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Don’t Feel Hurt When Others Say “You’re Weird”, Take It As A Compliment Instead

Don’t Feel Hurt When Others Say “You’re Weird”, Take It As A Compliment Instead

Have you ever been called “weird?”  What exactly does that mean?

Usually when someone refers to you as weird, it conjures up negative feelings. You are being told that you are odd, different and that you don’t fit the conventional norms of the day. We are taught early in life that being different is social suicide and going off the quintessential “beaten path” is choosing a life of solitude and ridicule.

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I’ve been blessed to have worn the “weird” label my whole life. And the truth is–I am weird. I have weird views on life, finances and romance. I march to the beat of my own drum and forge my own paths where none previously existed. In short, I am extremely proud and honored to be called “weird.”

“So you’re a little weird? Work it! A little different? OWN it! Better to be a nerd than one of the herd!”~Mandy Hale

Society has conditioned us to be conformist. When you are called weird instead of hearing an insult, you should understand that you have just been paid one of the highest compliments. You have just been told that you are unique, bold, daring, exceptional, authentic and that you are special. Weird people think differently and choose to respond to the world around them differently – they own their individuality. It takes courage to go against the grain and to choose a distinct path in life.

Weird people are divergent thinkers

Being able to see the world, problems and situations from a perspective that is unique from the masses is truly a gift. When you are younger it does cause you a lot of problems. As a child, I’m guessing that your inquisitiveness – like mine – was mistakenly viewed as being obstinate, and difficult and efforts were made to quickly stamp out that “perverse” thinking before it could infect the others. In school, unfortunately we are taught what to think and not how to think for ourselves.

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Divergent thinkers are the ones who change the world. Throughout history, most of our true heroes had views that were directly opposed to the popular opinion of their day. They stood – many times alone – and championed their cause with or without help from others. Being able to see the world through a different set of lenses enables you a unique vantage point and the ability to attack problems and issues in away that no one else can. Your one weird idea could be the catalyst for change this world needs – don’t be tricked into conforming.

Being Weird is a superpower

The ability to own being weird gives you the power to accept the dare. The world throws so much at us and many times ordinary people live ordinary lives because they do not dare rise to the challenge. And this doesn’t mean (although it could) solving world hunger or putting an end to violence forever. Daring behavior shows up in our day-to-day thinking about small things. It is displayed in how we think and respond to political decisions, how we raise our children or how we make financial decisions.

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My husband and I were married very young and we decided that we wanted to live a life without debt or with very little debt. So our first small step was the decision not to use credit cards to make any purchases. When we shared our new endeavor with our loved ones we were patted on the head and told that it was an impossible and very impractical way to live. We were informed that you HAD to have a credit card to travel, rent cars and conduct certain types of business–no two ways about it–it just wasn’t doable in today’s society. My husband and I listened carefully to the advice of our well meaning friends and family and we quietly accepted the dare.

Twenty years later we are still credit card free, have traveled all over the world and rent cars regularly. The most phenomenal part about the whole process is the dare taught us how to be fiscally responsible, set us up for a very early retirement, helped my husband choose his career (he’s an accountant) and given us the ability to counsel others financially. The genesis of our financial success began with a simple dare.

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Denise Hill

Denise shares about psychology and communication tips on Lifehack.

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Last Updated on February 25, 2020

5 Rules for Overcoming Adversity and Emotional Pain

5 Rules for Overcoming Adversity and Emotional Pain

“Some people choose to see the ugliness in this world, the disarray. I choose to see the beauty. To believe there is an order to our days. A purpose.” – from the popular show, “Westworld”

It’s different for us all. My personal quest for purpose began with five stages of grief and one startling realization that everything’s endlessly fragile. Adversity, as it happens by rule, found me terribly unprepared, so I decided to take my time. Today, I can honestly say that I’ve grown.

Ugliness and beauty, good and evil, pain and laughter – everything in the universe consists of two forces that are opposing but complementary. In the face of difficulty, that is the only mantra you need.

Here’s how I learned it and why you should too, with five simple rules.

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1. Embrace the Complexity

Quite insidiously, adversities come in all shapes and sizes. Paralyzing physical disabilities, mind-wracking mental problems, ruthless emotional havocs, all leading to the same painful acknowledgement: all the beauty in the world cannot possibly make up for the ugliness that surrounds us. Shattered to pieces, helpless and bare naked, we sit in our therapy chairs, apologizing for being so negative.

Eventually, what it all comes down to is the nature of negative emotion. Our positives overshadow our negatives, thus wrongly teaching us that the road to well-being is paved with nothing but positive feelings and thoughts. How utterly wrong!

“If you’re not failing every now and then, it’s a sign you’re not doing anything innovative”, Woody Allen said.

It’s a classic “learn from your mistakes” rule, but in this case, it implies growing from negative experiences. Make peace with your negativities and embrace beauty and ugliness alike! Accepting this marvellously complex world just as it is will allow you to find purpose in adversity and meaning in misery.

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2. Find Balance, Regain Control

Still, accepting adversity is only the first step toward eventual victory. One can endure only so much trauma in life; if we’re not prepared to deal with difficulties in a productive way, even the minor setbacks can get us off track. Our strengths come from learning, and the best way to learn is through a series of trials and errors. Just like phases of grief or stages of drug addiction, adversities suggest a disabling loss of control, so find your way to regain it.

Some call it the coping mechanism; for others, it’s a spiritual will. However you choose to name yours, know that not all supporting systems are equally beneficial, though each is effective in its own way. Escapism was mine, but it only helped me retain the illusion of beauty. It wasn’t until I opened up toward the ugliness and accepted the naked truth that I was finally free. Whether you choose to dwell in art, religion and spiritualism, thus feeding your resilience from within or to reach out to others for help, choose wisely.

Whatever the means, the second rule is a golden one: find your inner balance and stick to it. Eventually, it will lead you out of the vicious circle.

3. Fight with Patience

My bargaining turned in depression with a single touch. Fearless and free, my dance instructor timidly put her hands on my shoulders and I realized, for the first time, just how tense, stiff and cloistered I was. And just like that, I started letting go. Adversities have their sneaky ways, but in my experience, becoming aware is what hurts the worst. It took me a year to recover from this little moment of self-discovery, and I know remember it as the edge of the rabbit hole.

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Some sufferings are impossible to console; I know that now. The only way to get through is to, well, get through. Depression and despair are only the beginning of the excruciatingly unnerving process that ravages the mind and shrivels the soul, and once they strike, there is no easy way back. So, fight them with patience. When your head starts spinning and your feet lose ground, go to your happy place. Over there, you’ll be reminded that nothing is forever, not even our little existential psychosis.

Take a deep breath and say “om”. When things cannot be combated, they have to be endured, so practice patience and learn to let go. Finally, keep repeating to yourself that this too shall pass.

4. Keep Swimming

Nothing is impossible, in the end. Your negative thoughts will gently pour into your positive ones, just as two streams come together to become a river. In the event of the inevitable disaster, one can only be as calm as still water. Suffering teaches patience, and the latter gives rise to flexibility. Ultimately, what is life than a series of unfortunate events and a handful of bright moments in between? If adversities are impossible to avoid, than learn to glide through as smoothly and patiently as water does with rocks.

Even if spirituality isn’t exactly your cup of tea, you have to admit that this is one solid metaphor. Staying adaptable in the face of change will soothe your panic attacks and keep you sane and sober-blooded. Even if you fail, you’ll know exactly how to breathe and face what’s in front of you once it eventually strikes again. Stay calm and visualize a better tomorrow; if anything else, it will give you strength to dive deep and weather the storm. And, in case there’s somebody’s hand to reach out to, grab it firmly and don’t let go.

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Being flexible against adversities takes a lot of learning, just as staying brave demands a lot of courage. It’s a long, arduous step-by-step routine, and you can reach the end only by swimming on. Persist, even when you fall.

5. Never Stop Searching for Inspiration

And, if it’s a guidance you need, where else to seek it than in experiences of others? Find it in art, in people around you, in chance encounters. The pure beauty of perseverance can be discovered where you expect it the least, so never stop searching for inspiration. If self-help literature soothes your pains and clears your mind, don’t let cynics discourage you. Your path toward reconciliation is nobody’s but yours to choose.

Ever heard of Nick Vujicic? Or Nando Parado? Inspiring people sound their yawps over the roofs of the world, sometimes voiceless, sometimes limbless, sometimes both. Born without arms, Jessica Cox became the most unusual certified pilot in the world, and you can rarely see her without a smile on her face. If you’ve already ripped all of your bucket lists and said goodbye to your dreams and plans, meet Sean Swarner, who’s officially became the first cancer survivor to climb Mount Everest. The stories just go on.

Make your own guidebook! Pen down your positive thoughts, cover your walls with quotes and devise your personal mantras. Whenever things get hard, they’ll be there to remind you of what you need to do. It’s the simplest of all life hacks, and one of the most effective ones.

Find beauty in the world, but never stay blind for its ugliness. However daunting, adversities and emotional pain challenge our inner strength, thus making us resilient and allowing us to grow. As soon as you recognize them as the wind in your sails instead of the devastating storm, the purpose will become simple and clear.

Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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