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Want To Live A Stress-Free Life? Make Use Of Your Curiosity In This Way

Want To Live A Stress-Free Life? Make Use Of Your Curiosity In This Way

Ever have so many things on your plate that the thought of having to remember to do just one more thing would make you crazy? Are you struggling to fit in time to make it to the gym and the grocery store? Everyone gets stressed out at times, and it can really affect our quality of life.

How can we keep stress from getting the best of us? Studies show that the way we are affected by stress depends greatly on the way we view the outside world.[1] It’s all about our perception. Stress usually creeps up on us when we feel like what’s happening is out of our control. By simply slowing down to ask ourselves a few questions, we can calmly analyze the situation and get to the root of our anxiety.

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Don’t Just Accept Your Situation—Ask Questions

Stress can come from a variety of external factors. Maybe your car broke down, your hours got cut at your job, or your cable bill went up unexpectedly. Many times, we just accept that the world is against us and continue being tense and unhappy. If we slow down to analyze not just the end result but the path to how we got there, we can get a better idea of how it all came about in the first place.

Ask yourself, what am I feeling? Don’t just lump it all under “stress,” which is not really a feeling. Then ask, what is really making me feel this way, and what could I do right now to make the situation better? It could be that you’ve just trained yourself to feel constantly stressed for no reason. If you’re feeling stressed about money because you went over your budget last month from buying lattes every day, you can figure out the solution pretty easily.

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Find Out Why

 Sometimes you need to go a step further than just asking those three questions. Once you determine how you feel and what is the immediate stressor, you should keep asking questions to get to the root cause.  Why do you always feel pressed for time? Why do you schedule so many things back-to-back? Why did you take on extra projects when you knew you were already busy? Work backward to find out where the stressor originated. You may find that some of your stress could have been prevented, and use that information to keep the same thing from happening again in the future.

Come Up With a Plan 

After you work out your feelings and get to the bottom of where your stress began, you should feel like you have a lot more power in determining how the outside world affects you. You no longer feel like the victim and are empowered to start making changes to things you can control. Don’t do anything drastic. Think of one particular area of your life that is hanging over you, such as your finances. (Money problems alone cause stress for more than ¾ of Americans).[2] Pick one thing you can start doing today to be smarter about your money, such as bringing a lunch to work instead of eating out. Just by asking yourself questions and then taking small, simple actions, you will feel your stress start to dissipate.

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When we’re curious about our situation, rather than being bitter and casting blame, we are able to take the driver’s seat once again and gain control over our stress. Once we feel like we have a say, the negative effects of stress are minimized. We are more willing to take actions toward change and toward reaching our full potential.

Featured photo credit: Photo via Visual Hunt via visualhunt.com

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Reference

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Megan Machucho

Freelance Blogger and Copywriter

Want Your Kids To Be Happy For A Lifetime? Make Them Feel Secure In The Early Days Want To Live A Stress-Free Life? Make Use Of Your Curiosity In This Way If You Want Your Kids To Be Successful, Don’t Protect Them In This Way

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Last Updated on February 15, 2019

Why Is Goal Setting Important to a Truly Fulfilling Life?

Why Is Goal Setting Important to a Truly Fulfilling Life?

In Personal Development-speak, we are always talking about goals, outcomes, success, desires and dreams. In other words, all the stuff we want to do, achieve and create in our world.

And while it’s important for us to know what we want to achieve (our goal), it’s also important for us to understand why we want to achieve it; the reason behind the goal or some would say, our real goal.

Why is goal setting important?

1. Your needs and desire will be fulfilled.

Sometimes when we explore our “why”, (why we want to achieve a certain thing) we realize that our “what” (our goal) might not actually deliver us the thing (feeling, emotion, internal state) we’re really seeking.

For example, the person who has a goal to lose weight in the belief that weight loss will bring them happiness, security, fulfillment, attention, popularity and the partner of their dreams. In this instance, their “what” is weight-loss and their “why” is happiness (etc.) and a partner.

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Six months later, they have lost the weight (achieved their goal) but as is often the case, they’re not happier, not more secure, not more confident, not more fulfilled and in keeping with their miserable state, they have failed to attract their dream partner.

After all, who wants to be with someone who’s miserable? They achieved their practical goal but still failed to have their needs met.

So they set a goal to lose another ten pounds. And then another. And maybe just ten more. With the destructive and erroneous belief that if they can get thin enough, they’ll find their own personal nirvana. And we all know how that story ends.

2. You’ll find out what truly motivates you

The important thing in the process of constructing our best life is not necessarily what goals we set (what we think we want) but what motivates us towards those goals (what we really want).

The sooner we begin to explore, identify and understand what motivates us towards certain achievements, acquisitions or outcomes (that is, we begin moving towards greater consciousness and self awareness), the sooner we will make better decisions for our life, set more intelligent (and dare I say, enlightened) goals and experience more fulfilment and less frustration.

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We all know people who have achieved what they set out to, only to end up in the same place or worse (emotionally, psychologically, sociologically) because what they were chasing wasn’t really what they were needing.

What we think we want will rarely provide us with what we actually need.

3. Your state of mind will be a lot healthier

We all set specific goals to achieve/acquire certain things (a job, a car, a partner, a better body, a bank balance, a title, a victory) because at some level, most of us believe (consciously or not) that the achievement of those goals will bring us what we really seek; joy, fulfilment, happiness, safety, peace, recognition, love, acceptance, respect, connection.

Of course, setting practical, material and financial goals is an intelligent thing to do considering the world we live in and how that world works.

But setting goals with an expectation that the achievement of certain things in our external, physical world will automatically create an internal state of peace, contentment, joy and total happiness is an unhealthy and unrealistic mindset to inhabit.

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What you truly want and need

Sometimes we need to look beyond the obvious (superficial) goals to discover and secure what we really want.

Sadly, we live in a collective mindset which teaches that the prettiest and the wealthiest are the most successful.

Some self-help frauds even teach this message. If you’re rich or pretty, you’re happy. If you’re both, you’re very happy. Pretty isn’t what we really want; it’s what we believe pretty will bring us. Same goes with money.

When we cut through the hype, the jargon and the self-help mumbo jumbo, we all have the same basic goals, desires and needs:

Joy, fulfilment, happiness, safety, peace, recognition, love, acceptance, respect, connection.

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Nobody needs a mansion or a sport’s car but we all need love.

Nobody needs massive pecs, six percent body-fat, a face lift or bigger breasts but we all need connection, acceptance and understanding.

Nobody needs to be famous but we all need peace, calm, balance and happiness.

The problem is, we live in a culture which teaches that one equals the other. If only we lived in a culture which taught that real success is far more about what’s happening in our internal environment, than our external one.

It’s a commonly-held belief that we’re all very different and we all have different goals — whether short term or long term goals. But in many ways we’re not, and we don’t; we all want essentially the same things.

Now all you have to do is see past the fraud and deception and find the right path.

Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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