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13 Ideas on How to Help Depression That Just Won’t Go Away

13 Ideas on How to Help Depression That Just Won’t Go Away

You’ve been to the doctor, you’ve seen a therapist, you’ve spent time with people who love you. In short, you’ve done everything people say you should do when it comes to overcoming depression.

Yet no matter what you do, that depression just won’t go away.

After all that, with those feelings of hopelessness, despair, fatigue and apathy at their peak, it can be all too tempting to give up.  Tempting though it may be, it doesn’t have to be this way.

Just because you’ve read all the usual advice on how to help depression and found that it hasn’t worked, that doesn’t mean that nothing will.

The truth is that just because that advice was right for some people, that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s right for you.

Today, we’ll look at some unique strategies, suggestions, tools and techniques you can use to help your depression, but first, there’s something you should know:

You can overcome this

No matter how low down you feel right now, no matter how much it feels like your depression just won’t go away, know that there are still plenty of things you can do to turn things around for the better.

Yes, things may seem hopeless right now.

Yes, even simple things like getting out of bed in a morning may require a Herculean effort that you’re not always able to muster.

But no, that doesn’t mean you have to give up.

Here, we’ll look at some practical advice on how to help depression when nothing else works, complete with simple, actionable steps, you can take right now, no matter how severe your depression may be.

1. Make the decision: Depression isn’t going to win

There’s no getting away from the fact that overcoming depression is going to take action, but one of the simplest, easiest actions you can take right now is this:

Make a decision.

A firm, concrete decision that, no matter what, depression isn’t going to win.

You deserve to be free from your depression. You deserve to be happy and enjoy life and you can be.

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If you do nothing else as a result of reading this article, make it this:

Take out a pen and a piece of paper and write down your decision. Write down your intention to get through this period of your life, and keep that piece of paper somewhere you can see it.

You may be surprised at what a difference something this small can be. In an instant, it can transform your mindset from that of somebody who is suffering with depression to somebody who is recovering from -and ready to beat- that depression.

2. Have a laugh

It’s true what they about laughter, it really is the best medicine.

Laughing releases the “happy chemical” dopamine, which moves through our body and makes us feel good.

It also releases other “feeling-positive” substances like endorphins which, among other things, relieve pain, reduce stress and can even help you sleep better, particularly useful if your depression is keeping you up all night.

With that in mind, watching funny movies or TV shows, watching standup comedy or just spending time with a friend who always makes you laugh can produce positive results.

3. Remind yourself of good times and big achievements

When you’re in the throes of severe depression it’s easy to forget that you ever felt any other way. The way you feel, it’s as if you’ve always felt this low.

If your depression is also tied into feelings of low self-worth and low self-esteem, it’s tempting to believe the lie that you’ve never done anything good or worthwhile in your life either.

You may think that, but look:

Just because you have that thought doesn’t mean you’re under any obligation to believe it.

Remind yourself of times when you were happier. When you did enjoy life, no matter how long ago that may have been.

Remind yourself of past accomplishments. Even simple things like landing a job or passing an exam can be a pretty big deal when you have low self-esteem.

Go through photographs, scrapbooks or simply your memories and remind yourself of better times. It may not be a magic cure, but it does prove powerful in flicking a switch in your brain, turning your thoughts from “I can never be happy” to “I have been happy before and if I can be that way once, I can be that way again.”

4. Create the right environment for recovery

When we go through depression, it’s easy to let even basic things like housework fall by the wayside. The result is that our environment becomes messy, dirty, chaotic and that only makes our state of mind even worse.

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So we continue to ignore the housework and thus the vicious cycle continues.

But look:

You can break that cycle, and doing so will help create the ideal environment for recovering from depression.

You don’t even have to do it all in one go.

Focus on one thing at a time, even if it’s only one corner of one room. Do what you feel you have the energy for and before you know it, you’ll have a clean, tidy, clutter-free space that’s far more conducive to overcoming your depression.

What’s more, the sense of accomplishment you get from tidying up can do wonders for your self-esteem and provide a powerful boost to your mood.

5. Cut down on sugar

When we’re deep into our depression, many of us turn to comfort foods to make us feel better; but the truth is that doing so could actually be doing more harm than good.

Sure, when we eat foods with processed sugars like candy, cookies, sugary cereals and junk food, we may get a temporary boost that makes us feel better as a small amount of dopamine is released.

Yet before long, that “sugar high” wears off and we crash down to a state of mind that’s even lower than the one we started with.

As if that wasn’t enough, much research has been done linking high sugar intake to increased levels of depression, so it’s well worth cutting down to give yourself the best possible chance of beating t his.

6. Lay off alcohol

This isn’t the only article about how to help depression which advises on changing diet, but what few others will tell you is that there’s compelling evidence as to why you should leave alcohol alone too.

A glass of wine or a beer may help you feel more relaxed or less anxious, but that’s because alcohol is actually a depressant,[1] and it depresses that part of our brain that controls inhibition, anxiety and how we feel.

The problem is that the more we drink, the more we’re basically taking a depressant into our systems, which pushes us all the way to into feeling low, possibly even more anxious and depressed than when we started.

Nobody’s saying you need to go teetotal for life but if you’ve been battling depression for a long time, this might be a good place to start.

7. Dress to impress

Depression saps us of our energy, which can make even simple things like having a good shower and getting dressed properly seem like monumental challenges.

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When depression is linked to low self-esteem, overcoming those challenges hardly seems worth it.

But finding the energy to get ourselves together and look our best, even if we don’t necessarily feel at our best, can work miracles in transforming our mindset.

Take a long shower, shave, find your best outfit – the one that always makes you feel confident and attractive and change into it.

If wearing make-up is something you feel helps you look your best, wear it.

When you’re done. Take a look at yourself in the mirror.

This is you at your best, and when you’re at your best, you can do anything, including making the big changes that will help you overcome your depression once and for all.

8. Head outdoors

With your mood lifted -even if only slightly- by looking your best, its time to head outdoors.

Sometimes, depression and social anxiety will mean that you won’t want to go very far, especially not to somewhere with crowds of people, but that’s OK. You don’t have to go very far.

After hiding away and withdrawing (as so many of us do at the height of our depression) simply taking that first step in facing the world again will provide a huge boost to the way you feel.

That’s before we even get to the added benefits of fresh air and Vitamin D from the sunshine.

9. Dance

One of the best things any of us can do to keep depression at bay is to exercise – but let’s be honest:

When you’re in the thick of it, the last thing you feel like doing is hitting the gym or going for a run.

The good news is that dancing has the same effect, if not an even bigger one.

Your body still gets all the endorphins from moving around, plus, if you’re listening to the kind of songs that always make you dance, you’ll get an added boost from that too.

10. Do a good deed

Most tips on how to help depression are all focussed on what we can do to help ourselves but there’s a lot to be said for reaching out and helping somebody else.

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In 2013, Sonja Lyubomirsky, a psychology professor at the University of California published research which showed that carrying out acts of kindness can help us feel happier long-term.[2]

It doesn’t have to be a huge gesture either. Donating to your local food bank or Goodwill store, paying somebody a compliment, watering a neighbours plants or volunteering to take their dog for a walk when they’re unable to do it themselves can all make a significant difference to the way you feel.

11. Keep up your usual routine

When all you want to do is hide under the covers and never come out again, even the simple things that make up our routine can seem impossible.

It’s tempting -and much easier- to ignore them but in my experience, doing so has a tendency to make things worse.

Yes, there’s a lot to be said for taking a few days off to practice self-care and implement strategies for overcoming your depression, but where possible, keep up with day-to-day tasks like paying the bills, doing the grocery shopping, stopping by for that weekly catch up with family or friends.

When we let those things pile up, those few bills we could have dealt with turn into a literal mountain of debt and bad news, which is not what we need when we’re trying to overcome depression.

Friends and family worry about us and offer us all kinds of unsolicited (albeit well-meaning) advice which only causes us more resentments.

Things that should have been easy get harder and harder to deal with the more we ignore them, so keeping up these day-to-day parts of our routine, no matter how much of a struggle it may feel at times, can actually prove incredibly effective.

12. Get creative

Write, draw, paint, pick up an instrument, build something, knit something. Working on something creative changes our thought patterns, giving us something else to focus on besides how we feel.

Plus, the sense of accomplishment we get from having made something of our own can once again prove to be a big help in changing our mood.

13. Create your depression emergency tool kit

Depression is a serious issue which for many people requires medication, therapy and professional support to deal with, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t do as much as you possibly can to alleviate the symptoms whilst getting that support.

Create a Depression Emergency Tool Kit full of things that will help you to feel good and keep it on standby for those times when nothing else seems to be working.

You might want to include an old iPod loaded with all your favourite feel-good music, blu-rays or DVDs of funny movies guaranteed to make you belly laugh, old photographs of happier memories, even a voucher to treat yourself to a trip to the cinema, a new outfit, or whatever makes you feel good.

You could even write yourself a letter, reminding yourself that this bout of depression will pass and that you have it within you to overcome it, no matter how tough things get.

Find what works for you best

The ideas and suggestions listed here aren’t meant to replace medical advice. If you’re dealing with depression, consulting a doctor or therapist can make all the difference.

Yet if you’ve tried those things and find they aren’t working, or if you simply want to give yourself the very best possible chance to turn things around, working your way through this list may mean you finally find the one thing that really works for you when it comes to making your depression go away for good.

Featured photo credit: Pexels via pexels.com

Reference

[1] drinkaware: Alcohol and mental health
[2] University of California: Acts of Kindness Can Make You Happier

More by this author

Chris Skoyles

Coach, and trainee counsellor specializing in mental health and addiction.

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Last Updated on August 13, 2020

12 Benefits of Meditation That Improve Your Body And Mind

12 Benefits of Meditation That Improve Your Body And Mind

As a mediation teacher, I am constantly confronted with these two questions regarding the benefits of meditation:

1. Why can’t I enjoy the benefits of meditation continuously?

I ask back: Is it maybe because you see mediation as a technique, performance, or some exclusive activity? The answer is: yes!

Or, because your mind is constantly evolving on the past negative attachments and traditional habits? After careful thinking they answer: yes, probably!

Although meditation is very simple and challenging at the same time, in the above mentioned case, it’s not easy to benefit from meditation, especially when approached with the idea that it has to be learned, studied, or applied. Meditation is to be seen as a natural, mental cleansing process that happens on a basis of awareness on a moment-to-moment experience. When that takes place, the benefits of meditation are continuous.

2. What is the purpose of meditation?

The purpose of meditation is to accomplish a level of consciousness for mastering the mind and uniting with the finest, deepest, and subtlest part of yourself as a being.

It is a conscious process of observation of the mind—helping the meditator to understand the structure of its mind and the quality of its content. During this process, countless benefits of a physical, mental, and spiritual/philosophical nature arise for the meditator.

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Meditation as a Fixer and Benefactor

In this article we’ll have a look at the primary and the ultimate benefits of mediation, which improve your body and mind at the same time. For the sake of clarity, readability, and tangible experience, I have separated the benefits into three groups.

You can change just about anything you don’t like about yourself (psychologically, as well as physically) through meditation. However, this is only possible with a specific approach, when your brain allows the benefits of meditation to do their work.

This means not to interrupt the benefit with other thoughts, but to let their effect implement itself in your body and mind. This approach is crucial.

The following exercises will make you feel the benefits of meditation instantly, but the continuity of the benefits of meditation on your body and mind depend on the discipline of your brain, how you manage external stimuli and your thoughts.

Less Physical, More Psychological

Even though the practice of meditation is more psychological and less physical, the first benefit we’re going to experience is both physical as well as mental.

This benefit happens literally immediately, right at the moment of meditation. It is the essence of mediation basically.

The First Benefit of Meditation

The first benefit of meditation is twofold:

  1. Improving inward attention (sharpening the mind)
  2. Relaxation of the body

Let’s do it right now. This benefit consists of only one step, and it is very simple to perform. It goes like this:

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Sit still and pay attention to your exhalation.

That’s it! Technically, the whole journey into the world of mediation begins here and nowhere else. And right here, you benefit from this step in the following way:

When you pay attention to the flow of your exhalation (gentle, deep, effortless exhalation), your body begins with the process of relaxation instantly (your heart rate slows down, your nervous system calms, and tension in your muscles is relieved).

When the nervous system calms, your mind calms down, and, more specifically, less thoughts are produced by your mind. How, exactly? By applying one of the most valuable mental skills—attention—the mind follows the breathing and has no space and time to generate any other thoughts. Only when the attention goes off the breath, other thoughts are constructed, and the mind is accelerating with thought production again.

Keeping the First Benefit Effective and Ongoing

Here you apply the approach of not letting the relaxation and attention process get interrupted; rather let the effects of these benefits implant in your body and mind as deeply as possible.

This is to say, the instant relaxation and inward attention happen at the same time when you follow the flow of your breath. Repeating this process—creating a constant rhythm out of the breathing and the attention—you create a process of meditation.

Keep your attention on the flow of your breath and see how the calmness of body and mind begin to rule your present moment. The longer you stay connected to your breathing, the stronger you’ll feel the benefit. Start with 3-5 minutes at a time without doing anything else, and increase to 10-20 minutes and onwards.

Can you think of a better, simpler and quicker exercise that can relax the body and improve attention in this way, at this speed?

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This benefit takes you to the second one.

The Second Benefit of Meditation

While still working with the first benefit of mediation, you slowly start to see the second benefit of mediation, which is fourfold. I call it the major value of mediation:

  1. Energy (physical and mental strength)
  2. Observance
  3. Peacefulness (stillness, and space of mind for deeper observation)
  4. Patience

Peacefulness is the source of a blissful life. The energy is the fuel to express that blissfulness. Whatever we want to accomplish in life we need: 1) Physical and mental strength, 2) Observance of that energy, 3) Peacefulness—the calmness and stillness that creates space for freedom of being and creative thinking, and 4) Patience for the process of accomplishment.

You can only get creative in thinking and boosted with physical and mental energy when you get in touch with the deepest levels of yourself—when you harmonize your mental and physiological activities. How do you do that? Let’s try it right now:

This step involves the observation of the two separate movements of your breath. After paying attention on your exhalation, you have prepared your body and mind to really see and feel what true peacefulness and true energy means.

1. Energy

Keep your attention on your inhalation (inhaling gently, deeply and lightly) and feel the new energy (new oxygen) flowing in your body. The inhalation is the symbol for aliveness and vitality. It is the the primary act that connects the baby’s body with the outside world after coming out of the womb[1]. Each inhalation is a new opportunity for your body to revive, regenerate, and renew itself.

2. Observance

The observance comes during the process of meditation, enabling you to see the physiological benefits of introducing new energy to your body. Use that benefit by utilizing its effects, and create deeper observation into yourself. With every single inhalation, this observation will enable you to generate even more energy, mentally and physically.

3. Peacefulness

Keep your attention on your exhalation, and feel how, out of the relaxation, peacefulness is spreading throughout your whole body. The exhalation is the symbol for relaxation and peacefulness. Only through meditation can you realize what absolute peacefulness means.

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4. Patience

The meditation delivers the previous benefits to you immediately and opens up the possibility for many other benefits and great virtues. A specific one to mention, which is essential for reaching the ultimate benefits of meditation, is patience. If you have experienced the aforementioned benefits, it means that you have invested a certain amount of patience into mastering yourself and your mind.

The Ultimate Benefits of Meditation

Patience is a key quality when it comes to the ultimate benefits of meditation.

Since the mind is the tool that reveals everything, mediation is the method for the proper utility of the tool.

The above mentioned benefits of mediation lead to the ultimate benefits of mediation—qualities that depict what makes a human being human. As you dwell in a meditative state of being, the following benefits begin to emanate:

  • Diligence: the persistence for righteous effort to reach an intrinsic value; inner strength.
  • Temperance: to express self-control and show excellence in managing the physio-biological and mental necessities
  • Courage: using righteous effort and braveness to look into the weaknesses of yourself and at the hardship of your life, endure it and patiently overcome the obstacles
  • Loving kindness and Compassion – a capacity to care, understand, and tolerate other people’s state of being, wishing them freedom from suffering.
  • Wisdom: the moment when you feel that mediation gives you the feeling and the knowledge that what you do relating to life and practical affairs is just.
  • Equanimity: that puts you in a state of composure, and you experience an ongoing blissful state of being.

These are the 6 ultimate benefits of meditation that put your body and mind in a state of health and balance.

Final Thoughts

Mediation exists to put order in your mind and awaken the best of you, to reconnect you to your goodness and your inborn intelligent capabilities.

Meditation is the window to your true Self. It gives you a panoramic view of your heart’s greatness. It shows you the true meaning of love, freeing you from the dungeons of ignorance and despair. The power of meditation dismantles the evil that’s trying to cloud the beauty of your heart.

Your heart, body, and soul are the bridge over which the challenges of life frequently carry their heavy load. Meditation is the support of that bridge. Make use of that support.

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Featured photo credit: Mor Shani via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] Medline Plus: Changes in the newborn at birth

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