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You Don’t Need To Pay A 30-Year Home Mortgage. You Need A Third Place To Feel Rested.

You Don’t Need To Pay A 30-Year Home Mortgage. You Need A Third Place To Feel Rested.

What’s better in life to have such a cozy home and office? Just a glance at the picture already makes you feel good, right?

    Most of us spend over 80% of our time at home and in the office. It seems the environments of these two places largely affect our happiness and mental health.

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    But what if I told you actually you don’t need to spend a large sum of money for an ambient flat or hop from job to job for a pleasant workplace?

    Then you may ask “What other place do I need instead?”

    You need a third place. Having a balanced life is as simple as that!

    Have you ever wondered why you felt relaxed or uplifted when you’re in cafes, bars or recreation centers? These are the examples of third places suggested by Ray Oldenburg, an American urban sociologist, in his book The Great Place.[1]

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    While the home and the workplace are defined by Oldenburg as the first place and the second place, the third place means the public area which allows us to gather and have social interactions with others.

    When Oldenburg introduced this concept in 1989, he only focused on exploring how the third place helps bring a community together. But a recent study conducted by Dr. Adam Fraser and Deakin University has found that people who visit their third places often have better work-life balance than those who confine their lives to their homes and their workplace.[2]

    The reason for this is that they do not only pack their daily schedules with obligations from family and work, but know how to appreciate the little moments in life. In other words, they master the art of living in the present.

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    The third place makes you mentally stronger and more productive

    What’s more surprising is that the study also found that people with their own third places are more resilient and better at dealing with difficult times. Spending time in coffee shops or bars helps them shake off the negative emotions coming from other aspects of their lives.[3]

    Even if you’re not the ones who like socialising with strangers, finding your third place still benefit you a lot. Research has shown that everything in coffee shops – the noise, the lighting and the dynamics – creates a favorable environment to boost your creativity and concentration level! That’s why you may find you have more ideas and work faster when you go there alone.[4]

    How to find you own third place when there are so many options

    If you have no idea of how to find your own third place, you can make use of this 3Rs rule to find a suitable one. That’s great if you’ve already had one! But you can still check to see if your third place is good enough or not:

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    Reflect

    Traversing your home and your office every day can be a draining experience. Sometimes, you just wish to have a space to reflect on what you do for a whole day. An ideal third place should enable your mind to get into the tranquil and focused mode so you can think more deeply.

    Rest

    Your body will send the signals when you’re in your ideal third place. Say, your mind and your muscles will be in their most relaxing state. Watching a movie at the theatre, taking a walk in nature, or listening to your favourite songs in your car are all good options. Don’t limit your third place to the definition set by Oldenburg, Time has changed and so the definition should change as well. Finding a place that you feel comfortable when being alone is necessary for you to take a rest from your hectic life.

    Reset

    Finally, an ideal third place does not only make you feel relaxed but also energized. It should give you some stimulation so your life has more colors! For example, I usually go to the restaurant where my favourite band performs every Friday after work. Enjoying the delicious foods and the band show there refreshes my mind and gives me more energy for the challenges ahead. This can hardly be gained at home or at work.

    Tie your shoelaces and look for your third place now. You’ll find that life doesn’t need to be routinised!

    Reference

    More by this author

    Ricky Tang

    Editor. Movie Lover. Amateur Singer.

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    Last Updated on June 19, 2019

    How to Practice Positive Meditation in 2 Simple Steps

    How to Practice Positive Meditation in 2 Simple Steps

    Just by simply spending some effort and time, staying positive every day can be easily achieved. All that is required is a fraction of your time, 10-15 minutes a day to cultivate the positive you!

    But first, what is really positive thinking? Do you have to be in an upbeat, cheerful and enthusiastic mood all day to be positive minded?

    No. Positive thinking simply means the absence of negative thoughts and emotions – in other words, inner peace!

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    When you are truly at peace within yourself, you are naturally thinking positively. You don’t have to fight off negative thoughts, or search desperately for more positive thoughts. It just happens on its own. And here are 2 positive thinking meditation tips to empower you:

    1. Relax as You Meditate

    A powerful, simple yet rarely used technique is meditation. Meditation doesn’t have to take the form of static body posture. It can be as simple as sitting in a comfortable chair listening to soothing music. Or performing relaxation techniques such as deep breathing exercises.

    Meditation is all about letting go of stressful or worrisome thoughts. That’s it! If you spend just a few minutes per day feeling relaxed and peaceful, you automatically shift your mind into a more positive place. When you FEEL more relaxed, you naturally THINK more positively!

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    Start with a short period of time, like 5 or 10 minutes a day. You can meditate first thing in the morning, during your lunch break, right before you go to bed at night, or any time. The most important thing is to consciously let go of unproductive thoughts and feelings. Just let them go for those few minutes, and you may decide not to pick them back up again at all!

    2. Practice Daily Affirmations

    Positive affirmations can be used throughout the day anywhere and at anytime you need them, the more you use them the easier positive thoughts will take over negative ones and you will see benefits happening in your life.

    What are affirmations? Affirmations are statements that are used in a positive present tense language. For example, “Every day, in every way, I’m getting better, better and better” is a popular affirmation used by the late Norman Vincent Peale.

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    So how does one go about using positive affirmations in everyday life? Let’s look at some guidelines to follow when reciting your daily affirmations.

    1. Use first person pronouns in your message (I)
    2. Use present tense (I have)
    3. Use positive messages (I am happy)
    4. Repeat your affirmations on a consistent basis

    Affirmations have to be said with conviction and consistency. Start your day by saying your affirmations out loud. It wouldn’t take more than 5 minutes to repeat your affirmations; yet when done consistently, these positive affirmations will seep into the subconscious mind to cultivate the new positive you.

    Here’s an example of a “success affirmation” you can use on a daily basis:

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    I am successful in everything I do. Every venture I get into returns wealth to me. I am constantly productive. I always perform to the full potential I have and have respect for my abilities.
    My work is always given positive recognition. I augment my income constantly. I always have adequate money for everything I require. I spend my money prudently always. My work is always rewarded.

    You can find more examples here: 10 Positive Affirmations for Success that will Change your Life

    Remember, affirmations work on the basis of conviction and consistency. Do yourself a favor and make a commitment to see this through.

    Begin practicing these positive thinking tips right now. And I wish you continued empowerment and growth on your positive thinking journey.

    More About Positive Thinking

    Featured photo credit: Jacob Townsend via unsplash.com

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