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Embrace Your Wounds Of The Past. They Are The Seeds Of Your Wisdom.

Embrace Your Wounds Of The Past. They Are The Seeds Of Your Wisdom.

In life, no matter how long or short your time is on this earth, you will experience pain. Babies enter the world in traumatic fashion–screaming, crying and completely helpless.  And life continues from there.

Struggle, failure and pain are all intricate pieces of the puzzle that makes you who you are. When you shy away from struggles, run from failure or hide your pain, you become an incomplete picture. What most people fail to realize is that wisdom, strength and fuel for the future is wrapped up inside that pain.

Oprah Winfrey epitomizes the concept of not only triumphing in spite of pain, struggle and turmoil but actually using it a tool to help actuate success. And when discussing Oprah and all that she has accomplished, the word ‘successful’ is incredibly inadequate and a grossly insufficient label for her. She has defied the odds as a woman, as a woman of color, as a poor woman of color and as an abused poor woman of color.

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It’s not how you start…

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    Poverty, physical abuse, abandonment, sexual abuse, drugs, teenage pregnancy and the death of a child–all in the first 17 years of life. Yet Oprah thrived. Proving that it’s not how you start something it’s about the journey and where you end up.

    It’s understanding that you may have started life at a disadvantage–extreme poverty, single parent home, drug infested neighborhood, violence, physically and or sexually abused, learning disabled, physically deformed, given up for adoption or left by a dumpster or emotionally abandoned–but those circumstances do not define who you are nor do they determine your future. You do. In fact, those things build a mental toughness, an internal drive to win and the strength to push through when the odds are not in your favor.

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    Oprah decided to unveil her trauma to the world. She chose not to hide it but exposed it in order to assist others–without a voice or platform–dealing with and carrying these types of deep emotional wounds. She became transparent and allowed others to see through her pain that damaged doesn’t mean destroyed and that what is broken can be fixed.

    Oprah is winning.

    You have to fight to win

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      At 17 while living with her father after all that had transpired in her life, she was crowned Miss Black Tennessee, she got her first on air TV job and earned a full scholarship to Tennessee State University. She didn’t just “turn her life around,” she bulldozed her old life to the ground and erected a bigger and better existence for herself and she has never looked back. Since that time she has steadily grown in popularity, fame and wealth. She has been named one of the most influential people in the WORLD by Time Magazine and hailed as one of the most powerful women of this century.

      An article published in Vanity Fair aptly described Winfrey’s influence this way:

      “Oprah Winfrey arguably has more influence on the culture than any university president, politician, or religious leader, except perhaps the pope.”

      Simply put, Oprah learned to fight. She never felt sorry for herself and she refused to let others pity her. She worked for everything she got, earned every accolade and deserves every dollar of her wealth.

      Learning to turn your tragedy into triumph

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        Behind anyone who has accomplished anything worthwhile–lurking in the shadows–are countless failures and puddles of tears. Life is funny that way– the more gifts you have the more pain and heartache you must endure. The two go hand in hand. They are twins or at the very least cousins. You must embrace them both in order to win.

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        If you have experienced tragedy upon tragedy, and endured immense amounts of pain–I have good news–you are destined for greatness.

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        Denise Hill

        Speech Writer/Senior Editor

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        Last Updated on August 16, 2018

        10 Ways To Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone And Enjoy Taking Risks

        10 Ways To Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone And Enjoy Taking Risks

        The ability to take risks by stepping outside your comfort zone is the primary way by which we grow. But we are often afraid to take that first step.

        In truth, comfort zones are not really about comfort, they are about fear. Break the chains of fear to get outside. Once you do, you will learn to enjoy the process of taking risks and growing in the process.

        Here are 10 ways to help you step out of your comfort zone and get closer to success:

        1. Become aware of what’s outside of your comfort zone

        What are the things that you believe are worth doing but are afraid of doing yourself because of the potential for disappointment or failure?

        Draw a circle and write those things down outside the circle. This process will not only allow you to clearly identify your discomforts, but your comforts. Write identified comforts inside the circle.

        2. Become clear about what you are aiming to overcome

        Take the list of discomforts and go deeper. Remember, the primary emotion you are trying to overcome is fear.

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        How does this fear apply uniquely to each situation? Be very specific.

        Are you afraid of walking up to people and introducing yourself in social situations? Why? Is it because you are insecure about the sound of your voice? Are you insecure about your looks?

        Or, are you afraid of being ignored?

        3. Get comfortable with discomfort

        One way to get outside of your comfort zone is to literally expand it. Make it a goal to avoid running away from discomfort.

        Let’s stay with the theme of meeting people in social settings. If you start feeling a little panicked when talking to someone you’ve just met, try to stay with it a little longer than you normally would before retreating to comfort. If you stay long enough and practice often enough, it will start to become less uncomfortable.

        4. See failure as a teacher

        Many of us are so afraid of failure that we would rather do nothing than take a shot at our dreams.

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        Begin to treat failure as a teacher. What did you learn from the experience? How can you take that lesson to your next adventure to increase your chance of success?

        Many highly successful people failed plenty of times before they succeeded. Here’re some examples:

        10 Famous Failures to Success Stories That Will Inspire You to Carry On

        5. Take baby steps

        Don’t try to jump outside your comfort zone, you will likely become overwhelmed and jump right back in.

        Take small steps toward the fear you are trying to overcome. If you want to do public speaking, start by taking every opportunity to speak to small groups of people. You can even practice with family and friends.

        Take a look at this article on how you can start taking baby steps:

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        The Number One Secret to Life Success: Baby Steps

        6. Hang out with risk takers

        There is no substitute for this step. If you want to become better at something, you must start hanging out with the people who are doing what you want to do and start emulating them. (Here’re 8 Reasons Why Risk Takers Are More Likely To Be Successful).

        Almost inevitably, their influence will start have an effect on your behavior.

        7. Be honest with yourself when you are trying to make excuses

        Don’t say “Oh, I just don’t have the time for this right now.” Instead, be honest and say “I am afraid to do this.”

        Don’t make excuses, just be honest. You will be in a better place to confront what is truly bothering you and increase your chance of moving forward.

        8. Identify how stepping out will benefit you

        What will the ability to engage in public speaking do for your personal and professional growth? Keep these potential benefits in mind as motivations to push through fear.

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        9. Don’t take yourself too seriously

        Learn to laugh at yourself when you make mistakes. Risk taking will inevitably involve failure and setbacks that will sometimes make you look foolish to others. Be happy to roll with the punches when others poke fun.

        If you aren’t convinced yet, check out these 6 Reasons Not to Take Life So Seriously.

        10. Focus on the fun

        Enjoy the process of stepping outside your safe boundaries. Enjoy the fun of discovering things about yourself that you may not have been aware of previously.

        Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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