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52 Amazing Ways to Give People What They Want

52 Amazing Ways to Give People What They Want

Admit it. You’re sick of being invisible with no clue how to grab attention. You’d prefer people hate you, because at least then people would notice, but the worst is when you’re ignored.

How do you stand out in a noisy world with limitless choices? The answer is easy; provide value. The way to do it is shockingly simple: Give people what they want. Catapult your value game with these 52 phenomenal tips.

1. Admit your mistakes.

If you’ve ever been in a relationship with a person who can’t admit they’re wrong, you know the frustration. No one’s perfect. Humility builds trust. Be quick to apologize and take responsibility.

2. Learn from others’ mistakes.

I grew up in the ghetto and watched people throw their lives away through drug addiction and other vices. I didn’t need to smoke crack to know it was a boneheaded move. Avoid other people’s pitfalls, and shorten the learning curve. It’s the quickest path to success.

3. Combine things.

Books and coffee, cookies and cream, sandwich meat and bread, flowers and chocolates, go well together. Amazing combinations can be obvious or unusual. When you combine great things, you create synergy and opportunities for exponential value growth.

4. Simplify.

As an author, I’ve learned efficient speech and straightforward plots are preferable to redundant words and confusing storylines. Stephen King agrees in his epic masterpiece On Writing.

The concept is the same in life. People want simplicity. Fancy features and limitless choices confuse and frustrate. Find ways to remove the clutter, and you’ll save people time and effort.

5. Give business away to your competitors.

Refer people to others when it’s a better fit. If you lack the expertise or ability to provide value, refer people to someone who can. It will engender goodwill from industry leaders and trust with future clients.

6. Surround yourself with successful people.

If you spend time with value experts, it will rub off. If you hang out with unmotivated losers, ditto.

7. Keep the focus on them.

Ever had a dinner date who wouldn’t stop talking about themselves? How did you feel?

Too much focus on your desires cripples your awareness of those around you. Don’t convince others of your greatness. Instead, learn what you can do for them.

8. Ask them.

Do you remember a day when everything went wrong? I’m talking epic bad day, one when you spilled coffee on yourself and hit all the lights on the way to work. You were certain nothing could change it. Then, something happened.

Someone noticed the frustration on your face. You didn’t have to tell them. They simply asked: Is there anything I can do? With those few words, they disarmed you. They were sincere, and you knew it.

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Learn to ask. You may not get the complete picture, but it’s a starting point. From there, you can maneuver to find the right path.

9. Listen.

Ever poured your heart and soul to someone only to discover they weren’t paying attention? You wanted their advice, but ended up frustrated and forced to repeat yourself.

Don’t just hear what people have to say, actively listen. Better yet, write it down. Keep track of what people say most often. You will gain a clearer picture of what they want and how you can provide value.

10. Dig deeper.

As Simon Sinek would say, Start With The Why. Why do they do what they do? What’s the desire that burns in their heart? We all have the same underlying emotions. We seek love, security, and acceptance. We have passion but are often stymied by fear. Behavior is a reaction to that emotion.

Discover the why, and you can service that need. Unveil the real reason behind people’s actions, and you can fulfill their desires.

11. Ask other people.

People often lie to themselves and tell you what you want to hear. If you’ve ever been told how great you look in a dreadful outfit you get the idea.

Ask someone’s friends to get a better picture. The principle is the same in business. Don’t know how to fulfill a need? Ask someone with insight. People aren’t always aware of what issue they want resolved, but experts can reveal what plagues the user.

12. Reflect.

Create a frequent sounding board for input. Reflection crystallizes the truth and minimizes self-deceit. Make reflection a regular part of business and relationships.

13. Accept gifts.

Ever see a kid’s face light up after you gave them the perfect gift? Didn’t it feel great? Don’t be a Scrooge. Promote a sense of joy and connection. Accept gifts, and create opportunities for others to do the same.

14. Tell them.

Sometimes people need handholding. State how they’ll benefit. Don’t overdo it; just be honest and concise. That’s effective marketing.

15. Be honest.

Honesty is hard, but so are most things that matter. Break through the fear barrier and tell the truth. You’ll create trust and provide actionable advice. Your bravery will establish respect and a loyal following.

16. Research.

Discover if your idea is already being used and how many people you can help. What’s required to launch your product, and what’s the best pricing strategy? Research can direct you to other ideas you might have overlooked. A little research goes a long way.

17. Ask for help.

Don’t be afraid to involve other people when your grand idea hits a snag in execution. Visionary brilliance is the foresight to share the load and forgo the desire to micromanage every minute detail of an operation.

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Delegation is a priceless trait of successful people. Ask for help when you’re stuck and allow humility to increase your value.

18. What’s bothering you?

If you’ve ever experienced a frustration and wondered why someone didn’t handle a problem that seemed simple enough to fix, you’ve stumbled on a potential way to add value. This is especially powerful when you have expertise in that specific field.

Don’t let your frustrations go to waste. Use those obstacles as opportunities to give people what they want.

19. Eliminate problems.

Once you find problems, uncover ways to fix them. Don’t sell yourself short and assume someone’s already taken action. In relationships, it’s all about problem-solving. The more you solve, the more you’ll look like a guru.

20. Anticipate.

What new problems will products create? What issues lie down the road? Anticipate them, and you’ll create more opportunities to provide value.

If you’re great at anticipation, you can create solutions and services to your own pipeline of products. Printer ink is the perfect example. With no printer, there’s little need for ink. Same goes for software and computers or apps and smartphones. Don’t leave anything to chance; be one step ahead, and create the need.

21. What are other people doing?

What are successful people doing now to give people what they want? What about those in healthy relationships? Talk to people who’ve been together for decades and ask them their secret.

22. What’s working now?

Discover what’s hot, and you’ll glimpse how to give people what they want. You can’t chase every trend, but popular products reveal surprising insights and can steer you in the right direction.

23. Execute great service.

People want amazing service, so give it to them. Customer service has steadily declined, and that’s a frequent event in new businesses. If you want to reveal ways to increase value, enhance your service. You can even charge more without losing loyal customers.

24. Learn from failure.

Failure is life’s great teacher. Be smart and learn from those failures. Reflect on why they occurred and what you can do to improve in the future.

25. Smile.

Happiness is contagious. Always make an effort to smile.

26. Say thank you.

Be gracious. A simple thank you demands respect.

27. Write it down.

Record what works. Failure to keep track of what people like will transform your successes into tragic losses.

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28. Repeat your successes.

It’s a no-brainer, but you’d be surprised how many people don’t bother to capitalize on past triumphs. Avoid the temptation of shiny objects in the distance. If someone liked something the first go-round, chances are they’ll like it the second.

29. Say no.

You can’t say yes to everything. Don’t be afraid to say no when it’s not an ideal fit. Select wisely so you can give people more of what they want.

30. Cut the cord.

Some relationships become counter-productive. Cut the cord and move on when you can’t add value. It will save everyone valuable energy.

31. Mentor.

Take Jack Canfield’s advice in The Success Principles, and supercharge your legacy. Help someone else avoid your mistakes and build on your successes. You’ll both gain tremendous benefit.

32. Look for ways to improve.

Avoid complacency, especially in exceptional times. Take the opportunity to analyze your delivery, cost, quality, and features. What can you improve? What problems still exist?

In relationships, seek ways to be creative. Push yourself beyond your comfort zone. Leverage your successes or you’ll get crushed when the wind shifts.

33. Think before you speak.

Before you hit send on that text or email, before you open your mouth to destroy someone who just insulted you, think about the impact of your words. Be the better person. Be specific about how they can improve, and do it without being destructive, or keep quiet until you can.

34. Think before you act.

Don’t behave in a way you’ll regret later. If you’re upset, tired, or otherwise compromised, remove yourself from the situation. Return the next day with fresh eyes. You’ll thank yourself later.

35. Test.

Don’t let impatience keep you from testing the waters. Before you spend a boatload of resources, test out your idea in a small way. What doesn’t work on a tiny scale has little chance on a larger one.

36. Be punctual.

Don’t expect people to believe you value their time if you’re late. You don’t want your time wasted, so treat them with the same respect.

37. Slow down.

Added thought and reflection provides more value. Don’t rush.

38. Pay attention to detail.

When you respect the little things, people will marvel at your extraordinary work.

39. Give your best effort.

When you do your best, you’ll have the best opportunity to give people what they want. They’ll also be more inclined to forgive you when you screw up.

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40. Eliminate fears.

Research common objections. Eliminate the problems, and communicate the solutions. Fear elimination provides its own value, but it also disarms and creates opportunities.

41. Get personal.

Doesn’t it feel fantastic when someone calls you by your name? Show a personal touch, and you’ll be rewarded.

42. Drop an occasional note.

Create a regular system of thank-you and greeting cards to friends and clients. Mail them out on holidays, birthdays, and anniversaries. Sometimes it will be the only note they receive.

43. Don’t over-promise.

Promise less. Follow Scotty’s lead in the original Star Trek, who always told Captain Kirk it would take longer than it would to fix the problem. People will be pleasantly surprised when you over-deliver.

44. Keep your promises.

Once you promise, keep your word. Reliability is a must.

45. Be consistent.

Ever cut your hair at a salon with a different result each time? Did you keep returning? Customers want consistency. Don’t expect to stay in business if you aren’t predictable or reliable.

46. Use systems.

Michael Gerber’s The E-Myth Revisited explains how systems prevent overwork, maintain quality and consistency, and allow for expansion. Effective use of systems creates maximum value. Ignore them at your peril.

47. Pay attention.

Has the blur of life distracted you? Ever broken free from that routine and woken up to dramatic change? Stay relevant and dialed into the needs of others. Pay attention to the subtle signs before they leave you behind.

48. Be flexible.

Adapt or become obsolete. Be like the blade of grass instead of the stiff branch. Give people what they want not what you want. Squash your ego. Be effective, and embrace the change.

49. Keep learning.

Flexibility requires learning. Everything requires learning. Transform your wasted time into opportunities for growth. Become a lifelong learner and you will help more people.

50. Set the example.

People are always watching, so model the action you want people to follow. Strive to behave like those you seek to emulate, and people will benefit from your example.

51. Don’t give up.

You’re guaranteed to fail if you don’t try, so don’t give up. When you persevere through the pain, you’ll transform and grow. Eventually, you’ll reveal the hidden path to added value.

52. Demonstrate integrity.

Trust creation is essential in any healthy relationship. Develop trust through principles of integrity: Honesty, fidelity, discipline, and excellence. Integrity will raise your game to the next level.

If you truly want to give people what they want, step up and take control. Don’t go back to your same old ways. The ball is in your court. Make the change. Bury your fear, and take action.

Featured photo credit: Pixabay via pixabay.com

More by this author

Roy Huff

Author, Scientist, Teacher

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Last Updated on March 21, 2019

11 Important Things to Remember When Changing Habits

11 Important Things to Remember When Changing Habits

Most gurus talk about habits in a way that doesn’t help you:

You need to push yourself more. You can’t be lazy. You need to wake up at 5 am. You need more motivation. You can never fail…blah blah “insert more gibberish here.”

But let me share with you the unconventional truths I found out:

To build and change habits, you don’t need motivation or wake up at 5 am. Heck, you can fail multiple times, be lazy, have no motivation and still pull it off with ease.

It’s quite simple and easy to do, especially with the following list I’m going to show to you. But remember, Jim Rohn used to say,

“What is simple and easy to do is also simple and easy not to do.”

The important things to remember when changing your habits are both simple and easy, just don’t think that they don’t make any difference because they do.

In fact, they are the only things that make a difference.

Let’s see what those small things are, shall we?

1. Start Small

The biggest mistake I see people doing with habits is by going big. You don’t go big…ever. You start small with your habits.

Want to grow a book reading habit? Don’t start reading a book a day. Start with 10 pages a day.

Want to become a writer? Don’t start writing 10,000 words a day. Start with 300 words.

Want to lose weight? Don’t stop eating ice cream. Eat one less ball of it.

Whatever it is, you need to start small. Starting big always leads to failure. It has to, because it’s not sustainable.

Start small. How small? The amount needs to be in your comfort zone. So if you think that reading 20 pages of a book is a bit too much, start with 10 or 5.

It needs to appear easy and be easy to do.

Do less today to do more in a year.

2. Stay Small

There is a notion of Kaizen which means continuous improvement. They use this notion in habits where they tell you to start with reading 1 page of a book a day and then gradually increase the amount you do over time.

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But the problem with this approach is the end line — where the “improvement” stops.

If I go from reading 1 page of a book a day and gradually reach 75 and 100, when do I stop? When I reach 1 book a day? That is just absurd.

When you start a habit, stay at it in the intensity you have decided. Don’t push yourself for more.

I started reading 20 pages of a book a day. It’s been more than 2 years now and I’ve read 101 books in that period. There is no way I will increase the number in the future.

Why?

Because reading 40 to 50 books a year is enough.

The same thing applies to every other habit out there.

Pick a (small) number and stay at it.

3. Bad Days Are 100 Percent Occurrence

No matter how great you are, you will have bad days where you won’t do your habit. Period.

There is no way of going around this. So it’s better to prepare yourself for when that happens instead of thinking that it won’t ever happen.

What I do when I miss a day of my habit(s) is that I try to bounce back the next day while trying to do habits for both of those days.

Example for that is if I read 20 pages of a book a day and I miss a day, the next day I will have to read 40 pages of a book. If I miss writing 500 words, the next day I need to write 1000.

This is a really important point we will discuss later on rewards and punishments.

This is how I prepare for the bad days when I skip my habit(s) and it’s a model you should take as well.

4. Those Who Track It, Hack It

When you track an activity, you can objectively tell what you did in the past days, weeks, months, and years. If you don’t track, you will for sure forget everything you did.

There are many different ways you can track your activities today, from Habitica to a simple Excel sheet that I use, to even a Whatsapp Tracker.

Peter Drucker said,

“What you track is what you do.”

So track it to do it — it really helps.

But tracking is accompanied by one more easy activity — measuring.

5. Measure Once, Do Twice

Peter Drucker also said,

“What you measure is what you improve.”

So alongside my tracker, I have numbers with which I measure doses of daily activities:

For reading, it’s 20 pages.
For writing, it’s 500 words.
For the gym, it’s 1 (I went) or 0 (didn’t go).
For budgeting, it’s writing down the incomes and expenses.

Tracking and measuring go hand in hand, they take less than 20 seconds a day but they create so much momentum that it’s unbelievable.

6. All Days Make a Difference

Will one day in the gym make you fit? It won’t.

Will two? They won’t.

Will three? They won’t.

Which means that a single gym session won’t make you fit. But after 100 gym sessions, you will look and feel fit.

What happened? Which one made you fit?

The answer to this (Sorites paradox)[1] is that no single gym session made you fit, they all did.

No single day makes a difference, but when combined, they all do. So trust the process and keep on going (small).

7. They Are Never Fully Automated

Gurus tell you that habits become automatic. And yes, some of them do, like showering a certain way of brushing your teeth.

But some habits don’t become automatic, they become a lifestyle.

What I mean by that is that you won’t automatically “wake up” in the gym and wonder how you got there.

It will just become a part of your lifestyle.

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The difference is that you do the first one automatically, without conscious thought, while the other is a part of how you live your life.

It’s not automatic, but it’s a decision you don’t ponder on or think about — you simply do it.

It will become easy at a certain point, but they will never become fully automated.

8. What Got You Here Won’t Get You There

Marshall Goldsmith has a great book with the same title to it. The phrase means that sometimes, you will need to ditch certain habits to make room for other ones which will bring you to the next step.

Don’t be afraid to evolve your habits when you sense that they don’t bring you where you want to go.

When I started reading, it was about reading business and tactic books. But two years into it, I switched to philosophy books which don’t teach me anything “applicable,” but instead teach me how to think.

The most important ability of the 21st century is the ability to learn, unlearn, and relearn. The strongest tree is the willow tree – not because it has the strongest root or biggest trunk, but because it is flexible enough to endure and sustain anything.

Be like a willow, adapting to the new ways of doing things.

9. Set a Goal and Then Forget It

The most successful of us know what they want to achieve, but they don’t focus on it.

Sounds paradoxical? You’re right, it does. But here is the logic behind it.

You need to have a goal of doing something – “I want to become a healthy individual” – and then, you need to reverse engineer how to get there with your habits- “I will go to the gym four times a week.”

But once you have your goal, you need to “forget” about it and only focus on the process. Because you are working on the process of becoming healthy and it’s always in the making. You will only be as healthy as you take care of your body.

So you have a goal which isn’t static but keeps on moving.

If you went to the gym 150 times year and you hit your goal, what would you do then? You would stop going to the gym.

This is why goal-oriented people experience yo-yo effect[2] and why process-oriented people don’t.

The difference between process-oriented and goal-oriented people is that the first focus on daily actions while others only focus on the reward at the finish line.

Set a goal but then forget about it and reap massive awards.

10. Punish Yourself

Last two sections are pure Pavlovian – you need to punish bad behavior and reward good behavior. You are the only person who decides what is good and what is bad for you, but when you do, you need to rigorously follow that.

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I’ve told you in point #3 about bad days and how after one occurs, I do double the work on the next day. That is one of my forms of punishments.

It’s the need to tell your brain that certain behaviors are unacceptable and that they lead to bad outcomes. That’s what punishments are for.

You want to tell your brain that there are real consequences to missing your daily habits.[3]

No favorite food to eat or favorite show to watch or going to the cinema for a new Marvel movie- none, zero, zilch.

The brain will remember these bad feelings and will try to avoid the behaviors that led to them as much as possible.

But don’t forget the other side of the same coin.

11. Reward Yourself

When you follow and execute on your plan, reward yourself. It’s how the brain knows that you did something good.

Whenever I finish one of my habits for the day, I open my tracker (who am I kidding, I always keep it open on my desktop) and fill it with a number. As soon as I finish reading 20 pages of a book a day (or a bit more), I open the tracker and write the number down.

The cell becomes green and gives me an instant boost of endorphin – a great success for the day. Then, it becomes all about not breaking the chain and having as many green fields as possible.

After 100 days, I crunch some numbers and see how I did.

If I have less than 10 cheat days, I reward myself with a great meal in a restaurant. You can create your own rewards and they can be daily, weekly, monthly or any arbitrary time table that you create.

Primoz Bozic, a productivity coach, has gold, silver, and bronze medals as his reward system.[4]

If you’re having problems creating a system which works for you, contact me via email and we can discuss specifics.

In the End, It Matters

What you do matters not only to you but to the people around you.

When you increase the quality of your life, you indirectly increase the quality of life of people around you. And sometimes, that is all the “motivation” we need to start.

And that’s the best quote for the end of this article:

“Motivation gets you started, but habits keep you going.”

Keep going.

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More Resources to Help You Build Habits

Featured photo credit: Anete Lūsiņa via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy: Sorites paradox
[2] Muscle Zone: What causes yo-yo effect and how to avoid it?
[3] Growth Habits: 5 Missteps That Cause You To Quit Building A Habit
[4] Primoz Bozic: The Lean Review: How to Plan Your 2019 in 20 Minutes

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