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Unwanted Situations Will Keep Happening Until You Learn Your Lesson

Unwanted Situations Will Keep Happening Until You Learn Your Lesson

We often forget this simple fact that learning is a lifelong process. As soon as we open our eyes to this world, we begin to learn how to get our basic needs fulfilled. Then as we age, we make attachments and learn how to associate feelings with people.

One vital part of our human learning process is making mistakes. It’s only after falling down or failing that we realise how to pick up the pieces and put them back together. But often when we encounter trouble, we lose our optimism and faith before succumbing to circumstance.

But simply submitting to these situations is not the solution. Instead, we should choose to grow, learning what went wrong and becoming wiser for the future. If you give into unwanted situations and don’t look for the lesson it is trying to teach you, you’ll be trapped in a cycle of pestering situations.

Beware the Lure Social Acceptance

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    As human beings, we are social creatures and naturally seek social approval. Sometimes we can go to an extreme extent to get that approval, without realising the degree of pain we put others through. And once we receive the approval we crave, the pressure doubles as we struggle to maintain this position in the hierarchy.

    At this point, we often forget the truth of our existence. We would be nothing without the people who helped us climb the ladder of life. But hurting people during this process can become a habit and with no remorse, or even a compulsion. But this doesn’t lead to true happiness, loneliness will always linger. This is something I did not realise until last summer.

    Learning From My Failures

    I had always been a very carefree and casual human. As a child, I was highly pampered and babied by my parents, specifically my mother. We were four siblings, two sisters and two brothers. All four of us were very different. My siblings had something against me from the very beginning, for obvious reasons. I didn’t care much at the time since I’d already gained a whole bunch of new friends.

    As I grew up, I was filled with self-esteem, confidence and high self-worth. A people’s person, as they called me, I was always in the centre of the spotlight at every gathering, meeting and party. I cultivated an interest in music and along with four of my friends, formed a rock band that proved to be extremely successful and (almost) famous. I fell in love with popularity and recognition. Out of jealousy, my “old-time” friends were no longer around.

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      But right at the peak of my happiness, I started losing people. My siblings had long abandoned me, which I never really cared about. Then due to some unforeseen circumstances, our rock band and our raging popularity seemed to shatter.

      Now I can see clearly it was not a circumstance that broke our band, it was my brash attitude towards life and people. It was not jealousy that repelled my ‘old-time’ friends; it was my crude behaviour towards them. I became so self-absorbed that I never cared how others felt because of my conduct. If I had bothered to stop my brothers and sisters from leaving, I may have learned the lesson of life and avoided this destructive process.

      Discover the Root Cause and Break the Chain

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        People tend to overlook the subtle signs life gives us as lessons, this prevents us from breaking these vicious circles of unwanted situations. We often attribute our flaws to misfortune or bad luck and fail to recognise the real faults that lie without ourselves.

        A rough conduct is the biggest culprit. It made me so blind to my own faults that I continued committing mistakes without taking responsibility for my actions. And not just that, if we fail to recognise the lessons life wants to teach us, these undesirable situations simply repeat themselves.

        The communication gap is another huge factor that contributes to this issue. We must always remember that communication is a two-way process. It happens between two people and compliance from both the sides is required. Communication distortion can lead to serious errors in expression, a disaster for our relationships. Most of these conflicts can be traced back to our relationships. People can become haughty and arrogant because of miscommunication, miss the cues and cause serious clashes. It’s arrogance that then prevents them from correcting their mistakes, so it seems they never learn.

        Grasp the Lessons Life is Trying To Teach You

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          Every one of us creates our own set of moral values and principles. They become the ethics and code of conduct we follow throughout life. While we are born with some values, others are pushed in by our parents and the society. These values determine our thought process, perception and attitude towards everything we come across. But it’s essential to keep an open mind, so new experiences can lead to new skills and proficiencies.

          Committing a mistake is not the end of the world, in fact, it’s entirely natural. But succumbing to the situation only stalls your  learning curve. Stat open minded and accept mistakes as the lessons they are. If you can comprehend what exactly went wrong, it’s a valuable life experience. To prevent these unwanted situations from repeating themselves, you need to face the consequences. You’ll learn a lot about yourself in the process!

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          Last Updated on December 10, 2019

          5 Smart Reasons to Start Journal Writing Today

          5 Smart Reasons to Start Journal Writing Today

          Here’s the truth: your effectiveness at life is not what it could be. You’re missing out.

          Each day passes by and you have nothing to prove that it even happened. Did you achieve something? Go on a date? Have an emotional breakthrough? Who knows?

          But what you do know is that you don’t want to make the same mistakes that you’ve made in the past.

          Our lives are full of hidden gems of knowledge and insight, and the most recent events in our lives contain the most useful gems of all. Do you know why? It’s simple, those hidden lessons are the most up to date, meaning they have the largest impact on what we’re doing right now.

          But the question is, how do you get those lessons? There’s a simple way to do it, and it doesn’t involve time machines:

          Journal writing.

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          Improved mental clarity, the ability to see our lives in the big picture, as well as serving as a piece of evidence cataloguing every success we’ve ever had; we are provided all of the above and more by doing some journal writing.

          Journal writing is a useful and flexible tool to help shed light on achieving your goals.

          Here’s 5 smart reasons why you should do journal writing:

          1. Journals Help You Have a Better Connection with Your Values, Emotions, and Goals

          By journaling about what you believe in, why you believe it, how you feel, and what your goals are, you understand your relationships with these things better. This is because you must sort through the mental clutter and provide details on why you do what you do and feel what you feel.

          Consider this:

          Perhaps you’ve spent the last year or so working at a job you don’t like. It would be easy to just suck it up and keep working with your head down, going on as if it’s supposed to be normal to not like your job. Nobody else is complaining, so why should you, right?

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          But a little journal writing will set things straight for you. You don’t like your job. You feel like it’s robbing you of happiness and satisfaction, and you don’t see yourself better there in the future.

          The other workers? Maybe they don’t know, maybe they don’t care. But you do, you know and care enough to do something about it. And you’re capable of fixing this problem because your journal writing allows you to finally be honest with yourself about it.

          2. Journals Improve Mental Clarity and Help Improve Your Focus

          If there’s one thing journal writing is good for, it’s clearing the mental clutter.

          How does it work? Simply, whenever you have a problem and write about it in a journal, you transfer the problem from your head to the paper. This empties the mind, allowing allocation of precious resources to problem-solving rather than problem-storing.

          Let’s say you’ve been juggling several tasks at work. You’ve got data entry, testing, e-mails, problems with the boss, and so on—enough to overwhelm you—but as you start journal writing, things become clearer and easier to understand: Data entry can actually wait till Thursday; Bill kindly offered earlier to do my testing; For e-mails, I can check them now; the boss is just upset because Becky called in sick, etc.

          You become better able to focus and reason your tasks out, and this is an indispensable and useful skill to have.

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          3. Journals Improve Insight and Understanding

          As a positive consequence of improving your mental clarity, you become more open to insights you may have missed before. As you write your notes out, you’re essentially having a dialogue with yourself. This draws out insights that you would have missed otherwise; it’s almost as if two people are working together to better understand each other. This kind of insight is only available to the person who has taken the time to connect with and understand themselves in the form of writing.

          Once you’ve gotten a few entries written down, new insights can be gleaned from reading over them. What themes do you see in your life? Do you keep switching goals halfway through? Are you constantly dating the same type of people who aren’t good for you? Have you slowly but surely pushed people out of your life for fear of being hurt?

          All of these questions can be answered by simply self-reflecting, but you can only discover the answers if you’ve captured them in writing. These questions are going to be tough to answer without a journal of your actions and experiences.

          4. Journals Track Your Overall Development

          Life happens, and it can happen fast. Sometimes we don’t take the time to stop and look around at what’s happening to us at each moment. We don’t get to see the step-by-step progress that we’re making in our own lives. So what happens? One day it’s the future, and you have no idea how you’ve gotten there.

          Journal writing allows you to see how you’ve changed over time, so you can see where you did things right, and you can see where you took a misstep and fell.

          The great thing about journals is that you’ll know what that misstep was, and you can make sure it doesn’t happen again—all because you made sure to log it, allowing yourself to learn from your mistakes.

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          5. Journals Facilitate Personal Growth

          The best thing about journal writing is that no matter what you end up writing about, it’s hard to not grow from it. You can’t just look at a past entry in which you acted shamefully and say “that was dumb, anyway!” No, we say “I will never make a dumb choice like that again!”

          It’s impossible not to grow when it comes to journal writing. That’s what makes journal writing such a powerful tool, whether it’s about achieving goals, becoming a better person, or just general personal-development. No matter what you use it for, you’ll eventually see yourself growing as a person.

          Kickstart Journaling

          How can journaling best be of use to you? To vent your emotions? To help achieve your goals? To help clear your mind? What do you think makes journaling such a useful life skill?

          Know the answer? Then it’s about time you reap the benefits of journal writing and start putting pen to paper.

          Here’s what you can do to start journaling:

          Featured photo credit: Jealous Weekends via unsplash.com

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