Advertising
Advertising

6 Things You Shouldn’t Waste Your Time Trying To Change

6 Things You Shouldn’t Waste Your Time Trying To Change

Like most people in their late twenties do, I’ve done my fair share of soul searching as I was trying to make peace with becoming a fully functioning adult. One of the most difficult issues I had to overcome on my journey was realizing when to act and try to change things, even when the battle is simply not mine to fight.

A few months ago, I had one particularly strong eye-opening experience that involved a person I was close with. She had so much negativity and bitterness, which turned all of my efforts to shine a different light on the matter to waste. The moment of clarity and a true wake-up call came when all of my intentions were twisted and turned into something completely opposite. That is when I realized that people see things as the reflection of who they are. No matter how hard you try to help them, it is futile until they become willing to take a chance on changing perspective.

Advertising

Don’t get me wrong. Being persistent and working hard towards achieving our goals and changing things we can, is still a very much effective way to achieve anything. However, we need to be wise enough and know when to accept certain things just the way they are. Here is a list of 6 such things:

1. Not everyone will like you

No matter how harsh this may seem, it is the truth. Trying to make everyone like you will only make you invisible, as you will block your true colors from shining through the perfect masks you put according to the situation. Letting people see and know the true you, will get you friends, partners, and coworkers that are just the right match to you. Therefore, you don’t need the approval of the whole world.

Advertising

2. Guilt won’t change anything

Feeling guilty about some mistakes we made won’t make it better, it will only keep us immobilized from moving forward. Instead, we should accept and acknowledge our mistakes and learn from them, since they are here to help us grow.

3. You can’t change anyone

Any effort to change a person who is not willing to give up their destructive behavior or beliefs will only be counterproductive, since their defense mechanisms will put up a wall so great that none of our kind words can break down. The only way to help anyone is to let them be, and realize that they have their own path, and they will deal with their issues in their own time and terms.

Advertising

4. You are not immortal

Most of us put our work first and in the vicious circle of always achieving more. We forget to rest, take care of our health, and enjoy the time spent with our loved ones. We think we have all the time in the world. We must truly realize that we are not going to be on this planet forever. The sooner we actually come to terms with this truth, the sooner we will stop working our bodies out to exhaustion and start appreciating the life we are living and take care of our mental, physical and spiritual health.

5. You are only competing with yourself

Measuring your own success, wealth, and looks to those of others will only make you lose yourself in the process. You are unique, and as such you shouldn’t and can’t compete with anyone else, but your previous self. Other people’s lives shouldn’t concern you, since it is their path to take. The only thing you should be concerned about is being better than you were yesterday.

Advertising

6. You are responsible for the way you feel

Nothing anyone says or does can have any impact on us unless we let it. We can’t control other people’s thoughts or actions, but we can choose how it will affect us. Learning to not let others’ reactions affect how we feel will help us save the energy for working on self-improvement.

Featured photo credit: https://unsplash.com/ via unsplash.com

More by this author

Ana Erkic

Social Media Consultant, Online Marketing Strategist, Copywriter, CEO and Co-Founder of Growato

Who Says All Introverts Hate Socializing? Here’s The Truth About Introvert And Extrovert Every Time You Drink A Beer, Remember To Drink The Same Amount Of Water You’re Exceptionally Creative If You See The Correct Image (Only 1/100 People Can Do This!) If You Have These 6 Struggles, You’re Highly Intelligent 15 Things To Stop Doing If You Want To Be Truly Happy

Trending in Communication

1 How to Develop Mutual Respect in a Relationship 2 If Money Can’t Buy Happiness, What Can? 3 Having an Emotional Breakdown? 15 Ways to Re-Center Yourself 4 10 Simple Ways To Always Think Positive Thoughts 5 What’s the Easiest Language to Learn for English Speakers?

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on September 17, 2019

10 Simple Ways To Always Think Positive Thoughts

10 Simple Ways To Always Think Positive Thoughts

Positive thinking can lead to a lot of positive change in your life. Developing an optimistic outlook can be good for both your physical and mental health.

But sometimes, certain situations arise in life that makes it hard to keep a positive outlook. Take steps to make positive thinking become more like your second nature and you’ll reap the biggest benefits.

Here are 10 ways to make thinking positive thoughts easy:

1. Spend Time with Positive People

If you surround yourself with constant complainers, their negativity is likely to rub off on you.

Spend time with positive friends and family members to increase the likelihood that their positive thinking habits will become yours too. It’s hard to be negative when everyone around you is so positive.

Advertising

2. Take Responsibility for Your Behavior

When you encounter problems and difficulties in life, don’t play the role of the victim. Acknowledge your role in the situation and take responsibility for your behavior.

Accepting responsibility can help you learn from mistakes and prevent you from blaming others unfairly.

3. Contribute to the Community

One of the best ways to feel good about what you have, is to focus on what you have to give.

Volunteer in some manner and give back to the community. Helping others can give you a new outlook on the world and can assist you with positive thinking.

4. Read Positive and Inspirational Materials

Spend time each day reading something that encourages positive thinking. Read the Bible, spiritual material, or inspirational quotes to help you focus on what’s important to you in life. It can be a great way to start and end your day.

Advertising

Some recommendations for you:

5. Recognize and Replace Negative Thoughts

You won’t be successful at positive thinking if you’re still plagued by frequent negative thoughts. Learn to recognize and replace thoughts that are overly negative. Often, thoughts that include words like “always” and “never” signal that they aren’t true.

If you find yourself thinking something such as, “I always mess everything up,” replace it with something more realistic such as, “Sometimes I make mistakes but I learn from them.”

There’s no need to make your thoughts unrealistically positive, but instead, make them more realistic.

6. Establish and Work Toward Goals

It’s easier to be positive about problems and setbacks when you have goals that you’re working toward. Goals will give you motivation to overcome those obstacles when you encounter problems along the way. Without clear goals, it’s harder to make decisions and gauge your progress.

Advertising

Learn to set SMART goals to help you achieve more.

7. Consider the Consequences of Negativity

Spend some time thinking about the consequences of negative thinking. Often, it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

For example, a person who thinks, “I probably won’t get this job interview,” may put less effort into the interview. As a result, he may decrease his chances of getting the job.

Create a list of all the ways negative thinking impacts your life. It likely influences your behavior, your relationships, and your feelings. Then, create a list of the ways in which positive thinking could be beneficial.

8. Offer Compliments to Others

Look for reasons to compliment others. Be genuine in your praise and compliments, but offer it frequently. This will help you look for the good in other people.

Advertising

9. Create a Daily Gratitude List

If you start keeping a daily gratitude list, you’ll start noticing exactly how much you have to be thankful for. This can help you focus on the positive in your life instead of thinking about all the bad things that have happened in the day.

Getting in the habit of showing an attitude of gratitude makes positive thinking more of a habit. Here’re 40 Simple Ways To Practice Gratitude.

10. Practice Self-Care

Take good care of yourself and you’ll be more equipped to think positively.

Get plenty of rest and exercise and practice managing your stress well. Taking care of your physical and mental health will provide you with more energy to focus on positive thinking.

Learn about these 30 Self-Care Habits for a Strong and Healthy Mind, Body and Spirit.

More About Staying Positive

Featured photo credit: DESIGNECOLOGIST via unsplash.com

Read Next