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This Mindset is Essential If You Want To Feel More Comfortable Around People

This Mindset is Essential If You Want To Feel More Comfortable Around People

Many people today struggle with some type of social anxiety whether it is related to a particular type of social situation, or it is present in any type of interaction with unfamiliar people. Being uncomfortable around people makes life a lot more complicated since in order to achieve any goal in life – personal or professional we ought to make conversations and develop relationships with others. More so, people are social beings, and it is in our DNA to want to interact with others, it is just that for some of us, it can be quite challenging at times.

The reasons we are uncomfortable around people

As mentioned earlier, we as humans are dependent upon social interactions and we essentially crave those, yet for some it may seem completely natural to express themselves in front of their close ones, while the thought of interacting with strangers seems unbearable. The fear of not being perceived by others as worthy creates a blockage in people’s thoughts preventing them from being able to think clearly, and therefore, their biggest fears come to life. The reasons may vary, but for most people the problem seems to develop out of negative self-belief. Overthinking, shyness and other side-effects have all been developed from a negative perception we have of ourselves. People who think of themselves as smart, funny, eloquent and attractive have no problem to interact with any group of people, whereas people who judge themselves too harshly often fear that others may do the same.

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A mindset to help you be more comfortable around others

Contrary to the popular belief, there are no sets of skills we need to learn that would make us more comfortable when interacting with people. Even though good listening skills, empathy and body language can be beneficial, the only way that we are ever going to be comfortable around people is if we adopt the mindset that anyone who is great in different social situations has got.

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It all comes down to how you see and believe yourself to be. Socially anxious people think that others perceive them as awkward, stupid or unattractive, or fear that they might if they start expressing themselves, when, in most cases, it is just their belief about themselves, and since they are so much focused on that perception, they tend to find evidence of that in social interactions.

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Stop caring desperately about how other people may perceive you. Look for your positive traits and focus on those, then you will see how others respond well. You will get much more confident, because over time, you will stop caring so much what others think, since you will no longer need their validation to make you feel good. Then the magic starts to happen. You get to freely involve in many more social situations, your fear of rejection or of embarrassment disappears and you stop overthinking so much, and start acting instead. Your encounters with people improve as a result, as people like to spend time with you because you are able to develop much more meaningful conversations since you are no longer only focused on what you are about to say, and as a result, you become more engaging rather than standing on the sidelines.

Even if you find yourself in an unpleasant social situation, don’t get mad or feel hurt. Don’t let it bring you down, because if you feel bad, you will start overthinking again and your confidence level will go down. Just put on a big smile and keep going. Not everybody can like you, and that’s fine. If you stop being harsh to yourself and act instead of think, people will see how confident you are and feel attracted to you and start enjoying your company.

Featured photo credit: https://unsplash.com/ via unsplash.com

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Ana Erkic

Social Media Consultant, Online Marketing Strategist, Copywriter, CEO and Co-Founder of Growato

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Last Updated on November 5, 2018

8 Powerful Reasons to Love Your Enemies

8 Powerful Reasons to Love Your Enemies

We’ve all got our enemies; people who take pleasure in causing us pain and misery. Sometimes, the development of an enemy is due to certain differences in your characters and events have led to that. Other times, some people end up hating you for apparently no reason at all.

Regardless of how you got this enemy, as opposed to the paradigm of fighting fire with fire, consider the following reasons and see why you should actually appreciate your enemies. This article will show you not only how to not be bothered by your enemies, but how to actually foster love for them.

Read on to learn the secret.

1. It’s a practical lesson in anger management

To be honest, your enemies are the best people to help you understand your sense of anger management. When it might be true that your enemies have a way of bringing out the worst in you as regards anger, it is also true that they can help you in your quest to have that anger managed. You can’t get truly angry at someone you love and it is only in that time when you get truly annoyed that you learn how to manage it.

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Anger management is more effective when it is in practice and not in theory

Your enemies are like the therapists who you need, but actually don’t want. Inasmuch as you might want to hate them, they provide you an opportunity to control the anger impulse that you have.

2. It’s an opportunity for healthy competition

You might not know it, but your enemies make for great rivals as they help harness the competitor in you (sometimes, you might not even know or bee conversant with this competitive side until you come across an adversary). You get the right motivation to compete and this can go a long way to spur you to victory.

However, while doing so, it is also essential that you remember not to become a worse version of yourself while competing. Working against an adversary is tricky, and you need to ensure that you don’t cause harm to yourself or your morals in the process. Healthy competition is all you need to get out of this.

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3. Their negative comments can help you make a breakthrough

It is true that your enemies never really have much good to say about you. However, in as much as they might be talking out of a place of hate, there might be some truth to what they’re saying.

To wit, whenever you hear something mean or nasty from an enemy, you might want to take a step back and evaluate yourself. There is a chance that what this enemy is saying is true and coming to face that fact is a major step in helping you to become a better person overall. This is another testament to the fact that enemies can be therapists in their own way.

4. Enemies can also be powerful allies

Loving your enemies can also mean making an effort to interact and make peace with them. In the end, if you are able to establish some common ground and patch things up, you’ll have succeeded in making another friend. And who doesn’t need friends?

This can also help you in working with people in the long run. You get to hone your inter-personal skills, and that can be a big plus to your ledger.

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5. It gives you the ability to realize positivity

In a multitude of negativity, a speck of positivity always seems to find its way through.

Sometimes, a knowledge of the fact that you have enemies will also help you to focus on the many positives and good things that are in your life. A lot of times, we neglect what really matters in life. This can be due to being overly concerned with the enemies we have.

However, it is also possible for this acknowledgement to spur you to take a step back and appreciate the goo things (and people who surround you).

6. There might just be a misunderstanding

Sometimes, the reason why you have an enemy might be something very innocuous. You might not have known the cause of this fractured relationship and your enemy will help complete the picture.

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Simply approaching them will help you to understand the reason for the fracture. This, in turn, can help you to work towards healing your relationship moving forward. Misunderstandings happen, and you need to be able to work around them.

7. You learn to appreciate love as well

A constant reminder of the fact that there are enemies will also help you not to take those who love you for granted. Love and hate are two opposing emotions and it is possible for one to momentarily overshadow the other.

However, while you’ll always have enemies, there will also always be people who love you. These people need to be appreciated for what they do for you. Never let the hate projected to you from your enemies take the place of that.

8. Do you really need the hate?

The truth is that enemies bring only toxic emotions and generate bad reactions from you. If you’re truly to live a prosperous life, you can’t really be carrying all this baggage around.

Hate is bad and you should try all you can to get rid of it. It is a well-known fact that nobody can get really far in life while carrying a lot of emotional baggage. Well, hate is the biggest form of emotional baggage there is.

Featured photo credit: rawpixel via unsplash.com

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