire to learn and making an impact. We do this by giving energy to the business side of ourselves, utilizing our troubleshooting skills, and defining our work ethic.

Everyone has slivers of a career in their daily lives. Stay-at-home parents are in charge of the bills for the house, a college student might volunteer on the weekends, and a restaurant employee could be working to become a manager one day.

If this pillar is not as strong as you desire or you are looking to switch gears in life, consider going back to school. It is never too late to earn new credentials or certifications, even online. If you feel like you have lost your compass when it comes to your career, take a survey or personality test that will help determine what profession best suits you.

For example, donating time or resources to a cause you care about may lead to discovering a gift for fundraising or communicating with people. From there, the opportunity for a career change might grow. If you are currently an administrative assistant but aspire to move into management, try shadowing your boss to learn how they became a leader.

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Once you define your career goals, you will feel more clarity and balance in pursuing your aspirations.

2. Allow Money to Work for You

Becoming a millionaire does not have to be a goal, but money is an important pillar in life. It pays for the essentials and allows us to achieve milestones, such as buying our first home, saving for retirement, or taking a dream trip.

Money also helps us provide for our kids, pets, and ourselves in whatever way we desire. Consider what your financial needs are for you to feel comfortable in life. How much money you need or what you do with it is up for interpretation. You might want to live a frugal lifestyle and only spend on necessities, or maybe you spend money the minute you get it. Either way, there is value in respecting money because you will find good things come your way when you are deliberate with your funds.

If you stash away five dollars into a piggy bank every month, one day you will be thankful when your savings amounts to hundreds or thousands of dollars. You could also look into the retirement plans available at your place of employment. See if they have incentives that make you want to save more, which will give you peace of mind for the future.

Some people work an extra job on the weekends because they enjoy having added spending money for fancy dinners or they are saving up to start their own business. If you are a parent, consider teaching your kids the significance of money, which encourages them to work harder to earn things they desire. Money not only allows us to achieve our goals, but it also motivates us to be proactive.

When you define what your money pillar looks like, you have an anchor to hold on to that keeps your financial life balanced. You will discover that when you value money, it will grow and work for you.

3. Discover Variations of Love

We all have that desire to nurture and bond with someone or something. Loving and being loved by family, a significant other, a friend, or a four-legged buddy is a warm feeling that we all appreciate.

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Love comes in many forms, and you can decide what kind you want to work on or pursue. The type of love you desire might be unconditional, passionate, camaraderie, or nurturing.

When you think of the unconditional love in your life, ponder what characteristics make up these relationships. If you have ever gotten into a heated argument with a family member one night then greeted them in the morning as if nothing happened, you are familiar with unconditional devotion. It involves being forgiving, taking the high road, and realizing that you would rather see the other person happy than be right.

Passionate love could be allowing yourself to cultivate activities you are zealous about. Perhaps you have a passion for cooking, and making dinner for friends and family is your way of expressing this kind of love.

Camaraderie involves an exchange that is enriching and builds each other up. Simply asking a friend how they are doing can build companionship.

Finally, there is nurturing, which is focused on growing and caring. To nurture and be nurtured improves our lives and makes the journey richer. You can nurture a child, pet, friendship, or an organization that is meaningful to you.

The qualities you value in relationships and the type of affection you want to give and receive is completely up to you. Relationship goals can be achieved in many ways, like signing up for a dating app. While you may be skeptical, being vulnerable and putting yourself out there may lead to finding the love of your life. You might reach out to old friends and discover the chapter you thought was over is actually wide open again.

Setting up a weekly lunch date with your mom is another important way to show love. Our parents are not here forever, and taking the time to get to know details about their life is priceless. Even spending more time with your pet can fill you with warmth. Pets look at us like we are celebrities, and all they want is a tummy scratch, treat, and to play, so show them as much affection as possible.

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When you invest time in people and love, you will feel more confident and connected in life.

4. Tap Into Your Purpose by Leaving Your Mark

Another key to achieving balance in life is having a purpose or a sense of intention. Having a sense of purpose is key to establishing sturdy pillars of life. This does not just mean attaining a specific career or financial goal—it can be having an idea of the type of mark you want to leave on the world.

This aspect of purpose comes in micro and macro levels. On a small scale, you might find that your purpose is to treat people with kindness or be a team player. On a larger level, your purpose could be living out your ideal vocation, whether it means being a teacher, parent, writer, or entrepreneur. You may vow to do one selfless act every day or strive to be the first person in the family to own their own business.

Considering how you want your friends and family to remember you is a vital aspect of what purpose means. Maybe you want to be known as someone who always has a smile on their face or as the go-to person people count on. If so, this means your life purpose is bringing cheer to people and being a giving friend.

The beauty of having a purpose is that it can shift. The goal you are focusing on now might be completely different from your goal in five years. Perhaps your current purpose is getting your dream job and buying your parents a new home. Later in life, your purpose might be volunteering once retired.

No matter what, when you have the motivation to get out of bed every day, it is easier to feel stable and maintain a clear direction in life.

5. Find Your Enthusiasm

Life can become mundane if we do not have activities or hobbies that spark enthusiasm within us. Try picturing a vintage car versus a new, shiny one. Some people love the charm and history of the old one, while others appreciate the high-tech aspects of the new one.

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Both of these people have an enthusiasm for life, just different perspectives. So, now is the time to figure out what excites your spirit. Enthusiasm is an important pillar of life.

Are you someone who cherishes memories and creates detailed scrapbooks for your family? Or are you a cheerleader for people and work to help others achieve their dreams? By journaling and discovering what others admire about you, you begin to see what is possible and define the direction and story of your life.

While not everything we experience is exciting, it is invigorating to feel a sense of personal growth. Even arriving at a place where you no longer feel it necessary to live up to someone else’s standards is a big leap.

As you mature, you experience the wear and tear of life, but throughout it all, you can focus your enthusiasm on different activities and hobbies. When you are going through a difficult time or feeling uneasy, putting energy into spirituality or passions will make you feel more calm and centered.

Final Thoughts

The pillars of life allow us to achieve balance by giving us anchors to grasp when the waves of life rock the boat. These pillars can be continually developed and strengthened. A table won’t function properly when one leg is three feet tall while the others are six. The goal is to create sturdy pillars and a solid foundation.

Also, pillars evolve as our circumstances do. You can value the vibrancy of new pillars while respecting the older ones. Keep in mind that you are on a unique journey, so your pillars might look different than your best friend’s.

Remember that we are all supporting each other. As you strive to construct your pillars, learn from people who have built theirs. It may take a lifetime to perfect your pillars, but the act of creating a path you desire will give you newfound clarity and confidence.

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More Tips to Improve Your Pillars of Life

Featured photo credit: Patrick Schneider via unsplash.com

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Nancy Solari

Nancy Solari is an accomplished CEO, life coach, and motivational speaker.

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Last Updated on October 18, 2021

9 Practical Ways to Achieve Work Life Balance in a Busy World

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9 Practical Ways to Achieve Work Life Balance in a Busy World

When I worked in college housing, I found myself in a position that made me so uncomfortable, I had some big choices to make. I could continue to do things the way my supervisor wanted me to, or I could look for another job. In favor of more balance, I chose the latter.

This was a big choice for me. I was basically giving up a (rather) stable job that made me unhappy for the unknown.

And you know what? Focusing on balance was the right thing to do.

It was also the impetus that led me to FINALLY finish my book, Making ‘Work’ Work for You. I absolutely needed to take my work/life balance into consideration and make some drastic changes. I’ve done that. And I’ve found that this message is resonating out there in the world of higher education and many other fields.

I wanted to share some of the tips and hacks that I’ve developed and learned over the years. These are strategies I’ve used to make the work day more palatable and improve my attitude about balance.

1. Be Intentional on How You Schedule Your Time

You may have one of those jobs in which one could easily be in meetings for a full day, leaving very little time to actually get your work done. Staff meetings, senior management meetings, committee meetings, supervisory meetings (also called One-on-One’s), disciplinary meetings…this list goes on and on. Where’s the balance?

During my years as a Manager and Senior Manager, I was in meetings all the time and felt entirely too much pressure to stay late, work on the weekends, or god forbid you try to multi-task in those meetings! I’m blessed in my current position that I don’t have that problem – but I think a person can be much more intentional about time is scheduled during the work day.

In the first place, you know the saying, “if you don’t control your calendar, it will control you.” So control it (I have a great planner for that!). You need work time? Schedule it. Call it just that: WORK TIME.

I currently hold blocks of time as work-time and in the “location” section of Outlook, I write down what I want to get done during that section of time:

  • work on the science grant
  • clean up email box
  • web site changes
  • clean desk

And I try to do this at least one full week in advance so that I don’t get overwrought with meetings before I save time for me.

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However, don’t fill your entire calendar lest you get in trouble for not being available. I look at my recurring meetings first – which days are my busiest meeting days and which days are very open. I usually schedule a 2 to 3 hour block at a time, at least 2 to 3 times each week. My current supervisor actually really likes this strategy and has begun to try it for herself.

If you are working for a company who schedules a great many meetings, you may need to speak with your supervisor regarding your need to schedule more work time; especially if those recurring meetings are frequent.

Give yourself a month to get used to the meeting schedule, and then you can approach your supervisor about options you have to delegate or remove some of those meetings from your calendar.

2. Deal with Additional Priorities and Opportunities

Working in higher education, I haven’t always had the luxury of getting to decide for myself what’s important. But in considering how you are spending your time, think about the extra things you take on in addition to your regular work.

I’m going to be the first person who tells you that getting involved outside of your job is super important – for the professional development, making friends, networking, etc. But you may have to limit that involvement or consider that it’s part of your free time instead of your work time. And make choices that sustain this.

I was very active in my professional association once I moved to California, and I carried that with me a great deal. I chose to have much of my social life connected through that organization…and I chose to be involved rather than going to a movie or doing other social things on the weekends. When I became a runner, I had to further alter some of these choices of how to spend my time outside of work – I saw fewer movies and was less involved in my professional association. And then, during times when my volunteer work was really busy, I just was not training for races.

But sometimes you really do need to make a choice between the extra work/responsibility and your home life. Saying “no” means that you can say “yes” more often.

“Instead of saying, ‘I don’t have time,’ try saying ‘it’s not a priority’ and see how that feels.” –Courtney Carver

Figure out what projects mean the most to you. Which extra responsibility will you enjoy the most? Which project will aid in the advancement of your career, or help you to work with someone new and influential? Really consider this before taking on a new project or committee. It’s better to do a couple things really well than have mediocre performance in a ton of things.

Of course…there’s always the “other duties as assigned” clause in many of our job descriptions. You know what I’m talking about, they’re usually at the very bottom of the page, that “catch all” which seemingly gives your supervisor or other managers the option to throw extra projects at you. This can be tricky to navigate, especially during times when you are short staffed and surviving budget cuts. Be honest with your supervisor if you feel overwhelmed. Remember that you must communicate with peers and committee members who are sharing the workload with you.

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It should also go without saying that you ask permission to take on professional association committee work before you volunteer. It’s a common courtesy. It gives your supervisor the chance to assist you with skill sets and/or connections that could assist in your new project or committee work. If they’ve been in your field for some time, they could even have great suggestions and recommendations for you.

3. Find Portals for Flexibility

If you have the luxury of a flexible work day, then you can make room for longer breaks. You can be creative with your lunch hour or come in later/leave earlier when you need to.

Do you have the ability to work from home now and then? Will your supervisor allow that? Are you lucky enough to have one of those gigs? Make sure you keep it in perspective and get your things done. Don’t take advantage or take for granted, because you might lose it!

The flip side of this is having no flexibility – zero, zilch, none. Your work day is rigid and you have meetings, meetings, meetings. That’s tough. You may need to build in buffers between your meetings. Don’t schedule back to back meetings. Start a meeting at 9am, and if it’s over at 10:30, don’t schedule another meeting until 11am.

Don’t go back to the office and work before the next meeting. Take a walk, get a cup of coffee, and breathe. Control your calendar, or it will control you.

4. Put Your Work Day into Perspective

You know what? It’s just work. It’s meaningful for you – you put your heart and soul into it. But it’s just work. If you can’t draw the line between where your job ends and you begin….that might be a problem.

The big thing for me was being able to realize that I was no longer going home angry. That was a beautiful thing. I took my work home – in an emotional manner – for such a long time. I would be so frustrated with the tough day and/or negative students and/or a rotten staff meeting…I’d internalized so much of it and it made me angry.

So I needed to draw that line and say, “I’m going home and I’m going to be me.” That’s it.

5. Find a Buffer

You may need a buffer from your work day into your home life. If you are a live-in professional, this can be difficult. I’m lucky to have figured this out for me in my current vocation.

For two years, I was a walking commuter and listened to podcasts on my walk to and from work. Currently, I commute by car but the travel time is about the same. I still listen to podcasts but have been on a mad audiobook phase for the past three months. Jen Sincero just rocks. This usually clears my mind from any daily funk and puts me in a lighter mood when I get home.

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Some of you may have very long commutes and so, time in traffic further complicates your transition time. Loud music may turn into road rage, so I recommend podcasts (again – I’m a big fan), audiobooks, comfortable/slow music. Even something that you are familiar with and can sing along. But any drive home can feature these things, and you really only need a few minutes to make it happen.

During that transition time (otherwise known as your commute home), let go of everything that happened at work that day. The work day is over. What are you looking forward to once you get there? Spouse or significant other? Family, kids? Dogs? Someone making an amazing dinner for you? A very nice glass of wine and a fire?

Focus on one of those things to think about while you let your work day go…and SMILE — even if you have to force yourself to smile. Because even just smiling will brighten your mood.

6. Unplug from Technology

Even as I’m writing this, I know good and well that I struggle with this myself. My husband and I have smart phones and tablets, and I often bring my work laptop home. So I myself am not the model of unplugging. Writing for The Bulletin, Sarah Comstock addresses the fact that technology has been a double-edged sword. Advances are helpful and convenient but “have placed an enormous burden of relentless pressure on people as expectations rise in parallel with the speed of technological progress.”

Computers and gadgets are suddenly able to do just about anything; as human beings, we need to recognize that we can’t do everything. Being able to get away from our devices and technology is paramount to finding work/life balance.

In the first place, the main reason we add our work email to our phones is for convenience and flexibility. Having that connection allows us to respond to certain requests maybe between meetings, or while otherwise occupied. It’s most certainly not meant to keep us from our families or friends or to occupy our down time. You pull out the laptop with the intention of doing some personal research or maybe you are checking your bank account, and the next thing you know you’re opening Outlook and responding to emails. Suddenly a 15-minute task turns into an hour, or two. Next, there’s the itching desire to “quickly check email” while you are at a restaurant with your significant other or friends and there you go again – you get caught up in an email chain of crap that clearly could wait until the next day.

Does any of this sound like you? It’s me too, much of the time. Some different strategies to consider include…

7. Do a “Detox” from Some of the Apps on Your Phone That Suck up Your Time

These apps could include social media, games, fitness, or sports viewing. Based on a challenge I learned about on the Rich Roll podcast, for the entire month of June 2015, I took all social media off my phone. I did not check in anywhere, I did not tweet or post on Facebook, there were no new Instagram shots in my feed.

That gave me some balance when spending time with family and friends – it was nice to just be with them and not otherwise occupied with distractions.

8. Tackle Your Cell Phone Stuff

Consider whether your employer requires you to have a department-issued cell phone; and if your institutional culture dictates that you have access to your email all the time. One of my previous institutions did require a department-issued phone with work email intact. I received compensation for this, but it was expected that email notifications be turned on and the focus be on staying up to date with all communication.

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Thankfully, that is not the current culture for me. I do have work email on my phone, but notifications are turned off; and, in fact, from time to time I think about removing work email from my phone because I’d just as soon not have to worry about it. But given that my boss has work email on her phone, I model that example. And our classified staff members are not required to have email on their phone.

If the culture of your institution or your department requires this – don’t be a rogue employee for the sake of balance. But consider other ways that you can insure that your work email doesn’t dominate your device. Are you able to turn off the work-related phone on the weekends or at night? Can you talk to your supervisor about expected response times?

No one can check email 24 hours a day and still expect to be bright-eyed and bushy-tailed at the office. That is NOT work/life balance.

9. Set a Time You Spend on Checking Emails

Try to keep your email at the office from dominating your day. I’m doing the best I can to open, read, and respond/delete to my emails as soon as I get into Outlook, and then close the application until the end of the day. I try to be at “Inbox Zero” before I go home. This insures that I’m not wrongly multitasking during the work day (which, by the way, there is no such thing as multitasking) or spending too much unnecessary time on email when there are projects to complete.

A new strategy I’m employing is to not open my email until I return from my lunch break. This was something my current supervisor read about in an article, and I really love the reasoning behind it. When you start the day with email, you are letting others dictate your priorities rather than controlling these yourself. If the email truly is an emergency, that person will call you or come find you.

Hit up your main priorities in the morning, and then settle into the questions after you get some food. I’m enjoying the productivity of my morning and the peace of mind I feel because I’m not letting others dictate my work day.

Essential to unplugging and finding balance is the notion of separating. Don’t multitask your work and your life. Unless part of your job is posting to social media daily, leave all that stuff at home during the work day. Do you need Facebook and Twitter open on your computer while you try to write that report (or get your email to “Inbox Zero”)? In his book, Deep Work, Cal Newport suggests “the overuse of social media unwittingly cripples our ability to success in the world of knowledge work.”

Social media is lots of fun, but in the office it’s just a diversion that’s keeping you from finishing your vital tasks. The sooner you get your stuff done, the sooner you get home.

If you must make a personal call, check in with your significant other, or connect with your family; you can do so by taking a quick break and making your call from the break room or outside.

The Bottom Line

You’re probably scratching your head by now because most of these tips seem SO easy. They are! You just need to make the commitment to yourself, make the effort, and then go for it. You can do this!

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Featured photo credit: Simon Migaj via unsplash.com

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