Advertising

What Happiness Is and Is Not: The True Meaning of Being Happy

What Happiness Is and Is Not: The True Meaning of Being Happy
Advertising

Are you happy? Right now?

It’s a question that we don’t really think about, is it? So take a second to stop (at the end of this sentence) and ask yourself “Am I happy?”

To answer that, don’t we need to know what happiness is?

I asked my Facebook friends to define happiness and while there were similarities, different things defined people’s happiness.

So can we come up with one definition for happiness?

Should we bother?

And what impact can true happiness bring to your life, your ambitions and even your health?

You can imagine to write this article I looked up “What is happiness?” And found tons of famous peoples from across 5000 years quotes. Of all of these I like Michael J. Fox’s the best:

“My happiness grows in direct proportion to my acceptance, and in inverse proportion to my expectations.”

Thinking of the people I’ve coached this year, this really resonated because for so many people life is not working:

It’s overwhelming. It’s hard work. It’s challenging, with endless struggles…

How can anyone be happy through that?

Are we destined to re-define 21st century happiness to reflect a world that is so fast paced and seems so unforgiving?

Happiness is not a destination. When I asked people to define happiness, lots of people told me about dogs, or people, or beaches or sunny days that sparked sheer joy in them. But happiness is not something on the outside and if yours is, then you are in trouble.

Am I Happy?

For a week, I asked myself at least 5 times a day “Am I happy?”

I really wanted to know if I was aware of happiness, or was it something elusive that came and went like the waning moon.

I discovered that yes I am happy. Looking back over the week even when I was experiencing negative emotions, I still felt happy, how is that possible? And what can we all learn from this?

For instance, I was in a lot of pain – (there’s no getting away from the fact that Lupus is tough) however for me this was a reminder that I’m alive. That I’d walked along the beach and shared the beach with some sea birds, geese and my dog. Instant calm. And pain was in context.

“Would I be without Lupus?” I asked myself. And the answer was, it’s not a priority.

Lupus has taught me so much about my tenacity, determination and belief that no matter what we face, we can still achieve big. So here’re things that make me happy and teach me valuable life lessons:

My Daughter Had an Awful Day Last Week…

“And that made you happy?!?” You ask…

While I was sad for her about that, it was an external thought that I could push away from how I personally felt. I felt sheer joy that I could be there to hold her hand, listen to her woes, make a cuppa and find ways to find her happy again. I also felt complete gratitude for my daughter.

Being there for others can make us feel happy and sad, be aware of how other people’s emotions impact on you.

In talking therapies, we call this transference. Learn to be able to empathise and care without being impacted on by someone elses’ emotions and feelings.

Sometimes the people we love aren’t ready to change or don’t believe change is possible. If you allow yourself to experience what they are feeling, then you are agreeing to hanging onto the unhappiness too, what will that do for your happiness?

Advertising

My Husband Is Always Away…

So far in 2019 my Husband has spent more time out of the country than in it. And what’s worse, he’s flying to high risk country’s where quite often we don’t even have a good enough signal to talk to each other.

I won’t lie – I experience fear for him and his safety, however I counterbalance this by reminding myself that this man is traveling around the world to help an industry be safe, training staff on best practices, repairing essential kit and helping to bring a life saving resource to the world.

It’s hard to stay scared and negative when you top that up with 26 and half years of fun times and smiles I’ve had from him.

Counterbalance the Negative with Positive

At any moment in time, you can think differently. This is so important to remember, because it’s re-framing what you are feeling so that you can see a way forward, a positive. A result that you do want rather than one you don’t.

If it’s too big to jump from hell to happiness, soul destroying to soul developing. Then just process your thoughts. Start to notice the ones that you have.

For some clients, we can make drastic improvements just by becoming aware of what is happening.

Defining Happiness

Listening to everyone’s definitions of happiness, I realized that mine is knowing that I’m in the right place doing the right things for the right people doing the best I can.

By defining what happiness looks like to me, I can work towards achieving and maintaining it. I live where I want, with the people I adore, doing a job I love and spending my working life and social life doing what reinforces my happiness.

I have utter gratitude for my life and who I am. Thus, my definition of happiness is unshakeable. If everything went wrong, I’d still done my best. If I lost everything, I would still have gratitude for what I’d had and would know that I can find a way through because I respect and know I’m doing my best.

So try it, define your happiness and find out how close you are to achieving it.

Two years ago I lived in a house with 7 rooms; and now I live in a house with 17 rooms, do I feel any happier? No, I just have more space, don’t need to queue for a loo and can open a cupboard without fearing everything is going to fall out on me.

The point is that I’ve defined happiness on an internal level but as a common theme from so many who shared their definition of happiness, I have utter gratitude.

On my darkest day, I’ve been able to see the positive. That’s not delusional its empowering and spurs you on.

Ever eaten a carrot? Try it.

You don’t really think about eating a carrot or an apple do you? But think of the joy of a carrot! I’m not joking – this little trick works well for me on days that life feels tough.

As I eat my food looking at my family around the table, I think about how much energy went into that carrot. A tiny seed, watered, fed by the sun and the earth, handled by the farmer, the picker, the shop keeper – how many people helped me eat 1 carrot?

When you see yourself eating something and what it’s been through to get here, you start to see the magic of life.

The true magic of life is not some hallowed, think that is hard for the majority of us to achieve, it’s something you can feel right now.

Think of the components in your device you read this on? Some have been around for billions of years! How can you not find magic in that?

The Illusion of Control

Control is an illusion and the more you hang on to it the harder it is to be happy. The people that found their happiness externally and thus found it harder to maintain, all said they knew they were control freaks.

Try to look for your tendency for needing certainty, hating change and wanting to know what is happening and why, in every moment or area of your life. By learning to accept your lack of control, you can increase your happiness levels.

I’ve worked with so many leaders who have striven to grip tightly to knowing everything that will happen. It causes stress, overwhelm and ruins your happiness (as well as your life.)

On the top of every plant pot around my house are tiny pebbles and shells – each one represents a walk, a picnic, a moment of tranquillity on the beach at the end of my road.

In contrast, I was working with some business owners recently and asked them a non work related question “Where do you keep your laundry basket?” It was analogy for all the jobs that need doing. Many in the room admitted they could see their wash basket in their bedroom, or it was in the hall way so they walked past it every day.

In comparison, wherever I go in my home, I’m reminded of happy moments. Remember we can get the same good hormone hits when we imagine things as when we are actually doing them? So why leave out the things that make you sad or feel inadequate?

Advertising

Now think about it, what could you have around you in sight that reminds you of the things that make you happy?

I even have a piggy bank where I add bank notes every month and its our “Fun Money.” I also add things like the shiny ticker tape that spiralled down from the ceiling when I was lucky enough to go to the filming of my favourite comedy TV show. I store fun memories with the fun money – guess what that does to my mood?

Where’re the Happy Pills?

One person told me “I get my happiness from seeing those around me happy.” While in theory that sounds great, read on as it’s not advisable or even good for you. People like this are often “people pleasers.”

I used to be one too so I know the signs and the dangers:

  • The fear of letting people down.
  • The fear of saying no.
  • The fear of what people will think can all drive this.

In my book Fight the FearI cover these 3 fears in detail, and in all the years of coaching people to success, I think the biggest impactor on our happiness and success is the fear of what other people think.

It can change though:

  • Your actions.
  • What you say.
  • How you behave.
  • What you think.
  • The goals you go for.
  • The way you live.
  • Even what you wear.

With all clients, it’s about building confidence to accept that the right people will love and respect you regardless of the things that matter to you.

Even if it’s different to them. When you are trapped by people pleasing, your happiness becomes far too intertwined in other people.

How?

Check your confidence levels.

Could you (for instance) tell a friend or loved one that you completely disagree with their view on something and know that they’d love and respect you just as much? If not, what needs to change?

You are far more likely to be honest if you feel confident. Just as many get their happiness from the outside, so do people get their confidence from external forces.

It’s by no accident that both of these things need you to build your internal skills to maintain confidence and happiness.

Can You Be Happy When You Experience Loss?

I thought back to the sadness moment I’ve had in a long time. My beautiful 13 year old Springer Spaniel Max, died suddenly. My husband was on the other side of the world and I can’t even begin to tell you how earth shattering that day was. Two years on, it still regurgitates a feeling so black I can’t (or won’t) define the emotions.

So can you be happy when you are burying your dog?

I’d powerfully learned many years before that… yes, on the saddest days you can feel utter joy, elation and happiness.

When my Nan died – I can hardly remember her being in hospital slowly wasting away over 3 months, unable to eat or walk. Scared and confused slowly shrinking from the powerful matriarch she’d been my whole life, however I can vividly remember her on millennium New Year’s Eve singing Frank Sinatra’s “New York, New” and commandeering the microphone so we had to be backing singers! And guess what? Now I’m laughing too.

How?

Try it. Teach yourself how to flip your emotions and get back to happiness. Appreciate that negative emotions and feelings can trigger the very opposite ones.

Right now, think of the saddest day you’ve ever had to go through – really feel the pain (sorry).

Think about how awful that day felt – maybe you lost your job, or your loved one was rushed to hospital and they told you to expect the worse, perhaps it is the day you lost someone you love.

Make a decision to go from the pain to the opposite – the joy of getting a new job, the action of cuddling your loved ones so tightly and being so grateful for their wellness that they retorted “You are squeezing me too tightly!” or if it is was the worse thing of all, think of one of the things your loved one said to you that always made you smile.

So can you be happy that your dog’s dead? No, but you can be experiencing both emotions at the same time. Devastation at what you lost but sheer joy, gratitude and contentment at the life you had together.

It’s a choice (and this is not easy to remember, accept or take action on). However, you think what you wish to think. I won’t hold on to sad moments in life – just the good ones. If I’m going to remember a sad moment, it is to remind me of the polar opposite.

Back up solution:

Advertising

If you find yourself struggling to find any happiness. Ask yourself ;

  • “What could the opposite emotion be here?”
  • “What experiences have I had that gave me this emotion?”

Research has proved on many occasions that just by remembering a happy moment our brain doesn’t know we are not going through that right now and can still release the same chemical reactions in our brain as if we were experiencing the good stuff!

How to Be Contently Interconnected

With such an interconnected world, we know what everyone is (allegedly) doing at any moment in time. For me, that’s awesome, it reinforces my positivity.

However, to be able to get that from my online world, I’ve done a lot of emotional intelligence over the years so that I can live happily online:

1. Don’t Listen – Don’t Look

If you scroll down someone’s feed and it’s only positive, ask yourself “How that makes me feel?”

If it makes you feel good, then that person stays, on the other hand if that person makes you feel inadequate, then ditch them. (They don’t need to know.) Now don’t tell anyone but this is what I do:

  • Anyone sharing endless before or after fat to thin images – they’re gone.
  • Anyone that constantly shares perfect selfies – they’re gone.
  • Anyone sharing millions of mantras and quotes about how easy life is – they’re gone.

Who could you ditch to improve your mood and happiness levels?

It’s going to be personal to you, and while I am Mrs. Happy and Mrs. Positive, you will also see me with no make up, sat in bed sharing a Facebook Live that is especially for someone going through hell because I’m real.

If someone needed me in the real world, I wouldn’t say “No problem, like a Super hero I will be there in 2 seconds, just give half hour to do my hair and make up.” So I won’t give a false version of me or life on line either.

2. Stop Fearing Unhappiness

Pain, sadness, anger, fear, guilt, frustration – they aren’t to be feared.

No negative emotion is. They are to be processed, accepted, understood and moved through to a better emotion.

You don’t need to fight your emotions.

This 4 step process will help you move from negative emotions to positive ones faster;

Step 1: Hear How You Feel

Don’t try and hide from the way you feel. In my experience, clients that do this end up confronting the thing they were hiding from. It tends to be the thing that is holding them back the most.

The difficulty arises when you don’t have someone to work with to help you achieve this and that allows you to keep hiding from what you truly feel.

Step 2: Understand How You Feel

By understanding how you feel, you can work out why you feel like this:

  • Was there a cause?
  • An aggravating factor?
  • An emotional vampire?
  • An action?

I have a client that I started working with last year that said they dreaded February.

“It goes too fast!” They lamented, adding “January is too long and then February flies by and you feel depressed that the year is going so fast and that you’ve still got so much to do!”

When we worked on this together, they were able to see how ridiculous this thought was.

If you are lucky enough to live for 70 years – then that’s 70 January’s you are going to hate. 2170 days in your life time you are going to dislike or feel unhappiness, 8.5% of your life you are going to be sad because of the name of a month – and that’s before we’ve added February.

The realization that a month helped created an emotion before anything had even happened helped this client appreciate the feelings they were having. (And they weren’t helping their happiness or success!)

Step 3: Accept It

Thinking it back to “I hate January” client understanding what was happening meant they could look for the proof of the impact this had on their happiness (and success). It helps speed up the process to…

Step 4: Ditching It

When you can see this process unfolding before you, it makes it a lot quicker to decide to ditch it.

Moving on – The thing to remember about the 4 step process to happiness is to check you’ve really moved on…

I see clients who say “But that’s in the past” and then as I coach them, we discover no it’s not you’ve just buried it so deeply that it’s impacting on your actions and results; but they aren’t acknowledging the sadness and unhappiness because they want to be like toddlers that hold their hands over their eyes to pretend they can’t see what they don’t want to.

Advertising

So remember, any negative feeling is not permanent and you can move through it back to happiness. There’s no such thing as a bad emotion, just the bad results you get when you hang on to it.

Pain is part of happiness, it’s just on the opposite end of the scale.

Think of all the emotions that are considered negative or bad and ask yourself:

“Can you have one without the other?”

The Bad News About Being a Happy Person

I realized that I’m always happy. Don’t get me wrong, I can strop and stomp like a WWE wrestler but I rarely stay in that mood for very long. The disadvantages are:

Abusing Your Happiness

I’m far too trusting and always assume good things are going to happen – so I assume everyone’s motives are good too. Alas as we know that’s not always the case. I’ve had to train myself to analyze situations, people and actions more – this protects me, my business, my life and even my family.

Endless Loyalty

I realized I give complete loyalty to everyone. (Not any more). I learned (often the hard way) that loyalty should be given differently to love. Love should be unconditional whereas loyalty should be slowly given and built up.

And for me rightly or wrongly, if you are disloyal once, I’m unlikely to let you back in. Why? Because my happiness, business, life and loved ones are too important to take that risk.

Getting Hurt

Assuming the best, caring about everyone and everything means you can open yourself to hurt easier too.

Be cautious. One client I’m working with told me how they’d always been a team player. And it had hurt them greatly to discover that their boss didn’t see them in the same positive light.

Despite a dedicated career and years of loyalty and hard work, they’d thought that their happiness at work was matched by that of their leaders – learning it wasn’t had massive repercussions to that clients career, and it took a lot of soul searching and 2 hours coaching to stop the hurt from getting in.

I’ve had over 100 comments on my post to define happiness. And it’s been enlightening. I realized that while I may face adversity, I always can get back to happiness. Alex Lickerman, author of Ten Worlds: The New Psychology of Happiness agrees in why I think this is possible no matter what.

In a nutshell:

Pleasure is contained within happiness but isn’t happiness itself.

We argue that happiness comes in two basic varieties: relative and absolute.

Relative happiness is joy from contemplating/having an attachment, whether that attachment is a person, place, thing, ability, idea, etc. Something we HAVE (that we can also therefore lose).

Absolute happiness is happiness that occurs independent of attachment, a kind of happiness that comes not from having a particular thing but from perceiving the world in a particular way.

The first is what most of us think happiness is and what we spend most of our time aiming for. The second is much harder, takes much more effort, but is indestructible. That is, it can survive any loss, any tragedy.”

Final Thoughts

I didn’t want to dwell on the negatives of being positive. So I leave you with this:

In my research, I looked up the word “un” – “What does it mean I thought?”

In our world, we know what unhappiness means, or unfairness however in Japanese “un” means yes.

I love the idea that in Japanese, even unhappiness translates into yes happiness!

See? Reframe back to happiness every opportunity you get!

So many things can impact on our happiness levels, if you get one thing from my article, I hope you know that I will always be here to help you get back to happiness.

Learn that happiness is not a destination, it’s a way of life that can resonate through everything you achieve, feel, do and love about life.

Advertising

More About Happiness

Featured photo credit: Gabrielle Henderson via unsplash.com

More by this author

Mandie Holgate

International Coach, Best Selling Author & Speaker inspiring people around the world to success.

50 Words of Encouragement for Moving Forward 7 Types Of Emotional Baggage And How To Deal With Them How to Control the Uncontrollable In Life 6 Types of Fear of Success (And How to Overcome Them) Self Awareness Is Underrated: Why the Conscious Mind Leads to Happiness

Trending in Mental Strength

1 How to Forgive Yourself and Move Forward for a Happier Life 2 6 Surefire Tips to Build Self-Confidence That Is Unstoppable 3 How To Let Go of Fear And Become Unstoppable 4 8 Highly Attractive Things In Women (That Have Nothing to Do With Appearance) 5 How To Connect Passion and Purpose For Fulfillment In Life

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on July 20, 2021

How to Overcome the Fear of Public Speaking (A Step-by-Step Guide)

How to Overcome the Fear of Public Speaking (A Step-by-Step Guide)
Advertising

You’re standing behind the curtain, just about to make your way on stage to face the many faces half-shrouded in darkness in front of you. As you move towards the spotlight, your body starts to feel heavier with each step. A familiar thump echoes throughout your body – your heartbeat has gone off the charts.

Don’t worry, you’re not the only one with glossophobia(also known as speech anxiety or the fear of speaking to large crowds). Sometimes, the anxiety happens long before you even stand on stage.

Your body’s defence mechanism responds by causing a part of your brain to release adrenaline into your blood – the same chemical that gets released as if you were being chased by a lion.

Here’s a step-by-step guide to help you overcome your fear of public speaking:

1. Prepare yourself mentally and physically

According to experts, we’re built to display anxiety and to recognize it in others. If your body and mind are anxious, your audience will notice. Hence, it’s important to prepare yourself before the big show so that you arrive on stage confident, collected and ready.

“Your outside world is a reflection of your inside world. What goes on in the inside, shows on the outside.” – Bob Proctor

Exercising lightly before a presentation helps get your blood circulating and sends oxygen to the brain. Mental exercises, on the other hand, can help calm the mind and nerves. Here are some useful ways to calm your racing heart when you start to feel the butterflies in your stomach:

Warming up

If you’re nervous, chances are your body will feel the same way. Your body gets tense, your muscles feel tight or you’re breaking in cold sweat. The audience will notice you are nervous.

If you observe that this is exactly what is happening to you minutes before a speech, do a couple of stretches to loosen and relax your body. It’s better to warm up before every speech as it helps to increase the functional potential of the body as a whole. Not only that, it increases muscle efficiency, improves reaction time and your movements.

Here are some exercises to loosen up your body before show time:

Advertising

  1. Neck and shoulder rolls – This helps relieve upper body muscle tension and pressure as the rolls focus on rotating the head and shoulders, loosening the muscle. Stress and anxiety can make us rigid within this area which can make you feel agitated, especially when standing.
  2. Arm stretches – We often use this part of our muscles during a speech or presentation through our hand gestures and movements. Stretching these muscles can reduce arm fatigue, loosen you up and improve your body language range.
  3. Waist twists – Place your hands on your hips and rotate your waist in a circular motion. This exercise focuses on loosening the abdominal and lower back regions which is essential as it can cause discomfort and pain, further amplifying any anxieties you may experience.

Stay hydrated

Ever felt parched seconds before speaking? And then coming up on stage sounding raspy and scratchy in front of the audience? This happens because the adrenaline from stage fright causes your mouth to feel dried out.

To prevent all that, it’s essential we stay adequately hydrated before a speech. A sip of water will do the trick. However, do drink in moderation so that you won’t need to go to the bathroom constantly.

Try to avoid sugary beverages and caffeine, since it’s a diuretic – meaning you’ll feel thirstier. It will also amplify your anxiety which prevents you from speaking smoothly.

Meditate

Meditation is well-known as a powerful tool to calm the mind. ABC’s Dan Harris, co-anchor of Nightline and Good Morning America weekend and author of the book titled10% Happier , recommends that meditation can help individuals to feel significantly calmer, faster.

Meditation is like a workout for your mind. It gives you the strength and focus to filter out the negativity and distractions with words of encouragement, confidence and strength.

Mindfulness meditation, in particular, is a popular method to calm yourself before going up on the big stage. The practice involves sitting comfortably, focusing on your breathing and then bringing your mind’s attention to the present without drifting into concerns about the past or future – which likely includes floundering on stage.

Here’s a nice example of guided meditation before public speaking:

2. Focus on your goal

One thing people with a fear of public speaking have in common is focusing too much on themselves and the possibility of failure.

Do I look funny? What if I can’t remember what to say? Do I look stupid? Will people listen to me? Does anyone care about what I’m talking about?’

Instead of thinking this way, shift your attention to your one true purpose – contributing something of value to your audience.

Advertising

Decide on the progress you’d like your audience to make after your presentation. Notice their movements and expressions to adapt your speech to ensure that they are having a good time to leave the room as better people.

If your own focus isn’t beneficial and what it should be when you’re speaking, then shift it to what does. This is also key to establishing trust during your presentation as the audience can clearly see that you have their interests at heart.[1]

3. Convert negativity to positivity

There are two sides constantly battling inside of us – one is filled with strength and courage while the other is doubt and insecurities. Which one will you feed?

‘What if I mess up this speech? What if I’m not funny enough? What if I forget what to say?’

It’s no wonder why many of us are uncomfortable giving a presentation. All we do is bring ourselves down before we got a chance to prove ourselves. This is also known as a self-fulfilling prophecy – a belief that comes true because we are acting as if it already is. If you think you’re incompetent, then it will eventually become true.

Motivational coaches tout that positive mantras and affirmations tend to boost your confidents for the moments that matter most. Say to yourself: “I’ll ace this speech and I can do it!”

Take advantage of your adrenaline rush to encourage positive outcome rather than thinking of the negative ‘what ifs’.

Here’s a video of Psychologist Kelly McGonigal who encourages her audience to turn stress into something positive as well as provide methods on how to cope with it:

4. Understand your content

Knowing your content at your fingertips helps reduce your anxiety because there is one less thing to worry about. One way to get there is to practice numerous times before your actual speech.

Advertising

However, memorizing your script word-for-word is not encouraged. You can end up freezing should you forget something. You’ll also risk sounding unnatural and less approachable.

“No amount of reading or memorizing will make you successful in life. It is the understanding and the application of wise thought that counts.” – Bob Proctor

Many people unconsciously make the mistake of reading from their slides or memorizing their script word-for-word without understanding their content – a definite way to stress themselves out.

Understanding your speech flow and content makes it easier for you to convert ideas and concepts into your own words which you can then clearly explain to others in a conversational manner. Designing your slides to include text prompts is also an easy hack to ensure you get to quickly recall your flow when your mind goes blank.[2]

One way to understand is to memorize the over-arching concepts or ideas in your pitch. It helps you speak more naturally and let your personality shine through. It’s almost like taking your audience on a journey with a few key milestones.

5. Practice makes perfect

Like most people, many of us are not naturally attuned to public speaking. Rarely do individuals walk up to a large audience and present flawlessly without any research and preparation.

In fact, some of the top presenters make it look easy during showtime because they have spent countless hours behind-the-scenes in deep practice. Even great speakers like the late John F. Kennedy would spend months preparing his speech beforehand.

Public speaking, like any other skill, requires practice – whether it be practicing your speech countless of times in front of a mirror or making notes. As the saying goes, practice makes perfect!

6. Be authentic

There’s nothing wrong with feeling stressed before going up to speak in front of an audience.

Many people fear public speaking because they fear others will judge them for showing their true, vulnerable self. However, vulnerability can sometimes help you come across as more authentic and relatable as a speaker.

Advertising

Drop the pretence of trying to act or speak like someone else and you’ll find that it’s worth the risk. You become more genuine, flexible and spontaneous, which makes it easier to handle unpredictable situations – whether it’s getting tough questions from the crowd or experiencing an unexpected technical difficulty.

To find out your authentic style of speaking is easy. Just pick a topic or issue you are passionate about and discuss this like you normally would with a close family or friend. It is like having a conversation with someone in a personal one-to-one setting. A great way to do this on stage is to select a random audience member(with a hopefully calming face) and speak to a single person at a time during your speech. You’ll find that it’s easier trying to connect to one person at a time than a whole room.

With that said, being comfortable enough to be yourself in front of others may take a little time and some experience, depending how comfortable you are with being yourself in front of others. But once you embrace it, stage fright will not be as intimidating as you initially thought.

Presenters like Barack Obama are a prime example of a genuine and passionate speaker:

7. Post speech evaluation

Last but not the least, if you’ve done public speaking and have been scarred from a bad experience, try seeing it as a lesson learned to improve yourself as a speaker.

Don’t beat yourself up after a presentation

We are the hardest on ourselves and it’s good to be. But when you finish delivering your speech or presentation, give yourself some recognition and a pat on the back.

You managed to finish whatever you had to do and did not give up. You did not let your fears and insecurities get to you. Take a little more pride in your work and believe in yourself.

Improve your next speech

As mentioned before, practice does make perfect. If you want to improve your public speaking skills, try asking someone to film you during a speech or presentation. Afterwards, watch and observe what you can do to improve yourself next time.

Here are some questions you can ask yourself after every speech:

Advertising

  • How did I do?
  • Are there any areas for improvement?
  • Did I sound or look stressed?
  • Did I stumble on my words? Why?
  • Was I saying “um” too often?
  • How was the flow of the speech?

Write everything you observed down and keep practicing and improving. In time, you’ll be able to better manage your fears of public speaking and appear more confident when it counts.

If you want even more tips about public speaking or delivering a great presentation, check out these articles too:

Reference

Read Next