Advertising
Advertising

How to Stop Surviving and Start Doing What You Love

How to Stop Surviving and Start Doing What You Love

Clock in. Clock out. Head home. Repeat. Millions of people follow this same predictable pattern for years, or even decades. And while there’s nothing wrong with punching a clock and making an honest living, isn’t there more to life? Isn’t there something you’re passionate about that you’d rather spend 40 hours of your week doing?

Here are a few practical tips that will allow you to start living your life the way it was meant to be lived, by doing what you love.

1. Develop a realistic plan

“I, personally, didn’t want to wake up one day as a 50 or 60 year old and find myself still working at a cubicle, regretting that I never pursued the dreams I had for myself,” says Timothy Lee, owner of a San Francisco tap room. “Taking the first leap is the hardest part, but it’s worth leaving stability for what makes you happy.”

Advertising

While some people decide to simply quit their jobs and try something else, it’s not a good idea to give up a paying job without some sort of plan. Create a realistic timeline with sizeable goals that you can accomplish.

2. Find a way to monetize

We all have passions, but the truth is that some passions are more monetizable than others. For example, if you’re really skilled at developing software and want to branch out on your own, you won’t have much trouble finding clients. However, if your passion is knitting, it’s going to be much harder to make a living. It’s not impossible, but you’ll have to get creative. Instead of only selling scarves, consider teaching classes to people who are interested in learning how to knit.

The point is that you shouldn’t naively assume that your passion will sell itself. Before launching head first into your new life, think about the financial side of things and how you will make it work.

Advertising

3. Surround yourself with the right people

While the onus is on you to make a move and do the right thing for your life, it helps to have supportive people on your side. This is something Sara DiVello learned the hard way when she left her corporate public relations job to launch a career in yoga.

“Because your colleagues may feel just as trapped and scared, a dynamic can evolve where they can actually contribute to holding you back,” DiVello says. “Some co-workers were overtly discouraging, telling me I’d be back, that I’d miss it.”

If you can find people who are supportive and encouraging, it will be much easier to stay motivated and avoid giving up when things get tough. Thankfully, you will be surprised how many people will praise you for your choice to pursue your passion.

Advertising

4. Never take no for an answer

News flash: You’re going to get a lot of “no’s” when you first venture out on your own. People won’t take you seriously. They’ll tell you the industry is too crowded. They’ll complain that your prices are too high. They’ll want to see proof before they take a chance. The key is to never take no for an answer.

The most successful people in the world didn’t get to where they are because everyone told them yes. They got to where they are because they kept pushing through.

It’s time to take control of your life

Can you stand the thought of doing what you’re doing right now for another 20 or 30 years–or more? Or would you rather pursue your passion and be happy? For most of us, we’re just trudging along, paying the bills, and praying for the weekend.

Advertising

That doesn’t have to be your life. It’s time to make your dream a reality!

More by this author

Anna Johansson

Anna specializes in entrepreneurship, technology, and social media trends.

20 Best Productivity Apps for Mac You Should Have in 2018 10 Uplifting Positive Affirmation Apps That Help You Re-Center on the Go 10 Qualities of a Leader (Advanced Version for Leaders Who Aim High) hourglass as time is wasting 15 Ways You Are Wasting Time During the Day (And How to Stop) When You Have These Recipes, You No Longer Need to Suppress Your Appetite for Dessert.

Trending in Communication

1 Why You Think You’re Not Good Enough and How To Believe in Yourself 2 12 Simple Ways You Can Build A Positive Attitude 3 How to Get Motivated and Be Happy Every Day When You Wake Up 4 Feeling Stuck in Life? How to Never Get Stuck Again 5 3 Ways to Reprogram Your Subconscious Mind to Reach Your Goals

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on December 17, 2018

Why You Think You’re Not Good Enough and How To Believe in Yourself

Why You Think You’re Not Good Enough and How To Believe in Yourself

Have you ever wanted to say something at work, but a little voice of doubt crept in and said, “what if you are wrong”?

Maybe you wanted to apply for that promotion or ask that special someone on a date, but something kept you from taking action. When you think you’re not good enough, you tend to fear the outcome and lack faith in your abilities. That is why it is vital you discover how to believe in yourself so you can accomplish your goals and create your dream life.

Whatever your situation, the fears and self-doubt your false beliefs create will always stop you in your tracks. Identifying the beliefs that cause you to sabotage your life is the first step to removing them.

Self-doubt causes inaction, and inaction leads to regret. When you are not following your passion and living your dream life, you are left with a lot of questions:

  • What if I took a chance on myself?
  • Could I have had a better life if I took more risks?
  • Am I be satisfied with the legacy I am leaving behind?
  • What could I have accomplished if I did not settle for less?

So why would you think you’re not good enough?

1. Parenting

The perception you have of yourself is based on your past experiences. There are studies that show children mimic everything from their parents ability to regulate emotions, to their parents belief about money.[1]

I have had clients who did not believe they were good enough because they did not receive any positive reinforcement as a child. When they were young, their parents were extremely overprotective.

Think of your childhood challenges like dragons you had to slay. Each obstacle you overcame was another dragon you successfully removed from your life. As you slay more dragons, your self-esteem and confidence increase. When someone has overprotective parents, their parents end up slaying the dragons.

Advertising

As a result, the child builds more confidence in their parent’s abilities, while still doubting their own.

If you are never encouraged to slay your own dragons, you start to doubt whether you can. It is only natural for a child to conclude their parents are always helping them because they think they need it. This child ages into an adult who still believes they are not good enough. They seek the help and confirmation of others, and they rarely stand-up to opposition.

Solution: Slay Your Dragons!

If you want to believe in yourself, you are going to have to take steps to rebuild your trust in yourself. Start by keeping your word to others and arriving on-time. By showing yourself that others can (and do) trust you, you are going to feel more comfortable trusting yourself.

As you move onto larger and more challenging tasks, you have built a foundation of trust in your ability to keep your word. Next, you are going to want to reclaim your sword from others. At first, you may want to confide in whoever it is currently slaying your dragons.

Understand if it is your parent or someone who loves you, they want the best for you and mean well. You are simply going to tell them that you want to do the work, and will ask them for their thoughts in the planning phase. Feel free to check in with them and give them updates on your progress, while making sure they understand you are wanting to do the work yourself.

Then when the task is completed, let them know so you can celebrate together. Now that you have slayed your own dragon, you can start to reclaim your confidence. By you utilizing them as your guide, you get the added bonus of someone you respect and admire, telling you how amazing you are.

Think of it like a symbolic passing of the torch. Now, you are both dragon slayers. Which means all the positive attributes you attributed to them slaying your dragons, now belong to you.

2. Over-Exaggerating and Oversimplifying

Your past experiences may involve you or someone close to you failing. When you experience failure, you can lose your desire to continue. This has less to do with whether you are brave or scared, and more to do with the fact that your mind does not like failure.

Advertising

No one enjoys participating in events in which they under-perform. Outside of the usual reasons of embarrassment, feelings of inadequacy, and fear of failure – it is simply not fun.

Who wants to play baseball if they strikeout every time it is their turn? Would you enjoy singing in front of an audience if you were booed off the stage every time you performed? I could go on, but I think you get the point.

The thing about those two examples is no one really strikes out “every” at-bat. It is also unlikely someone could be booed off the stage “every time” they performed in-front of an audience.

What ends up happening is you oversimplify and exaggerate your past experiences and then your mind believes you. If you believe you are not good enough to ask someone on a date because they “always” tell you no, then do not be surprised you never muster the courage to do so.

If you want to overcome these feelings of inadequacy, start by changing your beliefs. This exercise does not need to be complicated. If you believe you strikeout every time it is your turn, I want to you to go to a batting cage and keep swinging until you hit the baseball.

When you experience success, I want you to take a mental note, write it down, or have someone video it. This is your proof that you do not always strike out. Then, whenever your belief that you are not good enough resurfaces, you are going to replay that video.

Regardless of the situation, you can find a successful experience that you are overlooking.

Solution: Read About the Failures of Others

It sounds a little crazy, I know, but reading about the failures of other successful people will improve your confidence. In a study conducted by Columbia University, they found that teaching students about the failures of great scientists encouraged them to do better.[2]

Advertising

When you are battling fear and self-doubt, you tend to over-exaggerate the abilities of others and diminish your own by comparison. You start to believe the successful are successful because they are courageous risk-takers, who do not take no for an answer. You tell yourself, they are meant to succeed, while you on the other hand are not.

When you are able to relate to the successful, you start to realize they have the same struggles and challenges you do. The only difference is they kept going.

Now it is not a question of whether you can succeed, it is a question of whether you want to succeed.

3. Undervalue Yourself

What is the main difference between someone who believes they are good enough and someone who does not? The person who believes they are good enough understands they are a person of value.

What I mean by this is if you do not believe you are worth being listened to, you will not have anything to say. If you do not believe you are good enough to be respected and treated as such, you will accept and rationalize all kinds of mistreatment.

There is an old saying that we are treated as we allow ourselves to be treated. When someone has the confidence and self-esteem that commands respect, they will not accept being treated any kind of way. However, if someone does not see themselves as worthy, they will remain in toxic situations because they do not believe anything better is on the horizon.

Dr. Jennifer Crocker, who worked on a series of self-esteem studies, found in her latest research that:[3]

“College students who based their self-worth on external sources–including appearance, approval from others and even their academic performance–reported more stress, anger, academic problems, relationship conflicts, and had higher levels of drug and alcohol use and symptoms of eating disorders”

Solution: Internalize Your Self-Worth

Instead of valuing yourself based on the awards, recognition, and accolades of others, you need to search internally. By basing your perception of yourself on your core values, you can regain control over self-image.

Instead of focusing on things that are outside of control, keep your mind on what it is that makes you special. You are not defined by your job, relationships, religion, or education. Rather, you are defined by the manner in which you participate in these things. You may be a creative, hard-working, and compassionate person; and that shows up in every thing you do.

Understand that you do not need to be creative, hard-working, and compassionate all the time to consider yourself these things. You are not trying to be perfect, but you are trying to connect with your true self.

By understanding the similarities in which you tackle objectives, you will build a consistent and powerful self-worth that stands apart from external confirmation.

Final Thoughts

Do not allow your past experiences do dictate your future success. You do not want to look back on your life and have a lot of questions and regrets.

Build trust in yourself by taking action today. This will help you build the confidence you need to believe in yourself and your ability to become the champion of your life.

More Inspiration About Motivation

Featured photo credit: Riccardo Mion via unsplash.com

Advertising

Reference

Read Next