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I Dread Picking Up Your Call, But It Doesn’t Mean I Don’t Like You

I Dread Picking Up Your Call, But It Doesn’t Mean I Don’t Like You

It was 11p.m. and I was typing a message to my best friend. Suddenly, a sense of terror crept into my mind, and a wave of nausea filled my stomach. I immediately threw my phone on my bed and tried to cover it with my pillow. I just didn’t dare to watch what’s shown on it…

Thinking it’s the beginning of a thriller? Nonono… You’re just too imaginative. It’s just my best friend calling.

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My description might be a bit too dramatic. But what’s sure is I feel sick whenever my phone rings. Don’t get me wrong. I love my family and friends and welcome them to contact me. What I dread is the idea of talking on the phone. You must be familiar with claustrophobia, cockroach phobia and even aqua phobia. So why can’t you accept that some people really suffer from phone phobia?

To stop the anxiety, that’s what I tell my loved ones–Please message me instead of calling unless there’s something urgent. Of course, talking on the phone is acceptable to me sometimes. Just you need to message me about that so I can feel prepared. And I will make my points here.

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Phone calls interrupt the tempo of our lives

We’re living in a hectic world. Our schedules are packed with loads of tasks. That’s why we find messaging tools the greatest invention of the age. They allow us to keep distractions away and get back to our family and friends when we have time.

But phone calls are the opposite case. They are intrusive, forcing you to put away what you’re doing to talk to the person who calls. There are countless times that phone calls interrupt my work and thinking, and I need to spend much time to regain my productivity, which is frustrating.

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Sometimes, we just want to avoid awkward moments

Phone calls sometimes create unnecessary embarrassing and awkward moments. Communication over the phone is instant. If you say something wrong, you can’t take it back. There was a time my girl friend sent me a photo of a dress she just bought and asked how I felt about it. Without a second thought, I replied that the patterns on the dress was like those on the wallpaper of my aunt’s home. What came afterwards was a DEAD silence. I can still remember how suffocating the silence was back then.

Other than such kind of disaster, you must have experienced moments when you and your friend on the other side of the phone can’t think of anything interesting to talk. But both of you feel embarrassed to end the conversation. Communication through messaging tools saves us from these awkward moments as we can have more time to think of better responses.

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Phone calls steal time from us unknowingly

Let’s admit it, talking on the phone is not an effective way of communication. Unless you allow yourself to give meaningless responses to your friends, talking on the phone takes much energy. You can hardly do other things like watching videos of your favourite Youtube channels and completing tasks with approaching deadlines. The usual case is when you hang up the phone, a few hours have passed, and sometimes unfortunately, wasted.

I’m not saying we should completely replace phone calls with messages when we contact our loved ones. Listening to their voices is what we need sometimes. I just hope more people can understand that some of us do feel anxious when our phone rings and why we feel in that way. Don’t be mistaken that your friend doesn’t answer to your call because he or she doesn’t like you. There are many ways of communication today. Pick the one that makes both of you feel comfortable and stay connected!

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Ricky Tang

Editor. Movie Lover. Amateur Singer.

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Last Updated on October 22, 2019

How to Get “I Can’t Do It” Out of Your Vocabulary

How to Get “I Can’t Do It” Out of Your Vocabulary

When someone says, “I can’t do it” . . . I say to myself, “What do you mean you can’t do it?” Maybe you don’t want to do it, but saying you “can’t” do it is a completely different story.

With the right mindset, positive attitude, and a clear vision of what you want to accomplish, the only thing that is holding you back is yourself.

Can’t is a terrible word and it has to be taken out of your vocabulary.

By saying you can’t do something, you’re already doubting yourself, submitting to defeat, and you’re making that barrier around your life tighter.

So today, right now, we are going to remove this word for good.

From now on there is nothing we can’t do.

“Attitude is Tattoo”

Your attitude is everything; it’s your reason, your why and how, your facial expression, emotions, body language, and potentially the end result. How you approach an opportunity, and the result of it, is solely based on you — not your boss or your co-worker or friend.

If you enter a business meeting with a sour attitude, that negative energy can spread like wildfire. People can also feel it — maybe even taste it. This is not an impression you want to leave.

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Now imagine you enter a business meeting with a positive attitude, that whatever happens in here is going to be your result, in your control, not someone else’s. Of course, we can’t always win, but even if the outcome is negative, your attitude and perception can turn it into a positive. The question is: can you do it?

Of course you can, because there is nothing in this world you can’t do.

It’s much better to be known for your positive attitude — your poise, your energy, the reason why things go so well because you are able to maintain such character. A negative attitude is easy. It’s easy to complain, it’s easy to be mad, and it’s even easier to do nothing to change it.

When I say your “attitude is tattoo”, it sounds permanent. Tattoos can be removed, but that’s not the point. Your attitude is like a tattoo because you wear it. People can see it and sometimes, they will judge you on it. If you maintain a negative attitude, then it is permanent until you change it.

Change your attitude and I guarantee the results change as well.

Believe You Can Do It

Do you know why most people say “can’t” and doubt themselves before trying anything?

It’s our lack of self-confidence and fear on many different levels. The one thing we have to purge from ourselves is fear — fear of bad results, fear of change, fear of denial, fear of loss, the fear that makes us worry and lose sleep. Worrying is the same as going outside with an umbrella, waiting for rain to hit it. Stop worrying and move on.

Confidence is fragile: It builds up slowly, but can shatter like glass. Project your confidence and energy into believing in yourself. This is a very important and groundbreaking step — one that is usually the hardest to take. Start telling yourself you can do something, anything, and you will do it the best to your ability. Remove doubt, remove fear, and stick with positive energy.

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Embrace Failure

Do not fear failure. Do not run away from it. Face it, learn from it, grow, and take action. Just remember: You will never know success if you have never failed.

Your confidence will bolster after embracing these facts. You will be immune to demoralizing results, and instead you will find ways to fix it, improve upon it, and make it better than before. You will learn to never say “can’t,” and will realize how many more opportunities you can create by removing that one word.

Don’t let one simple and ugly word plague your confidence. You’re better and stronger than that.

Start Making the Change

But to actually start the process of change is very challenging.

Why is that?

Fear? Time? Don’t know how — or where — to start?

It’s hard because what we’re doing is unlearning what we know. We are used to doing things a certain way, and chances are we’ve been doing them for years.

So here are some ways that I avoid using the word “can’t”, and actually take the steps to put forth the change that I wish to see. I hope you can incorporate these methods into your life.

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Write down What You Want to Change

Write it on post-its, notecards, whatever makes you comfortable — something you will always see. I usually write mine on post-its and put them all over the wall behind my monitor so I always see them.

Tell a Friend and Talk About It

Discussing your goals, what you want to change, is very effective when you say it out loud and tell another person other than yourself. It’s almost like saying, hey, I bet I can do it — watch me.

When you fulfill that goal and tell your friend, it feels rewarding and will motivate you to do it again in a different aspect. Who knows? Maybe your friend adopts the same mindset as you.

Stop Yourself from Saying the Forbidden Word

Sometimes,I can’t control myself in public when I’m with friends, so I have to be careful with the words I use so I don’t embarrass or insult anyone.

Treat the word “can’t” as the worst word you can possibly use. Stop yourself from saying it, mid-sentence if you must, and turn your whole perspective around — you can do it, you will do it, and nothing is impossible!

Repetition, Repetition, Repetition

You think this change will be overnight? No way. This is a practice. Something you’re going to be doing for the rest of your life from now until forever.

As I said earlier, you are unlearning what you know. You know how easy it is to say you can’t do something, so by unlearning this easy practice, you’re self-disciplining yourself to live without boundaries.

Practice this everyday, a little at a time, and before you know it, the word can’t will not be part of your language.

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Do Anything That Can Relieve Your Uncertainty

When I catch myself saying I can’t do something or I don’t know something, looking up information on that action or subject, doing research, educating yourself, relieves that uncertainty.

Sometimes, we think we can’t do something because the whole idea of it seems too large. We skip the small steps in our head and only focus on the end.

Before you say you can’t do something, rewind and slow down a little bit. Focus on what the first step is, then the next. Take it a step at a time, and before you know it you will have done something you previously thought you couldn’t do.

Final Thoughts

You know what you must do. The first step is right now. Once you begin this habit, and really start noticing some change, you’ll realize the door to opportunity is everywhere.

The funny thing is: Those doors have always been there. The evil word that we no longer use put a veil over our eyes because that’s how powerful that word is.

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Featured photo credit: Cata via unsplash.com

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