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How to Trust Your True Calling

How to Trust Your True Calling

The Connection

We all have a Calling. The trick is “How to Trust Your True Calling?”  A Calling starts out like a first-time meeting with someone absolutely captivating or mysterious. It’s sexier than anything you’ve ever seen. You keep bumping into your Calling here and there, but never the right time or place for an extended hook up. Then, it disappears.

A little time passes, then “BAM”, something seen, heard, smelled, touched, or tasted screams “Here’s your Calling’s number” and it feels right! You muster some courage and you make the call.

Near Misses

Unfortunately, your Calling has lousy cell reception. When it calls you, it sounds like a possessed, static breathing robot you can’t understand. Or, you connect sporadically amidst dropped calls. This becomes phone tag frustration and uncertainty about your Calling. This experience leaves you wondering if this relationship is going anywhere.

However, your Calling becomes a rock in your shoe. It irritates and nags you off and on. It won’t leave you alone. And, you can’t leave it alone. How do you get rid of life’s static and dropped calls where your Calling is concerned? The answer is getting exclusive with your Calling.

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Getting Exclusive with Your Calling

You solve your poor Calling connection and relationship trust issues by boosting your Calling’s signal in three easy steps:

#1 Same Carrier Plan

All relationships begin with the same plan of action: Fit or No Fit. You must determine if you and your Calling are a good to great fit. You must ask yourself tough questions, before getting exclusive with your Calling. These questions revolve around positive and indelible experience with your Calling that were “Good to Great”, captivating, compelling, driving, satisfying, fulfilling, enriching, helped others, etc.:

  • What internal dialog or external experiences scream this Calling is for you?
  • Do people comment on how well you two fit together?
  • Do people assume you and your Calling are together?
  • Do you feel happiest, engaged, and meaning-filled hanging out with your Calling?
  • Can you imagine your best life without your Calling?
  • Do you have a vision for your best life with your Calling dead center?

If your responses prove indelible and positive, you and your Calling are moving closer to crystal clear communication and a trusted life’s direction. Let’s talk plan upgrades for you two love birds.

#2 Upgrades

You can’t afford communications issues in a new relationship, so you’ll need to upgrade your thinking. Your brain will run old programming or negative thoughts until you proactively challenge and change them.

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Your brain operates on a closed loop system. Your loop is driven by what you say is important. It is not driven by what you WANT or NEED. It is driven by what you FOCUS ON. This focus concretes into your trusted beliefs (Good or Bad). Your beliefs shape your reality, drive your actions, and impact your results.

Not sure? Look around. Bingo – you are the sum of your decisions. It’s not what happens to us, but how you respond that shapes your life. We respond to life based on our beliefs about life. Change your beliefs – change your life. This begins with you solidifying belief in your Calling, which requires a change in your thinking.

Here’s how you will upgrade your thinking:

  1. Focus on positive inputs (affirmations, information, experiences, preferences, hope, faith, etc.) and tell your brain “Fetch my Calling”.
  2. EXPECT and ACCEPT the evidence your brain fetches, to demonstrate you are on the right track.

Your Calling’s fit will help solidify your life’s direction and best life shifts. Finally, get some insurance. Insurance against the static of your old habits, fears, and doubts. Unchecked, this static can disrupt your Calling’s communication and relationship.

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#3 Get Insurance

My first I-Phone fell into a Maryland snowbank and was never seen again. Fortunately, I had insurance. Your Calling communication and relationship needs insurance too. The insurance takes two forms: Clear Development Goals and Disciplined Behavior Management.

Clear Development Goals:

Your calling must be developed into life support for your lifestyle, based on increasingly complex goals. As life changes, you update or change your development goals accordingly.

GOAL: You believe your Calling is to be a Veterinarian. This best life has you opening a clinic and serving rural Iowa.

EXAMPLE:  Your development goals would include (1) formal education and (2) professional exposure illuminating successful rural Veterinarians in Iowa. You MUST enroll in a Veterinary Sciences program, then follow through with studying and tough choices supporting your studies.

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If you have other major life commitments (job, children, mortgage, etc.), you will re-prioritize those responsibilities around your Calling’s development. In time, your Calling will return the favor by centering everything you want around you.

Disciplined Behavior Management:

Nothing happens unless you take consistent action. 92% of New Year’s resolutions fail, because they lack a clear plan and supporting disciplines. Pursuing your calling is no different. You need goals supported by disciplined behaviors. Continuing our Veterinarian scenario:

ACTION: You would (1) FIND a mentor and (2) get direct experience from professionals directly. This reinforces your trusted belief and direction. You learn success skills from those living their Calling as successful rural Veterinarians in Iowa.

Goals and disciplined behaviors INSURE you are continuously growing in skill and knowledge. It INSURES you are forming the right behaviors needed for achieving the Veterinary expertise required for`and supporting your best life and lifestyle.

Conclusion

With all relationships, you will hit bumps in the road. You will question whether you and your Calling truly fit. This is normal, so revisit Steps 1 – 2. This will help you re-affirm your love for and belief in your Calling. In time, your Calling expertise will grow, pay your bills, fuel your happiness, serve others, and give you the life and lifestyle you desire.

Featured photo credit: Photodune via photodune.net

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John St. John

Blogger, Writer, Leadership Developer, and Purpose Coach

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Last Updated on October 17, 2019

How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

You see your partner every single day. They are the first person you talk to in the morning and the last person you kiss goodnight.

But does seeing each other day in and day out equal a healthy relationship? Not necessarily.

Spending quality time with your partner is the best way to ensure your relationship stays healthy and strong. This means going above and beyond sitting together while you watch Netflix or going out for the occasional dinner. You deserve more from your relationship – and so does your spouse!

What does quality time mean? It means spending time with your spouse without interruption. It’s a chance for you to come together and talk. Communication will build emotional intimacy and trust.

Quality time is also about expressing love in a physical way. Not sex, necessarily (but that’s great, too!) but through hand-holding, cuddling, caressing, and tickling. Studies show that these displays of affection will boost partner satisfaction.[1]

So how do you spend quality time with your partner? Here are 13 relationship tips on making the most out of your time with your partner.

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1. Recognize the Signs

If you want a healthy relationship, you have to learn how to recognize the signs that you need to spend more quality time together.

Some telltale signs include:

  • You’re always on your phones.
  • You value friendships or hobbies over quality time with your spouse.
  • You aren’t together during important events.
  • You are arguing more often or lack connection.
  • You don’t make plans or date nights.
  • You’re not happy.

If you are experiencing any of these relationship symptoms, know that quality time together can reverse the negative effects of the signs above.

2. Try New Things Together

Have you ever wanted to learn how to play an instrument or speak another language? How about skydive or ballroom dance?

Instead of viewing these as solo hobbies and interests, why not involve your partner?

Trying new activities together builds healthy relationships because it encourages spouses to rely on one another for emotional and physical support.

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Shared hobbies also promote marital friendship, and the Journal of Happiness Studies found that marital satisfaction was twice as high for couples who viewed each other as best friends.[2]

3. Schedule in Tech-Free Time

Your phone is a great way to listen to music, watch videos, and keep up-to-date with friends and family. But is your phone good for your relationship?

Many couples phone snub, or ‘phub’, one another. Studies show that phubbing can lower relationship satisfaction and increase one’s chances of depression.[3]

Reduce those chances by removing distractions when spending quality time together and showing your partner they have your full attention.

4. Hit the Gym as a Couple

One way you can spend more time together as a couple is by becoming workout partners. Studies show that couples are more likely to stay with their exercise routine if they work out together.[4] Couples also work out harder than they would solo. One study found that 95 percent of couples who work out together maintained weight loss compares to the 66 percent of singles who did.[5]

Join a gym, do at-home couples’ workouts, try couples yoga, hit the hiking trails, or get your bikes out. No matter which way you choose to exercise, these healthy activities can promote a healthy relationship.

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5. Cook Meals Together

Pop open a bottle of wine or put some romantic music on while you get busy – in the kitchen, of course!

One of the best relationship tips for spending quality time together when you both have busy schedules is to cook meals together.[6]

Spice things up and try and prepare a four-course meal or a fancy French dish together. Not only is this a fun way to spend your time together, but it also promotes teamwork.

If all goes well, you’ll have a romantic date night meal at home that you prepared with your four hands. And if the food didn’t turn out the way you’d hoped, you are guaranteed to have a laugh and create new memories together.

6. Have a Regular Date Night

Couples experience a greater sense of happiness and less stress when they are spending quality time together.[7] One of the biggest relationship tips for a healthy partnership is to include a date night in your weekly routine.

The National Marriage Project found that having a weekly date night can make your relationship seem more exciting and helps prevent relationship boredom.[8] It also lowers the probability of divorce, improves your sex life, and increases healthy communication.

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Some great ideas for what to do on your date night include:

  • Have a movie marathon – Gather up your favorite flicks and cuddle up on the couch.
  • Play games together – Cards, board games, video games, and other creative outlets are a fun way to spend quality time together.
  • Recreate your first date – Go back to that restaurant and order the same meal you did when you first got together. You can spice up your evening by pretending you’re strangers meeting for the first time and see how sexy the night gets.
  • Plan a weekend getaway – There’s nothing better than traveling with the one you love.
  • Dinner and a movie – A classic!
  • Try a new restaurant – Make it your mission to rate and try all of the Mexican restaurants/Irish pubs/Italian trattorias in your area.
  • Have a long sex session – Intimacy promotes the release of the oxytocin hormone which is responsible for a myriad of great feelings.[9]

Here’re even more date night ideas for your reference: 50 Unique and Really Fun Date Ideas for Couples

Final Thoughts

The benefits of spending quality time together are endless. Here are just some of the ways it can contribute to a healthy relationship:

  • Improves emotional and physical intimacy
  • Lowers divorce rates
  • Improves communication
  • Reduces marital boredom
  • Bonds couples closer
  • Improves friendship
  • Boosts health
  • Reduces stress

These are all excellent reasons to start making date night a regular part of your week.

It’s easy to have a healthy relationship when you set aside dedicated time to share with your spouse. Try new things together, make your spouse your workout buddy, and look for innovative ways to be close and connected.

These relationship tips will bring great benefits to your marriage.

Featured photo credit: Allen Taylor via unsplash.com

Reference

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