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If You Want a Great Relationship, Focus on Improving Yourself

If You Want a Great Relationship, Focus on Improving Yourself

It is difficult to be in a relationship with someone else if you have a negative relationship with yourself.

It can make you feel emotionally dependent on your partner. It can make you feel jealous and crazy. It can cause friction in your relationship, and it can cause the relationship to turn sour.

This leaves both people feeling confused, upset, angry and overwhelmed. Both partners may feel isolated and alone – even when they are physically with their partner.

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If you can relate to this, it is time you for to focus on improving yourself. This is because no-one else will be able to love you properly until you love yourself.

When you do start to improve yourself, you will notice that you become happier and more confident. People will be attracted to your warm, friendly, positive personality, and they will love you for it. On the other hand, if you don’t improve yourself you will emit a negative, sad vibe that pushes people away from you.

It may seem like a big task, but it is actually quite easy to improve yourself – and there are so many benefits to doing so! You will love yourself more, you will be more positive and happy in relationships, and it will be emotionally rewarding on a daily basis.

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If you want relationship advice to improve your relationship with yourself, look no further. Here are five ways to improve yourself.

How To Improve Yourself

Treat Yourself With Love

The first thing that you need to do to improve yourself is treat yourself with love. If you don’t have a great relationship with yourself it is likely that you often ignore your own needs, but that stops today. Make an effort to listen to your needs and wants, and communicate with yourself about those needs and wants. For instance, if you feel hesitant about something don’t push your thoughts down – take the time to think about why you feel hesitant, and respect that feeling.

Don’t Insult Yourself

An unhealthy relationship is filled with put downs and insults, but a healthy relationship is filled with encouraging, positive affirmations. Remember that you are your friend, not your enemy. Try to stop insulting yourself, and if you do insult yourself make sure to think a positive thought afterwards. Over time this will help to replace the internal insults with comments that make you feel better about yourself. This relationship advice may seem simple, but it is very effective.

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Replace Negative Words With Positive Ones

If you have a poor relationship with yourself, you may have a negative thought process. This will affect the way that you see the world and yourself, so it is time to make an effort to replace negative words (such as no, ugly, bored, lonely, annoyed, disinterested) with positive words (such as yes, happy, content, grateful, thank you, love).

To start with you may feel like you are faking a new personality, but this attitude will soon feel normal – and you will feel happier for it.

Replace Negative Thoughts With Positive Ones

Once you’ve changed the way you speak, it will be easier for you to change the way that you think. If you catch yourself having a negative thought, make a conscious effort to push the thought out of your mind.

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Find A Real Reason To Be Healthier And Happier

Lots of people try to be healthy because they think that they should, but in reality this is a bad reason to be healthy. It means that you won’t enjoy being healthy, and it is likely that you will still be unhealthy on a regular basis.

Find a real reason to be healthy; a reason that isn’t just obligation. Make an effort to find exercises, sports and healthy foods that you like, and set health milestones to track your progress.

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Amy Johnson

Amy is a writer who blogs about relationships and lifestyle advice.

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Last Updated on April 1, 2019

How to Be Happy: Why Pursuing Happiness Will Make You Unhappy

How to Be Happy: Why Pursuing Happiness Will Make You Unhappy

When we talk about happiness, we often think about staying happy all the time – every single day, every single minute with zero negativity. Many try to pursue this constant state of “happiness” as their ultimate goal, and avoid anything that may take it away from them.

But, what is the meaning of this type of “happiness”?

It’s a lot like your favorite food. The more often you have it isn’t always better. On the contrary, when you only have a chance to eat it sparingly, that’s when you really savor every bite. So is it the food itself that makes you happy, or is it how valuable it is to you when you are eating it?

Always remember that only by experiencing sadness do we understand what it is to be happy.

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Video Summary

Don’t Assume Others Are Always Happy

Most people see those who have seemingly perfect lives and assume they are happy all the time. Since childhood, we are conditioned to chase the idea of “happily-ever-after” that we see in fairytales. On social media, everyone tends to share only the best looking aspects of their lives. So, it’s very easy to have a distorted view of what “happiness” is around us.

In reality, there is always something missing, something lacking, or something unpleasant.

No one has a perfect life. Even the most glamorous celebrities or the richest billionaires have their own set of challenges and problems.

When we feel negative, we’re only focusing on a small fluctuating curve. As CEO of Lifehack, I’ve had to deal with countless problems, and some of them felt like real setbacks at the time. During those moments, it really seemed like these problems would be the life or death of my company and my life goals. But, I got through them; and, weeks, months and eventually years passed with many more ups and downs.

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You need to keep your sights on the extended curve.  Looking back now, a lot of those “really big” problems at the time now seem like only small blips in a long line of experiences. Recalling them in my mind now makes me smile!

Stop Trying to Be Happy–Just Be

It’s natural to want to be happy as often as possible.

So what can we do?

First, throw away the belief that a perfect life means happiness. Personally, I would be miserable if everything was perfect. It’s through experiencing the pains of lifelong challenges that drives us to care for others when they are experiencing similar trials. If life was perfect, you wouldn’t be able to empathize. If life was perfect, you wouldn’t grow.

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To be truly happy, stop chasing permanent happiness.

It sounds like a paradox. But, what I mean is to accept that there will be ups and downs throughout life. Gracefully understand that happiness is a fluctuation of positive and negative events.

Understand the importance of gratitude. Instead of focusing on the unpleasant moment, flash back your memory to when you didn’t have something. I like to think about my career, for example. When I didn’t have a career I was passionate about, I felt lost and demotivated. I felt like everyone was figuring out their lives but me. But, when I found my purpose and started Lifehack, I was deeply happy, even before I realized I would be successful! This memory keeps me going when I hit tough spots. It takes the darkness to make us grateful for the light.

Happiness and Sadness Exist Together

What it all comes down to is this: your life will be filled with beautiful, happy and incredible moments–happy tears and joyous shouts and funny stories. But, your life will also be filled with rain and storms that never seem like they will pass while you’re going through them.

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But, whether your face is warmed by the sunshine, or your heart is dampened by the rain, know that it’s all part of the ebb and flow of life.

Treasure the happy moments and power through the sad ones. Don’t try to avoid “sad” or “negative” experiences, and blindly chase being “happy”. In the end you will achieve a true level of contentment in your life, based on meaningful experiences and achievements. Being able to create growth and meaning out of both positive and negative events — that is the true meaning of “happiness”.

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