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If You Want a Great Relationship, Focus on Improving Yourself

If You Want a Great Relationship, Focus on Improving Yourself

It is difficult to be in a relationship with someone else if you have a negative relationship with yourself.

It can make you feel emotionally dependent on your partner. It can make you feel jealous and crazy. It can cause friction in your relationship, and it can cause the relationship to turn sour.

This leaves both people feeling confused, upset, angry and overwhelmed. Both partners may feel isolated and alone – even when they are physically with their partner.

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If you can relate to this, it is time you for to focus on improving yourself. This is because no-one else will be able to love you properly until you love yourself.

When you do start to improve yourself, you will notice that you become happier and more confident. People will be attracted to your warm, friendly, positive personality, and they will love you for it. On the other hand, if you don’t improve yourself you will emit a negative, sad vibe that pushes people away from you.

It may seem like a big task, but it is actually quite easy to improve yourself – and there are so many benefits to doing so! You will love yourself more, you will be more positive and happy in relationships, and it will be emotionally rewarding on a daily basis.

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If you want relationship advice to improve your relationship with yourself, look no further. Here are five ways to improve yourself.

How To Improve Yourself

Treat Yourself With Love

The first thing that you need to do to improve yourself is treat yourself with love. If you don’t have a great relationship with yourself it is likely that you often ignore your own needs, but that stops today. Make an effort to listen to your needs and wants, and communicate with yourself about those needs and wants. For instance, if you feel hesitant about something don’t push your thoughts down – take the time to think about why you feel hesitant, and respect that feeling.

Don’t Insult Yourself

An unhealthy relationship is filled with put downs and insults, but a healthy relationship is filled with encouraging, positive affirmations. Remember that you are your friend, not your enemy. Try to stop insulting yourself, and if you do insult yourself make sure to think a positive thought afterwards. Over time this will help to replace the internal insults with comments that make you feel better about yourself. This relationship advice may seem simple, but it is very effective.

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Replace Negative Words With Positive Ones

If you have a poor relationship with yourself, you may have a negative thought process. This will affect the way that you see the world and yourself, so it is time to make an effort to replace negative words (such as no, ugly, bored, lonely, annoyed, disinterested) with positive words (such as yes, happy, content, grateful, thank you, love).

To start with you may feel like you are faking a new personality, but this attitude will soon feel normal – and you will feel happier for it.

Replace Negative Thoughts With Positive Ones

Once you’ve changed the way you speak, it will be easier for you to change the way that you think. If you catch yourself having a negative thought, make a conscious effort to push the thought out of your mind.

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Find A Real Reason To Be Healthier And Happier

Lots of people try to be healthy because they think that they should, but in reality this is a bad reason to be healthy. It means that you won’t enjoy being healthy, and it is likely that you will still be unhealthy on a regular basis.

Find a real reason to be healthy; a reason that isn’t just obligation. Make an effort to find exercises, sports and healthy foods that you like, and set health milestones to track your progress.

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Amy Johnson

Freelance writer, editor and social media manager.

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Last Updated on August 15, 2018

What Makes a Relationship Boring and How to Avoid It

What Makes a Relationship Boring and How to Avoid It

You’ve finally reached that comfortable spot in your relationship. You finish each other’s sentences and know before they order what the other one will have for lunch at your favorite restaurant. But, it’s starting to feel like boredom to you.

Video Summary

Security Can Lead to Boredom

It is normal to reach this level of security in a relationship. The longer you’re with somebody, the more you get to know them and what to expect from them. This level of familiarity is the cause of relationship boredom.

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Although security is definitely something you want with your significant other, what you don’t want is the boredom. One of the biggest mistakes a couple can make is believing that their predictability makes up for the loss of intimacy or excitement they used to feel together.[1] Why? Because this boredom increases your chances of losing the love between you.

When a couple starts to settle for feeling safe and secure, they believe nothing in the world can tear them apart. And this sense of confidence means they often stop putting effort into their relationship. Instead, their shared life becomes automatic, occurring without too much thought or investment and becoming indifferent. The last thing you want is to be in an indifferent romantic relationship. With indifference comes a whole slew of other feelings like annoyance and irritation, which in turn, prompts arguments.[2]

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Don’t allow this to happen to you and your significant other.

How to Prevent Boredom in Your Relationship

So, what can you do to avoid boredom in your relationship? Here are some great ideas to spark the passion and excitement:

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Try Something New Together

There’s nothing better for breaking up monotony than doing something new together. Do you two love taking pictures? Take a photography class together. Do you usually go hiking on the weekends? Throw a zipline or paragliding session into the mix. Research indicates that trying new activities is a great way to beat boredom.

Make a Plan for the Future

No, you don’t have to plan where you’ll buy your house or how many kids you’ll have if you’re not ready for that sort of conversation. You can, however, plan a weekend getaway or a vacation for a few months down the road. Making a plan gives you something to look forward to, which helps fight boredom. According to life coach Kelly Rogers, making plans for the future gives your relationship a little adrenaline rush, making you feel a sense of appreciation for each other.[3]

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Establish a Date Night

In your everyday, mundane life together, it can be easy to forget to make the two of you a priority. Establishing a mandatory date night is a wonderful way to bring you and your significant other together for some quality time. Melanie Schilling, a relationship psychologist, claims that date nights are actually critical to relationship health.[4] Set something specific to do together as often as your schedule allows. It doesn’t have to be dinner at an expensive restaurant either. You can plan a “no cell phone” night, a walk at the park, or even try to recreate one of your first dates together.

Remember to Say “I Love You”

Don’t forget to remind your partner why you are together, especially when boredom creeps its head between you two. Simple things like saying, “I love you” or letting them know how much you appreciate them can help you keep the romance alive in your relationship. Try to think about the happy memories the two of you have shared; it can be far too easy to dwell on the problems. Remembering why and how much you love your significant other is a great way to forget about any boredom you thought you were feeling.

Reference

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