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Struggling To Be An Adult? You Are Not Alone

Struggling To Be An Adult? You Are Not Alone

Are you in your mid to late twenties or perhaps even in your thirties already and still struggling to be an ‘adult? Independence is something that can be difficult to achieve, whether it be from the time you graduate from college, moving away from family or even being newly single after a break up. It is never easy to seek full independence but do not worry because here is a selection of 5 books to get you covered and on the right track to excelling in being an independent adult. At least you can try to.

The Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey

    Taking care of your finance can be the hardest part of adulting. Dave Ramsey, a renowned businessman is here to prepare you for finance 101. Instead of giving you quick fixes, Ramsey takes you on the whole process of planning your finances, and debunk the myths of cash advances and debt consolidation, to guarantee your financial health. It might be difficult for some of us to follow strictly with his no-debt theory, yet there is no denying this is the best way to avoid abusing credit cards, and the feeling of debt-free is carefree and relieving.

    Reading duration: 3hrs 51mins

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    Get The Total Money Makeover from Amazon at $14.49

    Grace’s Guide: The Art of Pretending to Be a Grown-Up by Grace Helbig

      Youtube star Grace Helbig shared her tips to becoming a grown-up, from surviving a breakup, going through job interviews, to surviving hangovers. The book is full of personal stories of Helbig, her struggles and misadventures, lessons she learnt from failing multiple times. This book is your on-the-go fun read with pictures and drawings of Helbig, worksheets to practice, and easy recipes you can try out.

      Reading duration: 3hrs 19mins

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      Get Grace’s Guide: The Art of Pretending to Be a Grown-Up from Amazon at $7.95

      My Boyfriend Barfed in My Handbag . . . and Other Things You Can’t Ask Martha by Jolie Kerr

        The cleaning expert Jolie Kerr offers you a practical guide to clean up emergencies in lives. Without the help of the greatest person in the world (aka your mom) for laundry and cleaning your white kicks, let’s face it, sometimes we struggle with odour, spills and stains coming out of nowhere. Kerr takes on questions ranging from the basic—how do I use a mop? to what should I do when bottles of home brewed ginger beer explode in my kitchen? Expect this to be your re-read again and again guidebook to help you through the struggling 20s when you start to care for your belongings.

        Reading duration: 3hrs 37mins

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        Get My Boyfriend Barfed in My Handbag . . . and Other Things You Can’t Ask Martha from Amazon at $12.00

        The Oh She Glows Cookbook: Over 100 Vegan Recipes to Glow from the Inside Out by Angela Liddon

          Having suffered from eating disorder and subsisting on diet, low-calorie processed foods, Angela Liddon swore to eat healthy once and for all, and went with the hard way – going vegan. She threw out her fat-free butter spray and low-calorie frozen dinners and embraced whole foods diet after learning how to properly cook (instead of microwaving the frozen pizza). This book contains more than 100 recipes covering breakfast, salads, smoothies, soups, sides, power snacks and the main dishes for a guaranteed healthy, nutritious meal at any time of the day. We all know that healthy eating is all part of being independent.

          Reading duration: 4hrs 45mins

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          Get The Oh She Glows Cookbook: Over 100 Vegan Recipes to Glow from the Inside Out  from Amazon at $22.22

          Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice on Love and Life from Dear Sugar by Cheryl Strayed

            Life can be hard, especially when it comes to relationships with others, your lover cheats on you; you lose a family member. Tiny Beautiful Things is filled with personal stories of Cheryl Strayed, the famous advice columnist. Strayed writes about different subjects: a gay son rejected by his parents, a woman who fears her sexual fetishes, a mother who has lost her child. And the message hidden throughout all her advice is always

            if you want a good life, you have to create it. If that involves creating boundaries or leaving a loving relationship, do it. If that involves seeking therapy, do it.

            Reading duration: 5hrs 12mins

            Get Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice on Love and Life from Dear Sugar from Amazon at $8.79

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            Lifehack Reads

            Lifehack Reads is the curated collection of our favorite books, carefully categorized and sorted by our Editorial Team.

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            Last Updated on September 4, 2019

            How to Achieve a Realistic Work Life Balance

            How to Achieve a Realistic Work Life Balance

            Kate is a hard-working manager working at a startup company.  She toils at work but gets that nagging feeling that she’s missing out on living her life. And then perversely, when she’s not working, she tries to switch off ‘work-mode’ to enjoy her passions, friends, family… but eventually she finds that she just doesn’t have the energy.

            Many people are like Kate, misunderstanding the true meaning of work life balance. They try to keep ‘work’ and ‘life’ separate, but this brings undesirable results.

            The Mystery of Work Life Balance

            Those who are trying to maintain a work life balance only by dividing their time – by driving a sharp wedge between work-mode and life-mode – are inadvertently dividing themselves.

            When people juxtapose ‘work’ and ‘life’, they unconsciously think in terms of ‘work’ versus ‘life’ – and are constantly forced to choose one at the expense of the other.  In this framework, a gain on one side is always a loss on the other side.

            And so people start to see ‘work’ as the times when they are not living their lives. ‘Work’ is seen as a necessary evil that they must suffer through until it’s time to switch off. But if you encode everything related to work as negativity and suffering, while your ‘life’ strains under the weight of unrealistic expectations of enjoyment, there really is no balance there at all.

            Re-balancing work and life is possible by seeking out a new and enjoyable job to a certain extent. But no job is perfect. There are always going to be tedious aspects to any job. And before long you’ll wind up on the same ‘life’ versus ‘work’ see-saw because you haven’t changed the old framework.

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            How to Achieve a Realistic Work Life Balance

            The true goal is to redistribute the positive (+) and negative (-) evenly across life.

            Most people try to make it all positive off work to compensate the negativity at work like this:

              If it’s all negative at work and all positive when the work mode is switched off, the work performance will suffer – creating even more negativity. People will lean heavily on their off-mode life for happiness, but they can’t truly achieve happiness because they are not facing the problems at work.

              Conversely, there are those who do strive to put positivity into their work life. Their work life balance looks like this:

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                Unfortunately, if these people are still stuck in the old on/off framework, all the negativity will shift to their off-mode self, and their relationships and health will suffer.

                Very few lucky people experience positivity on both sides of the equation, their work life balance looks like this:

                  If you are one of those who experience positivity in both sides, lucky you! You are one of the less than 5% of the population.

                  For the rest of the 95% of the population, here is a cure to having a realistic work life balance.

                  The solution is to recover the sense of a unified self. When you do, you’ll dismantle the competing work/life binary, and you’ll stop unconsciously labelling work as ‘suffering’ and life as ‘enjoyment’. Positive energy will begin to flow smoothly and effortlessly through your life.

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                  To recover the sense of a unified self, ask yourself: Why do I really do what I do, in life and in work?

                  Your answer to this question make up your blueprint of a unified self, charged with meaning that relates directly to who you are and what you care about.

                  Use your blueprint now to examine your life at work, your leisure time and your relationships and see if they align with each other. The new framework is no longer ‘balance’, but ‘alignment’.

                  This will reveal to you a number of things:

                  • There are aspects of your work that are not suffering: Look again and you’ll find many positive aspects that reflect what you care about. For example, you may value creativity, and realize that you get the opportunity to show it at work every day.
                  • Things you care about at ‘work’ are the same as what you care about in your ‘life’: For example, you may value friendship in your life, and you also practice this value with your colleagues. Your values exist in all your interactions, and serve your unified self.
                  • What you do at work and what you do in your life support and enhance each other: For example, the same generosity you show your friends can forge good client relationships when practiced at work. Your resourcefulness at work can be used to solve obstacles in your personal life.

                  Crucially, you never need to use the on/off work model again because you’re constantly acting in accordance with what you truly value. As a result, you’ll find that your positive energy will not be subject to draining or overflowing, off/on, but will instead flow consistently through all your states of being in a perpetual positive feedback loop.

                  This is how a realistic work life balance is like:

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                    Your renewed conceptualisation from ‘balance’ to ‘alignment’ is an inner transformation that can empower you whatever your current circumstances are.

                    For example, it may reveal that you truly are suffering in your current job. But now you can unroll your blueprint to identify the cause of the negativity (i.e. what isn’t aligning with what you value?) and either remind yourself why you’re really doing what you’re doing, or make a tweak… or indeed change your job.

                    Even if the latter, you can still be sustained by positivity until you find that new job. You may hate your everyday tasks, but one of things you value is to be a good provider for your family – so you’re spurred on, knowing that you’re doing that every day.

                    Or if you’re a workaholic, your blueprint may reveal that what you previously undervalued as ‘off-mode’ (relaxing, having fun, pursuing a passion, spending time with family and friends) actually contain a wealth of values that support – and even enhance – a well-rounded working life.

                    A value-rich and optimally tuned work life alignment helps maintain a flow of positive energy and happiness in all aspects of being. So go ahead and make the blueprint for yourself!

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