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This Mindset is Essential If You Want To Feel More Comfortable Around People

This Mindset is Essential If You Want To Feel More Comfortable Around People

Many people today struggle with some type of social anxiety whether it is related to a particular type of social situation, or it is present in any type of interaction with unfamiliar people. Being uncomfortable around people makes life a lot more complicated since in order to achieve any goal in life – personal or professional we ought to make conversations and develop relationships with others. More so, people are social beings, and it is in our DNA to want to interact with others, it is just that for some of us, it can be quite challenging at times.

The reasons we are uncomfortable around people

As mentioned earlier, we as humans are dependent upon social interactions and we essentially crave those, yet for some it may seem completely natural to express themselves in front of their close ones, while the thought of interacting with strangers seems unbearable. The fear of not being perceived by others as worthy creates a blockage in people’s thoughts preventing them from being able to think clearly, and therefore, their biggest fears come to life. The reasons may vary, but for most people the problem seems to develop out of negative self-belief. Overthinking, shyness and other side-effects have all been developed from a negative perception we have of ourselves. People who think of themselves as smart, funny, eloquent and attractive have no problem to interact with any group of people, whereas people who judge themselves too harshly often fear that others may do the same.

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A mindset to help you be more comfortable around others

Contrary to the popular belief, there are no sets of skills we need to learn that would make us more comfortable when interacting with people. Even though good listening skills, empathy and body language can be beneficial, the only way that we are ever going to be comfortable around people is if we adopt the mindset that anyone who is great in different social situations has got.

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It all comes down to how you see and believe yourself to be. Socially anxious people think that others perceive them as awkward, stupid or unattractive, or fear that they might if they start expressing themselves, when, in most cases, it is just their belief about themselves, and since they are so much focused on that perception, they tend to find evidence of that in social interactions.

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Stop caring desperately about how other people may perceive you. Look for your positive traits and focus on those, then you will see how others respond well. You will get much more confident, because over time, you will stop caring so much what others think, since you will no longer need their validation to make you feel good. Then the magic starts to happen. You get to freely involve in many more social situations, your fear of rejection or of embarrassment disappears and you stop overthinking so much, and start acting instead. Your encounters with people improve as a result, as people like to spend time with you because you are able to develop much more meaningful conversations since you are no longer only focused on what you are about to say, and as a result, you become more engaging rather than standing on the sidelines.

Even if you find yourself in an unpleasant social situation, don’t get mad or feel hurt. Don’t let it bring you down, because if you feel bad, you will start overthinking again and your confidence level will go down. Just put on a big smile and keep going. Not everybody can like you, and that’s fine. If you stop being harsh to yourself and act instead of think, people will see how confident you are and feel attracted to you and start enjoying your company.

Featured photo credit: https://unsplash.com/ via unsplash.com

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Ana Erkic

Social Media Consultant, Online Marketing Strategist, Copywriter, CEO and Co-Founder of Growato

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Last Updated on January 18, 2019

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

Some people will have a rain cloud hanging over them, no matter what the weather is outside. Their negative attitude is toxic to your own moods, and you probably feel like there is little you can do about it.

But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

If you want to effectively deal with negative people and be a champion of positivity, then your best route is to take definite action through some of the steps below.

1. Limit the time you spend with them.

First, let’s get this out of the way. You can be more positive than a cartoon sponge, but even your enthusiasm has a chance of being afflicted by the constant negativity of a friend.

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In fact, negativity has been proven to damage your health physically, making you vulnerable to high levels of stress and even cardiac disease. There’s no reason to get hurt because of someone else’s bad mood.

Though this may be a little tricky depending on your situation, working to spend slightly less time around negative people will keep your own spirits from slipping as well.

2. Speak up for yourself.

Don’t just absorb the comments that you are being bombarded with, especially if they are about you. It’s wise to be quick to listen and slow to speak, but being too quiet can give the person the impression that you are accepting what’s being said.

3. Don’t pretend that their behavior is “OK.”

This is an easy trap to fall into. Point out to the person that their constant negativity isn’t a good thing. We don’t want to do this because it’s far easier to let someone sit in their woes, and we’d rather just stay out of it.

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But if you want the best for this person, avoid giving the false impression that their negativity is normal.

4. Don’t make their problems your problems.

Though I consider empathy a gift, it can be a dangerous thing. When we hear the complaints of a friend or family member, we typically start to take on their burdens with them.

This is a bad habit to get into, especially if this is a person who is almost exclusively negative. These types of people are prone to embellishing and altering a story in order to gain sympathy.

Why else would they be sharing this with you?

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5. Change the subject.

When you suspect that a conversation is starting to take a turn for the negative, be a champion of positivity by changing the subject. Of course, you have to do this without ignoring what the other person said.

Acknowledge their comment, but move the conversation forward before the euphoric pleasure gained from complaining takes hold of either of you.

6. Talk about solutions, not problems.

Sometimes, changing the subject isn’t an option if you want to deal with negative people, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be positive.

I know that when someone begins dumping complaints on me, I have a hard time knowing exactly what to say. The key is to measure your responses as solution-based.

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You can do this by asking questions like, “Well, how could this be resolved?” or, “How do you think they feel about it?”

Use discernment to find an appropriate response that will help your friend manage their perspectives.

7. Leave them behind.

Sadly, there are times when we have to move on without these friends, especially if you have exhausted your best efforts toward building a positive relationship.

If this person is a family member, you can still have a functioning relationship with them, of course, but you may still have to limit the influence they have over your wellbeing.

That being said, what are some steps you’ve taken to deal with negative people? Let us know in the comments.

You may also want to read: How to Stop the Negative Spin of Thoughts, Emotions and Actions.

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