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Why Quitters Can Become Winners Too

Why Quitters Can Become Winners Too

At the age of 25, my career accelerated when I was promoted from an engineer to a manager within a growing I.T. company. At the time, I was the youngest manager in the firm steering a diverse team of engineers. It was my dream job to lead a team of professionals using my passion and knowledge for coding in order to add value and achieve big things. It took four years of hard work to end up getting promoted to the top where I continued to produce bigger and better projects in new and exciting directions. I was living my dream.

Yet two years later I quit my job.

Everyone around me couldn’t understand why after all my hard work and dedication. I was going places on a fast track to bigger and bigger success. But I decided to quit despite all this and a while later, I found Lifehack.

The True Courage Behind Quitting

Quitting isn’t all about giving up when it feels like you’re failing. Quitting in the face of potential success is one of the most courageous things you can do.

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We grow up being taught that what isn’t broken needn’t be fixed. This shapes our belief that you should never quit while you’re ahead and it comes out of fear of the unknown. Quitting your job, for example, could negatively impact your career and spill into your personal life and finances. And because of this, we choose to stay safe, living in our comfort zones despite it not making us truly happy or fulfilled.

    However, while the idea of staying in our comfort zones feels generally warm and safe, we’re really just staying for the sake of not changing. While we do this, we’re not fully considering opportunities to grow and improve ourselves which is a big factor in creating our personal happiness.

    Leonard Schlesinger, president of Babson College and coauthor of the book Just Start: Take Action, Embrace Uncertainty, Create the Future sums this up by saying,

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    I find a lot of people paralysed by their unhappiness with their current reality.

    It’s this paralysis that stops us from taking that leap of faith into the unknown and keeps us stuck in the same job despite it feeling mundane or easy. Daniel Gulati, tech entrepreneur and coauthor of Passion & Purpose: Stories from the Best and Brightest Young Business Leader, believes

    most people stay too long in bad jobs because the corporate world is geared towards keeping us in roles, not matching individuals up with their ideal roles.

    In other words, we’re simply not growing and not creating situations where we will thrive and move forward.

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    The Real Reason You Feel Stuck

    If you feel like you’re stuck in life, the chances are it’s because you’re choosing to resist quitting what isn’t working for you and ultimately not preparing for the change quitting would bring.

    You may believe your main reason for not leaving a job or any unhappy life situation is because you haven’t figured out what it is you really want. However, this kind of thinking is flawed. You won’t learn or discover your ideal career, for example, by sitting around thinking about it. If your current situation is making you unhappy, it’s important to find that inner courage to look for something else.

      It’s only in this kind of action and headspace that the true breakthroughs will happen. People who do the same job day in, day out but not ever finding real meaning in what they do, will never be the people who flourish and succeed no matter how hard and persistent they work.

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      The Magic of Quitting and the Growth it Brings

      The idea of quitting is instilled in our minds as a negative thing. Quitting is negative when used as a way to flee away from challenges and responsibilities. But in some cases quitting is a necessary path to success. It’s all down to embracement rather than fear. Successful people quit to win and embrace new challenges – not because they fear change.

        Sometimes, quitting is exactly what you need to do in order to find what’s best for you – something you may never find doing the same things every day: “If you don’t know what to be gritty at yet, you need to try lots of things – knowing you’ll quit most of them – to find the answer” (Barking up the Wrong Tree by Erick Barker). In other words, don’t fear quitting as a failure, just see it as another step closer to finding your purpose.

        And the true magic of quitting without fully seeing the next step is urgency. We all know that feeling of urgency that brings about uncomfortable fear but it’s this sense of urgency that creates the space to find the next thing that really matters to you. That path that’s really worth your investment, passion and time. That path that you’d never find staying in your comfort zone.

        Change Your Mindset on Quitting

        The main idea to take away here is quitting for growth not quitting to flee from challenges. Make quitting meaningful by asking yourself these questions in order to fully know your reasons for quitting:

        • What makes you happy?
        • What can’t you stop talking about?
        • What makes you think that it’s worth suffering for?
        • What are you really good at doing?
        • If you knew you could not fail, what would you do?
        • What would you do for free because you love it so much?
        • If you had 12 months to live, would you still be doing what you’re doing now?

        We all know deep down, what makes us happy and what doesn’t. We don’t always have the courage to change because fear and worry takes over. But to truly live a happy life, quitting something that’s no longer serving you or allowing you to grow should be viewed as a necessity rather than choice. Don’t view quitting as a negative, see it as a chance to win at life and boost your value to the world.

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        Leon Ho

        Founder & CEO of Lifehack

        The Secret to Success Is Failure How to Stop Bad Habits: 9 Scientifically Proven Methods How To Be Successful In Life: 13 Life-Changing Tips How To Be A Successful Person (And What Makes One Unsuccessful) The Ultimate Guide to Prioritizing Your Work And Life

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        Last Updated on April 7, 2020

        How to Use the Law of Attraction to Make Your Dreams Happen

        How to Use the Law of Attraction to Make Your Dreams Happen

        People seem to believe that they can simply think their way straight to success. They mistakenly believe that if they just think about their dreams often enough and vividly enough that–poof!–They’ll just seem to come true.

        But life is not a magic trick.

        If you told a starving child in Africa who had not had a single meal in five days to use the Law of Attraction to manifest a meal for themselves, how well do you think it would work out for them?

        Clearly, there’s more to it than envisioning what you want.

        If you want to know what it really takes to achieve your greatest goals and ambitions, then here’s a list of steps that will outline how to use the Law of Attraction the proper way.

        1. Focus Your Thoughts in the Direction of Your Dreams

        If you were to take a pebble and toss it into a pond, what happens?

        As soon as the pebble strikes the surface of the water, you get a series of ripples or waves, which spread outwards in a circular direction, until they get to the shoreline and seem to stop.

        The larger the pebble, the larger the ripples. The larger the pebble, the higher the waves.

        Two stones of different sizes and weights tossed in at the same time, at different places but in close proximity, will both create a series of ripples, which will eventually merge with one another…

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        When the two sets of ripples converge, there seems to be a bit of a struggle as to which one overcomes or passes the other.

        As far as the human eye can see, if the ripples are the same size, both seem to stop or merge when they collide.

        But if one set of ripples is larger than the other, the larger set sweeps over the smaller set and creates waves in the wake of the smaller ripples.

        Let’s consider this analogy in relation to our own thought-patterns and mental impulses…

        Imagine you’ve got two stones in each hand.

        • The stone in your left hand is labeled, “failure”
        • The stone in your right hand is labeled, “success”

        The weight of each stone is in direct proportion to the amount of *thought* you give its label.

        So… How heavy are your stones?

        If your “failure” stone is heavier, then its ripples will simply stop or take over the ripples created by your stone labeled “success.”

        But if your “success” stone is heavier, then that will be the one that takes over.

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        It’s important to keep this in mind as you put the Law of Attraction to use towards making your dreams happen: ensure that you focus your thoughts on successfully achieving those dreams more often than you focus on the fear of failure that you might experience if you don’t.

        2. Get Specific

        What do you want? What do your dreams look like, specifically?

        The other day, my three-year-old daughter lost one of her toys. It was a little brown tiger with a red sweater. When she couldn’t find it, she freaked out. She loved that little tiger with a red sweater.

        Of course, being a loving dad, I tried helping her find it – but to no avail. We looked all over the place, and it was nowhere to be found.

        Eventually, I stumbled upon a little tiger. Yes!

        I ran over to my daughter, Nora, and enthusiastically said, “I found it! I found it!”

        She popped her head up from looking under the couch and joyfully ran over to me with her hands extended…

        But then, as she got closer, the glimmer in her eyes disappeared. “That’s not it, Dada!” she whined.

        Then she took the tiger and held it up for me, “This tiger is wearing a pink sweater, it’s a girl-tiger, and her fur is light brown. My favorite tiger is lost and it wears a red sweater, it’s a boy-tiger, and he’s dark brown!”

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        So, we searched and searched, and searched some more.

        And eventually, we found that tiger.

        Nora found exactly what she was looking for, because she refused to settle for anything less.

        And even though this can be annoying sometimes, even though it doesn’t always make sense to be so exacting about what you want, I can’t help but respect the hustle.

        The key take-away from the story is this: if you want to make the Law of Attraction work for you, you have got to get specific. What is it, exactly that you want? Figure it out down to every specific detail and write it down.

        Once you’ve done that, it’s time to start taking action towards making it happen.

        3. Put Some Actions Where Your Thoughts Are

        Many people make the mistake of looking at the Law of Attraction as if it were a stand-alone solution to making their dreams a reality. They believe that they can make a vision board and use positive thinking to achieve success.

        But these folks need a wake-up call, because positive thinking is not enough. It will never be enough.

        If we THINK positive, but we still FEEL negative, then how will we ACT?

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        Your thoughts, actions and feelings are like a three-legged stool. Positive thinking is powerful, but only when we think of it as one of the three necessary legs that reinforces the stool we’re sitting on.

        If we don’t want the stool to wobble or break, we’ve got to make sure we give each leg the care it needs to keep us from falling down and getting hurt.

        The key here, with making the Law of Attraction work for you, is to focus on being as congruent as possible between your thoughts, feelings, and actions.

        What’s the best way to do that?

        First, remember that the way you THINK has got to be in line with the way you ACT. Because the way you act is going to have an impact on the way you FEEL.

        And the way you feel is going to help reinforce the way you think, or it’s going to help you re-examine the way you think. Which is going to circle right back around into helping you decide the way you choose to act in any given situation.

        See the feedback loop these three end up creating?

        The Bottom Line

        It’s not the Law of Attraction or positive thinking alone that drives our success in life — it’s about being in positive congruence between the way we think, act, and feel that drives our success in life… And at the very least, keeps us from falling off the stool.

        If we want to make big things happen, we’ve got to take action.

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        Featured photo credit: Nathan McBride via unsplash.com

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