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Possibly The Greatest Lifehack No One Talks About

Possibly The Greatest Lifehack No One Talks About

This post was both an easy and challenging one to write. I have written many pieces on productivity systems and habits that I use in my life but nothing like this.

Recently I was thinking and I realized I missed one of the most influential life hacks to impact my overall performance. I did a quick search and realized, almost nobody else really talks about this as a productivity or life hack either. Yet, it is all over society in successful entrepreneurs, executives, politicians you name it.

I think it is time.

The perfect spouse or partner can be the greatest life hack

A few years back I met the women who would go on to be my wife. She was very driven and busy in her own career, but given I was right in the midst of my own personal growth journey, I was up for the challenge.  It can be intimidating and difficult to pursue a partner like this. It requires a lot of patience, but is it worth it?

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Absolutely! She has helped shape and guide me in so many ways and together we have formed an amazing partnership. Some of my strong points are some of her weak points. On the other hand, my weak points are some of her strongest points. Together it creates a stronger version of both of us. Since we’ve been together we’ve traveled countless times, advanced our careers, strengthened our bond and recently picked up and moved our lives from Toronto to San Francisco.

Society tends to portray marriage as being tied down, especially from a guy’s perspective. You always hear the same jokes at bachelor parties. “You know it’s not too late to back out!”

Finding the right partner isn’t about becoming tied down. Instead, I personally feel it can help upgrade you to the next level.

Being able to work at 120% instead of 100%

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    My wife and I at Victoria Peak, Hong Kong.

    The image of the grinding entrepreneur we typically have is a lone man or women, on their laptop in a coffee shop or some exotic location. A lot of people chase this dream, I am also attracted to it but I want to crush the idea that you need to do it alone.

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    Finding the right partner isn’t going to drain you of your time or results but can actually help amplify you. They become an extension of you. Imagine being able to work at 120% instead of 100%. This is what surrounding you with the right partner can do. It’s about finding someone who constantly challenges you and motivates you to become your best.

    Having your own consultant

    Someone who will say “this is good, but you can do better”.  They inspire you with their own drive and ambition and it completely rubs off on you. Your partner will be the person you spend the majority of your time with. There should be an abundance of positive and motivating energy and this can keep you going, keep you focused and driven in times.

    They can provide amazing insight and viewpoints to problems or ideas you may never have gotten on your own. It’s like having your own consultant and editor right by your side.

    The business partner of your life

    Your spouse among many other things is the business partner of your life. If you are working on creating a new startup or project and your vision is not aligned with your business partner, it is probably not going to work. We see this all the time in the business world.

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    The same holds true for your spouse.

    For example, my wife and I are both fanatical about how we take care of our bodies, nutrition and fitness wise. We know that we probably wouldn’t work out with someone who doesn’t have the same level of obsession and importance we place on it. If you’re not on the same page, with the same vision it’s not really possible to be that loving, supporting motivator and challenger you want in a partner.

    Does this mean everything is sunshine and rainbows?

    No. You are going to spend a ton of time with this person and having the occasional argument is bound to happen.

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    Arguments can be productive

    It’s like backpacking Europe with a best friend for a couple months. We all know at some point you’re totally going to clash for a day or two, but after that, you’ll be back to being best friends.

    Arguments can be productive though and can help push both of you forward. If I had a check list of what to look for in a partner it would probably look like the following.

    • Does this person challenge you to always be better?
    • Do they inspire you to become your best self?
    • Do they have their own drive and ambition?
    • Do your core values align?

    Note that I purposely didn’t mention anything about love or romance here. While there are a ton of other aspects of finding an amazing spouse (and these are obviously needed), I only wanted to dive into what I consider to be a much-overlooked part. I’ve personally seen a number of relationships end because one partner set out on a journey to improve their self and the other partner either wasn’t supportive or interested.  Answering the questions above, I feel, may help prevent that before it ever occurs.

    Having an amazing spouse is also having an amazing business partner for life. If the checklist above lines up and the love and romance is there, then you have probably without even knowing it stumbled upon one of the greatest life hacks there is.

    Featured photo credit: Shutterstock 165529670 via shutterstock.com

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    Paul Milano

    Helping others build a powerfully productive life

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    Last Updated on February 17, 2020

    5 Reasons Why You Should Always Be Who You Are

    5 Reasons Why You Should Always Be Who You Are

    When it comes to being yourself, there can be a lot of pressure from the outside world as it tries to influence who you are. Living in a society that is constantly developing, it’s important for you to always be yourself from the inside out.

    When you deeply know yourself and the boundaries that you have set, you are more likely to experience a fulfilling and rewarding life. Without knowing yourself and establishing those boundaries, you can easily be pushed around and end up on a dirt path.

    So how to be who you are and always be yourself?

    “Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it” – Matthew 7:13-14

    You have the option of taking the path that is broad or taking the path that is narrow. You can either conform to what life wants you to be, or have the courage to remain true to yourself throughout the years. It’s definitely a challenge to have a strong sense of self when we are constantly getting distracted and being influenced by the media and society’s way of life. But if you want to reach your fullest potential in life, it all starts with being yourself.

    Why should you always be yourself? Because you will:

    1. Live in Alignment With Your Values and Beliefs

    Being yourself is all about knowing what you believe in and the values that you live by. When you are not yourself, you will take on the values and beliefs of others. This is when you start conforming to other people’s expectations and way of thinking.

    When you know your values and why you do what you do, you will live according to your own values and beliefs.

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    2. Establish Your Own Identity

    When you are able to have a solid foundation of being you, you are establishing your own sense of identity. No matter what happens in your life, you will always know who you are.

    There will be times where you may feel lost or distracted, but if you have your own identity you’ll be able to get back on the right path. Without establishing your own identity, you may easily conform and lose yourself.

    3. Build Courage

    It takes a great amount of courage when you decide to take the path that goes against the crowd. The reason why the majority of people take the broad path is because it’s easy.

    It’s easy to just follow the crowd. It’s more of a challenge when you stay true to yourself and establish your own identity. This challenge of always being yourself takes courage and inner strength. No matter what comes your way, you’ll know how to handle it.

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    4. Establish Boundaries

    When you are always yourself, you know what your limits are and the boundaries that you have set for yourself. When people cross your boundaries, you will know.

    But if you don’t establish boundaries, people may very well walk all over you and take advantage of you. If you are always yourself and you establish boundaries, you are more likely to be aware when people start taking advantage of you.

    Create and establish your boundaries.

    5. Find Focus and Direction

    When you are always yourself, you are more likely to have focus and direction in your life. Imagine someone who is constantly conforming to other people’s expectations, do you think this person has focus and direction? I don’t think so.

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    When you stay true to who you are, you are more likely to know the goals you want to accomplish and how to go about accomplishing them. You are able to stay focused and know which direction to take in order for you to accomplish your goals.

    No matter what you experience in life, the only person that will always remain constant is you.

    More Tips about Staying True to Yourself

    Featured photo credit: María Victoria Heredia Reyes via unsplash.com

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