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4 Things You can Do to Turn Your Kids Into High Achievers

4 Things You can Do to Turn Your Kids Into High Achievers

I recently talked to a friend who’s raising a boy about different parenting methods and he said that he doesn’t give the whole thing much thought; after all, his parents let him bang his head all he wanted and he turned out to be just fine.

That is true and he is quite a character, but I disagree with his ignorance regarding parenting. Although you shouldn’t keep your kid under a glass bell and prevent them from experience the good and the bad in the world, that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t guide them towards a concrete goal – to make your children high achievers.

Raising my girl has so far been a very rich experience for me and I expect nothing less than that in the future. She showed various talents and aspirations and I’m very satisfied with where she’s headed, which is why I’d like to share several things I have learned so far.

1. An Early Start

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    It’s never too early to start this process. Some parents neglect their careers in order to devote their full time and attention to raising a high achiever and I believe this is a mistake – the fact that you have a child doesn’t mean you should stop being a complete person.

    A very important thing here is balance. Investing everything you have in your child’s future will put a lot of pressure on them and that is a ticking time bomb waiting to explode sooner or later. It is possible to mold a brilliant mind without it snapping.

    So, keep your career, don’t put all the weight of the world on your child’s back, but do pay close attention to their development by keeping track of affinities they manifest during all kinds of activities like precise coloring, extra developed motor skills, etc. That way, your kid will be aware of their capacities very early, which is a major confidence boost, and confidence plays a very important role in molding your child into a high achiever.

    2. Creative Upbringing Methods

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      Most parents present themselves as an authority figure and they never leave that position. If you consider doing this, you should know that “Because I said so” won’t work forever. In fact, you can be sure that it will cause rebellion at an early age and there’s very little you can do about that in case you don’t change.

      No, you shouldn’t be just friends with your child because they do need a guide, but you can be a parent/friend, which I believe is a perfect balance. As soon as your child starts talking and their sentences start to make sense, everything you two do together should be a matter of agreement. If you want them to clean their room, explain why that is necessary – that simple.

      Also, the old reward/punishment system should be upgraded a bit, because it’s not all black and white in parenting. Naturally, you should teach your child that bad actions have their consequences and that being helpful and productive has its reward, but there’s so much more to parenting than this.

      3. Learning Is Fun

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      I love to read

        Which brings me to my next point – you can and should indulge your child’s curiosity. Allow them to try as many things possible and enable them to discover the world by themselves and experience as much as possible – with your supervision, obviously. Children’s minds are like sponges and they gather absolutely everything they see, feel, smell, taste and touch.

        Acting this way and introducing them to the world in this manner will enable them to lower confusion levels maximally, boost their confidence even more and help them develop resourcefulness, which is a magnificently useful tool to have.

        You should also explore the meaning of a growth mindset and try to plant this kind of approach into your child’s mind, because it will enable them to look at problems as a challenge that requires a unique solution and not as something that causes anxiety and frustration.

        4. Freedom of Choice

        This is a part I’d like to emphasize because it is a common mistake a lot of parents out there make. You must have had daydreams about what you want your child to be when he or she grows up, but you should make peace with the fact that they are not an extension of you that exists to fulfill your long-lost aspirations.

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        It would be nice if your child actually turns out to be a healthcare expert who invents a medicine, an extremely talented dancer who charms the whole world with the elegance of movement or a legend of football who will go right down in history. A truly successful high achiever needs to do what they actually enjoy doing.

        The bottom line is that you want your child to be happy, so don’t forget to enable them to have a careless childhood and this is something that slips parents’ minds very often. Basically, you should introduce discipline and hard work without presenting them as must-do obligations and shower them with affection and support whenever possible – this is a balance you need to strive towards.

        Featured photo credit: https://unsplash.com/photos/ZSrgSSGJiQs via pexels.com

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        Ivan Dimitrijevic

        Ivan is the CEO and founder of a digital marketing company. He has years of experiences in team management, entrepreneurship and productivity.

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        Published on January 30, 2019

        How to Support a Working Mother as a Working Father

        How to Support a Working Mother as a Working Father

        In roughly 60 percent of two-parent households with children under the age of 18, both parents work full time. But who takes time off work when the kids are sick in your house? And if you are a manager, how do you react when a man says he needs time to take his baby to the pediatrician?

        The sad truth is, the default in many companies and families is to value the man’s work over the woman’s—even when there is no significant difference in their professional obligations or compensation. This translates into stereotypes in the workplace that women are the primary caregivers, which can negatively impact women’s success on the job and their upward mobility.

        According to a Pew Research Center analysis of long-term time-use data (1965–2011), fathers in dual-income couples devote significantly less time than mothers do to child care.[1] Dads are doing more than twice as much housework as they used to (from an average of about four hours per week to about 10 hours), but there is still a significant imbalance.

        This is not just an issue between spouses; it’s a workplace culture issue. In many offices, it is still taboo for dads to openly express that they have family obligations that need their attention. In contrast, the assumption that moms will be on the front lines of any family crisis is one that runs deep.

        Consider an example from my company. A few years back, one of our team members joined us for an off-site meeting soon after returning from maternity leave. Not even two hours into her trip, her husband called to say that the baby had been crying nonstop. While there was little our colleague could practically do to help with the situation, this call was clearly unsettling, and the result was that her attention was divided for the rest of an important business dinner.

        This was her first night away since the baby’s birth, and I know that her spouse had already been on several business trips before this event. Yet, I doubt she called him during his conferences to ask child-care questions. Like so many moms everywhere, she was expected to figure things out on her own.

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        The numbers show that this story is far from the exception. In another Pew survey, 47 percent of dual-income parents agreed that the moms take on more of the work when a child gets sick.[2] In addition, 39 percent of working mothers said they had taken a significant amount of time off from work to care for their child compared to just 24 percent of working fathers. Mothers are also more likely than fathers (27 percent to 10 percent) to say they had quit their job at some point for family reasons.

        Before any amazing stay-at-home-dads post an angry rebuttal comment, I want to be very clear that I am not judging how families choose to divide and conquer their personal and professional responsibilities; that’s 100 percent their prerogative. Rather, I am taking aim at the culture of inequity that persists even when spouses have similar or identical professional responsibilities. This is an important issue for all of us because we are leaving untapped business and human potential on the table.

        What’s more, I think my fellow men can do a lot about this. For those out there who still privately think that being a good dad just means helping out mom, it’s time to man up. Stop expecting working partners—who have similar professional responsibilities—to bear the majority of the child-care responsibilities as well.

        Consider these ways to support your working spouse:

        1. Have higher expectations for yourself as a father; you are a parent, not a babysitter.

        Know who your pediatrician is and how to reach him or her. Have a back-up plan for transportation and emergency coverage.

        Don’t simply expect your partner to manage all these invisible tasks on her own. Parenting takes effort and preparation for the unexpected.

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        As in other areas of life, the way to build confidence is to learn by doing. Moms aren’t born knowing how to do this stuff any more than dads are.

        2. Treat your partner the way you’d want to be treated.

        I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve heard a man on a business trip say to his wife on a call something to the effect of, “I am in the middle of a meeting. What do you want me to do about it?”

        However, when the tables are turned, men often make that same call at the first sign of trouble.

        Distractions like this make it difficult to focus and engage with work, which perpetuates the stereotype that working moms aren’t sufficiently committed.

        When you’re in charge of the kids, do what she would do: Figure it out.

        3. When you need to take care of your kids, don’t make an excuse that revolves around your partner’s availability.

        This implies that the children are her first priority and your second.

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        I admit I have been guilty in the past of telling clients, “I have the kids today because my wife had something she could not move.” What I should have said was, “I’m taking care of my kids today.”

        Why is it so hard for men to admit they have personal responsibilities? Remember that you are setting an example for your sons and daughters, and do the right thing.

        4. As a manager, be supportive of both your male and female colleagues when unexpected situations arise at home.

        No one likes or wants disruptions, but life happens, and everyone will face a day when the troubling phone call comes from his sitter, her school nurse, or even elderly parents.

        Accommodating personal needs is not a sign of weakness as a leader. Employees will be more likely to do great work if they know that you care about their personal obligations and family—and show them that you care about your own.

        5. Don’t keep score or track time.

        At home, it’s juvenile to get into debates about who last changed a diaper or did the dishes; everyone needs to contribute, but the big picture is what matters. Is everyone healthy and getting enough sleep? Are you enjoying each other’s company?

        In business, too, avoid the trap of punching a clock. The focus should be on outcomes and performance rather than effort and inputs. That’s the way to maintain momentum toward overall goals.

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        The Bottom Line

        To be clear, I recognize that a great many working dads are doing a terrific job both on the home front and in their professional lives. My concern is that these standouts often aren’t visible to their colleagues; they intentionally or inadvertently let their work as parents fly under the radar. Dads need to be open and honest about family responsibilities to change perceptions in the workplace.

        The question “How do you balance it all?” should not be something that’s just asked of women. Frankly, no one can answer that question. Juggling a career and parental responsibilities is tough. At times, really tough.

        But it’s something that more parents should be doing together, as a team. This can be a real bonus for the couple relationship as well, because nothing gets in the way of good partnership faster than feelings of inequity.

        On the plus side, I can tell you that parenting skills really do get better with practice—and that’s great for people of both sexes. I think our cultural expectations that women are the “nurturers” and men are the “providers” needs to evolve. Expanding these definitions will open the doors to richer contributions from everyone, because women can and should be both—and so should men.

        Featured photo credit: NeONBRAND via unsplash.com

        Reference

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