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This Mindset is Essential If You Want To Feel More Comfortable Around People

This Mindset is Essential If You Want To Feel More Comfortable Around People

Many people today struggle with some type of social anxiety whether it is related to a particular type of social situation, or it is present in any type of interaction with unfamiliar people. Being uncomfortable around people makes life a lot more complicated since in order to achieve any goal in life – personal or professional we ought to make conversations and develop relationships with others. More so, people are social beings, and it is in our DNA to want to interact with others, it is just that for some of us, it can be quite challenging at times.

The reasons we are uncomfortable around people

As mentioned earlier, we as humans are dependent upon social interactions and we essentially crave those, yet for some it may seem completely natural to express themselves in front of their close ones, while the thought of interacting with strangers seems unbearable. The fear of not being perceived by others as worthy creates a blockage in people’s thoughts preventing them from being able to think clearly, and therefore, their biggest fears come to life. The reasons may vary, but for most people the problem seems to develop out of negative self-belief. Overthinking, shyness and other side-effects have all been developed from a negative perception we have of ourselves. People who think of themselves as smart, funny, eloquent and attractive have no problem to interact with any group of people, whereas people who judge themselves too harshly often fear that others may do the same.

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A mindset to help you be more comfortable around others

Contrary to the popular belief, there are no sets of skills we need to learn that would make us more comfortable when interacting with people. Even though good listening skills, empathy and body language can be beneficial, the only way that we are ever going to be comfortable around people is if we adopt the mindset that anyone who is great in different social situations has got.

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It all comes down to how you see and believe yourself to be. Socially anxious people think that others perceive them as awkward, stupid or unattractive, or fear that they might if they start expressing themselves, when, in most cases, it is just their belief about themselves, and since they are so much focused on that perception, they tend to find evidence of that in social interactions.

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Stop caring desperately about how other people may perceive you. Look for your positive traits and focus on those, then you will see how others respond well. You will get much more confident, because over time, you will stop caring so much what others think, since you will no longer need their validation to make you feel good. Then the magic starts to happen. You get to freely involve in many more social situations, your fear of rejection or of embarrassment disappears and you stop overthinking so much, and start acting instead. Your encounters with people improve as a result, as people like to spend time with you because you are able to develop much more meaningful conversations since you are no longer only focused on what you are about to say, and as a result, you become more engaging rather than standing on the sidelines.

Even if you find yourself in an unpleasant social situation, don’t get mad or feel hurt. Don’t let it bring you down, because if you feel bad, you will start overthinking again and your confidence level will go down. Just put on a big smile and keep going. Not everybody can like you, and that’s fine. If you stop being harsh to yourself and act instead of think, people will see how confident you are and feel attracted to you and start enjoying your company.

Featured photo credit: https://unsplash.com/ via unsplash.com

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Ana Erkic

Social Media Consultant, Online Marketing Strategist, Copywriter, CEO and Co-Founder of Growato

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Last Updated on November 5, 2019

12 Powerful Habits of a Lifelong Learner

12 Powerful Habits of a Lifelong Learner

Formal education is something everyone has to go through to a certain degree, and the knowledge it offers isn’t always that practical in real life. Life long learning is how you improve as a person, bit by bit and day by day.

Life long learners recognize the importance and joy of growth so they never settle for what they currently know and always seek for improvement.

Here are 12 habits of people who value lifelong learning have in common – see how many of them you recognize in yourself.

1. They Read on a Daily Basis

Whatever problem or dilemma you currently face, there’s definitely at least one decent book that discusses it and presents a variety of solutions.

Reading is a great way to open up new horizons, train your brain and revolutionize your life. I can’t even count how many times books completely transformed the way I view the world, and it’s always a change for the better. Through reading, you can connect with successful people and learn from the lessons they share.

Life long learners love to get lost in books and do it regularly. Bill Gates knows that reading matters a lot; on his personal blog, he reviews plenty of game-changing books.

Due to technology, you can access a bookshelf of the wealthiest entrepreneur on this planet.

2. They Attend Various Courses

Whether it’s online or offline, there are countless courses you can participate in without spending a dime on it. These are great opportunities to connect with clever and like-minded people and learn from them.

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Because of the advanced technology, you can now gain knowledge from online programs, starting from coding through self-improvement to programs from top universities.

There are literally endless ways to thrive. What life long learners have in common is squeezing as much as possible out of these opportunities.

3. They Actively Seek Opportunities to Grow

Instead of spending your free time laying on the couch and watching TV, you prefer doing something creative and practical. You know every wasted minute is gone forever.

That’s why you’d rather practice your language skills with a native-speaker you’ve met, engage in local meet up or attend a class that teaches something you always wanted to learn.

Life long learners stay up-to-date with growth opportunities in their areas and participate in them frequently.

4. They Take Care of Their Bodies

“Physical fitness is not only one of the most important keys to a healthy body, it is the basis of dynamic and creative intellectual activity.” — John F. Kennedy

A clever mind combined with a body in a great condition is the best asset you can have. Our bodies were designed to run, walk, jump, swim, lift and much more. Leading a sedentary lifestyle harms both your physical and mental sphere.

Life long learners know the body is your temple. In order to make it flourish for as long as possible, they train regularly, move a lot and eat healthy.

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5. They Have Diverse Passions

Among Steve Jobs’ wise quotes, there’s one I like especially. It’s about connecting the dots:

“You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backward. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future.” — Steve Jobs

Each dot is some event or skill in your life, and it’s only when you go through these elements that you know how to combine them into something great.

Having a variety of passions indicates that you love to progress. By practicing different skills, you give yourself an advantage over the rest of the people. During hard times, you are more likely to to act intelligently and solve your problems with less effort.

6. They Love Making Progress

If behind the efforts, there is passion and a deep desire to grow, your chances of success are way higher, compared to when you are forced to learn.

Life long learners love to experience the constant growth and improvement. The breakthrough moments help them to notice the impressive change that took place because of the learning process. Any milestone serves as a driving force for further headway.

7. They Challenge Themselves with Specific Goals

In order to keep growing, you clearly define your goals. Smart goal setting is one of the tools to ensure constant growth.

Since you love challenges, a difficult goal doesn’t scare you. Quite the opposite, it keeps you motivated and engaged.

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Research showed that precise and ambitious goals increase the performance of an individual. As we already agreed, life long learners are people who care about their performance, hence they never stop improving.

8. They Embrace Change

A complete change can lead to incredible results. This is especially visible on the example of successful companies.

Oftentimes, it’s that transformation which created space for their so-called overnight success. Twitter was originally created as an internal service to serve Odeo employees. Currently, it has over 300 million monthly active users and is considered the second biggest social network.

As a life long learner, you know a change can lead to extraordinary results so you welcome it and stay open minded about making a shift.

9. They Believe It’s Never Too Late to Start Something

Some people tend to think after a certain age, they are no longer allowed to start something and become successful. The truth is, it’s just a lame excuse not to leave the comfort zone.

Opposite to common misconceptions, there’s no wrong age to begin something. Henry Ford was 45 when he invented the Ford Model T car, which is considered as the first affordable automobile.

Sure, for some domains like becoming a professional athlete, starting early is required. However, to learn and improve for its own sake, you are never too old.

10. Their Attitude to Getting Better Is Contagious

“We now accept the fact that learning is a life long process of keeping abreast of change. And the most pressing task is to teach people how to learn.” — Peter Drucker

There’s nothing better than to see your surroundings getting involved in what you actively participate in. Oftentimes, the best way to achieve that is to inspire them and be the example. As Gandhi would say, you need to be the change you want to see in the world.

As a life long learner, you are extremely passionate about the constant growth and people around you can sense that positive attitude. As a result, they start acting similarly.

11. They Leave Their Comfort Zone

Is it really better to step out of your comfort zone? The answer is always yes.

You always embrace discomfort as you know the path to success leads through hardship and countless obstacles. Instead of being afraid of facing them, you challenge yourself to overcome more and more difficult handicaps.

Every time you get out of your comfort zone, regardless whether you win or fail, you learn something new. That’s the part you love the most!

12. They Never Settle Down

“Knowledge is exploding, so you need to commit yourself to a plan for life long learning.” — Don Tapscott

A sense of being clever enough is something you don’t experience. Without a doubt, you appreciate what you already know, but that’s never a reason to stop. You just know once you stop learning, you lose the amazing privilege humans have, namely an ability to a never-ending intellectual development.

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Featured photo credit: Christin Hume via unsplash.com

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