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Published on February 20, 2020

15 Relationship Milestones That Are Worth Celebrating

15 Relationship Milestones That Are Worth Celebrating

As relationships evolve, there are certain relationship milestones that you and your partner will encounter. These markers signal the start of new chapters in your lives together.

These significant occasions will bring you closer and add layers of depth to your relationship.

A lot of expectant parents have read the book What to Expect When You’re Expecting. It has become a kind of Bible for parents about to bring a newborn into the world.

It’s useful because it delineates the process of pregnancy, childbirth, and beyond. Being prepared takes the guesswork out of it, and provides much-needed insight for becoming a parent.

Becoming a couple and building a strong partnership goes through its own process. Wouldn’t it be nice to know what to expect in this life stage, too?

Let’s take a look at some of the milestones couples can expect to experience in their journey together.

1. From “Just Dating” to Exclusivity

Dating is a numbers game. Sometimes, it takes a while to find what you’re looking for. It’s not unlike going shopping and trying on multiple outfits before finding the one that fits just right.

In the store of life, it can be challenging to find the perfect fit, but once you do, it’s very fulfilling.

After you’ve been going out for a while, you might discover that the person you’re seeing is pretty much everything you’ve ever wanted in a partner. You share the same goals, you’re compatible, and you love being with each other.

It’s at this point that you might decide to become exclusive and work on building your relationship. This relationship milestone is a great start, and worthy of recognition.

Having a tough time finding the right person? Check out 6 Proven Ways to Succeed with Online Dating.

2. Saying “I Love You!”

Who says it first? This is a semi-scary relationship milestone because in order to tell your love interest that you love them, you’re gambling with your heart.

What if you utter those three little words and your love interest just stands there and replies, “That’s nice”? Ouch.

When you start to realize that your feelings have turned to love, you might experience some vulnerability. Declaring your love comes with a great deal of risk. But great things usually do.

This milestone, if both parties feel the same, sets the tone for many milestones to come. It’s definitely worth celebrating your newfound closeness.

3. Making Love

This can be a momentous relationship milestone. It can come before or after saying “I love you” for the first time. Either way, by the time you arrive at this point, something amazing is happening in the relationship.

You’re starting to feel a special bond. You’ve both let down your guard, and there’s a feeling of connectedness between you.

If you’ve decided to wait until you’ve gotten to know each other better before reaching this relationship milestone, it makes the lovemaking all the more exhilarating.

Having sex with a new partner can be unnerving, exciting, and definitely unforgettable.

After all, it’s the first time. Maybe not the first time, but the first time with a new person, right? So, yes, this is definitely worthy of remembering.

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“Dear Diary…”

NOTE: If you’ve been single for a while, have been through a difficult breakup, or have experienced the loss of a loved one, this milestone is critical because it means opening yourself up again.

There may be a lot of hesitation and uncertainty, but eventually, when you’re both ready, things will fall into place, and it won’t feel so awkward anymore.

“Your heart will be at war with your body at first. But then it will slowly remember the beauty of love, intimacy, and the physical experience we are here to have. AND IT WILL SURRENDER TO IT.” – Christina Rasmussen [1]

4. Meeting Friends and Family

This is a really critical relationship milestone. Receiving the Stamp of Approval from friends and family basically seals the deal.

Even though you may have fallen hard for your person, it always feels better if your family and friends think they are just as great as you think they are.

It makes things easier for your relationship in the long run. There are going to be many events during your life together, some of them with friends and family. You want to make sure everyone gets along, if possible.

“Relationships do not occur in vacuums…the truth is that our romantic connections are embedded within our broader social lives. Thus, our romantic relationships occur in and around our broader social networks and relationships with family and friends…” – Erica B. Slotter [2]

Getting along with your partner’s good friends and close family members is critical to the success of the relationship.

Maybe Aunt Marsh isn’t very nice, but remember, all these people were there long before you were, so smile and be polite. The reunion won’t last forever.

5. Having Your First Fight

It’s going to happen. No matter how in love you are, disturbances are going to take place.

As you become more at ease with each other, guards will drop, and the baggage that you’ve both been carrying will, at some point or another, spill out.

This is obviously not cause for celebration, but you know what is? Talking it out, getting to the root of the problem, fixing it, and then moving forward.

All couples have disagreements. It’s how you manage them that is important. Each time you are able to get through an argument and become stronger for it, you’ve improved your relationship overall.

If you make it through your first fight, go ahead, have a nice dinner somewhere and talk about how much closer you feel.

6. Taking Your First Trip Together

Taking your first vacation together is certainly significant. Spending all that time away from home and all its comforts will give you a glimpse into the state of the relationship.

How well do you travel together? How flexible are you? Are you both able to compromise?

In order to travel together, you must work in tandem to come up with a trip you can both enjoy.

Your true personalities will no doubt surface at some point during the planning and the actual trip as unexpected things pop up.

“Travel pulls us from our routines and our comfort zones, so you’ll get to know a different side of a person. You’ll see how they react to lost luggage or evil mosquitoes. And they’ll see you when you’re hangry…” – Hannah Howard [3]

How you both handle things is a great indicator of each of your personalities. So, if you have an amazing time on your trip and get along splendidly, you made it through another relationship milestone!

7. Getting Engaged

You’ve dated for an appropriate amount of time — enough to know that your love interest has kept your attention, and that you want more. Lots more. It’s a solid relationship, and you believe this is The One.

After much thought, you decide that becoming engaged is the next logical step. This milestone is important because it will be the stepping stone for many more significant chapters in your life.

Getting engaged says you’re ready to take your relationship to the next level. You don’t just want to date or shack up, you want to plan a future together.

If you have gotten this far, it is definitely worth celebrating. Getting here may not have been easy, but you made it to the point where your heart and mind are saying, “This is the person I want to share my life with.”

8. Getting Married

Getting engaged is big, but getting married clinches the deal. Tying the knot says that you both want to fully commit to each other and that you’re both willing to have each other’s backs.

Taking this final step is not “just a formality,” as I often hear from people; it is saying that you’re both all in, for better or for worse.

When you get married, you’re not just saying, “Yeah, I’m going to be with you forever!” You’re actually proving it by taking the necessary step, and sharing it with your friends and family.

However, getting married doesn’t always have to be a big affair in front of many loved ones.

Some couples like it short, sweet, and private. That’s fine. You’re still stating that you’re all in, and shutting the door on everyone else.

9. Buying a Home

Consider this relationship milestone a boulder not a pebble! When you, as a couple, decide to buy a home together, you’re in the thick of it.

You may or may not be married, but you are assuming that you will be in the relationship for the long haul.

Buying a home is a huge commitment — one that requires both parties to work in unison to consider mortgage payments, taxes, decorating ideas, and more. You will have to be completely in sync to make your home a cozy nest.

Closing escrow, which essentially means that the sale is final, definitely merits celebrating.

Creating a home together requires sacrifice, effort, and lots of love. When you can pull this off, it’s time to have a housewarming party!

10. Sharing a Terrible Secret

You know that you are both deeply committed when you tell each other your worst secrets. I’m not talking about saying, “I killed a man a couple of years back in a brawl. They still don’t know it was me.” (Yikes!)

I’m talking about things — embarrassing or painful things — that you have never shared with anyone else. If you can open up to each other and divulge your BIG secret(s), that’s a sign of deep intimacy and trust.

“[I]t may take some time for you to reveal your potentially shameful personal secrets to a partner. Eventually, though, when you feel comfortable enough, those long-buried truths will likely come out — and you and your partner should become that much closer.” – Susan Krauss Whitbourne [4]

By the time you share your secret(s), you’ve built up a lot of trust in each other. That’s one way to keep your relationship expanding on many different levels, and it is definitely worth celebrating.

11. Having Your First Baby

This relationship milestone is one of the biggest life changers of all. No one is fully ready for this one. You may have the nursery all set up, and might have read What to Expect When You’re Expecting thoroughly (see above), but no one is ready.

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Having a baby will test you, the relationship, and everything else you can imagine. But it is also an opportunity to bond with your partner even more, believe it or not.

You will have to come together often to make important decisions about your baby. In the process, your love for each other will grow as you share the most priceless thing in your lives.

When your baby comes into being, it will require the stamina of an Olympic athlete, and the patience of Job. It’s a big task, but it can be done. During this time, make sure that you set aside time for each other.

You might be tempted to put romance on the back burner, but it is important to keep that love flame alive. Two happy parents produce happier children. Don’t skip date nights!

Raising a baby can be exhausting, but it can also one of the most amazing events in your lives. And imagine all the photo ops for Facebook and Instagram!

Still nervous? Read our 50 Top Parenting Tricks and Hacks That Will Make Life Easier And More Fun.

12. Dropping off Your Little Tyke on the First Day of School

What parent doesn’t shed a tear as they drop their beloved child off on their first day of Kindergarten? Their baby is no longer a baby. Kindergarten starts it all. It’s the beginning of the educational journey.

But for you, as a couple, it’s a chance to have more time to yourselves. You can both celebrate this momentous event — maybe have brunch after dropping off your little one.

Celebrate how far you’ve come; recount some of the cute things you’ve experienced, and talk about some of the things you’re looking forward to.

Think of it this way: with all the extra time you have, you can plan more romantic rendezvous for you and your honey, not to mention share prideful moments as your little person learns to count to 100.

Take lots of pictures, and enjoy this big and sentimental relationship milestone.

13. Puberty! Yikes!

At some point, without even realizing it, your child becomes a tween, and then a teenager. You seriously start to wonder who they are.

“Where’s my little princess?” you might ask. “What happened to the boy who used to cuddle with me at night?”

Yes, you will have a stranger in your house.

This phase lasts quite a while. It’s probably one of the most difficult relationship milestones. There’s major attitude, smart-mouthing, disregard for orders, hateful words, and more.

As a couple, you might find yourselves disagreeing on how certain things should be handled. But this is the time to come together; to be strong, and to build a united front.

Lean on each other for support, and build each other up when discouragement sets in. This is another bonding experience that can solidify your relationship.

During this phase, I highly recommend the book by Michael J. Bradley, Yes, Your Teen is Crazy!: Loving Your Kid Without Losing Your Mind.

When my son turned into a “stranger,” I read this book carefully. The highlighter was my friend.

This book is excellently written and extremely helpful. It will give you hope and normalize what you’re experiencing. You will feel better about yourself and your unruly teen.

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For you as a couple, it can guide you along so that you’re more adept at handling the difficult situations that might come your way.

This too shall pass. Hang in there! I don’t know if this is necessarily a relationship milestone to celebrate, but it is a milestone. What you’ll be celebrating is the day they turn human again.

Times will be rough, but it will feel so good when it ends. In an episode of Grey’s Anatomy, Ellen Pompeo says, “Why do I keep hitting myself with a hammer? Because it feels so good when it stops!” And it will stop! [5]

14. Getting a Promotion

Somewhere in between raising your teen, teaching them how to drive, and surviving it all with a tasty dinner after their high school graduation, you and/or your partner may be offered a promotion.

You may have worked hard in your chosen careers and are now being recognized by being offered a wonderful opportunity.

This might mean more money, a title change, or both, and possibly the ability to afford things you weren’t able to before. It will also mean more responsibility.

Remember to be responsible with the time you do have. Use your new benefits to come closer together, to plan trips, and to have more romantic times together.

This is a wonderful relationship milestone. It is saying, “You’ve done an excellent job, and we recognize it.” This is a time to congratulate each other and celebrate your achievements.

If both of you are working hard, but only one of you gets promoted, don’t allow jealousy to set in. Be happy for your partner. What’s good for one of you will be good for both of you. After all, you are a team.

Celebrate your promotion(s), but keep the date nights and the communication going.

Read 7 Habits of Successful Working Parents to strike the best work-family balance you can.

15. Feeling the Empty Nest

One day, after all is said and done, your little one will have turned into an adult right before your very eyes. They will be packing up for college, getting married, or simply moving out.

This will be a bittersweet relationship milestone. As much as you want your child to be independent, you are going to miss their presence.

Here is something to think about: If your relationship was neglected during the child-rearing years, there may be some consequences resulting from that neglect.

Once your child is gone, so is the distraction. It will be just you and your partner, “alone again, naturally,” as the Gilbert O’Sullivan song says. [6] The good news is, this is a great time to rediscover each other.

This milestone can be an opportunity to expand as a couple, to take time to date, travel, and enjoy friends. The sadness will dim, don’t worry. Everything will fall into place, and new routines will be created.

NOTE: In some cases, son or daughter may return home because they discover how hard it is out in the REAL WORLD. So, celebrate and enjoy your time without them while you can.

The Bottom Line

The above relationship milestones aren’t the only ones. You may have celebrated milestones that aren’t even on this list, but that were very special to you nonetheless.

Whatever markers your relationship experiences, they are markers to be acknowledged. After all, you’re building a life together.

All the shared experiences that lead up to that 60+ year anniversary are worth celebrating, are they not?

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Even More Relationship Advice

Featured photo credit: Farsai Chaikulngamdee via unsplash.com

Reference

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Rossana Snee

Rossana is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist. She aspires to motivate, to inspire, and to awaken your best self!

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Last Updated on January 15, 2021

7 Ways To Have More Confident Body Language

7 Ways To Have More Confident Body Language

The popular idiomatic saying that “actions speak louder than words” has been around for centuries, but even to this day, most people struggle with at least one area of nonverbal communication. Consequently, many of us aspire to have more confident body language but don’t have the knowledge and tools necessary to change what are largely unconscious behaviors.

Given that others’ perceptions of our competence and confidence are predominantly influenced by what we do with our faces and bodies, it’s important to develop greater self-awareness and consciously practice better posture, stance, eye contact, facial expressions, hand movements, and other aspects of body language.

Posture

First things first: how is your posture? Let’s start with a quick self-assessment of your body.

  • Are your shoulders slumped over or rolled back in an upright posture?
  • When you stand up, do you evenly distribute your weight or lean excessively to one side?
  • Does your natural stance place your feet relatively shoulder-width apart or are your feet and legs close together in a closed-off position?
  • When you sit, does your lower back protrude out in a slumped position or maintain a straight, spine-friendly posture in your seat?

All of these are important considerations to make when evaluating and improving your posture and stance, which will lead to more confident body language over time. If you routinely struggle with maintaining good posture, consider buying a posture trainer/corrector, consulting a chiropractor or physical therapist, stretching daily, and strengthening both your core and back muscles.

Facial Expressions

Are you prone to any of the following in personal or professional settings?

  • Bruxism (tight, clenched jaw or grinding teeth)
  • Frowning and/or furrowing brows
  • Avoiding direct eye contact and/or staring at the ground

If you answered “yes” to any of these, then let’s start by examining various ways in which you can project confident body language through your facial expressions.

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1. Understand How Others Perceive Your Facial Expressions

A December 2020 study by UC Berkeley and Google researchers utilized a deep neural network to analyze facial expressions in six million YouTube clips representing people from over 140 countries. The study found that, despite socio-cultural differences, people around the world tended to use about 70% of the same facial expressions in response to different emotional stimuli and situations.[1]

The study’s researchers also published a fascinating interactive map to demonstrate how their machine learning technology assessed various facial expressions and determined subtle differences in emotional responses.

This study highlights the social importance of facial expressions because whether or not we’re consciously aware of them—by gazing into a mirror or your screen on a video conferencing platform—how we present our faces to others can have tremendous impacts on their perceptions of us, our confidence, and our emotional states. This awareness is the essential first step towards

2. Relax Your Face

New research on bruxism and facial tension found the stresses and anxieties of Covid-19 lockdowns led to considerable increases in orofacial pain, jaw-clenching, and teeth grinding, particularly among women.[2]

The National Institute of Dental and Craniofacial Research estimates that more than 10 million Americans alone have temporomandibular joint dysfunction (TMJ syndrome), and facial tension can lead to other complications such as insomnia, wrinkles, dry skin, and dark, puffy bags under your eyes.[3])

To avoid these unpleasant outcomes, start practicing progressive muscle relaxation techniques and taking breaks more frequently throughout the day to moderate facial tension.[4] You should also try out some biofeedback techniques to enhance your awareness of involuntary bodily processes like facial tension and achieve more confident body language as a result.[5]

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3. Improve Your Eye Contact

Did you know there’s an entire subfield of kinesic communication research dedicated to eye movements and behaviors called oculesics?[6] It refers to various communication behaviors including direct eye contact, averting one’s gaze, pupil dilation/constriction, and even frequency of blinking. All of these qualities can shape how other people perceive you, which means that eye contact is yet another area of nonverbal body language that we should be more mindful of in social interactions.

The ideal type (direct/indirect) and duration of eye contact depends on a variety of factors, such as cultural setting, differences in power/authority/age between the parties involved, and communication context. Research has shown that differences in the effects of eye contact are particularly prominent when comparing East Asian and Western European/North American cultures.[7]

To improve your eye contact with others, strive to maintain consistent contact for at least 3 to 4 seconds at a time, consciously consider where you’re looking while listening to someone else, and practice eye contact as much as possible (as strange as this may seem in the beginning, it’s the best way to improve).

3. Smile More

There are many benefits to smiling and laughing, and when it comes to working on more confident body language, this is an area that should be fun, low-stakes, and relatively stress-free.

Smiling is associated with the “happiness chemical” dopamine and the mood-stabilizing hormone, serotonin. Many empirical studies have shown that smiling generally leads to positive outcomes for the person smiling, and further research has shown that smiling can influence listeners’ perceptions of our confidence and trustworthiness as well.

4. Hand Gestures

Similar to facial expressions and posture, what you do with your hands while speaking or listening in a conversation can significantly influence others’ perceptions of you in positive or negative ways.

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It’s undoubtedly challenging to consciously account for all of your nonverbal signals while simultaneously trying to stay engaged with the verbal part of the discussion, but putting in the effort to develop more bodily awareness now will make it much easier to unconsciously project more confident body language later on.

5. Enhance Your Handshake

In the article, “An Anthropology of the Handshake,” University of Copenhagen social anthropology professor Bjarke Oxlund assessed the future of handshaking in wake of the Covid-19 pandemic:[8]

“Handshakes not only vary in function and meaning but do so according to social context, situation and scale. . . a public discussion should ensue on the advantages and disadvantages of holding on to the tradition of shaking hands as the conventional gesture of greeting and leave-taking in a variety of circumstances.”

It’s too early to determine some of the ways in which Covid-19 has permanently changed our social norms and professional etiquette standards, but it’s reasonable to assume that handshaking may retain its importance in American society even after this pandemic. To practice more confident body language in the meantime, the video on the science of the perfect handshake below explains what you need to know.

6. Complement Your Verbals With Hand Gestures

As you know by now, confident communication involves so much more than simply smiling more or sounding like you know what you’re talking about. What you do with your hands can be particularly influential in how others perceive you, whether you’re fidgeting with an object, clenching your fists, hiding your hands in your pockets, or calmly gesturing to emphasize important points you’re discussing.

Social psychology researchers have found that “iconic gestures”—hand movements that appear to be meaningfully related to the speaker’s verbal content—can have profound impacts on listeners’ information retention. In other words, people are more likely to engage with you and remember more of what you said when you speak with complementary hand gestures instead of just your voice.[9]

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Further research on hand gestures has shown that even your choice of the left or right hand for gesturing can influence your ability to clearly convey information to listeners, which supports the notion that more confident body language is readily achievable through greater self-awareness and deliberate nonverbal actions.[10]

Final Takeaways

Developing better posture, enhancing your facial expressiveness, and practicing hand gestures can vastly improve your communication with other people. At first, it will be challenging to consciously practice nonverbal behaviors that many of us are accustomed to performing daily without thinking about them.

If you ever feel discouraged, however, remember that there’s no downside to consistently putting in just a little more time and effort to increase your bodily awareness. With the tips and strategies above, you’ll be well on your way to embracing more confident body language and amplifying others’ perceptions of you in no time.

More Tips on How to Develop a Confident Body Language

Featured photo credit: Maria Lupan via unsplash.com

Reference

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