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Unwanted Situations Will Keep Happening Until You Learn Your Lesson

Unwanted Situations Will Keep Happening Until You Learn Your Lesson

We often forget this simple fact that learning is a lifelong process. As soon as we open our eyes to this world, we begin to learn how to get our basic needs fulfilled. Then as we age, we make attachments and learn how to associate feelings with people.

One vital part of our human learning process is making mistakes. It’s only after falling down or failing that we realise how to pick up the pieces and put them back together. But often when we encounter trouble, we lose our optimism and faith before succumbing to circumstance.

But simply submitting to these situations is not the solution. Instead, we should choose to grow, learning what went wrong and becoming wiser for the future. If you give into unwanted situations and don’t look for the lesson it is trying to teach you, you’ll be trapped in a cycle of pestering situations.

Beware the Lure Social Acceptance

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    As human beings, we are social creatures and naturally seek social approval. Sometimes we can go to an extreme extent to get that approval, without realising the degree of pain we put others through. And once we receive the approval we crave, the pressure doubles as we struggle to maintain this position in the hierarchy.

    At this point, we often forget the truth of our existence. We would be nothing without the people who helped us climb the ladder of life. But hurting people during this process can become a habit and with no remorse, or even a compulsion. But this doesn’t lead to true happiness, loneliness will always linger. This is something I did not realise until last summer.

    Learning From My Failures

    I had always been a very carefree and casual human. As a child, I was highly pampered and babied by my parents, specifically my mother. We were four siblings, two sisters and two brothers. All four of us were very different. My siblings had something against me from the very beginning, for obvious reasons. I didn’t care much at the time since I’d already gained a whole bunch of new friends.

    As I grew up, I was filled with self-esteem, confidence and high self-worth. A people’s person, as they called me, I was always in the centre of the spotlight at every gathering, meeting and party. I cultivated an interest in music and along with four of my friends, formed a rock band that proved to be extremely successful and (almost) famous. I fell in love with popularity and recognition. Out of jealousy, my “old-time” friends were no longer around.

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      But right at the peak of my happiness, I started losing people. My siblings had long abandoned me, which I never really cared about. Then due to some unforeseen circumstances, our rock band and our raging popularity seemed to shatter.

      Now I can see clearly it was not a circumstance that broke our band, it was my brash attitude towards life and people. It was not jealousy that repelled my ‘old-time’ friends; it was my crude behaviour towards them. I became so self-absorbed that I never cared how others felt because of my conduct. If I had bothered to stop my brothers and sisters from leaving, I may have learned the lesson of life and avoided this destructive process.

      Discover the Root Cause and Break the Chain

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        People tend to overlook the subtle signs life gives us as lessons, this prevents us from breaking these vicious circles of unwanted situations. We often attribute our flaws to misfortune or bad luck and fail to recognise the real faults that lie without ourselves.

        A rough conduct is the biggest culprit. It made me so blind to my own faults that I continued committing mistakes without taking responsibility for my actions. And not just that, if we fail to recognise the lessons life wants to teach us, these undesirable situations simply repeat themselves.

        The communication gap is another huge factor that contributes to this issue. We must always remember that communication is a two-way process. It happens between two people and compliance from both the sides is required. Communication distortion can lead to serious errors in expression, a disaster for our relationships. Most of these conflicts can be traced back to our relationships. People can become haughty and arrogant because of miscommunication, miss the cues and cause serious clashes. It’s arrogance that then prevents them from correcting their mistakes, so it seems they never learn.

        Grasp the Lessons Life is Trying To Teach You

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          Every one of us creates our own set of moral values and principles. They become the ethics and code of conduct we follow throughout life. While we are born with some values, others are pushed in by our parents and the society. These values determine our thought process, perception and attitude towards everything we come across. But it’s essential to keep an open mind, so new experiences can lead to new skills and proficiencies.

          Committing a mistake is not the end of the world, in fact, it’s entirely natural. But succumbing to the situation only stalls your  learning curve. Stat open minded and accept mistakes as the lessons they are. If you can comprehend what exactly went wrong, it’s a valuable life experience. To prevent these unwanted situations from repeating themselves, you need to face the consequences. You’ll learn a lot about yourself in the process!

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          Last Updated on August 16, 2018

          10 Ways To Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone And Enjoy Taking Risks

          10 Ways To Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone And Enjoy Taking Risks

          The ability to take risks by stepping outside your comfort zone is the primary way by which we grow. But we are often afraid to take that first step.

          In truth, comfort zones are not really about comfort, they are about fear. Break the chains of fear to get outside. Once you do, you will learn to enjoy the process of taking risks and growing in the process.

          Here are 10 ways to help you step out of your comfort zone and get closer to success:

          1. Become aware of what’s outside of your comfort zone

          What are the things that you believe are worth doing but are afraid of doing yourself because of the potential for disappointment or failure?

          Draw a circle and write those things down outside the circle. This process will not only allow you to clearly identify your discomforts, but your comforts. Write identified comforts inside the circle.

          2. Become clear about what you are aiming to overcome

          Take the list of discomforts and go deeper. Remember, the primary emotion you are trying to overcome is fear.

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          How does this fear apply uniquely to each situation? Be very specific.

          Are you afraid of walking up to people and introducing yourself in social situations? Why? Is it because you are insecure about the sound of your voice? Are you insecure about your looks?

          Or, are you afraid of being ignored?

          3. Get comfortable with discomfort

          One way to get outside of your comfort zone is to literally expand it. Make it a goal to avoid running away from discomfort.

          Let’s stay with the theme of meeting people in social settings. If you start feeling a little panicked when talking to someone you’ve just met, try to stay with it a little longer than you normally would before retreating to comfort. If you stay long enough and practice often enough, it will start to become less uncomfortable.

          4. See failure as a teacher

          Many of us are so afraid of failure that we would rather do nothing than take a shot at our dreams.

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          Begin to treat failure as a teacher. What did you learn from the experience? How can you take that lesson to your next adventure to increase your chance of success?

          Many highly successful people failed plenty of times before they succeeded. Here’re some examples:

          10 Famous Failures to Success Stories That Will Inspire You to Carry On

          5. Take baby steps

          Don’t try to jump outside your comfort zone, you will likely become overwhelmed and jump right back in.

          Take small steps toward the fear you are trying to overcome. If you want to do public speaking, start by taking every opportunity to speak to small groups of people. You can even practice with family and friends.

          Take a look at this article on how you can start taking baby steps:

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          The Number One Secret to Life Success: Baby Steps

          6. Hang out with risk takers

          There is no substitute for this step. If you want to become better at something, you must start hanging out with the people who are doing what you want to do and start emulating them. (Here’re 8 Reasons Why Risk Takers Are More Likely To Be Successful).

          Almost inevitably, their influence will start have an effect on your behavior.

          7. Be honest with yourself when you are trying to make excuses

          Don’t say “Oh, I just don’t have the time for this right now.” Instead, be honest and say “I am afraid to do this.”

          Don’t make excuses, just be honest. You will be in a better place to confront what is truly bothering you and increase your chance of moving forward.

          8. Identify how stepping out will benefit you

          What will the ability to engage in public speaking do for your personal and professional growth? Keep these potential benefits in mind as motivations to push through fear.

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          9. Don’t take yourself too seriously

          Learn to laugh at yourself when you make mistakes. Risk taking will inevitably involve failure and setbacks that will sometimes make you look foolish to others. Be happy to roll with the punches when others poke fun.

          If you aren’t convinced yet, check out these 6 Reasons Not to Take Life So Seriously.

          10. Focus on the fun

          Enjoy the process of stepping outside your safe boundaries. Enjoy the fun of discovering things about yourself that you may not have been aware of previously.

          Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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