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Signs Of Manipulators You Might Not Be Aware Of

Signs Of Manipulators You Might Not Be Aware Of

“If you are an approval addict, your behavior is as easy to control as that of any other junkie. All a manipulator needs to do is a simple two-step process: give you what you crave, and then threaten to take it away. Every drug dealer in the world plays this game.”

― Harriet B. Braiker

All of us have encountered a manipulator at some point in our lives. Remember that “something” you didn’t want to buy, but had to because someone convinced you? Yes, there is a good chance of that someone being a manipulator.

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Manipulation is a dirty game. You never know what is going on in a manipulator’s head, and you have no idea what they can make you believe. Psychology defines manipulation as an act of exercising unjustified control over someone by mental misrepresentation or emotional abuse with malice aforethought of taking power, advantages, and favors, all at the cost of the prey.

How does a manipulator succeed in doing what they do?

Manipulation is not like social influence. Social influence is a process of being inspired by those around us. It is the foundation of constructive relationships. It’s best to detect them and stay away from them!

What set manipulators apart from normal people are their modus operandi :

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Detect: It’s like a superpower. Manipulators can detect weakness, and they know exactly how to use it.

Advantage: Once they understand what makes you vulnerable, they will weaponize it against you.

Convince: They have amazing convincing abilities. They will have you at their feet because they’ve convinced you to give something up for their selfish interest.

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Repeat: Success reinforces the high spirits of manipulators, and they will repeat their actions until you identify and eliminate them.

How to spot a manipulator?

You can find manipulators on any page of your life: Work, Home or Love. The scary part is that they are very cunning. If you suspect that you are dealing with a manipulator, it’s time to be sure and get rid of them for the better.

Characteristics of a typical manipulator

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  1. Sympathy seeker: Manipulators are great at playing the “victim”, and they have no realization of responsibility. They live with the feeling that the world has done them wrong. They utilize the “sorry” feeling of people to get anything they want from them.
  2. Guilt tripper: They are excellent at making you feel guilty for crimes that you didn’t commit. You may even feel that you’re in the wrong after they’ve pressed your insecurities.
  3. Passive aggressive: Manipulators just don’t want to lose an argument. They will use anything and everything against you to win it. If you are unhappy about something, they will do their magic of word twist and convince you it is their reaction to what you previously did. With a manipulator, the fault will always be yours.
  4. Fake helper: They will try their best to help you when you are in need. In fact, they will go to great lengths to ensure that everybody knows about their favor. But don’t be fooled, they do this just to make sure that you have no choice but to help them when they need help. They can ask for anything, and they don’t care how valuable it may be to you or what you will have to do to get it.
  5. Always right: No matter how good you are at debating, you can’t win against a manipulator. They will never stop arguing because they are never wrong. If you are not a fan of argument, it’s a guarantee that you will never win with them.

How to stop a manipulator

Now that you know what you’re dealing with, it’s time to stop them. Getting rid of manipulators isn’t always easy, especially when the manipulator is someone close to you. But trust me, only your withdrawal is going to change them.

Realize that you don’t need to stay in a toxic friendship or relationship unwillingly. Understand your basic human rights and don’t let anybody convince you to go against them. Learn to be straightforward without being rude, and remember that you have the right to say “no”.

You deserve to be free from manipulation. There are numerous scientifically proven ways to handle a manipulator successfully, and they can save you from the personal violation that is manipulation.

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Shikha Prasoon

Content Writer

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Last Updated on January 21, 2020

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

If I was a super hero I’d want my super power to be the ability to motivate everyone around me. Think of how many problems you could solve just by being able to motivate people towards their goals. You wouldn’t be frustrated by lazy co-workers. You wouldn’t be mad at your partner for wasting the weekend in front of the TV. Also, the more people around you are motivated toward their dreams, the more you can capitalize off their successes.

Being able to motivate people is key to your success at work, at home, and in the future because no one can achieve anything alone. We all need the help of others.

So, how to motivate people? Here are 7 ways to motivate others even you can do.

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1. Listen

Most people start out trying to motivate someone by giving them a lengthy speech, but this rarely works because motivation has to start inside others. The best way to motivate others is to start by listening to what they want to do. Find out what the person’s goals and dreams are. If it’s something you want to encourage, then continue through these steps.

2. Ask Open-Ended Questions

Open-ended questions are the best way to figure out what someone’s dreams are. If you can’t think of anything to ask, start with, “What have you always wanted to do?”

“Why do you want to do that?”

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“What makes you so excited about it?”

“How long has that been your dream?”

You need this information the help you with the following steps.

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3. Encourage

This is the most important step, because starting a dream is scary. People are so scared they will fail or look stupid, many never try to reach their goals, so this is where you come in. You must encourage them. Say things like, “I think you will be great at that.” Better yet, say, “I think your skills in X will help you succeed.” For example if you have a friend who wants to own a pet store, say, “You are so great with animals, I think you will be excellent at running a pet store.”

4. Ask About What the First Step Will Be

After you’ve encouraged them, find how they will start. If they don’t know, you can make suggestions, but it’s better to let the person figure out the first step themselves so they can be committed to the process.

5. Dream

This is the most fun step, because you can dream about success. Say things like, “Wouldn’t it be cool if your business took off, and you didn’t have to work at that job you hate?” By allowing others to dream, you solidify the motivation in place and connect their dreams to a future reality.

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6. Ask How You Can Help

Most of the time, others won’t need anything from you, but it’s always good to offer. Just letting the person know you’re there will help motivate them to start. And, who knows, maybe your skills can help.

7. Follow Up

Periodically, over the course of the next year, ask them how their goal is going. This way you can find out what progress has been made. You may need to do the seven steps again, or they may need motivation in another area of their life.

Final Thoughts

By following these seven steps, you’ll be able to encourage the people around you to achieve their dreams and goals. In return, you’ll be more passionate about getting to your goals, you’ll be surrounded by successful people, and others will want to help you reach your dreams …

Oh, and you’ll become a motivational super hero. Time to get a cape!

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Featured photo credit: Thought Catalog via unsplash.com

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