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Possibly The Greatest Lifehack No One Talks About

Possibly The Greatest Lifehack No One Talks About

This post was both an easy and challenging one to write. I have written many pieces on productivity systems and habits that I use in my life but nothing like this.

Recently I was thinking and I realized I missed one of the most influential life hacks to impact my overall performance. I did a quick search and realized, almost nobody else really talks about this as a productivity or life hack either. Yet, it is all over society in successful entrepreneurs, executives, politicians you name it.

I think it is time.

The perfect spouse or partner can be the greatest life hack

A few years back I met the women who would go on to be my wife. She was very driven and busy in her own career, but given I was right in the midst of my own personal growth journey, I was up for the challenge.  It can be intimidating and difficult to pursue a partner like this. It requires a lot of patience, but is it worth it?

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Absolutely! She has helped shape and guide me in so many ways and together we have formed an amazing partnership. Some of my strong points are some of her weak points. On the other hand, my weak points are some of her strongest points. Together it creates a stronger version of both of us. Since we’ve been together we’ve traveled countless times, advanced our careers, strengthened our bond and recently picked up and moved our lives from Toronto to San Francisco.

Society tends to portray marriage as being tied down, especially from a guy’s perspective. You always hear the same jokes at bachelor parties. “You know it’s not too late to back out!”

Finding the right partner isn’t about becoming tied down. Instead, I personally feel it can help upgrade you to the next level.

Being able to work at 120% instead of 100%

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    My wife and I at Victoria Peak, Hong Kong.

    The image of the grinding entrepreneur we typically have is a lone man or women, on their laptop in a coffee shop or some exotic location. A lot of people chase this dream, I am also attracted to it but I want to crush the idea that you need to do it alone.

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    Finding the right partner isn’t going to drain you of your time or results but can actually help amplify you. They become an extension of you. Imagine being able to work at 120% instead of 100%. This is what surrounding you with the right partner can do. It’s about finding someone who constantly challenges you and motivates you to become your best.

    Having your own consultant

    Someone who will say “this is good, but you can do better”.  They inspire you with their own drive and ambition and it completely rubs off on you. Your partner will be the person you spend the majority of your time with. There should be an abundance of positive and motivating energy and this can keep you going, keep you focused and driven in times.

    They can provide amazing insight and viewpoints to problems or ideas you may never have gotten on your own. It’s like having your own consultant and editor right by your side.

    The business partner of your life

    Your spouse among many other things is the business partner of your life. If you are working on creating a new startup or project and your vision is not aligned with your business partner, it is probably not going to work. We see this all the time in the business world.

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    The same holds true for your spouse.

    For example, my wife and I are both fanatical about how we take care of our bodies, nutrition and fitness wise. We know that we probably wouldn’t work out with someone who doesn’t have the same level of obsession and importance we place on it. If you’re not on the same page, with the same vision it’s not really possible to be that loving, supporting motivator and challenger you want in a partner.

    Does this mean everything is sunshine and rainbows?

    No. You are going to spend a ton of time with this person and having the occasional argument is bound to happen.

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    Arguments can be productive

    It’s like backpacking Europe with a best friend for a couple months. We all know at some point you’re totally going to clash for a day or two, but after that, you’ll be back to being best friends.

    Arguments can be productive though and can help push both of you forward. If I had a check list of what to look for in a partner it would probably look like the following.

    • Does this person challenge you to always be better?
    • Do they inspire you to become your best self?
    • Do they have their own drive and ambition?
    • Do your core values align?

    Note that I purposely didn’t mention anything about love or romance here. While there are a ton of other aspects of finding an amazing spouse (and these are obviously needed), I only wanted to dive into what I consider to be a much-overlooked part. I’ve personally seen a number of relationships end because one partner set out on a journey to improve their self and the other partner either wasn’t supportive or interested.  Answering the questions above, I feel, may help prevent that before it ever occurs.

    Having an amazing spouse is also having an amazing business partner for life. If the checklist above lines up and the love and romance is there, then you have probably without even knowing it stumbled upon one of the greatest life hacks there is.

    Featured photo credit: Shutterstock 165529670 via shutterstock.com

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    Paul Milano

    Helping others build a powerfully productive life

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    Last Updated on December 9, 2019

    5 Simple Ways to Relieve Stress Effectively

    5 Simple Ways to Relieve Stress Effectively

    Everyone experiences mental stress at one time or another. Maybe you’re starting a new career, job, or business, or you feel incredibly overwhelmed between work, parenting, and your love life (or a lack of it). It could even be that you simply feel that you have way too much to do and not enough time to do it,  plus, on top of everything, nothing seems to be going the way it should!

    Yup, we all experience mental stress from time-to-time, and that’s okay as long as you have the tools, techniques and knowledge that allow you to fully relieve it once it comes.

    Here are 5 tips for relieving mental stress when it comes so you can function at your best while feeling good (and doing well) in work, love, or life:

    1. Get Rationally Optimistic

    Mental stress starts with your perception of your experiences. For instance, most people get stressed out when they perceive their reality as “being wrong” in some way. Essentially, they have a set idea of how things “should be” at any given moment, and when reality ends up being different (not even necessarily bad), they get stressed.

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    This process is simply a result of perception and can be easily “fixed” by recognizing that although life might not always be going as YOU think it should, it’s still going as it should—for your own benefit.

    In fact, once you fully recognize that everything in your life ultimately happens for your own growth, progress, and development—so you can achieve your goals and dreams—your perception works in your favor. You soon process and respond to your experience of life differently, for your advantage. That’s the essence of becoming “rationally optimistic.”

    The result: no more mental stress.

    2. Unplug

    Just like you might need to unplug your computer when it starts acting all crazy, you should also “unplug” your mind.

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    How on earth do you unplug your mind? Simple: just meditate.

    It isn’t nearly difficult or complicated as some people think, so, if you don’t already meditate, give it a try. Whether you meditate for 5 minutes, 30 minutes, or 2 hours, this is a surefire way to reduce mental stress.

    Meditation has been scientifically proven to relax your body (resulting in less mental stress), while also reducing anxiety and high blood pressure.

    3. Easy on the Caffeine

    Yes, we know, we know—everyone loves a nice java buzz, and that’s okay, but there’s a fine line between a small caffeine pick-me-up and a racing heart and mind that throws you into a frenzy of mental stress.

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    Try giving up caffeine for a while and see how you feel. And, if that’s completely out of the question for you, at least try to minimize it. You might find that lots of your mental stress mysteriously “disappears” as your caffeine intake goes down.

    4. Attack Mental Stress Via the Back Door

    That’s right: your body and mind are part of the whole being, and are constantly influencing and affecting each other. If you’re experiencing a lot of mental stress, try to reduce it by calming your body down—a calm body equals a calmer mind.

    How do you calm your body down and reduce physical stress? A  great way to reduce physical stress (thereby reducing mental stress) is to take natural supplements that are proven to reduce stress and anxiety while lifting your mood. Three good ones to look into are kava-kava, St John’s wort, and rhodiola rosea:

    • Kava-kava is a natural plant known to have mild sedative properties, and you should be able to find it at your natural health food store or vitamin store. It’s available in capsules or liquid extract form.
    • St John’s wort is a natural flower used to treat depression. Again, it’s found at your local health store in capsules or liquid. Because it uplifts mood (enabling you to see the brighter side of all experiences) it helps relieve mental stress as well.
    • Rhodiola rosea is a natural plant shown to reduce stress and uplift mood, and Russian athletes have been using it forever. Like the other two supplements mentioned, rhodiola rosea can be found at your natural health store in capsule or liquid form.

    While these supplements are all natural and can be very helpful for most people, always check with your health care provider first as they can cause side-effects depending on your current health situation etc.

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    5. Good Old-Fashioned Exercise

    This tip has been around forever because it works. Nothing relieves mental stress like running, kickboxing—you name it. Anything super-physical will wipe out most of your mental stresses once the exercise endorphins (happy chemicals) are released into your brain.

    The result: mental stress will be gone!

    So, if you’re feeling overwhelmed or just plain stressed, try using some of the above tips. You can even print this out or save it to refer to regularly.

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    Featured photo credit: Radu Florin via unsplash.com

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