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I Am Single Because A Lasting Relationship Shouldn’t Be Rushed

I Am Single Because A Lasting Relationship Shouldn’t Be Rushed

Does it seem like all of your friends are adding a +1 to party invitations? Are you feeling left out? Maybe even beginning to question your ability to find a romantic partner? At some point, every single one of us has been single. Every single person knows what it feels like to be left out of couples only events or to be the third wheel on a date. I know things can start to feel lonely, but there’s a reason you’re single now. Enjoy being single for the moment and don’t rush into a relationship just to avoid that feeling. Those are the relationships that usually don’t work out. Try not to worry about it. You won’t be single forever (unless you want to be). By choosing singleness now and not rushing into a relationship, you’re actually more likely to have a long-lasting and fulfilling relationship in the future.

“You don’t need to be in a relationship to be happy. You just need to understand yourself.” [1]

If you’re not happy now, committing yourself to a relationship isn’t going to help. Being alone is exactly what you need right now – learn to deal with that feeling of loneliness. Chances are, that lonely feeling means you don’t understand yourself yet. Spending some time alone can help you learn more about who you really are and what you need to be happy. Relish that time and never forget what you learn about yourself. Then, you won’t rely on another person to bring you happiness. Remember, you are a complete person without having a significant other.

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“Be together for the right reasons”

Don’t get yourself into a relationship before you’re ready. Make sure you understand yourself first and that you’re happy. This way, when you do find a romantic partner, you can make sure it’s for the right reasons. Both partners in a relationship need to be able to give and feel love, admiration, and respect for one another. This shouldn’t be one-sided. When you’re with another person for the right reasons, you benefit through personal growth and so does your partner. [2] Being with another person for the right reasons means the relationship is more likely to last.

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“When we believe we cannot have what we desire—when we lack faith in ourselves and in the goodness of life—we settle for less.” [3]

If you rush into a relationship before you understand yourself and your needs, you’re probably settling for less than you deserve. The same is true if you rush into a relationship for all the wrong reasons. The thing is, sometimes we might feel so lonely that we’re willing to let any available person into our lives. It’s the erroneous idea that whatever is within our reach is good enough, better than nothing. If you find yourself saying that about a potential relationship, you’re probably settling. As with most things we settle for, the relationship probably won’t last long.

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Let’s be honest. Not only do you deserve better, but the other person deserves better too. Nobody wants to settle and nobody wants to be the person settled on.

“Single is not a status, it is a word that describes a person who is strong enough to live and enjoy life without depending on others.” [4]

Embrace your singlehood for now. Focus on the commitments you have to yourself, be spontaneous and free. Don’t listen to what anybody else says about your personal relationship and life. It’s your life and you’re doing this for you and your happiness. Be confident in knowing that you are spending time to get to know yourself so you’re with somebody for all the right reasons without settling for less than you deserve. Once you do find a partner, you can be sure that you’ve prepared yourself for a lasting relationship.

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Reference

More by this author

Amber Pariona

EFL Teacher, Lifehack Writer, English/Spanish Translator, MPA

What Makes a Relationship Boring and How to Avoid It How to Know If You’re Really in Love or Not (Yes It Can Be Confusing) Why You and Your Partner Don’t Need to Speak the Same Love Language to Stay Together Why Worrying About Losing a Friend Is Unnecessary No.1 Relationship Killer: Your Good Intention to Advise Your Partner When They’re Upset

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Last Updated on July 18, 2019

What Makes People Happy? 20 Secrets of “Always Happy” People

What Makes People Happy? 20 Secrets of “Always Happy” People

Some people just seem to float through life with a relentless sense of happiness – through the toughest of times, they’re unfazed and aloof, stopping to smell the roses and drinking out of a glass half full.

They may not have much to be happy about, but the simplicity behind that fact itself may make them happy.

It’s all a matter of perspective, conscious effort and self-awareness. Listed below are a number of reasons why some people are always happy.

1. They Manage Their Expectations

They’re not crushed when they don’t get what they want – or misled into expecting to get the most out of every situation. They approach every situation pragmatically, hoping for the best but being prepared for the worst.

2. They Don’t Set Unrealistic Standards

Similar to the last point, they don’t live their lives in a constant pursuit towards impossible visions of perfection, only to always find themselves falling short of what they want.

3. They Don’t Take Anything for Granted

Happiness rests with feeling fulfilled – those who fail to stop and appreciate what they have every now and again will never experience true fulfillment.

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4. They’re Not Materialistic

There are arguing viewpoints on whether or not money can really buy happiness; if it can, then we know from experience that we can never be satisfied because there will always be something newer or better that we want. Who has ever had enough money?

5. They Don’t Dwell

They don’t sweat the small things or waste time worrying about things that don’t really matter at the end of the day. They don’t let negative thoughts latch onto them and drain them or distract them. Life’s too short to worry.

6. They Care About Themselves First

They’re independent, care for themselves and understand that they must put their needs first in order to accommodate the needs of others.

They indulge, aim to get what they want, make time for themselves and are extremely self-reliant.

7. They Enjoy the Little Things

They stop to smell the roses. They’re accustomed to find serenity when it’s available, to welcome entertainment or a stimulating discussion with a stranger when it crosses their path. They don’t overlook the small things in life that can be just as important.

8. They Can Adapt

They’re not afraid of change and they work to make the most out of new circumstances, good or bad. They thrive under pressure, are not overwhelmed easily and always embrace a change of pace.

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9. They Experiment

They try new things, experience new flavors and never shy away from something they have yet to experience. They never order twice from the same menu.

10. They Take Their Time

They don’t unnecessarily rush through life. They work on their own schedule to the extent that they can and maneuver through life at their own relaxing pace.

11. They Employ Different Perspectives

They’re not stuck in one perspective; a loss can result in a new opportunity, hitting rock bottom can mean that there’s no where to go but up.

12. They Seek to Learn

Their constant pursuit of knowledge keeps them inspired and interested in life. They cherish information and are on a life-long quest to learn as much as they can.

13. They Always Have a Plan

They don’t find themselves drifting without purpose. When something doesn’t go as planned, they have a plan for every letter in the alphabet to fall back on.

14. They Give Respect to Get It

They are respectful and, in turn, are seen as respectable; the respect they exude earns them the respect they deserve.

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15. They Consider Every Opportunity

They always have their eyes open for a new road, a new avenue worth exploring. They know how to recognize opportune moments and pounce on them to make the most of every situation. Success is inevitable for them.

16. They Always Seek to Improve

Perpetual self-improvement is the key towards their ongoing thirst for success. Whatever it is they do, they take pride in getting better and better, from social interactions to mundane tasks. Their pursuit at being the best eventually materializes.

17. They Don’t Take Life Too Seriously

They’re not ones to get offended easily over-analyze or complicate matters. They laugh at their own faults and misfortunes.

18. They Live in the Moment

They don’t live for tomorrow or dwell on what may have happened yesterday. Every day is a new opportunity, a new chapter. They live in the now, and in doing so, get the most out of every moment.

You can learn how to do so too: How to Live in the Moment and Stop Worrying About the Past or Future

19. They Say Yes

Much more often than they say no. They don’t have to be badgered to go out, don’t shy away from new opportunities or anything that may seem inconvenient.

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20. They’re Self-Aware

Most important, they’re wholly aware of themselves. They self-reflect and are conscious of their states of mind. If somethings bothering them, they fix it.

We’re all susceptible to feeling down every now and again, but we are all equipped with the necessary solutions that just have to be discovered.

Lack of confidence, inability to feel fulfilled, and susceptibility to stress are all matters that can be controlled through the way we handle our lives and perceive our circumstances.

Learn about How Self-Reflection Gives You a Happier and More Successful Life.

Final Thoughts

The main philosophy employed by the happiest includes the idea that life’s simply too short: life’s too short to let things get you down, to take things for granted, to pursue absolute and unrealistic perfection.

For some, employing these characteristics is a second nature – they do it without knowing. For others, a conscious effort must be put forth every now and again. Self-Awareness is key.

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Featured photo credit: Charles Postiaux via unsplash.com

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