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This Mindset is Essential If You Want To Feel More Comfortable Around People

This Mindset is Essential If You Want To Feel More Comfortable Around People

Many people today struggle with some type of social anxiety whether it is related to a particular type of social situation, or it is present in any type of interaction with unfamiliar people. Being uncomfortable around people makes life a lot more complicated since in order to achieve any goal in life – personal or professional we ought to make conversations and develop relationships with others. More so, people are social beings, and it is in our DNA to want to interact with others, it is just that for some of us, it can be quite challenging at times.

The reasons we are uncomfortable around people

As mentioned earlier, we as humans are dependent upon social interactions and we essentially crave those, yet for some it may seem completely natural to express themselves in front of their close ones, while the thought of interacting with strangers seems unbearable. The fear of not being perceived by others as worthy creates a blockage in people’s thoughts preventing them from being able to think clearly, and therefore, their biggest fears come to life. The reasons may vary, but for most people the problem seems to develop out of negative self-belief. Overthinking, shyness and other side-effects have all been developed from a negative perception we have of ourselves. People who think of themselves as smart, funny, eloquent and attractive have no problem to interact with any group of people, whereas people who judge themselves too harshly often fear that others may do the same.

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A mindset to help you be more comfortable around others

Contrary to the popular belief, there are no sets of skills we need to learn that would make us more comfortable when interacting with people. Even though good listening skills, empathy and body language can be beneficial, the only way that we are ever going to be comfortable around people is if we adopt the mindset that anyone who is great in different social situations has got.

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It all comes down to how you see and believe yourself to be. Socially anxious people think that others perceive them as awkward, stupid or unattractive, or fear that they might if they start expressing themselves, when, in most cases, it is just their belief about themselves, and since they are so much focused on that perception, they tend to find evidence of that in social interactions.

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Stop caring desperately about how other people may perceive you. Look for your positive traits and focus on those, then you will see how others respond well. You will get much more confident, because over time, you will stop caring so much what others think, since you will no longer need their validation to make you feel good. Then the magic starts to happen. You get to freely involve in many more social situations, your fear of rejection or of embarrassment disappears and you stop overthinking so much, and start acting instead. Your encounters with people improve as a result, as people like to spend time with you because you are able to develop much more meaningful conversations since you are no longer only focused on what you are about to say, and as a result, you become more engaging rather than standing on the sidelines.

Even if you find yourself in an unpleasant social situation, don’t get mad or feel hurt. Don’t let it bring you down, because if you feel bad, you will start overthinking again and your confidence level will go down. Just put on a big smile and keep going. Not everybody can like you, and that’s fine. If you stop being harsh to yourself and act instead of think, people will see how confident you are and feel attracted to you and start enjoying your company.

Featured photo credit: https://unsplash.com/ via unsplash.com

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Ana Erkic

Social Media Consultant, Online Marketing Strategist, Copywriter, CEO and Co-Founder of Growato

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Last Updated on September 17, 2018

7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck

7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck

Relationships are complicated and when you’re unhappy, it can be difficult to tell what’s causing it and what needs to change.

Sometimes it’s as easy as opening up to your partner about your problems, while other times it may be necessary to switch partners or roll solo to get your mind straight.

When you’re in the thick of things, it can be difficult to tell if you’re unhappy in your relationship or just unhappy in general (in which case, a relationship may be just the cure you need).

Here’re signs of an unhappy relationship that is possibly making you feel stuck:

1. You’re depressed about your home life.

No matter what you do in life, you’re going to have good and bad days. Your relationship is no different.

However, no matter what you’re going through at home, you have to feel comfortable in your own home.

If you constantly dread going home because your significant other is there, there’s a problem. Maybe it’s something you already know about, everyone has an argument or just needs some alone time.

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When that yearning to be alone becomes an insatiable obsession over the course of months and years, it’s time to realize you’re not the exception to the rule.

You’re unhappy in your relationship, and you need to take a look in the mirror and do whatever it takes to make yourself smile.

2. You aren’t comfortable being yourself.

Remember all those things you discovered about yourself when you first got together? The way your partner made you feel when you met that made you fall in love with him or her in the first place.

If they don’t make you feel that way anymore, it’s not the end of the world. If your partner makes you uncomfortable about being you, then her or she is only dragging you down. It’s up to you to decide how to handle that.

You need to be comfortable with who you are. This means being comfortable in your skin and with the way you walk, talk, look, breath, move, and all the other things that make you uniquely you.

If the person who supposedly loves you doesn’t make you feel good about yourself, know that you can do better. They’re not even one in a billion.

3. You can’t stop snooping.

Mutual trust is necessary in any relationship. The only way to get that trust is with respect.

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I can find you anywhere online, no matter how private and secure you think you are. The odds of you having a password I can’t crack are slim. If we’ve met in person, I could install a remote key logger on your device without even touching it.

Finding your information online hardly takes a clandestine organization. Any idiot with a Wi-Fi-enabled device can cyberstalk you. I’m just the only idiot in the village admitting it.

So now that we know everyone snoops, it’s time to address your personal habits. Governments snoop because they don’t trust us. If you’re snooping on your partner, it’s because you don’t trust them.

It’s ok to have doubts, and it’s perfectly normal to look into anything that looks weird, but keep in mind that data collection is only half of an investigation.

If you find yourself constantly snooping and questioning everything, clearly there’s a trust issue and the relationship likely needs to end.

4. You’re afraid of commitment.

If you’ve been dating longer than a year and you aren’t engaged, it’s never going to happen.

Commitment is important. People will come up with a million ways to describe why they can’t be committed.

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No matter who you are if you like it, you need to put a ring on it. Find an engagement ring, stick a gemstone in it and marry the person. If you’re not legally able to get married or you don’t believe in it for one reason or another, have a child (or adopt one, however you’re able to) or treat your partner’s family like your own. It’s a huge financial and mental commitment.

If you’re not ready for one or the other after some time, don’t waste anymore of your precious life on the relationship.

Your relationship should be something that propels you forward. If it’s not going anywhere, make it an open relationship and call it what it is—dating multiple people.

5. You imagine a happier life without your partner.

If all you’re doing is imagining a happier life without your partner, it’s a sign that you’re in the wrong relationship. You’re unhappy and you need to get out.

Your partner should be included in your dreams. There’s nothing wrong with wanting a future with someone.

Try to remember what you dreamed of before you got your heart broken by the realities of life, love and the pursuit of human success.

Remember when you would crush on that cute kid in class? You would secretly imagine marrying him or her and going on an adventure—that’s the way life should be.

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If you’re not at least imagining adventures together, then why are you in that relationship?

6. You resent, rather than love your partner.

When a relationship starts to crumble, you begin to resent your partner for all the things you once loved about him or her.

When you’ve reached this point, your partner has reached at least No. 2 on this list. From your partner’s perspective, your unhappiness with them is picked up as bashing them for being who they are.

If you’re both unhappy in the relationship, it’s better if it ends as quickly and painlessly as possible.

7. You chase past feelings.

It’s okay to reminisce about the past, but if all you do is wish things were like they used to be, it’s a sign you’re not on the right path.

You’re unhappy and, at the very least, you need to have an open dialogue about it. This isn’t necessarily a sign that the relationship should end, but it definitely needs a spark.

When you talk to your partner candidly about what it is you’re looking for, you never know how they’ll react. The risk alone is worth it, good or bad.

Final thoughts

If you’re feeling stuck in your current relationship, it’s time to reflect about it with your partner. Don’t ignore these signs of an unhappy relationship as they will slowly go worse and harm both you and your partner in long-term.

Featured photo credit: josh peterson via unsplash.com

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