Advertising
Advertising

6 Things You Shouldn’t Waste Your Time Trying To Change

6 Things You Shouldn’t Waste Your Time Trying To Change

Like most people in their late twenties do, I’ve done my fair share of soul searching as I was trying to make peace with becoming a fully functioning adult. One of the most difficult issues I had to overcome on my journey was realizing when to act and try to change things, even when the battle is simply not mine to fight.

A few months ago, I had one particularly strong eye-opening experience that involved a person I was close with. She had so much negativity and bitterness, which turned all of my efforts to shine a different light on the matter to waste. The moment of clarity and a true wake-up call came when all of my intentions were twisted and turned into something completely opposite. That is when I realized that people see things as the reflection of who they are. No matter how hard you try to help them, it is futile until they become willing to take a chance on changing perspective.

Advertising

Don’t get me wrong. Being persistent and working hard towards achieving our goals and changing things we can, is still a very much effective way to achieve anything. However, we need to be wise enough and know when to accept certain things just the way they are. Here is a list of 6 such things:

1. Not everyone will like you

No matter how harsh this may seem, it is the truth. Trying to make everyone like you will only make you invisible, as you will block your true colors from shining through the perfect masks you put according to the situation. Letting people see and know the true you, will get you friends, partners, and coworkers that are just the right match to you. Therefore, you don’t need the approval of the whole world.

Advertising

2. Guilt won’t change anything

Feeling guilty about some mistakes we made won’t make it better, it will only keep us immobilized from moving forward. Instead, we should accept and acknowledge our mistakes and learn from them, since they are here to help us grow.

3. You can’t change anyone

Any effort to change a person who is not willing to give up their destructive behavior or beliefs will only be counterproductive, since their defense mechanisms will put up a wall so great that none of our kind words can break down. The only way to help anyone is to let them be, and realize that they have their own path, and they will deal with their issues in their own time and terms.

Advertising

4. You are not immortal

Most of us put our work first and in the vicious circle of always achieving more. We forget to rest, take care of our health, and enjoy the time spent with our loved ones. We think we have all the time in the world. We must truly realize that we are not going to be on this planet forever. The sooner we actually come to terms with this truth, the sooner we will stop working our bodies out to exhaustion and start appreciating the life we are living and take care of our mental, physical and spiritual health.

5. You are only competing with yourself

Measuring your own success, wealth, and looks to those of others will only make you lose yourself in the process. You are unique, and as such you shouldn’t and can’t compete with anyone else, but your previous self. Other people’s lives shouldn’t concern you, since it is their path to take. The only thing you should be concerned about is being better than you were yesterday.

Advertising

6. You are responsible for the way you feel

Nothing anyone says or does can have any impact on us unless we let it. We can’t control other people’s thoughts or actions, but we can choose how it will affect us. Learning to not let others’ reactions affect how we feel will help us save the energy for working on self-improvement.

Featured photo credit: https://unsplash.com/ via unsplash.com

More by this author

Ana Erkic

Social Media Consultant, Online Marketing Strategist, Copywriter, CEO and Co-Founder of Growato

Who Says All Introverts Hate Socializing? Here’s The Truth About Introvert And Extrovert Every Time You Drink A Beer, Remember To Drink The Same Amount Of Water You’re Exceptionally Creative If You See The Correct Image (Only 1/100 People Can Do This!) If You Have These 6 Struggles, You’re Highly Intelligent Who Can Resist Avocado! It Is One of the Most Nutrient Fruit In The World!

Trending in Communication

110 Ways To Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone And Enjoy Taking Risks 2When You Start to Enjoy Being Single, These 12 Things Will Happen 321 Best Tips On Making A Long Distance Relationship Work 4The Skill That Most People Don’t Have: Active Listening 518 Signs You’ve Found Your Soulmate

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on August 16, 2018

10 Ways To Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone And Enjoy Taking Risks

10 Ways To Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone And Enjoy Taking Risks

The ability to take risks by stepping outside your comfort zone is the primary way by which we grow. But we are often afraid to take that first step.

In truth, comfort zones are not really about comfort, they are about fear. Break the chains of fear to get outside. Once you do, you will learn to enjoy the process of taking risks and growing in the process.

Here are 10 ways to help you step out of your comfort zone and get closer to success:

1. Become aware of what’s outside of your comfort zone

What are the things that you believe are worth doing but are afraid of doing yourself because of the potential for disappointment or failure?

Draw a circle and write those things down outside the circle. This process will not only allow you to clearly identify your discomforts, but your comforts. Write identified comforts inside the circle.

2. Become clear about what you are aiming to overcome

Take the list of discomforts and go deeper. Remember, the primary emotion you are trying to overcome is fear.

Advertising

How does this fear apply uniquely to each situation? Be very specific.

Are you afraid of walking up to people and introducing yourself in social situations? Why? Is it because you are insecure about the sound of your voice? Are you insecure about your looks?

Or, are you afraid of being ignored?

3. Get comfortable with discomfort

One way to get outside of your comfort zone is to literally expand it. Make it a goal to avoid running away from discomfort.

Let’s stay with the theme of meeting people in social settings. If you start feeling a little panicked when talking to someone you’ve just met, try to stay with it a little longer than you normally would before retreating to comfort. If you stay long enough and practice often enough, it will start to become less uncomfortable.

4. See failure as a teacher

Many of us are so afraid of failure that we would rather do nothing than take a shot at our dreams.

Advertising

Begin to treat failure as a teacher. What did you learn from the experience? How can you take that lesson to your next adventure to increase your chance of success?

Many highly successful people failed plenty of times before they succeeded. Here’re some examples:

10 Famous Failures to Success Stories That Will Inspire You to Carry On

5. Take baby steps

Don’t try to jump outside your comfort zone, you will likely become overwhelmed and jump right back in.

Take small steps toward the fear you are trying to overcome. If you want to do public speaking, start by taking every opportunity to speak to small groups of people. You can even practice with family and friends.

Take a look at this article on how you can start taking baby steps:

Advertising

The Number One Secret to Life Success: Baby Steps

6. Hang out with risk takers

There is no substitute for this step. If you want to become better at something, you must start hanging out with the people who are doing what you want to do and start emulating them. (Here’re 8 Reasons Why Risk Takers Are More Likely To Be Successful).

Almost inevitably, their influence will start have an effect on your behavior.

7. Be honest with yourself when you are trying to make excuses

Don’t say “Oh, I just don’t have the time for this right now.” Instead, be honest and say “I am afraid to do this.”

Don’t make excuses, just be honest. You will be in a better place to confront what is truly bothering you and increase your chance of moving forward.

8. Identify how stepping out will benefit you

What will the ability to engage in public speaking do for your personal and professional growth? Keep these potential benefits in mind as motivations to push through fear.

Advertising

9. Don’t take yourself too seriously

Learn to laugh at yourself when you make mistakes. Risk taking will inevitably involve failure and setbacks that will sometimes make you look foolish to others. Be happy to roll with the punches when others poke fun.

If you aren’t convinced yet, check out these 6 Reasons Not to Take Life So Seriously.

10. Focus on the fun

Enjoy the process of stepping outside your safe boundaries. Enjoy the fun of discovering things about yourself that you may not have been aware of previously.

Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

Read Next