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Why You Should Cherish People Who Hold You To A Higher Standard

Why You Should Cherish People Who Hold You To A Higher Standard

Have you ever stopped and thought about the people in your life? Are they all the same sorts of people? How do they influence what you do or how you think about yourself and the world around you? It’s often quoted that we are the average of the five people we spend our time with, so what kind of people do you choose to be around?

Have you ever considered that the quality of your life and the quality of your work are a direct result of the standards you have for yourself and the standards of those around you?

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Do You Think About Who You Spend The Most Time With?

Most of us pick up friends out of proximity to where we are at a particular time. Whether they are friends we know from school, work, or the activities we do most, we tend to choose to spend the most time with people we see easily on a regular basis.

Not only that but, as humans, we always want to make friends and spend time with people that praise, appreciate, and recognize us. This seems obvious because we all want to feel loved and accepted without any hassle or feelings of criticism, but is this helping our growth and development as a person?

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Why The “Harsh” Friend Is Better For You Than You Think

Shying away from people that are seen as harsh or critical might be doing you more harm than good. This isn’t about spending time with selfish, manipulative, and hurtful people we all encounter from time to time, instead it’s about surrounding yourself with friends that tell you the honest truth and who don’t feel the need to sugarcoat their opinions – especially when they feel it will encourage you to grow.

These are the people who are actually holding you to a higher standard. They are the people who believe you can do better, who believe in you to do better. They are the ones who always have your best interests at heart and steer you into a direction that you might not have seen or wanted to see.

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I always had the same group of friends who I loved – they would tell me how great I was, they always agreed with my opinions, they always told me I looked beautiful without makeup when I felt insecure in myself. But there was always one friend who challenged what I said, would give me their honest opinion that I would sometimes interpret as harsh, condescending, or critical, but as a result I never felt so close with her.

As I got older, I soon realized that what she was doing wasn’t critical, it was just that I wasn’t used to hearing the truth and I wasn’t used to being challenged. I saw it as a knock to my ego rather than an opportunity for growth.

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Why You Should Surround Yourself With People Who Have Higher Standards Than You

If you want to improve and succeed in your life, whether personally or in your career, surrounding yourself with people who hold you to a higher standard can do more wonders for your self-improvement and personal growth than you realize. These people aren’t the ones we should avoid or escape from, but instead we should cherish them for the unexpected growth they can provide us with.

So, don’t neglect those that love us dearly and tell us everything we want to hear, but also don’t neglect the people in our lives that sometimes tell us what we don’t want to hear. Your life is a reflection of your standards and how much you develop yourself can simply be  down to who you are venting your opinions to and who is telling you honestly how things really are.

Don’t let your ego get in the way of facing your limiting beliefs, limited perspectives about yourself, and what you’re capable of. Cherish those that elevate your thinking and energy. Don’t take what they say to heart but rather, take what they say mindfully and consider using it to push yourself and raise your game. They are not there to criticize, they are there to teach you something about yourself you weren’t aware of.

Featured photo credit: unsplash.com via pexels.com

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Jenny Marchal

Freelance Writer

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Last Updated on November 15, 2018

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

What do you think it takes to achieve your goals? Hard work? Lots of actions? While these are paramount to becoming successful in reaching our goals, neither of these are possible without a positive mindset.

As humans, we naturally tend to lean towards a negative outlook when it comes to our hopes and dreams. We are prone to believing that we have limitations either from within ourselves or from external forces keeping us from truly getting to where we want to be in life. Our tendency to think that we’ll “believe it when we see it” suggests that our mindsets are focused on our goals not really being attainable until they’ve been achieved. The problem with this is that this common mindset fuels our limiting beliefs and shows a lack of faith in ourselves.

The Success Mindset

Success in achieving our goals comes down to a ‘success mindset’. Successful mindsets are those focused on victory, based on positive mental attitudes, empowering inclinations and good habits. Acquiring a success mindset is the sure-fire way to dramatically increase your chance to achieve your goals.

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The idea that achieving our goals comes down to our habits and actions is actually a typical type of mindset that misses a crucial point; that our mindset is, in fact, the determiner of our energy and what actions we take. A negative mindset will tend to create negative actions and similarly if we have a mindset that will only set into action once we see ‘proof’ that our goals are achievable, then the road will be much longer and arduous. This is why, instead of thinking “I’ll believe it when I see it”, a success mindset will think “I’ll see it when I believe it.”

The Placebo Effect and What It Shows Us About The Power of Mindset

The placebo effect is a perfect example of how mindset really can be powerful. In scientific trials, a group of participants were told they received medication that will heal an ailment but were actually given a sugar pill that does nothing (the placebo). Yet after the trial the participants believed it’s had a positive effect – sometimes even cured their ailment even though nothing has changed. This is the power of mindset.

How do we apply this to our goals? Well, when we set goals and dreams how often do we really believe they’ll come to fruition? Have absolute faith that they can be achieved? Have a complete unwavering expectation? Most of us don’t because we hold on to negative mindsets and limiting beliefs about ourselves that stop us from fully believing we are capable or that it’s at all possible. We tend to listen to the opinions of others despite them misaligning with our own or bow to societal pressures that make us believe we should think and act a certain way. There are many reasons why we possess these types of mindsets but a success mindset can be achieved.

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How To Create a Success Mindset

People with success mindsets have a particular way of perceiving things. They have positive outlooks and are able to put faith fully in their ability to succeed. With that in mind, here are a few ways that can turn a negative mindset into a successful one.

1. A Success Mindset Comes From a Growth Mindset

How does a mindset even manifest itself? It comes from the way you talk to yourself in the privacy of your own head. Realising this will go a long way towards noticing how you speak to yourself and others around you. If it’s mainly negative language you use when you talk about your goals and aspirations then this is an example of a fixed mindset.

A negative mindset brings with it a huge number of limiting beliefs. It creates a fixed mindset – one that can’t see beyond it’s own limitations. A growth mindset sees these limitations and looks beyond them – it finds ways to overcome obstacles and believes that this will result in success. When you think of your goal, a fixed mindset may think “what if I fail?” A growth mindset would look at the same goal and think “failures happen but that doesn’t mean I won’t be successful.”

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There’s a lot of power in changing your perspective.

2. Look For The Successes

It’s really important to get your mind focused on positive aspects of your goal. Finding inspiration through others can be really uplifting and keep you on track with developing your success mindset; reinforcing your belief that your dreams can be achieved. Find people that you can talk with about how they achieved their goals and seek out and surround yourself with positive people. This is crucial if you’re learning to develop a positive mindset.

3. Eliminate Negativity

You can come up against a lot of negativity sometimes either through other people or within yourself. Understanding that other people’s negative opinions are created through their own fears and limiting beliefs will go a long way in sustaining your success mindset. But for a lot of us, negative chatter can come from within and these usually manifest as negative words such as can’t, won’t, shouldn’t. Sometimes, when we think of how we’re going to achieve our goals, statements in our minds come out as negative absolutes: ‘It never works out for me’ or ‘I always fail.’

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When you notice these coming up you need to turn them around with ‘It always works out for me!’ and ‘I never fail!’ The trick is to believe it no matter what’s happened in the past. Remember that every new day is a clean slate and for you to adjust your mindset.

4. Create a Vision

Envisioning your end goal and seeing it in your mind is an important trait of a success mindset. Allowing ourselves to imagine our success creates a powerful excitement that shouldn’t be underestimated. When our brain becomes excited at the thought of achieving our goals, we become more committed, work harder towards achieving it and more likely to do whatever it takes to make it happen.

If this involves creating a vision board that you can look at to remind yourself every day then go for it. Small techniques like this go a long way in sustaining your success mindset and shouldn’t be dismissed.

An Inspirational Story…

For centuries experts said that running a mile in under 4 minutes was humanly impossible. On the 6th May 1954, Rodger Bannister did just that. As part of his training, Bannister relentlessly visualised the achievement, believing he could accomplish what everyone said wasn’t possible…and he did it.

What’s more amazing is that, as soon as Bannister achieved the 4-minute mile, more and more people also achieved it. How was this possible after so many years of no one achieving it? Because in people’s minds it was suddenly possible – once people knew that it was achievable it created a mindset of success and now, after over fifty years since Bannister did the ‘impossible’, his record has been lowered by 17 seconds – the power of the success mindset!

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