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Signs Of Manipulators You Might Not Be Aware Of

Signs Of Manipulators You Might Not Be Aware Of

“If you are an approval addict, your behavior is as easy to control as that of any other junkie. All a manipulator needs to do is a simple two-step process: give you what you crave, and then threaten to take it away. Every drug dealer in the world plays this game.”

― Harriet B. Braiker

All of us have encountered a manipulator at some point in our lives. Remember that “something” you didn’t want to buy, but had to because someone convinced you? Yes, there is a good chance of that someone being a manipulator.

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Manipulation is a dirty game. You never know what is going on in a manipulator’s head, and you have no idea what they can make you believe. Psychology defines manipulation as an act of exercising unjustified control over someone by mental misrepresentation or emotional abuse with malice aforethought of taking power, advantages, and favors, all at the cost of the prey.

How does a manipulator succeed in doing what they do?

Manipulation is not like social influence. Social influence is a process of being inspired by those around us. It is the foundation of constructive relationships. It’s best to detect them and stay away from them!

What set manipulators apart from normal people are their modus operandi :

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Detect: It’s like a superpower. Manipulators can detect weakness, and they know exactly how to use it.

Advantage: Once they understand what makes you vulnerable, they will weaponize it against you.

Convince: They have amazing convincing abilities. They will have you at their feet because they’ve convinced you to give something up for their selfish interest.

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Repeat: Success reinforces the high spirits of manipulators, and they will repeat their actions until you identify and eliminate them.

How to spot a manipulator?

You can find manipulators on any page of your life: Work, Home or Love. The scary part is that they are very cunning. If you suspect that you are dealing with a manipulator, it’s time to be sure and get rid of them for the better.

Characteristics of a typical manipulator

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  1. Sympathy seeker: Manipulators are great at playing the “victim”, and they have no realization of responsibility. They live with the feeling that the world has done them wrong. They utilize the “sorry” feeling of people to get anything they want from them.
  2. Guilt tripper: They are excellent at making you feel guilty for crimes that you didn’t commit. You may even feel that you’re in the wrong after they’ve pressed your insecurities.
  3. Passive aggressive: Manipulators just don’t want to lose an argument. They will use anything and everything against you to win it. If you are unhappy about something, they will do their magic of word twist and convince you it is their reaction to what you previously did. With a manipulator, the fault will always be yours.
  4. Fake helper: They will try their best to help you when you are in need. In fact, they will go to great lengths to ensure that everybody knows about their favor. But don’t be fooled, they do this just to make sure that you have no choice but to help them when they need help. They can ask for anything, and they don’t care how valuable it may be to you or what you will have to do to get it.
  5. Always right: No matter how good you are at debating, you can’t win against a manipulator. They will never stop arguing because they are never wrong. If you are not a fan of argument, it’s a guarantee that you will never win with them.

How to stop a manipulator

Now that you know what you’re dealing with, it’s time to stop them. Getting rid of manipulators isn’t always easy, especially when the manipulator is someone close to you. But trust me, only your withdrawal is going to change them.

Realize that you don’t need to stay in a toxic friendship or relationship unwillingly. Understand your basic human rights and don’t let anybody convince you to go against them. Learn to be straightforward without being rude, and remember that you have the right to say “no”.

You deserve to be free from manipulation. There are numerous scientifically proven ways to handle a manipulator successfully, and they can save you from the personal violation that is manipulation.

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Shikha Prasoon

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Last Updated on August 16, 2018

10 Ways To Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone And Enjoy Taking Risks

10 Ways To Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone And Enjoy Taking Risks

The ability to take risks by stepping outside your comfort zone is the primary way by which we grow. But we are often afraid to take that first step.

In truth, comfort zones are not really about comfort, they are about fear. Break the chains of fear to get outside. Once you do, you will learn to enjoy the process of taking risks and growing in the process.

Here are 10 ways to help you step out of your comfort zone and get closer to success:

1. Become aware of what’s outside of your comfort zone

What are the things that you believe are worth doing but are afraid of doing yourself because of the potential for disappointment or failure?

Draw a circle and write those things down outside the circle. This process will not only allow you to clearly identify your discomforts, but your comforts. Write identified comforts inside the circle.

2. Become clear about what you are aiming to overcome

Take the list of discomforts and go deeper. Remember, the primary emotion you are trying to overcome is fear.

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How does this fear apply uniquely to each situation? Be very specific.

Are you afraid of walking up to people and introducing yourself in social situations? Why? Is it because you are insecure about the sound of your voice? Are you insecure about your looks?

Or, are you afraid of being ignored?

3. Get comfortable with discomfort

One way to get outside of your comfort zone is to literally expand it. Make it a goal to avoid running away from discomfort.

Let’s stay with the theme of meeting people in social settings. If you start feeling a little panicked when talking to someone you’ve just met, try to stay with it a little longer than you normally would before retreating to comfort. If you stay long enough and practice often enough, it will start to become less uncomfortable.

4. See failure as a teacher

Many of us are so afraid of failure that we would rather do nothing than take a shot at our dreams.

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Begin to treat failure as a teacher. What did you learn from the experience? How can you take that lesson to your next adventure to increase your chance of success?

Many highly successful people failed plenty of times before they succeeded. Here’re some examples:

10 Famous Failures to Success Stories That Will Inspire You to Carry On

5. Take baby steps

Don’t try to jump outside your comfort zone, you will likely become overwhelmed and jump right back in.

Take small steps toward the fear you are trying to overcome. If you want to do public speaking, start by taking every opportunity to speak to small groups of people. You can even practice with family and friends.

Take a look at this article on how you can start taking baby steps:

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The Number One Secret to Life Success: Baby Steps

6. Hang out with risk takers

There is no substitute for this step. If you want to become better at something, you must start hanging out with the people who are doing what you want to do and start emulating them. (Here’re 8 Reasons Why Risk Takers Are More Likely To Be Successful).

Almost inevitably, their influence will start have an effect on your behavior.

7. Be honest with yourself when you are trying to make excuses

Don’t say “Oh, I just don’t have the time for this right now.” Instead, be honest and say “I am afraid to do this.”

Don’t make excuses, just be honest. You will be in a better place to confront what is truly bothering you and increase your chance of moving forward.

8. Identify how stepping out will benefit you

What will the ability to engage in public speaking do for your personal and professional growth? Keep these potential benefits in mind as motivations to push through fear.

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9. Don’t take yourself too seriously

Learn to laugh at yourself when you make mistakes. Risk taking will inevitably involve failure and setbacks that will sometimes make you look foolish to others. Be happy to roll with the punches when others poke fun.

If you aren’t convinced yet, check out these 6 Reasons Not to Take Life So Seriously.

10. Focus on the fun

Enjoy the process of stepping outside your safe boundaries. Enjoy the fun of discovering things about yourself that you may not have been aware of previously.

Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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