Advertising
Advertising

It’s Normal: Every Child Would Find the Parent of the Opposite Sex Attractive at Certain Stage

It’s Normal:  Every Child Would Find the Parent of the Opposite Sex Attractive at Certain Stage

“Mom, I love you. I want to marry you,” your three-year-old son says, planting a kiss on your cheek. Your heart melts. Then your husband comes home and that same endearing little boy launches an angry campaign against him, all the while sweetly holding your hand. Has your son suddenly become a tyrant with a split-personality disorder?

Relax. He’s simply displaying an Oedipus complex – an essential developmental phase every child goes through. The Oedipus complex is a normal childhood stage of psychological development that occurs between the ages of 3 to 5. This phase comes after your child has partially detached themselves from you, setting out to find his own identity. He tends to develop a deep affection — and even physical attraction — towards the parent of the opposite sex and a rivalry towards the same-sex parent.

The Origin of the Term “Oedipus Complex”

Psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud coined the term “Oedipus complex” after the play Oedipus Rex, written by Sophocles in 429 B.C. In this Greek tragedy, the king of Thebes is told by an oracle that his son Oedipus will kill him. As a result, his wife deserts baby Oedipus on a mountain to die. Unbeknownst to them, the baby is rescued and raised by the King of Corinth.

Advertising

When Oedipus becomes a man, he is told by an oracle that he will kill his father and sire kids with his mother. To avoid this horror, he leaves Corinth and the people he believes to be his parents, and heads to Thebes where he meets the Thebian king (his biological dad) and kills him in a fight. He goes to the palace and wins the hand of the widowed queen (his biological mom) and marries her.

It’s totally accidental. Oedipus is not a bad guy. He ran from the “kill Dad and marry Mom” idea. When they learn that Oedipus is actually the queen’s son, she hangs herself. Oedipus finds her and with shame and guilt, he blinds himself and wanders thereafter as a tormented soul.

Recognizing the Signs of Oedipus Complex Phase in Your Child

Freud asserts that the Oedipus complex stage is a natural phase and avoidance of this crucial stage could prove detrimental to a child’s psychological development.

Advertising

How do you know if your child has entered this stage? There are signs you can spot.[1]

  • Deep affection for opposite sex parent: Your child may become overly loving and even try to kiss you “like daddy does.” He may demand constant attention — only Mom’s.
  • Indifference or harsh attitude to same-sex parent: He may become mean towards his dad and act out when he’s around. He may resort to the silent treatment around his father. It may seem like he doesn’t love his dad at all.
  • Jealousy of a possessive nature: Your child will exhibit a possessive nature towards Mom. He may get angry when Dad tries to show affection to Mom and when Mom shows affection for Dad! During this phase the child wants Mom for himself.

The Psychology That Causes Oedipus Complex

The boy focuses his affections on his mother because she is his caregiver. When his feelings become powerful and overwhelming — an infantile sexual awakening — he becomes aware of the difference between male and female. He takes note of the relationship between his father and mother and views his dad as his rival. He becomes possessive of his mother and jealous of his father.

The Appropriate Attitude of Parents

This is a natural process. Richard Boyd of the Energetics Institute says that it’s the parents’ responsibility to be aware that this is a normal stage of development. During that time, it is essential that “a child should not be rejected, used, punished, or shamed for having natural impulses of the heart and sexuality.”

Advertising

While it would be good if you could sit down and have a heart-to-heart with your child about this topic, at ages three to five it is doubtful he would listen or comprehend the subject, let alone sit still that long. Instead, try these tactics:

  • Love your child unconditionally, even if you are the dad and suffering the brunt of your child’s jealousies.
  • Don’t criticize, tease or shame your child for exhibiting these behaviors.
  • If your child crosses a boundary that you feel uncomfortable with (such as trying to kiss like Daddy), divert and redirect his attention elsewhere.
  • Remember that you are dealing with a young child.
  • Know that this is only a phase and it will pass. Be stoic and hang in there!

Exiting the Oedipus Complex Phase

Your child is traveling through this stage of development in order to learn his own sexual identity. When your child reaches the end of this phase, he abandons his sexual attraction towards his mother and begins to identify more with his father, stepping down to let his father win their rivalry. At this time, the father begins to bond more with the child, aiding the development of his masculinity.

Oedipus Complex Is a Natural Stage of Growth for Both Boys and Girls

Young girls do not by-pass this phase. They go through a similar stage in development called the “Elektra complex”, based on another tragic Greek tale.

Advertising

It is imperative that all children successfully pass through this stage of development in childhood. Repercussions from punishments and criticisms during the phase can lead to psychological problems in adulthood. It’s far easier to face the overt affections of a 3-year-old than surmount the troubles of a 35-year-old!

Reference

[1] Changing Minds: Oedipus Complex

More by this author

Sally White

writer, artist & blogger

There are 5 stages of love, but sadly most couples stop at stage 3 There Are 5 Stages Of Love, But Sadly Many Couples Stop At Stage 3 40+ Quotes To Read When Everything Appears To Be Going Wrong In Your Life This Innocent Little Comment on a Child’s Drawing Can Kill Their Creativity Why the Less Your Children Have, the More Successful They Will Be in the Future Is Attachment Parenting a Good or Bad Thing for My Children?

Trending in Family

1 What Happened to Family Dinners? Why We Should Bring Them Back 2 How to Cope with Empty Nest Syndrome and Stop Feeling Lonely 3 How Not to Let Work Take Priority over Spending Time With Family 4 35 Life Hacks for Kids That Make Parenting Easier And More Fun 5 20 Things to Remember If You Love a Person with ADD

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on June 24, 2019

15 Easy-to-Make Crockpot Freezer Meals for Busy Nights

15 Easy-to-Make Crockpot Freezer Meals for Busy Nights

You work all day, and you come home exhausted and hungry. Naturally, the last thing you want to do is to spend hours in the kitchen cooking dinner. If you love cooking, but your busy schedule doesn’t allow you to cook every night, you can simplify your life by making crockpot freezer meals. These meals will allow you to still eat homemade, healthy, filling dinners without the countless hours and enormous effort spent in the kitchen. You can store the simple ingredients in freezer bags and put them in the crockpot when it is time for dinner, or you can cook over the weekend and stock your freezer with delicious ready meals that will make your life easier. Here are 15 easy-to-make recipes to make delicious dinners for busy nights!

1. Cheesy Tortellini With Ground Beef

Cheesy tortellini with ground beef

    This is a perfect crockpot freezer meal that even your kids will love. The best thing of all is that it’s incredibly easy to prepare. All you have to do is crumble some ground beef and combine all the recipe’s ingredients in your crockpot. The other ingredients needed for this super delicious meal include tomatoes, herbs, and onions. Tortellini is one of the most commonly ordered meals when eating out, but this way you will get to eat a homemade, healthier version of the popular dish. Find the recipe here.

    2. Cranberry Pork Roast

    Cranberry pork roast

      Cranberry pork roast is a gluten-free meal that everyone can make, regardless of their culinary skills. The dish requires only these few ingredients: onion, cranberry sauce, bone-in pork shoulder, and honey. To prepare this mouthwatering dish, simply combine all the ingredients together in the crockpot and let them cook. If you don’t like pork or if you prefer not to eat it, you can easily use beef as a substitute without impacting the flavor. Click here to see the recipe.

      3. Greens and Beans

      Greens and beans

        Greens and beans are the ideal dishes if you want a dish that is both delicious and nutrient-dense. Combine vegetable broth with beans, garlic, kale, escalore, and Parmesan, and let cook. The result will be a dish with a soup-like consistency that will fill you up and provide you with a lot of vitamins and minerals.

        Advertising

        As a bonus, if you or someone else in your family suffer from rheumatoid arthritis or some other common types of arthritis, greens and beans can reduce the inflammation. That’s because kale and other veggies rich in Vitamin K are anti-inflammatory and are known for relieving arthritis. Click here and start cooking!

        4. Chicken Curry

        Chicken curry

          That is yet another gluten-free recipe that you’ll love to make. Chicken curry requires basic ingredients such as tomato paste, coconut milk, honey, onions, and garlic, in addition to chicken and curry of course.The result is a sweet and spicy dish where different flavors are perfectly balanced. Find the recipe here.

          5. Honey Sesame Chicken

          Honey sesame chicken

            Honey sesame chicken is a simple and effortless dish that delivers an amazing taste. To make this wonderful recipe, you have to combine all the ingredients except for the sesame seeds and green onions and let them cook. Use the sesame seeds and green onions for garnish when serving. Click here for the full recipe.

            6. Mushroom Spinach Stroganoff

            Mushroom spinach stroganoff

              In this warm weather, many people opt to eat lighter food that is easy on the stomach. Mushroom spinach stroganoff fits the bill being a vegetable version of a famous comfort food that you and your family will love. The dish requires simple ingredients such as sour cream, onion, garlic, ketchup, vegetables, and mushrooms. This dish is very simple to make, and thanks to your crockpot, you won’t have much work to do. Find the recipe here.

              Advertising

              7. Stuffed Peppers

              Stuffed peppers

                If you’re looking for a healthy, simple, and delicious recipe, you’ll love this one! These crockpot stuffed peppers are easy to make, and they require only a few ingredients such as ground turkey or beef, onion, garlic, bell peppers, and pasta sauce. This meal will remind you of grandma’s kitchen. You can find the recipe here.

                8. Cilantro and Lime Chicken

                Cilantro and lime chicken

                  Summer is the perfect season to experiment with more exotic flavors, and this meal can help you do just that. To make cilantro and lime chicken, you will need to combine some simple ingredients such as lime, jalapeno peppers, fresh cilantro, and salsa. The result is chicken that is super tender and that you’ll want to make over and over again, so get the recipe here.

                  9. Beef Fajitas

                  Beef fajitas

                    This is an excellent meal for busy weeknights. The best thing about this recipe is that the required ingredients are probably already there in your kitchen. The recipe is also quite simple — combine all the items in a crockpot, cover, and let cook.

                    The result will be beef and peppers that melt in your mouth. You can easily pair this beef fajita with rice and tortillas and get a meal that the entire family will love. You can find the recipe for this delicious beef fajita here.

                    Advertising

                    10. Asian Chicken Lettuce Wraps

                    Asian chicken lettuce wraps

                      Asian chicken lettuce wraps are sweet, slightly salty and very easy to make. All you need to do is add the chicken, red bell pepper, carrots, soy sauce, honey, garlic and the other ingredients to your crockpot and let them cook. You can also replace the chicken with beef or turkey if you like. The presence of different flavors gives this meal a summer flavor you are sure to love. Learn how to make this meal here.

                      11. Hawaiian Chicken

                      Hawaiian chicken

                        This dish enjoys phenomenal exotic tones due to pineapple and lemon flavors. To make this yummy crockpot freezer meal, you need skinless chicken breasts, peppers, ginger and corn starch, in addition to the iconic pineapple and lemon. Learn how to make this perfect summer dinner here.

                        12. Beef and Barley Stew

                        Beef and barley stewd

                          Beef and barley stew is as healthy as it is delicious. Not to mention it’s incredibly easy to make. Besides the beef and barley, you’ll also need carrots, peppers, herbs and beef broth. The result will be a mouthwatering stew that you can serve alone or over white rice. Get the recipe here.

                          13. Meatball Soup

                          Advertising

                          Meatball soup

                            This soup is very delicious, easy to make and quite versatile. You will be able to swap ingredients and experiment to find your perfect combination. To make this meatball soup, you will need to combine meatballs with pasta sauce, chicken broth, carrots, beans, zucchini, and onion. You can view the recipe here.

                            14. Turkey Black Bean Chili

                            Turkey black bean chili

                              Everybody loves chili and for good reason — it’s very delicious, and it’s a perfect combination of different flavors that balance each other out. To make this chili, you’ll need ground turkey, tomato sauce, black beans, paprika, frozen corns, and a few other ingredients. You can get the full recipe here and have this delicious dish ready when you come back from work on those busy nights.

                              15. Ham and Pinto Bean Soup

                              Ham and pinto bean soup

                                What makes soups special is the fact they’re tasty, healthy and filling at the same time. This soup is no exception. The best quality of this ham and pinto bean soup, however, is its simplicity; it requires only five ingredients: ham, beans, ketchup, salt, and water. Learn how to make this soup here.

                                Conclusion

                                With a demanding work week and a busy schedule, it’s normal to have a low energy level by the time you get home. If you don’t feel like standing in the kitchen and cooking dinner due to this, you don’t have to resort to junk food. These freezer crockpot meals offer you the perfect solution for healthy meals that require minimal preparation. You can either combine each recipe’s ingredients in a freezer bag to be thawed and cooked in a few minutes, or you can cook your meal and freeze it to be used later, it’s up to you.

                                This article showed you 15 easy and simple recipes that you can make using your crockpot. All of these recipes contain anti-inflammatory foods whether it is in the form of vegetable, herbs or spices to improve your overall health and wellbeing.

                                Featured photo credit: Google via bettycrocker.com

                                Read Next