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How to Find the Purpose of Life and Start Living a Fulfilling Life

How to Find the Purpose of Life and Start Living a Fulfilling Life

As a mindset and performance coach, I help people achieve success. My clients create high performance in what matters most to them, resulting in a strong sense of purpose and fulfillment. I’m going to share with you the transformation of a recent client and how you can use these same strategies to create a life of purpose and find your true meaning of life.

The Journey of Finding the Purpose of Life

“Ding,” my phone beeped at me, signaling a new potential coaching client had filled out my pre-interview questionnaire. She was successful in her career and enjoyed the challenge of her work. But like many of my ambitious clients, she was struggling to balance her work and her personal life. She started to feel lost about her goals in life.

This is how I met her, Jenny (alias), a high-powered career woman.

Jenny’s career had gradually crept all over her calendar, and she was trying to cram her personal life around the edges. From the time she woke up in the morning until going to bed, emails marked ‘urgent’ from colleagues and clients flooded her inbox. She spent a lot of time putting out fires and responding to the demands of others. Her self-care had dwindled. She had little time to nurture her most important relationships with family and friends.

She was feeling overwhelmed with her never-ending to-do list and was wondering if the life she imagined living was even possible.

During her interview call with me, I knew I could help her. I’ve helped hundreds of high achievers with the struggles she faced, and was confident that 8 weeks later her life would look much different.

And it did.

In our weeks together, she achieved the following results:

  • Achieved her ideal work-life rhythm (without sacrificing her career success)
  • Began an exercise habit
  • Created time to nurture new friendships
  • Streamlined her workflow in her career and personal life
  • Created the space to realize a big dream and make an action plan to achieve it
  • Defined success on her terms and built her life around what matters most to her
  • Felt a sense of purpose and fulfillment

A Step-By-Step Guide to Start Living Your Purpose

Here is a breakdown of the 4 strategies I used with Jenny. You, too, can use these strategies to find your purpose of life and your sense of significance.

1. Define your true priorities and eliminate false objectives

To live your extraordinary life, you’ll need to live YOUR life, not somebody else’s.

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Often, we live our lives how others want us to live. We build our daily habits and schedules around what our families, friends, and society want for us. We are a product of our surroundings.

It takes guts to live your life according to your true priorities, especially when your priorities differ from the people around you. When you have the courage to build your life around what matters most to you, you live authentically and your days become filled with a stronger sense of purpose and fulfillment.

Remember:

    In today’s high-pressure, crazy-busy world, it is very easy to stray away from your true priorities and build a life around false objectives. False objectives are the goals you’re working toward that don’t align with what matters most to you and the person you most want to be.

    For some people, climbing the corporate ladder is a false objective because they desire more than anything to take some time away from their career to stay home with their young kids. For others, having a large home mortgage is a false objective, because they would love the freedom to travel the world.

    In order to feel fulfilled, it’s important to closely evaluate your life and be 100% honest with yourself on the following questions:

    • What matters most to you?
    • What false objectives are you working toward?

    It’s important to identify and eliminate the false objectives in your life. When you eliminate the false objectives, you begin focusing your life on what matters most to you; and, it gives you the space to create your authentic, extraordinary life.

    This guide will be helpful for you:

    The Ultimate Guide to Prioritizing Your Work And Life

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    2. Develop a crystal-clear vision of the life you desire

    As you define your true priorities, you can start developing a vision for the life you desire.

    How will you build your life around your priorities?

    Write down everything you can think of about the life you desire. Then work on believing it’s possible to achieve it. This can be really difficult, but it’s crucial.

    If traveling is one of your biggest priorities, and you deeply desire to create a freedom-based career with a laptop lifestyle allowing you to work from anywhere in the world, you’ll need to believe it’s possible. If deep down you believe that it’s not possible for you to break free from the 9-5 in the cubicle, you won’t take the steps necessary to break free from the office.

    If you say writing is very important to you and your biggest ambition is to become a New York Times bestselling author, but deep down you believe that you’ll never finish writing your book, the actions you take every day are going to align with your disbelief. When you’re not feeling motivated to write, you won’t. When you’re feeling defeated, you’ll quit.

    What you believe about yourself–and what you believe is possible for yourself–affects how you show up every day to achieve your biggest goal.

    Get clear about the life you desire, and work on believing it’s possible to achieve it.

    Check out this article and find what matters to you most:

    There Is More to Life Than ____________

    3. Create a plan to achieve your vision

    Let’s use the bestselling author example again.

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    If your biggest ambition is to become a New York Times bestselling author, because you want to write about a topic that matters a lot to you and make a difference in the lives of many with your words, you’ll need a plan to achieve that vision.

    Hope is not a strategy. You’ll need a plan.

    You’ll need to develop a writing habit. You’ll need to research how to get published. You’ll need to learn how to effectively market the book or how to hire somebody to market it for you.

    Create a specific plan and give yourself deadlines to achieve it. Use SMART goal to outline your plan:

    How to Use SMART Goal to Become Highly Successful in Life

    4. Deal with resistance effectively

    Every day, when you are working on building your life around your true priorities and your big vision, you’ll face resistance. Your life will probably look something like this:

      This resistance occurs in many forms including:

      You will be bombarded every day with many things that attempt to distract you away from your true priorities.

      It’s important to run YOUR race, live YOUR life, focus on what matters to YOU, and build your life around YOUR vision.

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      You’ll face a lot of resistance, and it’s important to have strategies in place to deal with your resistance effectively, so you’re able to stay on track even during tough times.

      Think it’s too late to live the life you desire? Not true! Here’s the proof:

      How to Start Over and Reboot Your Life When It Seems Too Late

      Final Thoughts

      When you’re clear about what you truly desire and what matters most to you, and you develop a plan to achieve your big vision, everything changes.

      You feel more focused and you make decisions that align with your true priorities.

      You find the purpose of life.

      You show up with more passion and enthusiasm.

      You build your life around what matters most to you, and life becomes very fulfilling.

      Featured photo credit: Sharon McCutcheon via unsplash.com

      More by this author

      Dr. Kerry Petsinger

      Entrepreneur, Mindset & Performance Coach, & Doctor of Physical Therapy

      Feeling Stuck in Life? How to Never Get Stuck Again How to Find the Purpose of Life and Start Living a Fulfilling Life Don’t like your job? Here are some solutions. How People Make Decisions That Are Bad For Them How to Have a Successful Career and a Fulfilling Personal Life

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      Last Updated on February 19, 2020

      15 Positive Thinking Books You Need for a Happy Life

      15 Positive Thinking Books You Need for a Happy Life

      Books give us the opportunity to live vicariously through the lives of people with greater wisdom than ourselves. They stimulate our brains and help us not only solve the problems we struggle with, but also motivate and inspire us with new ideas.

      One of the great things about people who think positively and live happy lives is that they love to help others do the same. There are countless positive-thinking books and these 15 are a great way to help you start living a happy life.

      1. Man’s Search For Meaning by Victor E. Frankl

      mans search for meaning

        This book goes through the horrific struggle of Viktor Frankl who survived holocaust concentration camps. The only thing that kept him going was his idea that everything, even the worst of human suffering, had to have meaning. If you’re struggling through anything in your life, I guarantee the words of Viktor will give you courage to press on and find happiness.

        2. Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom

        tuesday with morrie

           

          What is life’s greatest lesson? Morrie, a retired professor with a fatal disease, opts to use his predicament to share that message as opposed to just giving up and dying. Following the last few months of Morrie’s life will help you realize what is truly important in life.

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          3. The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch

          Lecture_Book

            Similar to Tuesdays with Morrie, Randy is a college professor who finds he has a fatal disease with only a few months to live. It is customary for professors at his university (Carnegie Mellon) to give a final lecture with the basis of ‘what wisdom would you impart to a large group of people if it was your last chance?’ Randy stays incredibly positive throughout and even keeps the lecture humorous and entertaining. Amidst it all, his wisdom is a powerful reminder about how to live a happy, full life.

            4. Earning Freedom by Michael Santos

            earning freedom

              Michael Santos was sentenced to 45 years is prison for selling drugs. During his term he fought hard to earn a masters degree and half of a doctorate (halted by the warden) while writing numerous books educating students about the criminal justice system. This book provides a fascinating window into his entire sentence (released in 2012) and how a positive attitude and strong work ethic got him through it. If he found happiness in prison through positive thinking, we can do it anywhere.

              If you don’t have the attention span to finish a long book, the following quick reads are shorter but just as powerful.

              5. The Little Engine That Could by Watty Piper

              little engine that could

                This book has shaped childrens’ minds for years. It illustrates the undeniable fact that when you think positively and believe in yourself, you can accomplish extraordinary things.

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                6. The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein

                The_Giving_Tree

                  Happiness is found in giving. What does it mean to love someone? What would you sacrifice for someone you love? This children’s book teaches a valuable lesson about unconditional love and what it truly means to be happy.

                  7. The Dash by Linda Ellis and Mac Anderson

                  the dash

                    “When your life is over, everything you did will be represented by a single dash between two dates—what will that dash mean for the people you have known and loved?” (Linda Ellis) We don’t choose a lot of things about our life – parents, birthplace, etc. – but we can choose what that dash between those two dates means. This short book will give you a great perspective on making your life worthwhile.

                    8. As a Man Thinketh by James Allen

                    As-a-Man-Thinketh

                      “The outer conditions of a person’s life will always be found to be harmoniously related to his inner state… Men do not attract that which they want, but that which they are.” (James Allen) This book might be short, but it is jam-packed with statements that will make you stop and think. We truly become what we think we are. Negative thoughts affect us more than we know. Positive thinking = happy life.

                      9. A Million Miles in a Thousand Years by Donald  Miller

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                      a-million-miles-in-a-thousand-years

                        You are the author of your story. No matter how boring or dull your life has been, you can always turn it around. Donald was in a rut in his life. He had no desire to get out of bed and found himself questioning the meaning of life. Eventually he realized he wasn’t a slave to a pre-written script. He used that mindset to turn around his thoughts, actions, and life. When the closing credits roll on the story of your life, what will people say? Never forget that you have the power to push your limits and live an interesting, happy life.

                        10. The Traveler’s Gift by Andy Andrews

                        travelersgift

                          The Traveler’s Gift is a fictional story about a man who is overwhelmed with life and finds himself thrown into numerous true events from history – including Abraham Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address. He interacts and learns important life lessons from seven different experiences. The book is full of ways to think more positively and find more success in life.

                          11. David and Goliath by Malcolm Gladwell

                          david and goliath

                            Malcolm Gladwell motivates you to challenge your preconceptions of underdogs and misfits in this thought-provoking book. When you break down the facts in the story of David and Goliath from the Bible, you find that David really wasn’t an underdog at all – he was the one with the advantage. This book outlines story after story after story of people who were at a disadvantage and learned to find the strength in their weakness.

                            12. How Will You Measure Your Life by Clayton M. Christensen

                            how will you measure

                              How would you feel if you got to the end of your life only to realize you had been measuring success wrong? Clayton provides a mass amount of wisdom and advice on how to live a life you won’t regret.

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                              13. Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff by Richard Carlson

                              Dont_Sweat_Small_Stuff

                                The small things we worry about every day may not seem like a big deal, but they wear us down slowly and stop us from living up to our full potential. Learn how to get rid of those worries and negative thoughts and live a happier life.

                                14. Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis

                                mere christianity

                                  C.S. Lewis, who used to be an Atheist, explains how he came to find meaning in life through Christianity. He breaks down all the reasons we doubt and falter in life and how living the principles of Christianity fixes our weaknesses. Lewis is famous for his deep, thought-provoking quotes and this book is no exception.

                                  15. Bushido: The Way of the Samurai by Tsunetomo Yamamoto

                                  bushido

                                    Bushido is based on the Hagakure, a document that served as the basis for samurai warrior behavior. The document’s purpose was to shape the mind and the spirit of the samurai warrior.

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                                    Featured photo credit: Annie Spratt via unsplash.com

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