Advertising
Advertising

6 Things You Shouldn’t Waste Your Time Trying To Change

6 Things You Shouldn’t Waste Your Time Trying To Change

Like most people in their late twenties do, I’ve done my fair share of soul searching as I was trying to make peace with becoming a fully functioning adult. One of the most difficult issues I had to overcome on my journey was realizing when to act and try to change things, even when the battle is simply not mine to fight.

A few months ago, I had one particularly strong eye-opening experience that involved a person I was close with. She had so much negativity and bitterness, which turned all of my efforts to shine a different light on the matter to waste. The moment of clarity and a true wake-up call came when all of my intentions were twisted and turned into something completely opposite. That is when I realized that people see things as the reflection of who they are. No matter how hard you try to help them, it is futile until they become willing to take a chance on changing perspective.

Advertising

Don’t get me wrong. Being persistent and working hard towards achieving our goals and changing things we can, is still a very much effective way to achieve anything. However, we need to be wise enough and know when to accept certain things just the way they are. Here is a list of 6 such things:

1. Not everyone will like you

No matter how harsh this may seem, it is the truth. Trying to make everyone like you will only make you invisible, as you will block your true colors from shining through the perfect masks you put according to the situation. Letting people see and know the true you, will get you friends, partners, and coworkers that are just the right match to you. Therefore, you don’t need the approval of the whole world.

Advertising

2. Guilt won’t change anything

Feeling guilty about some mistakes we made won’t make it better, it will only keep us immobilized from moving forward. Instead, we should accept and acknowledge our mistakes and learn from them, since they are here to help us grow.

3. You can’t change anyone

Any effort to change a person who is not willing to give up their destructive behavior or beliefs will only be counterproductive, since their defense mechanisms will put up a wall so great that none of our kind words can break down. The only way to help anyone is to let them be, and realize that they have their own path, and they will deal with their issues in their own time and terms.

Advertising

4. You are not immortal

Most of us put our work first and in the vicious circle of always achieving more. We forget to rest, take care of our health, and enjoy the time spent with our loved ones. We think we have all the time in the world. We must truly realize that we are not going to be on this planet forever. The sooner we actually come to terms with this truth, the sooner we will stop working our bodies out to exhaustion and start appreciating the life we are living and take care of our mental, physical and spiritual health.

5. You are only competing with yourself

Measuring your own success, wealth, and looks to those of others will only make you lose yourself in the process. You are unique, and as such you shouldn’t and can’t compete with anyone else, but your previous self. Other people’s lives shouldn’t concern you, since it is their path to take. The only thing you should be concerned about is being better than you were yesterday.

Advertising

6. You are responsible for the way you feel

Nothing anyone says or does can have any impact on us unless we let it. We can’t control other people’s thoughts or actions, but we can choose how it will affect us. Learning to not let others’ reactions affect how we feel will help us save the energy for working on self-improvement.

Featured photo credit: https://unsplash.com/ via unsplash.com

More by this author

Ana Erkic

Social Media Consultant, Online Marketing Strategist, Copywriter, CEO and Co-Founder of Growato

Who Says All Introverts Hate Socializing? Here’s The Truth About Introvert And Extrovert Every Time You Drink A Beer, Remember To Drink The Same Amount Of Water You’re Exceptionally Creative If You See The Correct Image (Only 1/100 People Can Do This!) If You Have These 6 Struggles, You’re Highly Intelligent 15 Things To Stop Doing If You Want To Be Truly Happy

Trending in Communication

1 Positive and Negative Reinforcement: Which Is More Effective? 2 13 Reasons Why You Should Fail Fast to Learn Fast 3 10 Things to Do If You’re Feeling Hopeless About Your Future 4 5 Ways to Help Yourself Advance Your Mental Strength 5 Feeling Like a Failure? 10 Simple Things to Help You Rise Again

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on July 3, 2020

30 Small Habits To Lead A More Peaceful Life

30 Small Habits To Lead A More Peaceful Life

In today’s world, true peace must come from within us and our own actions. Here are 30 small things you can do on a regular basis to increase your overall sense of harmony, peace, and well-being:

1. Don’t go to every fight you’re invited to

Particularly when you’re around those who thrive on chaos, be willing to decline the invitation to join in on the drama.

2. Focus on your breath

Throughout the day, stop to take a few deep breaths. Keep stress at bay with techniques such as “square breathing.” Breathe in for four counts, hold for four counts, then out for four counts, and hold again for four counts. Repeat this cycle four times.

3. Get organized and purge old items

A cluttered space often creates a cluttered spirit. Take the time to get rid of anything you haven’t used in a year and invest in organizational systems that help you sustain a level of neatness.

4. Stop yourself from being judgmental

Whenever you are tempted to have an opinion about someone else’s life, check your intentions. Judging others creates and promotes negative energy.

5. Say ‘thank you’ early and often

Start and end each day with an attitude of gratitude. Look for opportunities in your daily routine and interactions to express appreciation.

Advertising

6. Smile more

Even if you have to “fake it until you make it,” there are many scientific benefits of smiling and laughing. Also, pay attention to your facial expression when you are doing neutral activities such as driving and walking. Turn that frown upside down!

7. Don’t worry about the future

As difficult as this sounds, there is a direct connection between staying in the present and living a more peaceful life. You cannot control the future. As the old proverb goes, “Worry is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it won’t get you anywhere.” Practice gently bringing your thoughts back to the present.

8. Eat real food

The closer the food is to the state from which it came from the earth, the better you will feel in eating it. Choose foods that grew from a plant over food that was made in a plant.

9. Choose being happy over being right

Too often, we sacrifice inner peace in order to make a point. It’s rarely worth it.

10. Keep technology out of the bedroom

Many studies, such as one conducted by Brigham and Women’s Hospital, have connected blue light of electronic devices before bed to adverse sleep and overall health. To make matters worse, many people report that they cannot resist checking email and social media when their cell phone is in reach of their bed, regardless of the time.

11. Make use of filtering features on social media

You may not want to “unfriend” someone completely, however you can choose whether you want to follow their posts and/or the sources of information that they share.

Advertising

12. Get comfortable with silence

When you picture someone who is the ultimate state of peace, typically they aren’t talking.

13. Listen to understand, not to respond

So often in conversations, we use our ears to give us cues about when it is our turn to say what we want to say. Practice active listening, ask questions, process, then speak.

14. Put your troubles in a bubble

Whenever you start to feel anxious, visualize the situation being wrapped in a bubble and then picture that sphere floating away.

15. Speak more slowly

Often a lack of peace manifests itself in fast or clipped speech. Take a breath, slow down, and let your thoughtful consideration drive your words.

16. Don’t procrastinate

Nothing adds stress to our lives like waiting until the last minute.

17. Buy a coloring book

Mandala coloring books for adults are becoming more popular because of their connection to creating inner peace.

Advertising

18. Prioritize yourself

You are the only person who you are guaranteed to live with 24 hours a day for the rest of your life.

19. Forgive others

Holding a grudge is hurting you exponentially more than anyone else. Let it go.

20. Check your expectations

Presumption often leads to drama. Remember the old saying, “Expectations are premeditated resentments.”

21. Engage in active play

Let your inner child come out and have some fun. Jump, dance, play, and pretend!

22. Stop criticizing yourself

The world is a hard enough place with more than enough critics. Your life is not served well by being one of them.

23. Focus your energy and attention on what you want

Thoughts, words, and actions all create energy. Energy attracts like energy. Put out what you want to get back.

Advertising

24. Assign yourself “complaint free” days.

Make a conscious decision not to complain about anything for a whole day. It might be harder than you think and the awareness will stick with you.

25. Surround yourself with people you truly enjoy being in the company of

Personalities tend to be contagious, and not everyone’s is worth catching. Be judicious in your choices.

26. Manage your money

Financial concerns rank top on the list of what causes people stress. Take the time each month to do a budget, calculate what you actually spend and sanity check that against the money you have coming in.

27. Stop trying to control everything

Not only is your inner control freak sabotaging your sense of peace, it is also likely getting in the way of external relationships as well.

28. Practice affirmations

Repeat positive phrases that depict the life and qualities you want to attract. It may not come naturally to you, but it works.

29. Get up before sunrise

Personally witnessing the dawn brings a unique sense of awe and appreciation for life.

30. Be yourself

Nothing creates more inner discord than trying to be something other than who we really are. Authenticity breeds happiness.

Featured photo credit: man watching sunrise via stokpic.com

Read Next