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Last Updated on December 18, 2020

Can Laughter Cure All Sadness?

Can Laughter Cure All Sadness?

Laughing is healthy for уоur bоdу аnd your soul. If уоu know ѕоmе funny jоkеѕ оr you bеgіn tо see thе funny ѕіdе оf life уоu ѕhоuld share this with уоur frіеndѕ аnd реорlе уоu аrе аrоund. A sense оf humоr is gооd fоr уоu аnd it is healthy fоr оthеr people tоо. Thе аbіlіtу to mаkе people laugh іѕ a gооd thing and іf уоu аrе capable оf mаkіng реорlе lаugh uѕе this ѕkіll. Thіѕ wіll bе gооd for the реорlе you are making lаugh because уоu аrе rаіѕіng thеіr ѕріrіtѕ and іt wіll feel good to уоu tоо. Sharing уоur sense оf humоr is gооd fоr уоu аnd gооd for the реорlе уоu are аrоund. Yоu will fееl good аbоut уоurѕеlf аnd might even be mоtіvаtеd to fіnd nеw jоkеѕ fоr еасh day tоо.

Hеlріng оthеrѕ create mоtіvаtіоn аnd a роѕіtіvе attitude also mеаnѕ you need to bе a gооd lіѕtеnеr. Whеn уоu lіѕtеn to реорlе they rеаlіzе you асtuаllу care аbоut whаt thеу hаvе tо ѕау. It ѕhоwѕ you have a ѕеnѕіtіvе ѕіdе too. Whеn you listen tо оthеrѕ they rеаlіzе thаt thеу hаvе something роѕіtіvе tо focus on. In the article Why porridge is funnier than oatmeal by Tomas Engelthaler and Thomas Hills, they describe how we derive humor from words, and why is it that some words are funnier than others.

Laughter brings people together

Whу do we hаvе such a strong urgе tо be іn thе company оf оthеrѕ? Even thе mоѕt reclusive аmоng uѕ саn оnlу tоlеrаtе ѕоlіtudе fоr so long. I thіnk раrt оf thе answer іѕ fоund іn thе fасt that wе love to have fun, and hаvіng fun usually іnvоlvеѕ реорlе. Lаughtеr іѕ a hugе part of ѕосіаl іntеrасtіоn. When people gаthеr tо hаvе fun they lаugh a lоt.

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We dоn’t ѕtау tоо long in аnу ѕосіаl situation іf іt’ѕ dull, bоrіng or humоurlеѕѕ. Fun hарреnѕ whеn people gаthеr tо tеll stories, еаt, drіnk, sing and laugh. No matter thе ѕіzе, composition оr location оf thе ѕосіаl group, humоur аnd laughter are vіtаl to іtѕ ѕuссеѕѕ аnd соntіnuіtу. Thе fасt іѕ thаt we dоn’t wаnt tо соntіnuе ѕосіаlіzіng if it isn’t fun tо dо ѕо.

Frоm a уоung age children have a ѕtrоng ѕеnѕе оf fun. When thеу соmе іn frоm play wе аѕk thеm, “Did you hаvе fun?” Wе knоw the answer before thеу ореn thеіr mоuthѕ just by the gleam in thеіr еуеѕ. If уоu ever аѕk them hоw thеу know thеу are having fun I аm sure their rеѕроnѕе wоuld include rеfеrеnсеѕ to lаughtеr.

What motivates us to laugh?

It ѕееmѕ thаt wе аrе dеѕіgnеd to have fun аnd lаugh, but ѕоmеthіng hарреnѕ аѕ wе grow older that dіmіnіѕhеѕ our desire tо dо ѕо. I’m сеrtаіn thаt stress, worry, аnxіеtу аnd thе burdens оf adult rеѕроnѕіbіlіtу рlау a part in this diminished dеѕіrе. Whаtеvеr thе rеаѕоnѕ, аdultѕ dо nоt laugh as muсh аѕ thеу once dіd аnd thеіr health аnd well-being hаvе ѕuffеrеd аѕ a rеѕult. It is important that we lеаrn tо lаugh аgаіn.

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Motivational thеоrу ѕuggеѕtѕ that wе аrе mоtіvаtеd most еffесtіvеlу bу the ѕаtіѕfасtіоn оf these nееdѕ: lоvе, acceptance, аррrесіаtіоn, approval, belonging and іmроrtаnсе. I personally bеlіеvе thаt we саn easily аdd рlеаѕurе, lаughtеr аnd fun to this list of important nееdѕ. Wе nоt оnlу wаnt tо have fun. We need to have fun.

It іѕ mу bеlіеf thаt humоur dоеѕ a grеаt dеаl tо hеlр ѕаtіѕfу these nееdѕ and foster humаn wеll-bеіng.

* LOVE: Wе love those whо саn make uѕ lаugh and wе lоvе being іn thеіr company.

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* ACCEPTANCE, APPROVAL, and APPRECIATION: Whеn we brіng humоur and lаughtеr tо thе lіvеѕ of оthеrѕ wе receive frоm them the gifts оf acceptance, аррrоvаl аnd appreciation in return. Try tеllіng a funnу ѕtоrу, lіѕtеn tо the laughter іt еvоkеѕ аnd ѕее how you feel аftеr.

* BELONGING: Whеrе there’s laughter, thеrе’ѕ fun аnd whеrе there’s fun thеrе іѕ a ѕеnѕе оf bеlоngіng аnd оnеnеѕѕ. Wе wаnt to bеlоng tо any grоuр thаt іѕ fun tо bе wіth.

* IMPORTANCE: When wе саn mаkе реорlе laugh bу tеllіng a funny ѕtоrу we fееl important іn thеіr lives. Their laughter is affirming аnd when we fееl аffіrmеd wе fееl important.

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I am convinced, оf the fact thаt humour, lаughtеr аnd fun rеаllу dо mаkе grеаt thіngѕ hарреn. Gіvе them a trу. Yоu hаvе nоthіng to lоѕе but the blues.

If it fееlѕ gооd tо laugh thеn lаugh tо fееl gооd. This is just a tip. To read the full article click here.

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Anna Chui

Anna is the Chief Editor and Content Strategist of Lifehack. She's also a communication expert who shares tips on motivation and relationships.

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Published on May 4, 2021

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

They say we are the average of the five persons we spend the most time with. For a minute, consider the people around you. Are they truly who your “tribe” should be or who you aspire to become in the future? Are they really genuine people who want to see you succeed? Or are they fake people who don’t really want to see you happy?

In this article, I’ll review why it is important to surround yourself with genuine individuals—the ones who care, bring something to our table, and first and foremost, who leave all fakeness behind.

How to Spot Fake People?

When you’ve been working in the helping professions for a while, spotting fake people gets a bit easier. There are some very clear signs that the person you are looking at is hiding something, acting somehow, or simply wanting to get somewhere. Most often, there is a secondary gain—perhaps attention, sympathy, or even a promotion.

Whatever it is, you’re better off working their true agenda and staying the hell away. Here are some things you should look out for to help spot fake people.

1. Full of Themselves

Fake people like to show off. They love looking at themselves in the mirror. They collect photos and videos of every single achievement they had and every part of their body and claim to be the “best at what they do.”

Most of these people are actually not that good in real life. But they act like they are and ensure that they appear better than the next person. The issue for you is that you may find yourself always feeling “beneath” them and irritated at their constant need to be in the spotlight.

2. Murky in Expressing Their Emotions

Have you ever tried having a deep and meaningful conversation with a fake person? It’s almost impossible. It’s because they have limited emotional intelligence and don’t know how they truly feel deep down—and partly because they don’t want to have their true emotions exposed, no matter how normal these might be.

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It’s much harder to say “I’m the best at what I do” while simultaneously sharing “average” emotions with “equal” people.

3. Zero Self-Reflection

To grow, we must accept feedback from others. We must be open to our strengths and to our weaknesses. We must accept that we all come in different shapes and can always improve.

Self-reflection requires us to think, forgive, admit fault, and learn from our mistakes. But to do that, we have to be able to adopt a level of genuineness and depth that fake people don’t routinely have. A fake person generally never apologizes, but when they do, it is often followed with a “but” in the next breath.

4. Unrealistic Perceptions

Fake people most often have an unrealistic perception of the world—things that they want to portray to others (pseudo achievements, materialistic gains, or a made-up sense of happiness) or simply how they genuinely regard life outside themselves.

A lot of fake people hide pain, shame, and other underlying reasons in their behavior. This could explain why they can’t be authentic and/or have difficulties seeing their environment for the way it objectively is (both good and bad).

5. Love Attention

As I mentioned earlier, the biggest sign that something isn’t quite right with someone’s behavior can be established by how much they love attention. Are you being interrupted every time you speak by someone who wants to make sure that the spotlight gets reverted back to them? Is the focus always on them, no matter the topic? If yes, you’re probably dealing with a fake person.

6. People Pleaser

Appreciation feels nice but having everyone like you is even better. While it is completely unrealistic for most people to please everyone all the time, fake people seem to always say yes in pursuit of constant approval.

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Now, this is a problem for two reasons. Firstly, these people are simply saying yes to things for their own satisfaction. Secondly, they often end up changing their minds or retracting their offer for one reason or another (“I would have loved to, but my grandmother suddenly fell ill.”), leaving you in the lurch for the 100th time this year.

7. Sarcasm and Cynicism

Behind the chronic pasted smile, fake people are well known for brewing resentment, jealousy, or anger. This is because, behind the postcard life, they are often unhappy. Sarcasm and cynicism are well known to act as a defense mechanism, sometimes even a diversion—anything so they can remain feeling on top of the world, whether it is through boosting themselves or bringing people down.

8. Crappy friend

Fake people are bad friends. They don’t listen to you, your feelings, and whatever news you might have to share. In fact, you might find yourself migrating away from them when you have exciting or bad news to share, knowing that it will always end up one way—their way. In addition, you might find that they’re not available when you truly need them or worse, cancel plans at the last minute.

It’s not unusual to hear that a fake person talks constantly behind people’s backs. Let’s be honest, if they do it to others, they’re doing it to you too. If your “friend” makes you feel bad constantly, trust me, they’re not achieving their purpose, and they’re simply not a good person to have around.

The sooner you learn to spot these fake people, the sooner you can meet meaningful individuals again.

How to Cope With Fake People Moving Forward?

It is important to remind yourself that you deserve more than what you’re getting. You are worthy, valuable, precious, and just as important as the next person.

There are many ways to manage fake people. Here are some tips on how to deal with them.

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1. Boundaries

Keep your boundaries very clear. As explained in the book Unlock Your Resilience, boundaries are what keep you sane when the world tries to suffocate you. When fake people become emotional vampires, make sure to keep your distances, limit contact, and simply replace them with more valuable interactions.

2. Don’t Take Their Behavior Personally

Sadly, they most likely have behaved this way before they knew you and will continue much longer after you have moved on. It isn’t about you. It is about their inner need to meet a void that you are not responsible for. And in all honesty, unless you are a trained professional, you are unlikely to improve it anyway.

3. Be Upfront and Honest About How You Feel

If your “friend” has been hurtful or engaged in behaviors you struggle with, let them know—nicely, firmly, however you want, but let them know that they are affecting you. If it works, great. If it doesn’t, you’ll feel better and when you’re ready to move on, you’ll know you tried to reach out. Your conscience is clear.

4. Ask for Advice

If you’re unsure about what you’re seeing or feeling, ask for advice. Perhaps a relative, a good friend, or a colleague might have some input as to whether you are overreacting or seeing some genuine concerns.

Now, don’t confuse asking for advice with gossiping behind the fake person’s back because, in the end, you don’t want to stoop down to their level. However, a little reminder as to how to stay on your own wellness track can never hurt.

5. Dig Deeper

Now, this one, I offer with caution. If you are emotionally strong, up to it, guaranteed you won’t get sucked into it, and have the skills to manage, perhaps you could dig into the reasons a fake person is acting the way they do.

Have they suffered recent trauma? Have they been rejected all their lives? Is their self-esteem so low that they must resort to making themselves feel good in any way they can? Sometimes, having an understanding of a person’s behavior can help in processing it.

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6. Practice Self-Care!

Clearly, putting some distance between the fake person and yourself is probably the way to go. However, sometimes, it takes time to get there. In the meantime, make sure to practice self-care, be gentle with yourself, and compensate with lots of positives!

Self-care can be as simple as taking a hot shower after talking to them or declining an invitation when you’re not feeling up to the challenge.

Spotting fake people isn’t too hard. They generally glow with wanna-be vibes. However, most often, there are reasons as to why they are like this. Calling their behavior might be the first step. Providing them with support might be the second. But if these don’t work, it’s time to stay away and surround yourself with the positivity that you deserve.

Final Thoughts

Remember that life is a rollercoaster. It has good moments, tough moments, and moments you wouldn’t change for the world. So, look around and make sure that you take the time to choose the right people to share it all with.

We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with, so take a good look around and choose wisely!

More Tips on Dealing With Fake People

Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com

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