I recently talked to a friend who’s raising a boy about different parenting methods and he said that he doesn’t give the whole thing much thought; after all, his parents let him bang his head all he wanted and he turned out to be just fine.
That is true and he is quite a character, but I disagree with his ignorance regarding parenting. Although you shouldn’t keep your kid under a glass bell and prevent them from experience the good and the bad in the world, that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t guide them towards a concrete goal – to make your children high achievers.
Raising my girl has so far been a very rich experience for me and I expect nothing less than that in the future. She showed various talents and aspirations and I’m very satisfied with where she’s headed, which is why I’d like to share several things I have learned so far.
1. An Early Start
It’s never too early to start this process. Some parents neglect their careers in order to devote their full time and attention to raising a high achiever and I believe this is a mistake – the fact that you have a child doesn’t mean you should stop being a complete person.
A very important thing here is balance. Investing everything you have in your child’s future will put a lot of pressure on them and that is a ticking time bomb waiting to explode sooner or later. It is possible to mold a brilliant mind without it snapping.
So, keep your career, don’t put all the weight of the world on your child’s back, but do pay close attention to their development by keeping track of affinities they manifest during all kinds of activities like precise coloring, extra developed motor skills, etc. That way, your kid will be aware of their capacities very early, which is a major confidence boost, and confidence plays a very important role in molding your child into a high achiever.
2. Creative Upbringing Methods
Most parents present themselves as an authority figure and they never leave that position. If you consider doing this, you should know that “Because I said so” won’t work forever. In fact, you can be sure that it will cause rebellion at an early age and there’s very little you can do about that in case you don’t change.
No, you shouldn’t be just friends with your child because they do need a guide, but you can be a parent/friend, which I believe is a perfect balance. As soon as your child starts talking and their sentences start to make sense, everything you two do together should be a matter of agreement. If you want them to clean their room, explain why that is necessary – that simple.
Also, the old reward/punishment system should be upgraded a bit, because it’s not all black and white in parenting. Naturally, you should teach your child that bad actions have their consequences and that being helpful and productive has its reward, but there’s so much more to parenting than this.
3. Learning Is Fun
Which brings me to my next point – you can and should indulge your child’s curiosity. Allow them to try as many things possible and enable them to discover the world by themselves and experience as much as possible – with your supervision, obviously. Children’s minds are like sponges and they gather absolutely everything they see, feel, smell, taste and touch.
Acting this way and introducing them to the world in this manner will enable them to lower confusion levels maximally, boost their confidence even more and help them develop resourcefulness, which is a magnificently useful tool to have.
You should also explore the meaning of a growth mindset and try to plant this kind of approach into your child’s mind, because it will enable them to look at problems as a challenge that requires a unique solution and not as something that causes anxiety and frustration.
4. Freedom of Choice
This is a part I’d like to emphasize because it is a common mistake a lot of parents out there make. You must have had daydreams about what you want your child to be when he or she grows up, but you should make peace with the fact that they are not an extension of you that exists to fulfill your long-lost aspirations.
It would be nice if your child actually turns out to be a healthcare expert who invents a medicine, an extremely talented dancer who charms the whole world with the elegance of movement or a legend of football who will go right down in history. A truly successful high achiever needs to do what they actually enjoy doing.
The bottom line is that you want your child to be happy, so don’t forget to enable them to have a careless childhood and this is something that slips parents’ minds very often. Basically, you should introduce discipline and hard work without presenting them as must-do obligations and shower them with affection and support whenever possible – this is a balance you need to strive towards.
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