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The Earlier You Understand Life Is Always Changing, The Happier You Will Be

The Earlier You Understand Life Is Always Changing, The Happier You Will Be

Everybody suffers from a bad day every once in awhile. But, sometimes it seems like there’s no end in sight to the negativity thrown our way. Depending on the situation, it can be downright depressing. Is that how you feel right now? Having a rough day or maybe a rough week? You didn’t get the job you wanted, you and your best friend are fighting, your partner just dumped you…

The list can go on and on. But, that’s what life’s all about. The ups and the downs, just like a roller coaster ride. And even though it doesn’t seem like it now, things will get better. You’ll find happiness again. In fact, there are some things you can do to start feeling happier sooner.

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“Change is the only constant in life.” – Heraclitus

An important life lesson that Buddhism teaches us to hold on to is that life is constantly changing. Remember this when you’re feeling depressed and thinking you’ll never feel happiness again. Now, you might be thinking – how is this going to help me? But, just think about it for a minute. Constant change means everything is temporary. Including your pain.

The idea of constant change is called anitya, which means impermanence. Life is fluid; you will never repeat the same moment twice. Every day is different from the day before. Your body has changed, your thoughts have changed, and the world around you has changed. Remembering this during your most trying times can help you deal with everything. This will pass, and it will not come back.[1]

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Don’t just think about this when you’re feeling down in the dumps however. Cherish this life lesson as words to live by. You’ll be surprised by how much control you have over your own happiness. And you’ll start to appreciate all the little moments in your life, knowing that you must enjoy them while you can.

“Happiness is not a station you arrive at, but a manner of traveling.” – Margaret Lee Runbeck

Happiness will not just happen. You have to make an effort and work for it. If you’re sad right now, you have to work even harder. Erin Falconer’s personal experience is all about taking short relaxation breaks. She either meditates for 5 to 10 minutes or listens to some motivating songs to change the direction of her energy.[2] Relaxation helps when you’re dealing with too much stress.

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You can apply this same strategy to your life, or you can personalize it. Getting your happiness back is all about changing your focus. If you’re sad, don’t sit around thinking how sad you are. If you’re stressed, don’t obsess over all the things you have to get done. Stop what you’re doing, stand up, stretch, and focus on something else. Try to do 50 jumping jacks or watch 5 minutes of cute kitten videos (doesn’t that cheer up everybody?).

The key to being happier is remembering that life is always changing. Not only is this moment temporary, but you also have control over how you feel. The sooner you understand this, the happier you will be. Accept this life lesson and embrace it. Make it your daily mantra. When you get out of bed in the morning, repeat to yourself: “anitya”. This will help set your mind for the day ahead.

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When all else fails you, remember that every rough patch in life is like an obstacle. Use each obstacle to get you closer to your goal – happiness. Tomorrow is another day. Things will get better. The present is all you have right now, use it to for your personal growth.

Featured photo credit: Unsplash via pexels.com

Reference

More by this author

Amber Pariona

EFL Teacher, Lifehack Writer, English/Spanish Translator, MPA

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Last Updated on January 18, 2019

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

Some people will have a rain cloud hanging over them, no matter what the weather is outside. Their negative attitude is toxic to your own moods, and you probably feel like there is little you can do about it.

But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

If you want to effectively deal with negative people and be a champion of positivity, then your best route is to take definite action through some of the steps below.

1. Limit the time you spend with them.

First, let’s get this out of the way. You can be more positive than a cartoon sponge, but even your enthusiasm has a chance of being afflicted by the constant negativity of a friend.

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In fact, negativity has been proven to damage your health physically, making you vulnerable to high levels of stress and even cardiac disease. There’s no reason to get hurt because of someone else’s bad mood.

Though this may be a little tricky depending on your situation, working to spend slightly less time around negative people will keep your own spirits from slipping as well.

2. Speak up for yourself.

Don’t just absorb the comments that you are being bombarded with, especially if they are about you. It’s wise to be quick to listen and slow to speak, but being too quiet can give the person the impression that you are accepting what’s being said.

3. Don’t pretend that their behavior is “OK.”

This is an easy trap to fall into. Point out to the person that their constant negativity isn’t a good thing. We don’t want to do this because it’s far easier to let someone sit in their woes, and we’d rather just stay out of it.

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But if you want the best for this person, avoid giving the false impression that their negativity is normal.

4. Don’t make their problems your problems.

Though I consider empathy a gift, it can be a dangerous thing. When we hear the complaints of a friend or family member, we typically start to take on their burdens with them.

This is a bad habit to get into, especially if this is a person who is almost exclusively negative. These types of people are prone to embellishing and altering a story in order to gain sympathy.

Why else would they be sharing this with you?

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5. Change the subject.

When you suspect that a conversation is starting to take a turn for the negative, be a champion of positivity by changing the subject. Of course, you have to do this without ignoring what the other person said.

Acknowledge their comment, but move the conversation forward before the euphoric pleasure gained from complaining takes hold of either of you.

6. Talk about solutions, not problems.

Sometimes, changing the subject isn’t an option if you want to deal with negative people, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be positive.

I know that when someone begins dumping complaints on me, I have a hard time knowing exactly what to say. The key is to measure your responses as solution-based.

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You can do this by asking questions like, “Well, how could this be resolved?” or, “How do you think they feel about it?”

Use discernment to find an appropriate response that will help your friend manage their perspectives.

7. Leave them behind.

Sadly, there are times when we have to move on without these friends, especially if you have exhausted your best efforts toward building a positive relationship.

If this person is a family member, you can still have a functioning relationship with them, of course, but you may still have to limit the influence they have over your wellbeing.

That being said, what are some steps you’ve taken to deal with negative people? Let us know in the comments.

You may also want to read: How to Stop the Negative Spin of Thoughts, Emotions and Actions.

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