“Whoever does not have a good father should procure one.” ~Friedrich Nietzsche
Hundreds of studies have solidified the fact that a father’s love is just as important to a child’s development as a mother’s, and sometimes more so…Advertising
Research has proven emphatically that, overall, the love — or rejection — of mothers and fathers affects kids’ behavior, self-esteem, emotional stability, and mental health. According to Ronald P. Rohner, Ph.D., director of the Center for the Study of Parental Acceptance and Rejection at the University of Connecticut, in some cases, the withdrawal of a father’s love, acceptance and presence seems to play a bigger role in their children’s’ problems with personality and psychological adjustment, delinquency, and substance abuse. And of course the transverse is also true. The presence of a father’s love boosts children’s sense of well-being and improves their emotional and physical health. …But this is common knowledge. Most people are aware and do recognize the impacts a father has on his children.
Dad’s mental state directly affects his children
Scholars from Michigan State University (MSU) conducted a study and their findings not only underscore the importance of a father’s role in the lives of his children, but it went on to to prove that dad’s overall mental state and moods have short and long term, direct effects on his children.Advertising
In the study, MSU researchers collected data from about 730 families that participated in a survey of Early Head Start programs at sites across the nation. The researchers focused their attention on discovering effects of parents’ stress and mental health problems such as depression and anxiety on their children. They found that parents stress levels and mental health issues affected how they interact with their children and, subsequently, their child’s development.
One of the most surprising findings derived from this study is that a father’s mental health has long-lasting implications that directly correlate to differences in children’s social skills (such as self-control and cooperation) by the time children reached fifth grade. In fact, a father’s depression during the toddler years is more influential on the development of a child’s social skills later in life, than are a mother’s depression or anxiety.
The study also highlighted the fact that a father’s parenting-related stress levels have a particularly harmful effect on his children’s cognitive and language development when the children are 2 to 3 years old—even in the presence of a mother’s’ positive influences. As might be expected, the father’s’ influence appears to have a stronger effect on boys’ language than girls’ language.Advertising
These empirical, evidence-based findings are a poignant reminder that every father has a responsibility to take care of his own psychological well-being in order to nurture and foster the well-being of his children.
One uplifting and positive thing that comes from this study is that we now have solid, scientific proof that dads do play as significant a role in raising children as mothers do, and that their piece of the family puzzle is crucial in helping a child learn and grow properly.
Changing dad’s mood
Parenting is a daunting and stressful undertaking–no two ways about it. Especially for new parents. Below are some ways for dad to minimize the negative impacts his foul mood can have on his kids:
- Accept the fact that you will feel stressed — Understanding and accepting that stress is a part of child rearing is key to helping reduce its impact on your mood. If you expect it and prepare for it–you can proactively minimize it’s effects on your mood and it can reduce the number of outwardly negative reactions you display.
- Learn your triggers and work to de-stress as quickly as possible — Learning and becoming in tune with yourself is one of the best things you can do for yourself. Find out what situations, thoughts or moments cause you the most stress. Can they be avoided? What can you do to avoid or minimize these moments? Take some “dad time” and engage in activities that lower your stress levels–engage in a sport or hobby, take quiet time away, take a walk on the beach or engage in forest bathing.
- Get help — If you are feeling overwhelmed or have a history of depression, anxiety or mental illness be sure to seek professional help. It is imperative for you and for your children. Consider the “airplane safety model.’ During the flight attendant’s safety speech, you are instructed to put your own oxygen mask on first and then help those around you don theirs. The message here is that you can’t help others breathe if you are suffocating.
Published on April 9, 2021
50 Single Mom Quotes On Staying Strong And Loving
Being a mom is not easy. Being a single mom is even more challenging. Having children means you are on the job 24/7. Even while you are sleeping, you are still ready to wake at the slightest peep because that is what moms do.
Moms, especially single moms, need more people cheering them on. Your love and care matter to your kids. You are their superhero. I think single moms are superheroes, too.
The quotes below are words of encouragement for all of the single moms out there. Keep up the great work! Your hard work will pay off. Someday, they will be grown up and living on their own. Your job will never truly be done as a mom, but you can pat yourself on the back today and every day for doing mom duty day in and day out.
Here are 50 single mom quotes to encourage all the single moms out there.
- “Being raised by a single mother, I learned to appreciate and value independent women.”—Kenny Conley
- “As a single mum you’ll discover inner strengths and capabilities you never knew you had.”—Emma-Louise Smith
- “One thing I know for sure – this motherhood thing is not for sissies.”—Jennifer Nettles
- “Mothers and their children are in a category all their own. There’s no bond so strong in the entire world. No love so instantaneous and forgiving.”—Gail Tsukiyama
- “And one day she discovered that she was fierce and strong, and full of fire and that not even she could hold herself back because her passion burned brighter than her fears.”—Mark Anthony
- “She never quite leaves her children at home, even when she doesn’t take them along.”—Margaret Culkin Banning
- “The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any.”—Alice Walker
- “Everyone has inside of her a piece of good news. The good news is that you don’t know how great you can be, how much you can love, what you can accomplish, and what your potential is.”—Anne Frank
- “Doubt is a killer. You just have to know who you are and what you stand for.”—Jennifer Lopez
- “You are more powerful than you know; you are beautiful just as you are.”—Melissa Etheridge
- “Motherhood is the greatest thing and the hardest thing.”—Ricki Lake
- “You don’t take a class; you’re thrown into motherhood and learn from experience.”—Jennie Finch
- “If you look at what you have in life, you’ll always have more. If you look at what you don’t have in life, you’ll never have enough.”—Oprah Winfrey
- “I am no bird; and no net ensnares me: I am a free human being with an independent will.”—Charlotte Brontë
- “Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim.”—Nora Ephron
- “When a woman becomes her own best friend life is easier.”—Diane Von Furstenberg
- “If you want something said, ask a man; if you want something done, ask a woman.”—Margaret Thatcher
- “Women have discovered that they cannot rely on men’s chivalry to give them justice.”—Helen Keller
- “Successful mothers are not the ones that have never struggled. They are the ones that never give up, despite the struggles.”—Sharon Jaynes
- “Success, they taught me, is built on the foundation of courage, hard work, and individual responsibility. Despite what some would have us believe, success is not built on resentment and fears.”—Susana Martinez
- “You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.”—Maya Angelou
- “The question isn’t who’s going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me.”—Ayn Rand
- “God could not be everywhere, and therefore he made mothers.”—Rudyard Kipling
- “The women whom I love and admire for their strength and grace did not get that way because stuff worked out. They got that way because stuff went wrong, and they handled it. They handled it in a thousand different ways on a thousand different days, but they handled it. Those women are my superheroes.”—Elizabeth Gilbert
- “There will be so many times you feel like you failed. But in the eyes, ears, and mind of your child, you are a SUPER MOM.”—Stephanie Precourt
- “Motherhood is the ultimate call to sacrifice.”—Wangechi Mutu
- “We may encounter many defeats but we must not be defeated.”—Maya Angelou
- “A mother’s arms are more comforting than anyone else’s.”—Princess Diana
- “There’s no way to be a perfect mother and a million ways to be a good one.”—Jill Churchill
- “There’s no doubt that motherhood is the best thing in my life. It’s all that really matters.”—Courtney Cox
- “I realized when you look at your mother, you are looking at the purest love you will ever know.”—Mitch Albom
- “I have found being a mother has made me emotionally raw in many situations. Your heart is beating outside your body when you have a baby.”—Kate Beckinsale
- “Single moms, you are a doctor, a teacher, a nurse, a maid, a cook, a referee, a heroine, a provider, a defender, a protector, a true Superwoman. Wear your cape proudly.”—Mandy Hale
- “I’m not really single. I mean, I am, but I have a son. Being a single mother is different from being a single woman.”—Kate Hudson
- “Being a single parent is twice the work, twice the stress, and twice the tears but also twice the hugs, twice the love, and twice the pride.”—Unknown
- “For me, motherhood is learning about the strengths I didn’t know I had, and dealing with the fears I didn’t know existed.”—Halle Berry
- “A single mom tries when things are hard. She never gives up. She believes in her family, even when things are tough. She knows that above all things… a mother’s love is more than enough.”—Denice Williams
- “You do the best you can. Some days you feel really good about yourself and some days you don’t.”—Katie Holmes
- “I would say to any single parent currently feeling the weight of stereotype or stigmatization that I am prouder of my years as a single mother than of any other part of my life.”—JK Rowling
- “Just because I am a single mother doesn’t mean I cannot be a success.”—Yvonne Kaloki
- “I didn’t plan on being a single mom, but you have to deal with the cards you are dealt the best way you can.”—Tichina Arnold
- “Nothing you do for children is ever wasted.”—Garrison Keillor
- “A single mom tries when things are hard. She never gives up. She believes in her family, even when things are tough. She knows that above all things, a mother’s love is more than enough.”—Deniece Williams
- “Motherhood has a very humanizing effect. Everything gets reduced to essentials.”—Meryl Streep
- “Having kids—the responsibility of rearing good, kind, ethical, responsible human beings—is the biggest job anyone can embark on.”—Maria Shriver
- “Mother is a verb. It’s something you do. Not just who you are.”—Cheryl Lacey Donovan
- “A mother’s love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity, it dates all things and crushes down remorselessly all that stands in its path.”—Agatha Christie
- “A mother’s arms are more comforting than anyone else’s.”—Princess Diana
- “The hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world.”—W.R. Wallace
- “Being a mother is the greatest blessing and the hardest challenge in all of life.”—Dr. Magdalena Battles
Single moms are remarkable women. They are to be respected and honored for all that they do. If you know a single mom, then share this article with them. Tell them “you are doing a great job as a single mom.” They need our encouragement and support.
They may be parenting alone, but it is good to let them know that there are people in their life who care for them. We can all be there for the single moms out there. Even if it is just to say, “keep up the great work, you are an amazing woman!”
If you are a single mom, keep up the good work! You are amazing, and your kids are lucky to have you!
More Tips for Single Moms
Featured photo credit: Alexander Dummer via unsplash.com