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He Asked People To Give Relationship Advice, And This One Is The Most Important And Repetitive One

He Asked People To Give Relationship Advice, And This One Is The Most Important And Repetitive One

Romantic relationships can be difficult to navigate and sometimes, they don’t work out. Other times, you manage to find the person of your dreams out of the giant sea of available fish. When that happens, you probably want everything to work out so you can spend the rest of your lives together. But, how exactly do you make your relationships work out? By asking for relationship advice from people in happy relationships!

That is exactly what author and blogger Mark Manson set out to do just before getting married. He sent out a relationship advice request to all of his readers with one qualification. They must be married for longer than 10 years and still happy in their relationship. He asked responders to pass on their relationship advice to other couples and the response was more than he expected. Nearly 1,500 people sent in their relationship advice. [1]

Mark noticed something. Most of the pieces of advice were similar. The most common bit of relationship advice was: “Be together for the right reasons”.

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Most Common Piece of Relationship Advice

Be together for the right reasons. To have a healthy relationship, both partners need to feel admiration and respect for one another. When you’re with another person for the right reasons, you benefit through personal growth and so does your partner.

As most relationship advice will tell you, being in a healthy relationship is good for you. Having somebody to come home to, who you legitimately love to share your time with, can actually make you healthier. Not only that, but you’ll feel more motivated to accomplish your goals and you’ll probably get more done as well. Maintaining happiness gives you hope and can help relieve the stress of life’s difficult moments. [2]

But, you and your partner will only experience these benefits if you really love each other. Unfortunately, people end up in relationships for all the wrong reasons far too frequently.

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Wrong Reasons to Be In A Relationship

Feeling Lonely

Maybe you met your significant other at a time in your life when you were feeling lonely or worried that you’d never meet the right person. Or maybe you’re staying in a relationship that you know isn’t right because of the fear of never finding somebody else. According to Carole Lieberman, MD and psychiatrist, “They [women] convince themselves that even a selfish, boring, or abusive boyfriend is better than no boyfriend at all.” [3] The same is true for men. Follow the relationship advice, don’t risk your happiness.

Fear of Losing an Entire Family

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Another wrong reason to be with somebody else is for their family. Lots of people love their significant other’s family, particularly if the relationship has gone on for a long time. Sound familiar? Breaking up with that one person suddenly seems like you’ll be losing an entire family. Don’t let that stop you. It’s not a good enough reason to stay with somebody. If it’s the only reason, neither one of you will be happy.

Hoping that He/She Would Fix Everything That’s Wrong In Your Life

If you think that having a partner will magically fix everything that’s wrong in your life, you’re not following good relationship advice. Being with somebody because you think they can relieve your emotional issues is the wrong reason to be with somebody. Not only that, but you might find yourself in a codependent situation. This is when you put up with somebody else’s unhealthy behavior and they put up with yours because neither person wants to be alone. Not good.

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Remember, finding the right relationship is not impossible. It just takes being honest with yourself about why you want to have a significant other. Once you’ve found the person that you want to grow old with and create a life with, follow the most common relationship advice discussed above. Make sure the two of you are in it for the right reasons.

Featured photo credit: freestocks.org via pexels.com

Reference

More by this author

Amber Pariona

EFL Teacher, Lifehack Writer, English/Spanish Translator, MPA

What Makes a Relationship Boring and How to Avoid It How to Know If You’re Really in Love or Not (Yes It Can Be Confusing) Why You and Your Partner Don’t Need to Speak the Same Love Language to Stay Together Why Worrying About Losing a Friend Is Unnecessary No.1 Relationship Killer: Your Good Intention to Advise Your Partner When They’re Upset

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Last Updated on December 2, 2018

7 Public Speaking Techniques To Help Connect With Your Audience

7 Public Speaking Techniques To Help Connect With Your Audience

When giving a presentation or speech, you have to engage your audience effectively in order to truly get your point across. Unlike a written editorial or newsletter, your speech is fleeting; once you’ve said everything you set out to say, you don’t get a second chance to have your voice heard in that specific arena.

You need to make sure your audience hangs on to every word you say, from your introduction to your wrap-up. You can do so by:

1. Connecting them with each other

Picture your typical rock concert. What’s the first thing the singer says to the crowd after jumping out on stage? “Hello (insert city name here)!” Just acknowledging that he’s coherent enough to know where he is is enough for the audience to go wild and get into the show.

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It makes each individual feel as if they’re a part of something bigger. The same goes for any public speaking event. When an audience hears, “You’re all here because you care deeply about wildlife preservation,” it gives them a sense that they’re not just there to listen, but they’re there to connect with the like-minded people all around them.

2. Connect with their emotions

Speakers always try to get their audience emotionally involved in whatever topic they’re discussing. There are a variety of ways in which to do this, such as using statistics, stories, pictures or videos that really show the importance of the topic at hand.

For example, showing pictures of the aftermath of an accident related to drunk driving will certainly send a specific message to an audience of teenagers and young adults. While doing so might be emotionally nerve-racking to the crowd, it may be necessary to get your point across and engage them fully.

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3. Keep going back to the beginning

Revisit your theme throughout your presentation. Although you should give your audience the credit they deserve and know that they can follow along, linking back to your initial thesis can act as a subconscious reminder of why what you’re currently telling them is important.

On the other hand, if you simply mention your theme or the point of your speech at the beginning and never mention it again, it gives your audience the impression that it’s not really that important.

4. Link to your audience’s motivation

After you’ve acknowledged your audience’s common interests in being present, discuss their motivation for being there. Be specific. Using the previous example, if your audience clearly cares about wildlife preservation, discuss what can be done to help save endangered species’ from extinction.

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Don’t just give them cold, hard facts; use the facts to make a point that they can use to better themselves or the world in some way.

5. Entertain them

While not all speeches or presentations are meant to be entertaining in a comedic way, audiences will become thoroughly engaged in anecdotes that relate to the overall theme of the speech. We discussed appealing to emotions, and that’s exactly what a speaker sets out to do when he tells a story from his past or that of a well-known historical figure.

Speakers usually tell more than one story in order to show that the first one they told isn’t simply an anomaly, and that whatever outcome they’re attempting to prove will consistently reoccur, given certain circumstances.

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6. Appeal to loyalty

Just like the musician mentioning the town he’s playing in will get the audience ready to rock, speakers need to appeal to their audience’s loyalty to their country, company, product or cause. Show them how important it is that they’re present and listening to your speech by making your words hit home to each individual.

In doing so, the members of your audience will feel as if you’re speaking directly to them while you’re addressing the entire crowd.

7. Tell them the benefits of the presentation

Early on in your presentation, you should tell your audience exactly what they’ll learn, and exactly how they’ll learn it. Don’t expect them to listen if they don’t have clear-cut information to listen for. On the other hand, if they know what to listen for, they’ll be more apt to stay engaged throughout your entire presentation so they don’t miss anything.

Featured photo credit: Flickr via farm4.staticflickr.com

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