“Mentally strong people have healthy habits. They manage their emotions, thoughts, and behaviors in ways that set them up for success in life.” – Amy Morin.
Mental strength then is something that can be cultivated. If you are someone who wants to cultivate this mental strength and become more mentally strong, consider these 5 things that mentally strong people would never do and apply it to your own life.
They’d never judge; they gather all the facts
They would never jump to conclusions, without having all the facts and a full understanding of a person and a specific situation. They understand that doing so, is not only stupid but reveals a character flaw. And as mentally strong people they have immensely strong characters that they actively look to improve on a daily basis. Not only that, but they are aware that doing so would be a total waste of time and energy, energy that could be channeled in a more positive way.
They’d never blame difficult people in their lives; they are responsible
“When you say that someone else caused you pain, you unwittingly hand over all of your power to that person.” – Julie Peterson, Learning Mind
They are in full control of their actions and understand that only they are to blame for what they do in their lives. Any decision they make and actions they take is on them. They deal with the consequences. They don’t make excuses for what has happened. They accept full responsibility for every single thing they do. Always.
Further, by blaming difficult people, they know that you are unwillingly handing that power over to that person. They understand that they are in control, of not only their emotions but also their own happiness. They are positive, they are opportunists, and see this as an opportunity for personal growth In their own lives. They understand that difficult people arm them with this knowledge and provide them with the realization of who they don’t want to be.
They’d never lose themselves for the sake of keeping someone.
Mentally strong people know who they are and the actively seek personal growth in their lives at all times. If someone enters their lives, makes them lose their way and compromises their values and what they stand for, they will not hesitate to eradicate that person out of their lives. They are not scared to let go of things and people that do not have a positive impact on their lives. e.g. toxic people are ruthlessly eradicated.
They’d never be afraid of change and growth; change is natural
They understand that change is unavoidable. It is a way of life. It is something that you very often cannot control. This applies to both people and experiences. Subsequently, they are not scared of change. They embrace it.Advertising
Furthermore, they actively seek out new experiences. This not only pushes them out of their comfort zones, providing an opportunity for growth, but causes them to become more adaptable, strengthening who they are as people. In the long run, this sets them up for any future changes that occur naturally within their lives. They understand that change is vitally important to their happiness, even if it’s painful at times.
They’d never be mean to people; each person is facing their own unique challenges
They are kind and nice to people at all times. They understand that each and every person has their own internal battles that they are dealing with. They are also fully aware that being mean is a sign of a person’s own insecurity. As people they are secure. They are strong. They portray this in every action and emotion.Advertising
Last Updated on October 13, 2020
12 Things High Self-Esteem People Don’t Do
Having high self-esteem is important if you are aiming for personal or professional success. Interestingly, most people will high levels of self-esteem act in similar ways. That’s why it’s often easy to pick them out in a crowd. There’s something about the way they hold themselves and speak, isn’t there?
We all have different hopes, dreams, experiences, and paths, but confidence has its own universal language. This list will present some of the things you won’t find yourself doing if you have high self-esteem.
1. Compare Yourself to Others
People with low self-esteem are constantly comparing their situation to others. On the other hand, people with higher self-esteem show empathy and compassion while also protecting their own sanity. They know how much they can handle and when they can offer a helping hand.
In the age of social media, however, social comparisons are nearly ubiquitous. One study found that “participants who used Facebook most often had poorer trait self-esteem, and this was mediated by greater exposure to upward social comparisons on social media”. Basically, you will feel worse about yourself if you are constantly getting glimpses into lives that you consider to be better than yours.
Try to limit your time on social media. Also, when you do start scrolling, keep in mind that each profile is carefully crafted to create the appearance of a perfect life. Check yourself when you find yourself wishing for greener grass.
2. Be Mean-Spirited
People with low self-esteem bully others. They take pleasure in putting other people down. People with positive self-esteem see no need to down other people, choosing instead to encourage and celebrate successes.
If you find that you feel the need to put others down, analyze where that’s coming from. If they’ve had success in life, help them feel good about that achievement. They may do the same for you one day.
3. Let Imperfection Ruin Your Day
Perfectionism isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but obsessing over making everything perfect is a sign that you have low self-esteem and can lead to never-ending negative thoughts. This can turn into an inability to solve problems creatively, which will only make self-esteem issues worse.
Those with high self-esteem disconnect from the results and do their best without expecting perfection.
People with that kind of confidence understand that messing up is a part of life and that each time they aim and miss success, they’ll at least learn something along the way.
If you miss the mark, or if your plan doesn’t work out exactly as you would have liked, take a deep breath and see if you can pivot in order to do better next time.
4. Dwell on Failure
It’s common to hear people dwelling on all the ways things will go wrong. They are positive that their every failure signals an impossible task or an innate inability to do something. People with healthy self-esteem discover why they failed and try again.
People with higher levels of confidence also tend to adopt a growth mindset. This type of thinking supports the idea that most of your abilities can be improved and altered, as opposed to being fixed.
For example, instead of saying, “I’m just not good at math; that’s why I did bad on the test,” someone with a growth mindset would say, “Math is difficult for me, so I’ll have to put in some more practice to improve next time.”
Next time you experience a failure, check out this video to help you believe in yourself again:
5. Devalue Your Self-Esteem
People with high self-esteem value their own perception of themselves – they understand that they come first and don’t feel guilty about taking care of themselves. They believe charity starts within, and if they don’t believe that, they’ll never have a healthy self-image.
Self-care is often top of the priority list for people with self-esteem. For some ways to practice self-care, check out this article.
6. Try to Please Others
They can’t please all the people all the time, so confident people first focus on doing what will make them feel fulfilled and happy. While they will politely listen to others’ thoughts and advice, they know that their goals and dreams have to be completed on their own terms.
7. Close Yourself off
Confident people have the ability to be vulnerable. It’s those with poor self-esteem that hide all the best parts of themselves behind an emotional wall. Instead of keeping the real you a secret, be open and honest in all your dealings.
As Brené Brown, author of Daring Greatly, points out, “Vulnerability is about showing up and being seen”. When you embrace each facet of who you are and allow others to see them as well, it will create deeper, more meaningful connections in your life. When that happens, you’ll realize that perfection doesn’t lead to people liking you more.
You can learn more about the power of vulnerability in this TED talk with Brené Brown:
8. Follow and Avoiding Leading
People with low self-esteem don’t believe they can lead, so they end up following others, sometimes into unhealthy situations. Rather than seeking a sense of belonging, people with high self-esteem walk their own paths and create social circles that build them up.
9. Fish for Compliments
If you’re constantly seeking compliments, you’re not confident. People with high self-esteem always do their best (and go out of their way to do good deeds) because it’s what they want to do, not because they’re seeking recognition. If you need to hear compliments, say them to yourself in the mirror.
You can even try some positive affirmations if you need a confidence boost. Check out these affirmations to get started.
10. Be Lazy
People work harder when they have high self-esteem because they’re not bogged down by doubts and complaints. Those with low self-esteem end up procrastinating and wasting their energy thinking about all the work they have to do rather than rolling up their sleeves and just getting it done.
This may also bounce off perfectionism. Perfectionists often feel intimidated by certain projects if they fear that they won’t be able to complete them perfectly. Tap into your confidence and simply do your best without worrying about a perfect outcome.
11. Shy Away from Risks
When you trust yourself, you’ll be willing to participate more in life. People with low self-esteem are always on the sidelines, waiting for the perfect moment to jump in. Instead of letting life pass you by, have confidence in your success and take the risks necessary to succeed.
People with low self-esteem are always in other peoples’ business – they’re more interested in what everyone else is doing than themselves. People with high self-esteem are more interested in their own life and stay out of others’ affairs.
Instead of participating in idle gossip, talk about some positive news you heard recently, or that fascinating book you just finished. There’s plenty to talk about beyond what this or that person did wrong in their life.
The Bottom Line
Self-esteem is to success in life. People who maintain a healthy level of self-esteem believe in themselves and push themselves to succeed, while those with low confidence feel a sense of entitlement.
If you need a boost in your self-image and mental health, avoid negative self-talk and the other mistakes of people with low self-esteem. You’ll be amazed at the difference it makes.
More Tips on Building Confidence
- 4 Fun Ways to Skyrocket Your Motivation and Confidence
- How to Be Confident: 62 Proven Ways to Build Self-Confidence
- How to Build Self Esteem (A Guide to Realize Your Hidden Power)
Featured photo credit: Christina @ wocintechchat.com via unsplash.com
|||^||Psychology of Popular Media Culture: Social comparison, social media, and self-esteem|
|||^||Brain Pickings: Fixed vs. Growth: The Two Basic Mindsets That Shape Our Lives|
|||^||Forbes: Brene Brown: How Vulnerability Can Make Our Lives Better|