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When Size Doesn’t Matter! Value Happiness By Frequency Instead Of Intensity!

When Size Doesn’t Matter! Value Happiness By Frequency Instead Of Intensity!

How often do you scroll through your social media feeds, seeing people having fun at weddings, parties, and events and think…

“Why am I not having fun?”

“My life is so boring.”

“Everybody seems so much happier than me.”

Many of us are guilty of this kind of thinking.

In fact, it’s been found that up to 1 in 5 of us feel depressed as a result of using social media. [1]

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The reason we feel bad when we see other people having fun on social media is simple:

We value big milestones more than small moments of happiness.

Luckily, we can fix this by altering the way we think about happiness.

Read on to find out how.

Are you only happy when something ‘big’ happens?

What’s the most recent happy memory you can recall?

If you’re like most people, it’s probably a big event. Maybe it’s a birthday, a graduation ceremony, or a party.

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While it’s great to enjoy this kind of special occasion, it shouldn’t be your only source of happiness.

After all, why would you only allow yourself to have fun a few times a year, when you could be finding joy in small moments every single day?

We’re here to tell you how you can start feeling happy every single day – not just on special occasions!

Happiness begins with a generous spread of gratitude

Happiness doesn’t have to be about the intensity of a positive experience – it can about the frequency of positive experiences instead.

In order to feel like we’re having lots of happy moments, we need to be constantly on the look out for them.

Keeping a gratitude journal can really help with this.

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Buy a new notebook, and keep it beside your bed. Before you go to sleep, take the time to list five things you’re grateful for.

Here’s an example:

1. I’m grateful for eating a delicious breakfast.

2. I’m grateful for spending time in nature.

3. I’m grateful for seeing a friend.

4. I’m grateful for drinking a warm cup of tea.

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5. I’m grateful for buying a new T-shirt.

As you can see, you don’t need to have reached any huge milestones to write in your gratitude journal.

Instead, you’ll learn to focus on the many good things that happen every day – the things we often ignore or take for granted.

Keeping a gratitude journal has been shown to: [2]

  • Boost happiness
  • Make you healthier
  • Help you sleep better
  • Increase empathy
  • Boost self-esteem
  • Make you mentally stronger

Don’t look far for happiness. It’s right next to us.

As well as keeping a gratitude journal, there are a few tricks that will help you to focus more on the positive things in your life.

Here are ten suggestions to get you started.

  1. Surround yourself with positive people. They’ll help you to appreciate all the good in the world, and won’t drag you down with negativity.
  2. Create positive affirmations based on what you like about your life. Write them down or repeat them in front of the mirror each day. For example, “I have a great life.” “I love my job.”
  3. Be mindful. Try to bring your full awareness to everything you do. For example, breathe deeply and close your eyes when drinking a cup of coffee, appreciating the full experience.
  4. Spend less time on social media. Stop comparing yourself to others and start enjoying your own life.
  5. Take photos of small happy moments. Had a great donut from the shop near your house? Take a photo, and double your happiness by looking back and remembering the experience.
  6. Write about small happy moments. This is another great way to savour a good experience. Write down every small detail, focusing on all five senses.
  7. Decide to be positive. How you view situations is up to you. Try to reframe negatives. Instead of thinking, “I hate the commute to work,” try thinking, “I’m so glad public transport exists, and I don’t have to trek miles.”
  8. Plan treats for yourself. Don’t wait for special occasions to make you happy – create your own. Plan a fun day in the city, or a trip to that museum you’ve always wanted to visit.
  9. Help others. Helping others is proven to boost your mood, and is a great way to double the happiness you bring into the world.
  10. Set gratitude reminders. Set an alarm on your phone, and remind yourself to be grateful for something every time it goes off – even if you’re stuck in a boring meeting, or queueing at the grocery store.

Happiness isn’t just about big events and milestones.

Take the time to feel happy about small things every single day, and you’ll be healthier, happier, and mentally stronger.

Reference

More by this author

Eloise Best

Eloise is an everyday health expert and runs My Vegan Supermarket, a vegan blog and database of supermarket products.

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Last Updated on August 12, 2019

13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do

13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do

Mentally strong people have healthy habits. They manage their emotions, thoughts, and behaviors in ways that set them up for success in life.

Take a look at these 13 things that mentally strong people don’t do so that you too can become mentally stronger.

1. They Don’t Waste Time Feeling Sorry for Themselves

Mentally strong people don’t sit around feeling sorry about their circumstances or how others have treated them. Instead, they take responsibility for their role in life and understand that life isn’t always easy or fair.

2. They Don’t Give Away Their Power

They don’t allow others to control them, and they don’t give someone else power over them. They don’t say things like, “My boss makes me feel bad,” because they understand that they are in control over their own emotions and they have a choice in how they respond.

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3. They Don’t Shy Away from Change

Mentally strong people don’t try to avoid change. Instead, they welcome positive change and are willing to be flexible. They understand that change is inevitable and believe in their abilities to adapt.

4. They Don’t Waste Energy on Things They Can’t Control

You won’t hear a mentally strong person complaining over lost luggage or traffic jams. Instead, they focus on what they can control in their lives. They recognize that sometimes, the only thing they can control is their attitude.

5. They Don’t Worry About Pleasing Everyone

Mentally strong people recognize that they don’t need to please everyone all the time. They’re not afraid to say no or speak up when necessary. They strive to be kind and fair, but can handle other people being upset if they didn’t make them happy.

6. They Don’t Fear Taking Calculated Risks

They don’t take reckless or foolish risks, but don’t mind taking calculated risks. Mentally strong people spend time weighing the risks and benefits before making a big decision, and they’re fully informed of the potential downsides before they take action.

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7. They Don’t Dwell on the Past

Mentally strong people don’t waste time dwelling on the past and wishing things could be different. They acknowledge their past and can say what they’ve learned from it.

However, they don’t constantly relive bad experiences or fantasize about the glory days. Instead, they live for the present and plan for the future.

8. They Don’t Make the Same Mistakes Over and Over

Mentally strong people accept responsibility for their behavior and learn from their past mistakes. As a result, they don’t keep repeating those mistakes over and over. Instead, they move on and make better decisions in the future.

9. They Don’t Resent Other People’s Success

Mentally strong people can appreciate and celebrate other people’s success in life. They don’t grow jealous or feel cheated when others surpass them. Instead, they recognize that success comes with hard work, and they are willing to work hard for their own chance at success.

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10. They Don’t Give Up After the First Failure

Mentally strong people don’t view failure as a reason to give up. Instead, they use failure as an opportunity to grow and improve. They are willing to keep trying until they get it right.

11. They Don’t Fear Alone Time

Mentally strong people can tolerate being alone and they don’t fear silence. They aren’t afraid to be alone with their thoughts and they can use downtime to be productive.

They enjoy their own company and aren’t dependent on others for companionship and entertainment all the time but instead can be happy alone.

12. They Don’t Feel the World Owes Them Anything

Mentally strong people don’t feel entitled to things in life. They weren’t born with a mentality that others would take care of them or that the world must give them something. Instead, they look for opportunities based on their own merits.

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13. They Don’t Expect Immediate Results

Whether they are working on improving their health or getting a new business off the ground, mentally strong people don’t expect immediate results. Instead, they apply their skills and time to the best of their ability and understand that real change takes time.

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Featured photo credit: Candice Picard via unsplash.com

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