Success is simple. Do what’s right, the right way, at the right time.
Arnold H. Glasow summarized his reason for success in a single, simple sentence. Here comes the question that has perpetually mystified human beings: what is the right thing to do?
They say curiosity kills the cat. In a sense, that is true. Every time we make a decision, we constantly question ourselves, “what if we did it the other way round?”. We initiate battles within ourselves, leading us to be miserable no matter what we chose or did in the end. Perhaps it comes with experience, but as I grew up, I began to realize that many of these battles began because we weren’t choosing the option we really wanted. We weren’t acknowledging our own desires. And if we want success that bad, we just have to stop trying to please everybody.Advertising
Don’t say maybe if you want to say no.
It’s pretty self-explanatory, isn’t it?
It doesn’t seem appropriate to say “no” when someone is enthusiastically asking you to a party. I know I would have a hard time because that would mean looking at the crestfallen face of your friend and feeling guilty. Moreover, no one likes a killjoy. So you say, “maybe… I’ll see” instead. But once you said that, you started feeling a pull, an obligation to go and when you ended up in a place where you didn’t even want to be in, you started wondering how it had come down to this.
The truth is – you need to start saying no instead of maybe. Shake your head instead of shrugging. It’s okay to be polite, but not to the point when you have to force yourself to be somewhere or do something you don’t want to. There is only so much time you can spend and so many things you can do. Don’t waste it on the non-essentials.Advertising
One aspect of your life is going to affect other aspects of your life.
The four burners theory mentioned that you would need to cut off something from your life if you want to be successful. That’s because the people that constitute the different aspects of your life are going to expect you to go an extra mile for them. They don’t mean to make your life difficult. But do you remember your boss asking if you can help with an extra project? Or your husband or wife other asking if you can help with the kids on the weekends when they meet up with their friends?
When you agree with one side, you are going to have to stretch certain areas in your life, such as your health. Your choice has unconsciously affected your entire life. More importantly, when one area of your life is out of alignment, every area of your life suffers. The more you work for others instead of yourself, the more you are going to feel like your life is getting torn asunder.
Remember: everyone has their expectations, but it’s not your obligation to do what they want you to do. You own yourself.Advertising
Don’t let “should”s hold sway over you.
It’s alright if you think you should do something because it would make yourself happy. However, most of the times, our mind goes like this:
“I should join their gossiping or else I am going to look out of place eating lunch alone.”
“I should probably go to this dinner or my friends are going to feel bad.”Advertising
Nothing leads to indecision faster than letting your actions be guided by the desire to impress or satisfy others. – Iyanla Vanzant
There are a lot of things that you will feel that you should do. But as you go on in life, you will realize these are not things that you must do. There is only one right thing to do, and that is the things that you do for yourself and yourself only.
Featured photo credit: Picjumbo via Picjumbo.com
Last Updated on September 20, 2018
8 Ways to Train Your Brain to Learn Faster and Remember More
You go to the gym to train your muscles. You run outside or go for hikes to train your endurance. Or, maybe you do neither of those, but still wish you exercised more.
Well, here is how to train one of the most important parts of your body: your brain.
When you train your brain, you will:
- Avoid embarrassing situations. You remember his face, but what was his name?
- Be a faster learner in all sorts of different skills. No problem for you to pick up a new language or new management skill.
- Avoid diseases that hit as you get older. Alzheimer’s will not be affecting you.
So how to train your brain and improve your cognitive skills?
1. Work your memory
Twyla Tharp, a NYC-based renowned choreographer has come up with the following memory workout:
When she watches one of her performances, she tries to remember the first twelve to fourteen corrections she wants to discuss with her cast without writing them down.
If you think this is anything less than a feat, then think again. In her book The Creative Habit she says that most people cannot remember more than three.
The practice of both remembering events or things and then discussing them with others has actually been supported by brain fitness studies.
Memory activities that engage all levels of brain operation—receiving, remembering and thinking—help to improve the function of the brain.
Now, you may not have dancers to correct, but you may be required to give feedback on a presentation, or your friends may ask you what interesting things you saw at the museum. These are great opportunities to practically train your brain by flexing your memory muscles.
What is the simplest way to help yourself remember what you see? Repetition.
For example, say you just met someone new:
“Hi, my name is George”
Don’t just respond with, “Nice to meet you”. Instead, say, “Nice to meet you George.”
Got it? Good.
2. Do something different repeatedly
By actually doing something new over and over again, your brain wires new pathways that help you do this new thing better and faster.
Think back to when you were three years old. You surely were strong enough to hold a knife and a fork just fine. Yet, when you were eating all by yourself, you were creating a mess.
It was not a matter of strength, you see. It was a matter of cultivating more and better neural pathways that would help you eat by yourself just like an adult does.
And guess what? With enough repetition you made that happen!
But how does this apply to your life right now?
Say you are a procrastinator. The more you don’t procrastinate, the more you teach your brain not to wait for the last minute to make things happen.
Now, you might be thinking “Duh, if only not procrastinating could be that easy!”
Well, it can be. By doing something really small, that you wouldn’t normally do, but is in the direction of getting that task done, you will start creating those new precious neural pathways.
So if you have been postponing organizing your desk, just take one paper and put in its right place. Or, you can go even smaller. Look at one piece of paper and decide where to put it: Trash? Right cabinet? Another room? Give it to someone?
You don’t actually need to clean up that paper; you only need to decide what you need to do with it.
That’s how small you can start. And yet, those neural pathways are still being built. Gradually, you will transform yourself from a procrastinator to an in-the-moment action taker.
3. Learn something new
It might sound obvious, but the more you use your brain, the better its going to perform for you.
For example, learning a new instrument improves your skill of translating something you see (sheet music) to something you actually do (playing the instrument).
Learning a new language exposes your brain to a different way of thinking, a different way of expressing yourself.
You can even literally take it a step further, and learn how to dance. Studies indicate that learning to dance helps seniors avoid Alzheimer’s. Not bad, huh?
4. Follow a brain training program
The Internet world can help you improve your brain function while lazily sitting on your couch. A clinically proven program like BrainHQ can help you improve your memory, or think faster, by just following their brain training exercises.
5. Work your body
You knew this one was coming didn’t you? Yes indeed, exercise does not just work your body; it also improves the fitness of your brain.
Even briefly exercising for 20 minutes facilitates information processing and memory functions. But it’s not just that–exercise actually helps your brain create those new neural connections faster. You will learn faster, your alertness level will increase, and you get all that by moving your body.
Now, if you are not already a regular exerciser, and already feel guilty that you are not helping your brain by exercising more, try a brain training exercise program like Exercise Bliss.
Remember, just like we discussed in #2, by training your brain to do something new repeatedly, you are actually changing yourself permanently.
6. Spend time with your loved ones
If you want optimal cognitive abilities, then you’ve got to have meaningful relationships in your life. Talking with others and engaging with your loved ones helps you think more clearly, and it can also lift your mood.
If you are an extrovert, this holds even more weight for you. At a class at Stanford University, I learned that extroverts actually use talking to other people as a way to understand and process their own thoughts.
I remember that the teacher told us that after a personality test said she was an extrovert, she was surprised. She had always thought of herself as an introvert. But then, she realized how much talking to others helped her frame her own thoughts, so she accepted her new-found status as an extrovert.
7. Avoid crossword puzzles
Many of us, when we think of brain fitness, think of crossword puzzles. And it’s true–crossword puzzles do improve our fluency, yet studies show they are not enough by themselves.
Are they fun? Yes. Do they sharpen your brain? Not really.
Of course, if you are doing this for fun, then by all means go ahead. If you are doing it for brain fitness, then you might want to choose another activity
8. Eat right – and make sure dark chocolate is included
Foods like fish, fruits, and vegetables help your brain perform optimally. Yet, you might not know that dark chocolate gives your brain a good boost as well.
When you eat chocolate, your brain produces dopamine. And dopamine helps you learn faster and remember better. Not to mention, chocolate contains flavonols, antioxidants, which also improve your brain functions.
So next time you have something difficult to do, make sure you grab a bite or two of dark chocolate!
The bottom line
Now that you know how to train your brain, it’s actually time to start doing.
Don’t just consume this content and then go on with your life as if nothing has changed. Put this knowledge into action and become smarter than ever!
Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com