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52 Amazing Ways to Give People What They Want

52 Amazing Ways to Give People What They Want

Admit it. You’re sick of being invisible with no clue how to grab attention. You’d prefer people hate you, because at least then people would notice, but the worst is when you’re ignored.

How do you stand out in a noisy world with limitless choices? The answer is easy; provide value. The way to do it is shockingly simple: Give people what they want. Catapult your value game with these 52 phenomenal tips.

1. Admit your mistakes.

If you’ve ever been in a relationship with a person who can’t admit they’re wrong, you know the frustration. No one’s perfect. Humility builds trust. Be quick to apologize and take responsibility.

2. Learn from others’ mistakes.

I grew up in the ghetto and watched people throw their lives away through drug addiction and other vices. I didn’t need to smoke crack to know it was a boneheaded move. Avoid other people’s pitfalls, and shorten the learning curve. It’s the quickest path to success.

3. Combine things.

Books and coffee, cookies and cream, sandwich meat and bread, flowers and chocolates, go well together. Amazing combinations can be obvious or unusual. When you combine great things, you create synergy and opportunities for exponential value growth.

4. Simplify.

As an author, I’ve learned efficient speech and straightforward plots are preferable to redundant words and confusing storylines. Stephen King agrees in his epic masterpiece On Writing.

The concept is the same in life. People want simplicity. Fancy features and limitless choices confuse and frustrate. Find ways to remove the clutter, and you’ll save people time and effort.

5. Give business away to your competitors.

Refer people to others when it’s a better fit. If you lack the expertise or ability to provide value, refer people to someone who can. It will engender goodwill from industry leaders and trust with future clients.

6. Surround yourself with successful people.

If you spend time with value experts, it will rub off. If you hang out with unmotivated losers, ditto.

7. Keep the focus on them.

Ever had a dinner date who wouldn’t stop talking about themselves? How did you feel?

Too much focus on your desires cripples your awareness of those around you. Don’t convince others of your greatness. Instead, learn what you can do for them.

8. Ask them.

Do you remember a day when everything went wrong? I’m talking epic bad day, one when you spilled coffee on yourself and hit all the lights on the way to work. You were certain nothing could change it. Then, something happened.

Someone noticed the frustration on your face. You didn’t have to tell them. They simply asked: Is there anything I can do? With those few words, they disarmed you. They were sincere, and you knew it.

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Learn to ask. You may not get the complete picture, but it’s a starting point. From there, you can maneuver to find the right path.

9. Listen.

Ever poured your heart and soul to someone only to discover they weren’t paying attention? You wanted their advice, but ended up frustrated and forced to repeat yourself.

Don’t just hear what people have to say, actively listen. Better yet, write it down. Keep track of what people say most often. You will gain a clearer picture of what they want and how you can provide value.

10. Dig deeper.

As Simon Sinek would say, Start With The Why. Why do they do what they do? What’s the desire that burns in their heart? We all have the same underlying emotions. We seek love, security, and acceptance. We have passion but are often stymied by fear. Behavior is a reaction to that emotion.

Discover the why, and you can service that need. Unveil the real reason behind people’s actions, and you can fulfill their desires.

11. Ask other people.

People often lie to themselves and tell you what you want to hear. If you’ve ever been told how great you look in a dreadful outfit you get the idea.

Ask someone’s friends to get a better picture. The principle is the same in business. Don’t know how to fulfill a need? Ask someone with insight. People aren’t always aware of what issue they want resolved, but experts can reveal what plagues the user.

12. Reflect.

Create a frequent sounding board for input. Reflection crystallizes the truth and minimizes self-deceit. Make reflection a regular part of business and relationships.

13. Accept gifts.

Ever see a kid’s face light up after you gave them the perfect gift? Didn’t it feel great? Don’t be a Scrooge. Promote a sense of joy and connection. Accept gifts, and create opportunities for others to do the same.

14. Tell them.

Sometimes people need handholding. State how they’ll benefit. Don’t overdo it; just be honest and concise. That’s effective marketing.

15. Be honest.

Honesty is hard, but so are most things that matter. Break through the fear barrier and tell the truth. You’ll create trust and provide actionable advice. Your bravery will establish respect and a loyal following.

16. Research.

Discover if your idea is already being used and how many people you can help. What’s required to launch your product, and what’s the best pricing strategy? Research can direct you to other ideas you might have overlooked. A little research goes a long way.

17. Ask for help.

Don’t be afraid to involve other people when your grand idea hits a snag in execution. Visionary brilliance is the foresight to share the load and forgo the desire to micromanage every minute detail of an operation.

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Delegation is a priceless trait of successful people. Ask for help when you’re stuck and allow humility to increase your value.

18. What’s bothering you?

If you’ve ever experienced a frustration and wondered why someone didn’t handle a problem that seemed simple enough to fix, you’ve stumbled on a potential way to add value. This is especially powerful when you have expertise in that specific field.

Don’t let your frustrations go to waste. Use those obstacles as opportunities to give people what they want.

19. Eliminate problems.

Once you find problems, uncover ways to fix them. Don’t sell yourself short and assume someone’s already taken action. In relationships, it’s all about problem-solving. The more you solve, the more you’ll look like a guru.

20. Anticipate.

What new problems will products create? What issues lie down the road? Anticipate them, and you’ll create more opportunities to provide value.

If you’re great at anticipation, you can create solutions and services to your own pipeline of products. Printer ink is the perfect example. With no printer, there’s little need for ink. Same goes for software and computers or apps and smartphones. Don’t leave anything to chance; be one step ahead, and create the need.

21. What are other people doing?

What are successful people doing now to give people what they want? What about those in healthy relationships? Talk to people who’ve been together for decades and ask them their secret.

22. What’s working now?

Discover what’s hot, and you’ll glimpse how to give people what they want. You can’t chase every trend, but popular products reveal surprising insights and can steer you in the right direction.

23. Execute great service.

People want amazing service, so give it to them. Customer service has steadily declined, and that’s a frequent event in new businesses. If you want to reveal ways to increase value, enhance your service. You can even charge more without losing loyal customers.

24. Learn from failure.

Failure is life’s great teacher. Be smart and learn from those failures. Reflect on why they occurred and what you can do to improve in the future.

25. Smile.

Happiness is contagious. Always make an effort to smile.

26. Say thank you.

Be gracious. A simple thank you demands respect.

27. Write it down.

Record what works. Failure to keep track of what people like will transform your successes into tragic losses.

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28. Repeat your successes.

It’s a no-brainer, but you’d be surprised how many people don’t bother to capitalize on past triumphs. Avoid the temptation of shiny objects in the distance. If someone liked something the first go-round, chances are they’ll like it the second.

29. Say no.

You can’t say yes to everything. Don’t be afraid to say no when it’s not an ideal fit. Select wisely so you can give people more of what they want.

30. Cut the cord.

Some relationships become counter-productive. Cut the cord and move on when you can’t add value. It will save everyone valuable energy.

31. Mentor.

Take Jack Canfield’s advice in The Success Principles, and supercharge your legacy. Help someone else avoid your mistakes and build on your successes. You’ll both gain tremendous benefit.

32. Look for ways to improve.

Avoid complacency, especially in exceptional times. Take the opportunity to analyze your delivery, cost, quality, and features. What can you improve? What problems still exist?

In relationships, seek ways to be creative. Push yourself beyond your comfort zone. Leverage your successes or you’ll get crushed when the wind shifts.

33. Think before you speak.

Before you hit send on that text or email, before you open your mouth to destroy someone who just insulted you, think about the impact of your words. Be the better person. Be specific about how they can improve, and do it without being destructive, or keep quiet until you can.

34. Think before you act.

Don’t behave in a way you’ll regret later. If you’re upset, tired, or otherwise compromised, remove yourself from the situation. Return the next day with fresh eyes. You’ll thank yourself later.

35. Test.

Don’t let impatience keep you from testing the waters. Before you spend a boatload of resources, test out your idea in a small way. What doesn’t work on a tiny scale has little chance on a larger one.

36. Be punctual.

Don’t expect people to believe you value their time if you’re late. You don’t want your time wasted, so treat them with the same respect.

37. Slow down.

Added thought and reflection provides more value. Don’t rush.

38. Pay attention to detail.

When you respect the little things, people will marvel at your extraordinary work.

39. Give your best effort.

When you do your best, you’ll have the best opportunity to give people what they want. They’ll also be more inclined to forgive you when you screw up.

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40. Eliminate fears.

Research common objections. Eliminate the problems, and communicate the solutions. Fear elimination provides its own value, but it also disarms and creates opportunities.

41. Get personal.

Doesn’t it feel fantastic when someone calls you by your name? Show a personal touch, and you’ll be rewarded.

42. Drop an occasional note.

Create a regular system of thank-you and greeting cards to friends and clients. Mail them out on holidays, birthdays, and anniversaries. Sometimes it will be the only note they receive.

43. Don’t over-promise.

Promise less. Follow Scotty’s lead in the original Star Trek, who always told Captain Kirk it would take longer than it would to fix the problem. People will be pleasantly surprised when you over-deliver.

44. Keep your promises.

Once you promise, keep your word. Reliability is a must.

45. Be consistent.

Ever cut your hair at a salon with a different result each time? Did you keep returning? Customers want consistency. Don’t expect to stay in business if you aren’t predictable or reliable.

46. Use systems.

Michael Gerber’s The E-Myth Revisited explains how systems prevent overwork, maintain quality and consistency, and allow for expansion. Effective use of systems creates maximum value. Ignore them at your peril.

47. Pay attention.

Has the blur of life distracted you? Ever broken free from that routine and woken up to dramatic change? Stay relevant and dialed into the needs of others. Pay attention to the subtle signs before they leave you behind.

48. Be flexible.

Adapt or become obsolete. Be like the blade of grass instead of the stiff branch. Give people what they want not what you want. Squash your ego. Be effective, and embrace the change.

49. Keep learning.

Flexibility requires learning. Everything requires learning. Transform your wasted time into opportunities for growth. Become a lifelong learner and you will help more people.

50. Set the example.

People are always watching, so model the action you want people to follow. Strive to behave like those you seek to emulate, and people will benefit from your example.

51. Don’t give up.

You’re guaranteed to fail if you don’t try, so don’t give up. When you persevere through the pain, you’ll transform and grow. Eventually, you’ll reveal the hidden path to added value.

52. Demonstrate integrity.

Trust creation is essential in any healthy relationship. Develop trust through principles of integrity: Honesty, fidelity, discipline, and excellence. Integrity will raise your game to the next level.

If you truly want to give people what they want, step up and take control. Don’t go back to your same old ways. The ball is in your court. Make the change. Bury your fear, and take action.

Featured photo credit: Pixabay via pixabay.com

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Roy Huff

Author, Scientist, Teacher

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Last Updated on July 17, 2019

The Science of Setting Goals (And How It Affects Your Brain)

The Science of Setting Goals (And How It Affects Your Brain)

What happens in our heads when we set goals?

Apparently a lot more than you’d think.

Goal setting isn’t quite so simple as deciding on the things you’d like to accomplish and working towards them.

According to the research of psychologists, neurologists, and other scientists, setting a goal invests ourselves into the target as if we’d already accomplished it. That is, by setting something as a goal, however small or large, however near or far in the future, a part of our brain believes that desired outcome is an essential part of who we are – setting up the conditions that drive us to work towards the goals to fulfill the brain’s self-image.

Apparently, the brain cannot distinguish between things we want and things we have. Neurologically, then, our brains treat the failure to achieve our goal the same way as it treats the loss of a valued possession. And up until the moment, the goal is achieved, we have failed to achieve it, setting up a constant tension that the brain seeks to resolve.

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Ideally, this tension is resolved by driving us towards accomplishment. In many cases, though, the brain simply responds to the loss, causing us to feel fear, anxiety, even anguish, depending on the value of the as-yet-unattained goal.

Love, Loss, Dopamine, and Our Dreams

The brains functions are carried out by a stew of chemicals called neurotransmitters. You’ve probably heard of serotonin, which plays a key role in our emotional life – most of the effective anti-depressant medications on the market are serotonin reuptake inhibitors, meaning they regulate serotonin levels in the brain leading to more stable moods.

Somewhat less well-known is another neurotransmitter, dopamine. Among other things, dopamine acts as a motivator, creating a sensation of pleasure when the brain is stimulated by achievement. Dopamine is also involved in maintaining attention – some forms of ADHD are linked to irregular responses to dopamine.[1]

So dopamine plays a key role in keeping us focused on our goals and motivating us to attain them, rewarding our attention and achievement by elevating our mood. That is, we feel good when we work towards our goals.

Dopamine is related to wanting – to desire. The attainment of the object of our desire releases dopamine into our brains and we feel good. Conversely, the frustration of our desires starves us of dopamine, causing anxiety and fear.

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One of the greatest desires is romantic love – the long-lasting, “till death do us part” kind. It’s no surprise, then, that romantic love is sustained, at least in part, through the constant flow of dopamine released in the presence – real or imagined – of our true love. Loss of romantic love cuts off that supply of dopamine, which is why it feels like you’re dying – your brain responds by triggering all sorts of anxiety-related responses.

Herein lies obsession, as we go to ever-increasing lengths in search of that dopamine reward. Stalking specialists warn against any kind of contact with a stalker, positive or negative, because any response at all triggers that reward mechanism. If you let the phone ring 50 times and finally pick up on the 51st ring to tell your stalker off, your stalker gets his or her reward, and learns that all s/he has to do is wait for the phone to ring 51 times.

Romantic love isn’t the only kind of desire that can create this kind of dopamine addiction, though – as Captain Ahab (from Moby Dick) knew well, any suitably important goal can become an obsession once the mind has established ownership.

The Neurology of Ownership

Ownership turns out to be about a lot more than just legal rights. When we own something, we invest a part of ourselves into it – it becomes an extension of ourselves.

In a famous experiment at Cornell University, researchers gave students school logo coffee mugs, and then offered to trade them chocolate bars for the mugs. Very few were willing to make the trade, no matter how much they professed to like chocolate. Big deal, right? Maybe they just really liked those mugs![2]

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But when they reversed the experiment, handing out chocolate and then offering to trade mugs for the candy, they found that now, few students were all that interested in the mugs. Apparently the key thing about the mugs or the chocolate wasn’t whether students valued whatever they had in their possession, but simply that they had it in their possession.

This phenomenon is called the “endowment effect”. In a nutshell, the endowment effect occurs when we take ownership of an object (or idea, or person); in becoming “ours” it becomes integrated with our sense of identity, making us reluctant to part with it (losing it is seen as a loss, which triggers that dopamine shut-off I discussed above).

Interestingly, researchers have found that the endowment effect doesn’t require actual ownership or even possession to come into play. In fact, it’s enough to have a reasonable expectation of future possession for us to start thinking of something as a part of us – as jilted lovers, gambling losers, and 7-year olds denied a toy at the store have all experienced.

The Upshot for Goal-Setters

So what does all this mean for would-be achievers?

On one hand, it’s a warning against setting unreasonable goals. The bigger the potential for positive growth a goal has, the more anxiety and stress your brain is going to create around it’s non-achievement.

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It also suggests that the common wisdom to limit your goals to a small number of reasonable, attainable objectives is good advice. The more goals you have, the more ends your brain thinks it “owns” and therefore the more grief and fear the absence of those ends is going to cause you.

On a more positive note, the fact that the brain rewards our attentiveness by releasing dopamine means that our brain is working with us to direct us to achievement. Paying attention to your goals feels good, encouraging us to spend more time doing it. This may be why outcome visualization — a favorite technique of self-help gurus involving imagining yourself having completed your objectives — has such a poor track record in clinical studies. It effectively tricks our brain into rewarding us for achieving our goals even though we haven’t done it yet!

But ultimately, our brain wants us to achieve our goals, so that it’s a sense of who we are that can be fulfilled. And that’s pretty good news!

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Featured photo credit: Alexa Williams via unsplash.com

Reference

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