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If You Want To Be Successful, Stop Trying To Please Everybody

If You Want To Be Successful, Stop Trying To Please Everybody

Success is simple. Do what’s right, the right way, at the right time.

Arnold H. Glasow summarized his reason for success in a single, simple sentence. Here comes the question that has perpetually mystified human beings: what is the right thing to do?

They say curiosity kills the cat. In a sense, that is true. Every time we make a decision, we constantly question ourselves, “what if we did it the other way round?”. We initiate battles within ourselves, leading us to be miserable no matter what we chose or did in the end. Perhaps it comes with experience, but as I grew up, I began to realize that many of these battles began because we weren’t choosing the option we really wanted. We weren’t acknowledging our own desires. And if we want success that bad, we just have to stop trying to please everybody.

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Don’t say maybe if you want to say no.

It’s pretty self-explanatory, isn’t it?

It doesn’t seem appropriate to say “no” when someone is enthusiastically asking you to a party. I know I would have a hard time because that would mean looking at the crestfallen face of your friend and feeling guilty. Moreover, no one likes a killjoy. So you say, “maybe… I’ll see” instead. But once you said that, you started feeling a pull, an obligation to go and when you ended up in a place where you didn’t even want to be in, you started wondering how it had come down to this.

The truth is – you need to start saying no instead of maybe. Shake your head instead of shrugging. It’s okay to be polite, but not to the point when you have to force yourself to be somewhere or do something you don’t want to. There is only so much time you can spend and so many things you can do. Don’t waste it on the non-essentials.

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One aspect of your life is going to affect other aspects of your life.

The four burners theory mentioned that you would need to cut off something from your life if you want to be successful.[1] That’s because the people that constitute the different aspects of your life are going to expect you to go an extra mile for them. They don’t mean to make your life difficult. But do you remember your boss asking if you can help with an extra project? Or your husband or wife other asking if you can help with the kids on the weekends when they meet up with their friends?

When you agree with one side, you are going to have to stretch certain areas in your life, such as your health. Your choice has unconsciously affected your entire life. More importantly, when one area of your life is out of alignment, every area of your life suffers. The more you work for others instead of yourself, the more you are going to feel like your life is getting torn asunder.

Remember: everyone has their expectations, but it’s not your obligation to do what they want you to do. You own yourself.

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Don’t let “should”s hold sway over you.

It’s alright if you think you should do something because it would make yourself happy. However, most of the times, our mind goes like this:

“I should join their gossiping or else I am going to look out of place eating lunch alone.”

“I should probably go to this dinner or my friends are going to feel bad.”

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Nothing leads to indecision faster than letting your actions be guided by the desire to impress or satisfy others. – Iyanla Vanzant

There are a lot of things that you will feel that you should do. But as you go on in life, you will realize these are not things that you must do. There is only one right thing to do, and that is the things that you do for yourself and yourself only.

Featured photo credit: Picjumbo via Picjumbo.com

Reference

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Eamon Suen

Student, The Hong Kong University of Science and Technology

Life Is Not Supposed To Be Fair, We’re Supposed to Learn To Live With It If You Want To Be Successful, You May Need To Cut Off Something From Life The Earlier You Understand These Truths Of Happiness The Better Accept Where You Are And Happiness Is At Your Fingertips Your New Habits Will Stick With These 5 Killer Strategies

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Last Updated on March 23, 2021

Manage Your Energy so You Can Manage Your Time

Manage Your Energy so You Can Manage Your Time

One of the greatest ironies of this age is that while various gadgets like smartphones and netbooks allow you to multitask, it seems that you never manage to get things done. You are caught in the busyness trap. There’s just too much work to do in one day that sometimes you end up exhausted with half-finished tasks.

The problem lies in how to keep our energy level high to ensure that you finish at least one of your most important tasks for the day. There’s just not enough hours in a day and it’s not possible to be productive the whole time.

You need more than time management. You need energy management

1. Dispel the idea that you need to be a “morning person” to be productive

How many times have you heard (or read) this advice – wake up early so that you can do all the tasks at hand. There’s nothing wrong with that advice. It’s actually reeks of good common sense – start early, finish early. The thing is that technique alone won’t work with everyone. Especially not with people who are not morning larks.

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I should know because I was once deluded with the idea that I will be more productive if I get out of bed by 6 a.m. Like most of you Lifehackers, I’m always on the lookout for productivity hacks because I have a lot of things in my plate. I’m working full time as an editor for a news agency, while at the same time tending to my side business as a content marketing strategist. I’m also a travel blogger and oh yeah, I forgot, I also have a life.

I read a lot of productivity books and blogs looking for ways to make the most of my 24 hours. Most stories on productivity stress waking up early. So I did – and I was a major failure in that department – both in waking up early and finishing early.

2. Determine your “peak hours”

Energy management begins with looking for your most productive hours in a day. Getting attuned to your body clock won’t happen instantly but there’s a way around it.

Monitor your working habits for one week and list down the time when you managed to do the most work. Take note also of what you feel during those hours – do you feel energized or lethargic? Monitor this and you will find a pattern later on.

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My experiment with being a morning lark proved that ignoring my body clock and just doing it by disciplining myself to wake up before 8 a.m. will push me to be more productive. I thought that by writing blog posts and other reports in the morning that I would be finished by noon and use my lunch break for a quick gym session. That never happened. I was sleepy, distracted and couldn’t write jack before 10 a.m.

In fact that was one experiment that I shouldn’t have tried because I should know better. After all, I’ve been writing for a living for the last 15 years, and I have observed time and again that I write more –and better – in the afternoon and in evenings after supper. I’m a night owl. I might as well, accept it and work around it.

Just recently, I was so fired up by a certain idea that – even if I’m back home tired from work – I took out my netbook, wrote and published a 600-word blog post by 11 p.m. This is a bit extreme and one of my rare outbursts of energy, but it works for me.

3. Block those high-energy hours

Once you have a sense of that high-energy time, you can then mold your schedule so that your other less important tasks will be scheduled either before or after this designated productive time.

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Block them out in your calendar and use the high-energy hours for your high priority tasks – especially those that require more of your mental energy and focus. You also need to use these hours to any task that will bring you closer to you life’s goal.

If you are a morning person, you might want to schedule most business meetings before lunch time as it’s important to keep your mind sharp and focused. But nothing is set in stone. Sometimes you have to sacrifice those productive hours to attend to other personal stuff – like if you or your family members are sick or if you have to attend your son’s graduation.

That said, just remember to keep those productive times on your calendar. You may allow for some exemptions but stick to that schedule as much as possible.

There’s no right or wrong way of using this energy management technique because everything depends on your own personal circumstances. What you need to remember is that you have to accept what works for you – and not what other productivity gurus say you should do.

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Understanding your own body clock is the key to time management. Without it, you end up exhausted chasing a never-ending cycle of tasks and frustrations.

Featured photo credit: Collin Hardy via unsplash.com

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