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Published on July 25, 2019

How to Spice up Your Relationship and Keep It Fresh and Exciting

How to Spice up Your Relationship and Keep It Fresh and Exciting

Love and marriage take work. If you neglect your relationship, the connection you have with your partner will wither, and perhaps even get lost.

Needless to say, if you care about your relationship and want it to succeed, you need to work on it. You need to communicate well. You need to work on a solution to any problems that may arise. You need to face any threat to your relationship together with trust and compassion. And you need to try new things to keep it fresh and exciting.

This article is about how to spice up a relationship. I am going to give you 6 things you can do to keep things fresh and exciting for both you and your partner, and keep the connection you have with your partner strong.

1. Talk More Deeply and Openly

The first thing that I recommend most people is to learn to be more honest and open with your partner. If you and your partner already share a deep connection and you already share everything with each other, you probably don’t need to do this.

But if you are like most couples, who don’t talk about everything and don’t have a deep connection, then you will most likely find this extremely helpful and refreshing.

Here’s what you should do:

Imagine having a life where you can share everything with your partner. Your fears, your past, your weird thoughts, your aspirations, your life goals, your work goals, your fantasies and anything that comes to your mind.

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As you were reading the above sentence and imagining sharing these things with your partner, try to notice where exactly did you feel a resistance. In which part exactly your mind was like,

“I can’t share that with my partner.”

For example, maybe you were like, “I can’t share my fantasies with my partner. They are too weird.”

If you feel a resistance towards being a 100% open with your partner about everything, then that’s a weak link in your relationship with your partner. Moreover, it’s also a source of shame or fear for you. Not only are you afraid of your partner finding out about this, you are ashamed of a part of yourself.

If that’s you, I urge you to try to talk to your partner about this. Broach the subject to gauge where your partner stands and tell them how you feel about it. It may turn into a serious discussion or even a heated argument; but in the end, you will be glad you did it because if your partner truly thinks you are special, they will accept you for who you are.

Ultimately, sharing and being honest with your partner about everything is only going to bring you both closer.

2. Share Your Fantasies

This one is quite obvious and an advice you will find pretty much everywhere. This advice is so common because it works.

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When you share your fantasies, not only is it an act of vulnerability that brings you closer to each other, it also opens up the doors to a lot of adventures and sexual pleasures. Both of which brings you together.

The only thing that may go wrong here is if you share your fantasies with too much expectation. A lot of time, people share their fantasies with their partner with a presumption that their partner will want to fulfill their fantasy. And if they find out their partner is not willing to partake in the fantasy, they get upset and feel bitter about it.

When you are being vulnerable to someone, you should do it without any expectations and returns. Being vulnerable is not an act of trade. When you are being vulnerable, you should do it only with the intention of opening up to your partner.

If your partner is not comfortable with whatever your fantasies are, accept it and respect their boundaries. They might open up later, but that should not be something you should push them to do.

3. Travel Together

What better way to keep things fresh than to travel to a fresh new place, with fresh people, new food, new culture and new friendships?

When you travel with your partner, you will experience a new culture together and you will both get to share your experience with each other.

When you experience something new with someone, you associate that novelty with that person. By traveling, you will start associating novelty and excitement with your partner, and that will bring you both together and make you more attracted to each other.

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If you are traveling, make sure you define exactly what you want to do as a couple. If your goal is to reconnect and keep things fresh, then I highly recommend you go to a place that has a different culture from where you are living right now.

4. Games – All Types of Games

Games are one of the best ways to keep things fresh and entertaining for a couple. The best part is that you can choose any type of games that you find appealing. It could be video games, board games, sports, or something fun like paintball. As long as it’s a game, you can get better at and it’s competitive, you can do it together as a couple and enjoy every moment of it.

The reason why games are great at this is because they are relatively cheaper than most other options. You don’t have to spend a fortune traveling. You can just purchase an interesting board game and start playing it with friends and family.

Moreover, games give you something to talk about and do together. Before you know it, you will both be looking forward to the weekend when you can meet up with your friends for game night.

5. Charity/Volunteer Work

It may not be the first thing that comes to your mind when you hear about keeping things fresh. But volunteer work can make a huge difference in the way you see things and the world.

When you both dedicate some time to help the society and your fellow human beings, you will both learn more about each other and appreciate each other more. Not to mention you will have some of the most rewarding experience of your life. It will also give you an idea about what’s important for your partner.

The best way to go about doing volunteer work is to speak about it with your partner. Talk about it and discuss what is important for both of you and how to best make an impact in the world. Even if the impact you make is small, you will be glad you did because it will affect the life of another living being.

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6. Challenge Each Other

Couples who challenge each other to improve are the ones who love to play with each other and are involved in each other’s life. It doesn’t always have to be about something serious. You can help each other reach your life goals by challenging each other and keep each other accountable. Just make sure that you are being supportive and not talking them down.

For example, if your partner’s goal is to lose weight; you can encourage them by placing a bet with them to reach their goal weight by a certain time limit. If they win, you give them something that they really want (like that sexual position that they always wanted to try). If they lose, then they give you something that you really want. This way, you keep things fun and help each other at the same time.

But if you take it too seriously, you may get disappointed if they don’t reach their goal weight. And you may end up saying something that hurt them, causing them to feel insecure in the relationship.

So, it’s important to be careful when you are encouraging your partner to grow. Wrong expectations can lead to arguments and sometimes irreparable damage.

Final Thoughts

There are a lot of things that you can do to keep things fresh and exciting in a relationship. But it’s always best to start with proper communication and understanding.

Make sure you are not just trying to keep things fresh because there is an underlying issue that’s causing you both to drift apart. If there are issues in your relationship, work on them first before trying new things.

And whatever you decide to do, don’t take it too seriously. Remember, the goal is to keep the relationship fresh and alive, and that should always be your top priority.

More About Maintaining a Healthy Relationship

Featured photo credit: Jared Sluyter via unsplash.com

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Kevin Thompson

A breakup and relationship expert who writes about reconciliation and becoming a better person

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Last Updated on August 12, 2019

13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do

13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do

Mentally strong people have healthy habits. They manage their emotions, thoughts, and behaviors in ways that set them up for success in life.

Take a look at these 13 things that mentally strong people don’t do so that you too can become mentally stronger.

1. They Don’t Waste Time Feeling Sorry for Themselves

Mentally strong people don’t sit around feeling sorry about their circumstances or how others have treated them. Instead, they take responsibility for their role in life and understand that life isn’t always easy or fair.

2. They Don’t Give Away Their Power

They don’t allow others to control them, and they don’t give someone else power over them. They don’t say things like, “My boss makes me feel bad,” because they understand that they are in control over their own emotions and they have a choice in how they respond.

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3. They Don’t Shy Away from Change

Mentally strong people don’t try to avoid change. Instead, they welcome positive change and are willing to be flexible. They understand that change is inevitable and believe in their abilities to adapt.

4. They Don’t Waste Energy on Things They Can’t Control

You won’t hear a mentally strong person complaining over lost luggage or traffic jams. Instead, they focus on what they can control in their lives. They recognize that sometimes, the only thing they can control is their attitude.

5. They Don’t Worry About Pleasing Everyone

Mentally strong people recognize that they don’t need to please everyone all the time. They’re not afraid to say no or speak up when necessary. They strive to be kind and fair, but can handle other people being upset if they didn’t make them happy.

6. They Don’t Fear Taking Calculated Risks

They don’t take reckless or foolish risks, but don’t mind taking calculated risks. Mentally strong people spend time weighing the risks and benefits before making a big decision, and they’re fully informed of the potential downsides before they take action.

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7. They Don’t Dwell on the Past

Mentally strong people don’t waste time dwelling on the past and wishing things could be different. They acknowledge their past and can say what they’ve learned from it.

However, they don’t constantly relive bad experiences or fantasize about the glory days. Instead, they live for the present and plan for the future.

8. They Don’t Make the Same Mistakes Over and Over

Mentally strong people accept responsibility for their behavior and learn from their past mistakes. As a result, they don’t keep repeating those mistakes over and over. Instead, they move on and make better decisions in the future.

9. They Don’t Resent Other People’s Success

Mentally strong people can appreciate and celebrate other people’s success in life. They don’t grow jealous or feel cheated when others surpass them. Instead, they recognize that success comes with hard work, and they are willing to work hard for their own chance at success.

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10. They Don’t Give Up After the First Failure

Mentally strong people don’t view failure as a reason to give up. Instead, they use failure as an opportunity to grow and improve. They are willing to keep trying until they get it right.

11. They Don’t Fear Alone Time

Mentally strong people can tolerate being alone and they don’t fear silence. They aren’t afraid to be alone with their thoughts and they can use downtime to be productive.

They enjoy their own company and aren’t dependent on others for companionship and entertainment all the time but instead can be happy alone.

12. They Don’t Feel the World Owes Them Anything

Mentally strong people don’t feel entitled to things in life. They weren’t born with a mentality that others would take care of them or that the world must give them something. Instead, they look for opportunities based on their own merits.

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13. They Don’t Expect Immediate Results

Whether they are working on improving their health or getting a new business off the ground, mentally strong people don’t expect immediate results. Instead, they apply their skills and time to the best of their ability and understand that real change takes time.

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Featured photo credit: Candice Picard via unsplash.com

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