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Common Things People Only Regret After They Break Up

Common Things People Only Regret After They Break Up

Thinking of breaking up with your partner? Going through a breakup? Looking for some relationship advice? Here it is: Breakups can cause a whirlwind of emotions.

It’s Like Riding an Emotional Roller Coaster

There’s that sense of relief mixed with a touch of sadness. That new found freedom tainted by the nagging feeling that something is missing. And the worst of all? The regret. That doubting, remorseful notion that you have somehow made a mistake.

It’s Hard to Deal with Tons of Regrets

Regret can be hard to deal with. Sometimes, you regret wasting time on a failed relationship. You start thinking about all the things you could have done and counting all the wasted hours spent arguing.

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Other times, you regret making the decision to end the relationship. You start remembering the good times and wishing it had all gone differently. You wonder if you’ve just made the biggest mistake of your life.

Guess what? You didn’t. Feeling any sort of regret after a breakup is normal and you are not alone.

But Don’t Be Fooled!

It’s far too easy to look back on a relationship and reminisce about all the good times and everything you miss. When you’re regretting how everything ended it’s even easier to forget the bad moments.

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The best bit of relationship advice for you right now is this: The bad moments happened, that’s why you broke up. Remember this the next time you start thinking, “If only…”

Sometimes you just completely regret the relationship. Not because you miss the other person, but because you feel like you’ve made a terrible mistake in your life.

Learning to recognize your regret is an important step in getting over your ex. Sound relationship advice let’s us know that once you recognize these feelings, you can learn to process them.

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Common Regrets After a Breakup

These are some of the most common regrets people have after a breakup:

1. I shouldn’t have been so _____.

Fill in the blank; needy, nagging, impatient, selfish, jealous – the list goes on. You look back on the time the two of you spent together and recognize some less-than-perfect traits about yourself.

Regretting your past behavior is normal and the perfect opportunity to learn from your mistakes. You know you let your insecurities and emotions take control. Now you’re ready to work on yourself so it doesn’t happen again in the future.

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2. I should have tried harder.

Remember that one Valentine’s Day when you just wanted to stay home and watch re-runs on TV? Celebrating the day was important for your ex, but you didn’t care. What about that one time you forgot their birthday and didn’t remember until it was too late? Your ex was devastated and couldn’t understand why they weren’t more important to you.

This regret is difficult to cope with. By just recognizing your mistakes, however, you’re making a giant leap toward personal growth. Take this as your own personal relationship advice and try not to be so hard on yourself. Everybody makes mistakes and nobody is perfect. This breakup has given you the opportunity to become a better romantic partner in your next relationship.

3. I should have ended the relationship sooner.

Everybody knows that maintaining relationships takes effort. Without this effort, relationships have no chance at being happy, healthy, and fulfilling. So, you make a commitment to your partner, to your future together, and you work at making things better. And you work, and you work, and you work.

Sometimes, the effort it takes to sustain a relationship far outweighs the benefits of the relationship and that’s when it’s best to call it quits. Maybe you waited too long to do that. Now you’re feeling like you’ve wasted a large part of your life-this is not true. What you’ve done is given yourself a learning opportunity, a rich life experience. Now you know the things that work, the things that don’t work, and which issues are worth the effort. You’re one step ahead of everyone else.

Stop the Regretting

Take this relationship advice to help you be more prepared for your future relationships. Know that feeling regret is a normal stage of breakup recovery. Regret can even be healthy if you choose to learn from it instead of linger over it. Take this time to rediscover what you want and need in a relationship.

More by this author

Amber Pariona

EFL Teacher, Lifehack Writer, English/Spanish Translator, MPA

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Last Updated on February 1, 2019

How to Increase Your Self Awareness to Be Much More Successful

How to Increase Your Self Awareness to Be Much More Successful

Self awareness can be defined as having a clear understanding of your personality, including your beliefs, emotions, motivation, strengths and weaknesses.

A 2010 study by Green Peak Partners and Cornell’s School of Industrial and Labor Relations found that self awareness is a key and common characteristic of successful leaders. [1]

And research[2] by the Driehaus College of Business at De Paul University has also demonstrated that high self awareness leads to improved team performance.

Self Awareness Makes You Improve Much Faster Than the Others

“If I have lost confidence in myself, I have the universe against me.” – Ralicoph Waldo Emerson

Self awareness allows us to understand who we are, and how others see us. From this, we can determine how similar or different we are to other people.

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Individuals with high self awareness tend to live happier and more fulfilling lives. That’s because being self aware brings several powerful benefits, including:

  • Finding and expressing your authentic self.
  • Being proactive, instead of reactive.
  • Enjoying positive and harmonious interpersonal relationships.
  • Having deeper thoughts.
  • Revealing your true purpose.

One secret behind the magic of self awareness, is the fact that being self aware allows you to see your weaknesses. Once you know what they are, you can then act accordingly to fix them (where possible).

As an example, think back to a time when you achieved a major success in your life. Your confidence jumped off the scale, and suddenly, everything in your life began to look rosy. However, success was fleeting, and before long you were not only back where you started – but had lost your initial faith and confidence too.

Instead of seeing this as bad luck or personal failure, the better response would be to analyze exactly what happened.

What caused your success? What caused your failure? And what could you have done differently?

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By answering these questions, you’ll gain insight into your decision making and personality traits. Most importantly, you’ll be able to discover where you went wrong, and how you could avoid this next time around. This is how self awareness becomes a crucial partner in reaching your dreams and goals.

How to Increase Your Self Awareness

“Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom.” – Lao-Tze

Okay, you’ve now seen some of the ways that self awareness can boost your success in life. (And we’ve only scratched the surface of potential benefits.)

It’s now time to reveal several tips and techniques that will increase your self awareness.

Take a psychometric test: You’ll understand more about yourself

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Psychometric tests are ideal for raising your self awareness. The tests force you to think deeply about yourself, and how your react to different situations. Self reflection = Self awareness. Try this free, 100-question psychometric test offered by the University of Cambridge.

Keep a personal journal: It can reduce anxiety and depression at the same time

Writing a daily journal can be a great tool for increasing your self awareness. If your writing is honest and open, you’ll quickly discover things about yourself that you’d never previously realised. You’ll also begin to see how habits create your conditions. For self awareness purposes, your daily journal should (at the very least) list your biggest failures and greatest successes of the day. Science supports the effectiveness of journalism, with a recent Psychotherapy Research study[3] showing that writing a daily journal reduced anxiety and depression.

Learn to meditate: To clear your thoughts

If you’ve never tried meditating before, then you should definitely consider trying it, if you want to boost your self awareness. Meditation can help you to delve below the incessant chatter of your conscious mind, and instead, let you tap into the depths of your subconscious mind. As well as boosting your well-being and health, meditation can clear your thoughts, and help you to become more creative.[4]

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How to get started? There are plenty of books and videos that can teach you the basics of meditation. Alternatively, you’ll be sure to find mediation classes in your local area.

Ask for feedback: You’ll be amazed

Choose a close family member or friend who knows you well. Ask then to give you an honest appraisal of your actions, beliefs and motivations. You’ll be amazed (and possibly shocked!) at what you hear. In fact, it’s likely that you’ll gain a completely new perspective on yourself. Use this new knowledge to make positive changes that could increase your effectiveness and success in life.

Through boosting your self awareness, you’ll begin to see new, exciting opportunities for growth and success. You’ll also learn how others see you. This will help your interpersonal relationships – as well as your ability to read others.

Self awareness can help you predict the success of others. It can also help you predict your own success.

So, choose to follow in the footsteps of the highly-successful, and start developing your self awareness today.

Reference

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