Advertising
Advertising

Fathers And Daughters: How Making Time For A Daddy-Daughter Day Helps Shape Future Lives

Fathers And Daughters: How Making Time For A Daddy-Daughter Day Helps Shape Future Lives

Does fatherhood matter anymore?

Wisdom is justified by her children. What our daughters become tomorrow is very much tied to what we invest in them early on. My wife and I have decided that around 99% of the anxiety we feel in the home is the result of wanting to do something else apart from spending time with our kids. I have three little girls and a boy, all under the age of 10. They’re beautiful kids and I love them very much. But I’m also selfish. It’s a contradiction, I know, but I would often rather spend time sitting here in front of my computer blogging than spend a half an hour playing Leggo with the kids.

This is no minor matter, and I know it. Research over the years has demonstrated that the quality of father-daughter relationships invariably affects the relationships these women may likely have with men throughout their adult lives. The relationship daughters have with their fathers may also affect the ability to handle stress, as well as their self-perception.[1]

Advertising

Having worked in the mental health field for many years and, in particular, specializing in anorexia nervosa in girls and women, I am all too aware of the commonality between mental health and father-daughter relationships. With that in mind, I have tried to implement time each week where I can invest in my daughter’s lives. I’m not just killing time each Saturday when I meet with my girls. Instead, I want to invest in them a dignity and a confidence that will go with them throughout their lives.

Being a Model of Manhood

I’m aware that it’s a popular pastime to bash masculinity. Nevertheless, I want to provide my girls with the best model of decent manhood in the hope that they will love it, and look for a man who possesses those same qualities or character.[2]

I want my daughters to accept nothing less from a man than complete honesty. So, I am trying to be an honest man.

Advertising

I want my daughters to accept nothing less than a hard-working man. And so, I am trying to be a hard-working man.

Of course, I realize that my girls may decide not to marry a man at all. But as long as they’re living in this world, they are going to have to navigate and negotiate with men, and I want them to conduct those negotiations and build those relationships with confidence and integrity.

Being a Model of Intimacy

There are justifiable reasons that masculinity has received such a beating over the last few years. There is a kind of masculinity that has been dishing out abuse for way too long. In Australia, where I live, such cases are still being exposed through our own shameful, but necessary Royal Commissions. In a culture where women are often mistreated by men, a suspicion develops wherever we see intimacy between a man and a woman. This is especially true when it comes to the bond between a father and his daughter.

Advertising

For fear of recriminations, many fathers have begun to distance themselves from their daughters. This poses a dilemma for many fathers. If I am a distant or an indifferent father towards my daughter, then there’s a good chance she will marry a man who is also distant and aloof.

Young girls need intimacy. They need to know what genuine affection looks like. They need to be able to tell the difference between appropriate affection and inappropriate affection. I want to affirm my daughters in their appearance, their ability, and their intellect. A father’s mood can seriously impact his daughter’s own emotional stability and power to make good decisions. I want my daughters to know that their father loves them and I plan to show it with hugs and kisses and affirmations.

My premise is that the more I teach them what healthy intimacy and affection looks like, the more capable they will be in identifying inappropriate and abusive intimacy later on in life.

Advertising

This is what daddy-daughter day looks like in our house. Whether it’s a swim at the beach, a game of tennis, or working in the veggie garden in our backyard. Every encounter with my daughters is an opportunity to present them with the kind of qualities I want them to be drawn to later in life. Every encounter I have with my daughters is an opportunity to model true masculinity. The kind that will serve and protect and cherish.

My hope is that as they grow up and see these things in me, however imperfectly, they will learn to love them and adopt them as the standards for their own lives. I am hoping they will judge the men they meet by worthy standards that I have tried to set as a father.

But, and this is crucial, such standards will only be embraced as I take the time to be with them and they take the time to treasure them.

Reference

[1] http://www.medicaldaily.com/why-father-daughter-relationship-so-important-246744
[2] https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/inside-out/201307/how-dads-shape-daughters-relationships

More by this author

David Trounce

Business Consultant

Father and Daughter by the Sea Fathers And Daughters: How Making Time For A Daddy-Daughter Day Helps Shape Future Lives

Trending in Fatherhood

1 5 Ways to Ease Back to Work Without Nanny Anxiety 2 Paternity: 7 ways of Establishing Who Fathered Your Child 3 When Should Your Teenager Start Dating? 4 His Dad Never Spoke His Mind. He Broke Down Once He Knew Why. 5 Dad Shows His Love To Daughter In A Heartbreaking Manner

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Published on April 9, 2021

50 Single Mom Quotes On Staying Strong And Loving

50 Single Mom Quotes On Staying Strong And Loving

Being a mom is not easy. Being a single mom is even more challenging. Having children means you are on the job 24/7. Even while you are sleeping, you are still ready to wake at the slightest peep because that is what moms do.

Moms, especially single moms, need more people cheering them on. Your love and care matter to your kids. You are their superhero. I think single moms are superheroes, too.

Advertising

The quotes below are words of encouragement for all of the single moms out there. Keep up the great work! Your hard work will pay off. Someday, they will be grown up and living on their own. Your job will never truly be done as a mom, but you can pat yourself on the back today and every day for doing mom duty day in and day out.

Here are 50 single mom quotes to encourage all the single moms out there.

Advertising

  1. “Being raised by a single mother, I learned to appreciate and value independent women.”—Kenny Conley
  2. “As a single mum you’ll discover inner strengths and capabilities you never knew you had.”—Emma-Louise Smith
  3. “One thing I know for sure – this motherhood thing is not for sissies.”—Jennifer Nettles
  4. “Mothers and their children are in a category all their own. There’s no bond so strong in the entire world. No love so instantaneous and forgiving.”—Gail Tsukiyama
  5. “And one day she discovered that she was fierce and strong, and full of fire and that not even she could hold herself back because her passion burned brighter than her fears.”—Mark Anthony
  6. “She never quite leaves her children at home, even when she doesn’t take them along.”—Margaret Culkin Banning
  7. “The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any.”—Alice Walker
  8. “Everyone has inside of her a piece of good news. The good news is that you don’t know how great you can be, how much you can love, what you can accomplish, and what your potential is.”—Anne Frank
  9. “Doubt is a killer. You just have to know who you are and what you stand for.”—Jennifer Lopez
  10. “You are more powerful than you know; you are beautiful just as you are.”—Melissa Etheridge
  11. “Motherhood is the greatest thing and the hardest thing.”—Ricki Lake
  12. “You don’t take a class; you’re thrown into motherhood and learn from experience.”—Jennie Finch
  13. “If you look at what you have in life, you’ll always have more. If you look at what you don’t have in life, you’ll never have enough.”—Oprah Winfrey
  14. “I am no bird; and no net ensnares me: I am a free human being with an independent will.”—Charlotte Brontë
  15. “Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim.”—Nora Ephron
  16. “When a woman becomes her own best friend life is easier.”—Diane Von Furstenberg
  17. “If you want something said, ask a man; if you want something done, ask a woman.”—Margaret Thatcher
  18. “Women have discovered that they cannot rely on men’s chivalry to give them justice.”—Helen Keller
  19. “Successful mothers are not the ones that have never struggled. They are the ones that never give up, despite the struggles.”—Sharon Jaynes
  20. “Success, they taught me, is built on the foundation of courage, hard work, and individual responsibility. Despite what some would have us believe, success is not built on resentment and fears.”—Susana Martinez
  21. “You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.”—Maya Angelou
  22. “The question isn’t who’s going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me.”—Ayn Rand
  23. “God could not be everywhere, and therefore he made mothers.”—Rudyard Kipling
  24. “The women whom I love and admire for their strength and grace did not get that way because stuff worked out. They got that way because stuff went wrong, and they handled it. They handled it in a thousand different ways on a thousand different days, but they handled it. Those women are my superheroes.”—Elizabeth Gilbert
  25. “There will be so many times you feel like you failed. But in the eyes, ears, and mind of your child, you are a SUPER MOM.”—Stephanie Precourt
  26. “Motherhood is the ultimate call to sacrifice.”—Wangechi Mutu
  27. “We may encounter many defeats but we must not be defeated.”—Maya Angelou
  28. “A mother’s arms are more comforting than anyone else’s.”—Princess Diana
  29. “There’s no way to be a perfect mother and a million ways to be a good one.”—Jill Churchill
  30. “There’s no doubt that motherhood is the best thing in my life. It’s all that really matters.”—Courtney Cox
  31. “I realized when you look at your mother, you are looking at the purest love you will ever know.”—Mitch Albom
  32. “I have found being a mother has made me emotionally raw in many situations. Your heart is beating outside your body when you have a baby.”—Kate Beckinsale
  33. “Single moms, you are a doctor, a teacher, a nurse, a maid, a cook, a referee, a heroine, a provider, a defender, a protector, a true Superwoman. Wear your cape proudly.”—Mandy Hale
  34. “I’m not really single. I mean, I am, but I have a son. Being a single mother is different from being a single woman.”—Kate Hudson
  35. “Being a single parent is twice the work, twice the stress, and twice the tears but also twice the hugs, twice the love, and twice the pride.”—Unknown
  36. “For me, motherhood is learning about the strengths I didn’t know I had, and dealing with the fears I didn’t know existed.”—Halle Berry
  37. “A single mom tries when things are hard. She never gives up. She believes in her family, even when things are tough. She knows that above all things… a mother’s love is more than enough.”—Denice Williams
  38. “You do the best you can. Some days you feel really good about yourself and some days you don’t.”—Katie Holmes
  39. “I would say to any single parent currently feeling the weight of stereotype or stigmatization that I am prouder of my years as a single mother than of any other part of my life.”JK Rowling
  40. “Just because I am a single mother doesn’t mean I cannot be a success.”—Yvonne Kaloki
  41. “I didn’t plan on being a single mom, but you have to deal with the cards you are dealt the best way you can.”—Tichina Arnold
  42. “Nothing you do for children is ever wasted.”—Garrison Keillor
  43. “A single mom tries when things are hard. She never gives up. She believes in her family, even when things are tough. She knows that above all things, a mother’s love is more than enough.”—Deniece Williams
  44. “Motherhood has a very humanizing effect. Everything gets reduced to essentials.”—Meryl Streep
  45. “Having kids—the responsibility of rearing good, kind, ethical, responsible human beings—is the biggest job anyone can embark on.”—Maria Shriver
  46. “Mother is a verb. It’s something you do. Not just who you are.”—Cheryl Lacey Donovan
  47. “A mother’s love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity, it dates all things and crushes down remorselessly all that stands in its path.”—Agatha Christie
  48. “A mother’s arms are more comforting than anyone else’s.”—Princess Diana
  49. “The hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world.”—W.R. Wallace
  50. “Being a mother is the greatest blessing and the hardest challenge in all of life.”—Dr. Magdalena Battles

Final Thoughts

Single moms are remarkable women. They are to be respected and honored for all that they do. If you know a single mom, then share this article with them. Tell them “you are doing a great job as a single mom.” They need our encouragement and support.

They may be parenting alone, but it is good to let them know that there are people in their life who care for them. We can all be there for the single moms out there. Even if it is just to say, “keep up the great work, you are an amazing woman!”

Advertising

If you are a single mom, keep up the good work! You are amazing, and your kids are lucky to have you!

More Tips for Single Moms

Featured photo credit: Alexander Dummer via unsplash.com

Advertising

Read Next