Advertising
Advertising

Possibly The Greatest Lifehack No One Talks About

Possibly The Greatest Lifehack No One Talks About

This post was both an easy and challenging one to write. I have written many pieces on productivity systems and habits that I use in my life but nothing like this.

Recently I was thinking and I realized I missed one of the most influential life hacks to impact my overall performance. I did a quick search and realized, almost nobody else really talks about this as a productivity or life hack either. Yet, it is all over society in successful entrepreneurs, executives, politicians you name it.

I think it is time.

The perfect spouse or partner can be the greatest life hack

A few years back I met the women who would go on to be my wife. She was very driven and busy in her own career, but given I was right in the midst of my own personal growth journey, I was up for the challenge.  It can be intimidating and difficult to pursue a partner like this. It requires a lot of patience, but is it worth it?

Advertising

Absolutely! She has helped shape and guide me in so many ways and together we have formed an amazing partnership. Some of my strong points are some of her weak points. On the other hand, my weak points are some of her strongest points. Together it creates a stronger version of both of us. Since we’ve been together we’ve traveled countless times, advanced our careers, strengthened our bond and recently picked up and moved our lives from Toronto to San Francisco.

Society tends to portray marriage as being tied down, especially from a guy’s perspective. You always hear the same jokes at bachelor parties. “You know it’s not too late to back out!”

Finding the right partner isn’t about becoming tied down. Instead, I personally feel it can help upgrade you to the next level.

Being able to work at 120% instead of 100%

img_20160925_195300
    My wife and I at Victoria Peak, Hong Kong.

    The image of the grinding entrepreneur we typically have is a lone man or women, on their laptop in a coffee shop or some exotic location. A lot of people chase this dream, I am also attracted to it but I want to crush the idea that you need to do it alone.

    Advertising

    Finding the right partner isn’t going to drain you of your time or results but can actually help amplify you. They become an extension of you. Imagine being able to work at 120% instead of 100%. This is what surrounding you with the right partner can do. It’s about finding someone who constantly challenges you and motivates you to become your best.

    Having your own consultant

    Someone who will say “this is good, but you can do better”.  They inspire you with their own drive and ambition and it completely rubs off on you. Your partner will be the person you spend the majority of your time with. There should be an abundance of positive and motivating energy and this can keep you going, keep you focused and driven in times.

    They can provide amazing insight and viewpoints to problems or ideas you may never have gotten on your own. It’s like having your own consultant and editor right by your side.

    The business partner of your life

    Your spouse among many other things is the business partner of your life. If you are working on creating a new startup or project and your vision is not aligned with your business partner, it is probably not going to work. We see this all the time in the business world.

    Advertising

    The same holds true for your spouse.

    For example, my wife and I are both fanatical about how we take care of our bodies, nutrition and fitness wise. We know that we probably wouldn’t work out with someone who doesn’t have the same level of obsession and importance we place on it. If you’re not on the same page, with the same vision it’s not really possible to be that loving, supporting motivator and challenger you want in a partner.

    Does this mean everything is sunshine and rainbows?

    No. You are going to spend a ton of time with this person and having the occasional argument is bound to happen.

    Advertising

    Arguments can be productive

    It’s like backpacking Europe with a best friend for a couple months. We all know at some point you’re totally going to clash for a day or two, but after that, you’ll be back to being best friends.

    Arguments can be productive though and can help push both of you forward. If I had a check list of what to look for in a partner it would probably look like the following.

    • Does this person challenge you to always be better?
    • Do they inspire you to become your best self?
    • Do they have their own drive and ambition?
    • Do your core values align?

    Note that I purposely didn’t mention anything about love or romance here. While there are a ton of other aspects of finding an amazing spouse (and these are obviously needed), I only wanted to dive into what I consider to be a much-overlooked part. I’ve personally seen a number of relationships end because one partner set out on a journey to improve their self and the other partner either wasn’t supportive or interested.  Answering the questions above, I feel, may help prevent that before it ever occurs.

    Having an amazing spouse is also having an amazing business partner for life. If the checklist above lines up and the love and romance is there, then you have probably without even knowing it stumbled upon one of the greatest life hacks there is.

    Featured photo credit: Shutterstock 165529670 via shutterstock.com

    More by this author

    Paul Milano

    Helping others build a powerfully productive life

    How to accelerate your personal growth 15 Startup Founders Share Their Productivity Habits Possibly The Greatest Lifehack No One Talks About 5 Ways To Create A Powerfully Productive Mind

    Trending in Lifestyle

    1 How to Help Nausea Go Away Fast with These 5 Fixes 2 5 Fixes For Common Sleep Issues All Couples Deal With 3 What Is FOMO (And How to Get Over It) 4 9 Practical Ways to Achieve Work Life Balance in a Busy World 5 How to Get out of a Funk and Take Control of Life

    Read Next

    Advertising
    Advertising
    Advertising

    Last Updated on June 13, 2019

    5 Fixes For Common Sleep Issues All Couples Deal With

    5 Fixes For Common Sleep Issues All Couples Deal With

    Sleeping next to your partner can be a satisfying experience and is typically seen as the mark of a stable, healthy home life. However, many more people struggle to share a bed with their partner than typically let on. Sleeping beside someone can decrease your sleep quality which negatively affects your life. Maybe you are light sleepers and you wake each other up throughout the night. Maybe one has a loud snoring habit that’s keeping the other awake. Maybe one is always crawling into bed in the early hours of the morning while the other likes to go to bed at 10 p.m.

    You don’t have to feel ashamed of finding it difficult to sleep with your partner and you also don’t have to give up entirely on it. Common problems can be addressed with simple solutions such as an additional pillow. Here are five fixes for common sleep issues that couples deal with.

    Advertising

    1. Use a bigger mattress to sleep through movement

    It can be difficult to sleep through your partner’s tossing and turning all night, particularly if they have to get in and out of bed. Waking up multiple times in one night can leave you frustrated and exhausted. The solution may be a switch to a bigger mattress or a mattress that minimizes movement.

    Look for a mattress that allows enough space so that your partner can move around without impacting you or consider a mattress made for two sleepers like the Sleep Number bed.[1] This bed allows each person to choose their own firmness level. It also minimizes any disturbances their partner might feel. A foam mattress like the kind featured in advertisements where someone jumps on a bed with an unspilled glass of wine will help minimize the impact of your partner’s movements.[2]

    Advertising

    2. Communicate about scheduling conflicts

    If one of you is a night owl and the other an early riser, bedtime can become a source of conflict. It’s hard for a light sleeper to be jostled by their partner coming to bed four hours after them. Talk to your partner about negotiating some compromises. If you’re finding it difficult to agree on a bedtime, negotiate with your partner. Don’t come to bed before or after a certain time, giving the early bird a chance to fully fall asleep before the other comes in. Consider giving the night owl an eye mask to allow them to stay in bed while their partner gets up to start the day.

    3. Don’t bring your technology to bed

    If one partner likes bringing devices to bed and the other partner doesn’t, there’s very little compromise to be found. Science is pretty unanimous on the fact that screens can cause harm to a healthy sleeper. Both partners should agree on a time to keep technology out of the bedroom or turn screens off. This will prevent both partners from having their sleep interrupted and can help you power down after a long day.

    Advertising

    4. White noise and changing positions can silence snoring

    A snoring partner can be one of the most difficult things to sleep through. Snoring tends to be position-specific so many doctors recommend switching positions to stop the snoring. Rather than sleeping on your back doctors recommend turning onto your side. Changing positions can cut down on noise and breathing difficulties for any snorer. Using a white noise fan, or sound machine can also help soften the impact of loud snoring and keep both partners undisturbed.

    5. Use two blankets if one’s a blanket hog

    If you’ve got a blanket hog in your bed don’t fight it, get another blanket. This solution fixes any issues between two partners and their comforter. There’s no rule that you have to sleep under the same blanket. Separate covers can also cut down on tossing and turning making it a multi-useful adaptation.

    Advertising

    Rather than giving up entirely on sharing a bed with your partner, try one of these techniques to improve your sleeping habits. Sleeping in separate beds can be a normal part of a healthy home life, but compromise can go a long way toward creating harmony in a shared bed.

    Featured photo credit: Becca Tapert via unsplash.com

    Reference

    Read Next