Advertising
Advertising

3 Life Lessons You Can Learn From Taking Care Of Elders

3 Life Lessons You Can Learn From Taking Care Of Elders

What can you do when you are broke, you’ve lost all your hope in landing a decent job and your life is literally falling into pieces?

Most people just take a couple of days and rethink their entire existence, planning their next step; the step that is going to put them back on track. But I know someone who took one of the biggest challenges you could think of: my friend got hired at an elders caring facility.

He’s been working there for less than one year, but when I met him I noticed how much he changed. He is not the same guy, even if he still wears red sneakers and he puts his baseball cap in reverse. He is a changed man. He made me realize that working in healthcare is a rewarding and character-building activity, which leaves a strong mark on anyone who is daring enough to take up this huge responsibility. That elderly care facility turned my friend, who was a mamma’s boy, a spoiled, winning kid, into a real man. He’s not a kid anymore, he’s a man!

Advertising

From a broke e-cig addict to a responsible adult

My friend, let’s call him A, finished his studies with a major in Art and tried to secure a job, but failed each time. He worked as a dishwasher, he walked dogs, he even worked as a real estate agent’s assistant. But he was kicked out from all these jobs. Without perspectives, he moved back to his small town and started to look for a job. Any job! He found a job in healthcare, at a medical facility, no experience needed.

After the interview and all the check-ups, he landed at an assisted living house, where he is taking care of senior people. Despite the fact that all his other colleagues have a degree in gerontology or at least a degree in healthcare administration, my friend was accepted and he actually enjoys his work.

He makes sure none of the 60 seniors falls while moving around, he gives occasional haircuts, he makes sure everyone is well fed and wash. Then, he takes his time to learn from them, by simply being their companion, which taught him important life lessons.

Advertising

1.You learn to care more

Elders care more than millennials and younger generations are capable of caring. While working with elders and being around them daily, you simply learn that the small things are important in life. That is what makes one care about his life, other people’s life and the environment.

When you care, you go that extra mile without feeling you’ve done it. You listen, you really listen, when you care, which comes with a huge advantage both in your personal life and your professional life.

2. You learn to value humans and human interaction

Millennials are good at technology, but this has made us more like robots. We text, we send emoticons and we know how to chat over the latest apps, but we have no idea what to do when we are face to face with another human, without a phone.

Advertising

This lack of human interaction made young generations insensitive to fellow humans. Working with living people who can share loads of stories with you, as well as hugs, is going to make you value humans more than you value your smartphone. You are going to become a real human again, stripped of all the technology that surrounds us daily. This is going to improve your social skills, which will benefit your relationships.

3. Life is a struggle

When you take care of seniors, they will share with you, their own struggles of life. As millennials, we have a lot to endure, from the fact we can’t afford a house to the inability to secure a high-paying job and to raise kids. But when you listen to what older generations had to endure, you realize life is a struggle for everyone.

My friend’s new senior friends had to deal with wars, the threat of nuclear apocalypse and economic depression. Despite all these, they managed to raise kids and have successful careers.

Advertising

They are the living proof that us, the millennials, are going to thrive, even if some of us now seem to hit the rock bottom. Yes, we are in a huge student debt, which is a new challenge, but our grandparents also had to deal with the atomic bomb, which was a new challenge at the time.

In conclusion, life is a struggle for everyone, so just go out there and fight. You will manage to craft yourself a beautiful life, just like our elders did.

Featured photo credit: Unsplash via hd.unsplash.com

More by this author

20 Healthy And Tasty Vegan Breakfasts That Bring You Enough Protein 6 Things You Learn From Winter Camping The Ultimate Moving Guide For An Easy Move 6 Reasons You Should Date A Gamer (Girl or Boy) Proven Benefits Of Having A Beard All Men Need To Know About

Trending in Communication

1 How to Let Go of Toxic People in Your Life 2 The Power of a Positive Environment on Your Everyday Life 3 9 Simple Ways to Always Stay Positive 4 How to Cope with Empty Nest Syndrome and Be Happy Again 5 How to Reinvent Yourself and Change Your Life

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on July 15, 2020

How to Let Go of Toxic People in Your Life

How to Let Go of Toxic People in Your Life

“Entitlement is an expression of conditional love. Nobody is ever entitled to your love. You always have a right to protect your mental, emotional, and physical well-being by removing yourself from toxic people and circumstances.” -Dr. Janice Anderson & Kiersten Anderson

It’s not always obvious if you have someone toxic in your life. A toxic relationship is one that is harmful to you. A toxic person can create distress to the degree you feel inadequate and isolated. So, what makes a toxic person?

A toxic person has toxic behavior, meaning it’s not that the whole person is toxic[1]. It’s what they do that counts. Most toxic people run from accountability and misrepresent reality to you. They misrepresent your worth and your ability to heal from them can be stifled the longer you keep them in your life. You have a role to play with it as well; if your values are dismissed by them and you don’t act on it, you have allowed room for toxicity to grow.

When you are in a toxic relationship, you feel less than. You feel as though you are not worth anyone’s time or effort. You feel unheard, and sometimes you feel unsafe. You don’t feel good about yourself in a toxic relationship, whether it be with a partner, friend, or family member.

You may stay in a toxic relationship for a number of reasons. You may believe yourself to be a burden, have a lack of boundaries, resist change, fear conflict, try to be a people pleaser, find yourself codependent, or are partially stuck in a pattern or unhealthy cycle of abuse.

Letting go of toxic people may not be easy. In order to do so, you have to know why or how they are toxic to you and read between the lines that they do not have your best interests in mind.

Advertising

Letting go of toxic people is hard because you are good and want to see the good in others. You think their apologies are authentic. You have trouble believing they are being dishonest. You don’t spend time healing from it. You get pulled back into the pain because you don’t want it to end. However, if you feel like something isn’t right, it probably isn’t right.

You should walk away from a toxic person because you need to preserve your peace. You need to feel like yourself again. And you need better support.

Letting go of toxic people can involve four major steps.

1. Recognize the Red Flags

Red flags are signs a person is being toxic. It’s when someone shows characteristics that you should feel caution about. It’s when you feel any level of dissatisfaction and distrust. Trust your gut. When you recognize red flags, you can evaluate whether a person is trying to manipulate you or not. This gives you some level of control over what you allow in your life. The earlier you detect these behaviors, the better off you will be.

Red flags can include:

  • They always put themselves first.
  • They point out imperfections and sabotage your self-esteem.
  • You may feel drained or used when you’re around them.
  • What you give isn’t reciprocated. They don’t return the goodness you provide as a friend.
  • They ignore your boundaries and get angry when you tell them “no.”
  • You catch them in half truths or outright lies when you confront them about anything.
  • You are the villain; they are the victim.
  • Second chances always lead to repeated patterns of behavior.
  • They may engage in abuse.

2. Set Boundaries

There are emotional boundaries that one can set, but there are also physical ones[2]. You can leave any time. Setting boundaries is also an important part of self-care.

Advertising

You shouldn’t walk on eggshells. Tell them how you feel. Are they respecting you, fulfilling your needs, and listening to you? If not, it’s time to set up a healthy emotional distance and start letting go of toxic people around you.

There are levels to this. You have your inner circle, which could include family, and then you have acquaintances and strangers. If a toxic person is in your inner circle, it’s time to pull back and put up some boundaries for them to follow. If they can’t hear you out, you can cut off the connection completely.

You can give second chances, but you have to be careful. If someone knows they can get away with something, they will do it again. If there’s any chance for the relationship, they have to know not to cross certain lines.

3. Invest in Yourself

You deserve to know you are worthwhile. Try to remember that things will get better and that anything is possible. How do you do so? Invest in yourself.

This means self care, goal setting, surrounding yourself with positive support, and feeling a sense of peace. Your greatest ambition should be to love yourself. Without self-love, letting go of toxic people will be difficult.

Every relationship is a risk, but if you know yourself and what you will allow, toxic people will have less of a hold over you. If you are a giver or people pleaser, you are most at risk to being in a one-sided relationship. You shouldn’t be punished for caring, but sometimes trust needs to be earned. If you have self-love, you are treating yourself the best way possible. You know that others need to meet your standards; otherwise, they don’t get to be a part of your life.

Advertising

It’s possible that you can love yourself and still not see the signs. It can be difficult for some to be aware that toxic people exist. However,, if you know how much you mean to others in your life and what you are worth, you will be less likely to take on a relationship that is harmful to you or repeat negative patterns. Self-love is how we get out of toxic relationships, but it’s also how they never begin.

4. Know When Forgiveness Is Possible

There are times a person will prove their worth to you. They may make a mistake that makes them seem like a horrible person. They may forget to be good to you because of their own issues. They may just have no example of what a healthy relationship looks like. They may have an inflated ego that really comes from insecurity. The list goes on.

If they apologize, that’s a start. Look at their actions. Are they changing for the better because they really want to change or just seeming to in order to manipulate you? A person may control others with their image or perceived personality, but if you see through them, you may be able to discern the degree to which they are willing to be there for you.

If they start to do the right thing, you may begin to trust them again. Don’t start forgiving them until time has passed and you are sure there is growth, even if they show vulnerability or remorse. You can give a second chance if they truly have an awakening. Otherwise, it’s best to get out. Don’t let them walk all over you; let them walk out the door.

If you do give a second change and they still refuse to change, you have every right to remove them and continue the process of letting go of toxic people. The moment you even want to leave may also be a good time to get out. You don’t have to compromise yourself in order to care for them.

Forgiveness is the release of resentment or anger[3]. Forgiveness doesn’t mean reconciliation. You have to go back to the same relationship or accept the same harmful behaviors from someone. You don’t have to let them back in. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.

Advertising

Remember, forgiveness is ultimately for you, not them. You don’t need that person in your life in order to forgive them, and if you give them a second chance, proceed with caution.

Final Thoughts

Recognize the red flags, set boundaries, invest in yourself, and know when forgiveness is possible. This is how you cope with a toxic person impacting your life. You have power in the direction of your life and the people who accompany you as you move forward. Use it.

If a person is worthwhile, they will prove themselves through their actions, not their words. If they cross certain lines that really harm you, you owe them nothing. You have every right to feel what you feel and to be upset. Honor your feelings and communicate them because it’ll only continue to keep happening if you don’t.

If this is happening to you, it’s time to put a stop to it. It’s time to take control. It’s time to live for yourself, not for what others say about you. It’s time to set your standards higher than they’ve ever been before. And most of all, it’s time to let go.

Resource reminder: A physically abusive relationship is ALWAYS toxic. There are resources for you. Always speak up.

If you are in such a cycle or domestic violence or abuse reach out for help. For example, there is The National Domestic Violence Hotline (https://www.thehotline.org/) which can be reached at 1−800−799−7233. There are other ways to get help if you simply ask for it. 

More Tips on Letting Go of Toxic People

Featured photo credit: Hannah Busing via unsplash.com

Reference

Read Next