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If You’re Leaving Someone For Not Losing Yourself, Congratulations

If You’re Leaving Someone For Not Losing Yourself, Congratulations

So they’re out of your life for good?

Have you lost someone who has been really important to you, who may even have been the “center of your world”, but who was doing you more harm than good? Have you had to stop seeing someone who intrigued, delighted, or attracted you but ultimately exerted a negative effect on your mental and spiritual health? Have you had to release someone who made you doubt who you were, what you stood for, or even made you feel slightly crazy? Even if you are struggling to see the positive aspects of your situation, at least take a moment to congratulate yourself. Although you will feel a degree of pain that accompanies loss, remind yourself on a daily basis that you have taken an extraordinarily brave step towards healing yourself and improving your life. Maintaining unhealthy relationships is a soul-destroying way to pass your time, so give yourself some well-earned praise for letting go and moving on.

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Why it’s hard to cut even the most toxic of ties

Even when someone has been demonstrably abusive, a persistent liar, or shown themselves to be a thoroughly toxic human being, letting go can still be immensely difficult. If someone has been in your life for a long time or has shared many important experiences with you, your attachment to them may be powerful. It takes great courage to recognize that sometimes, even if someone you like or love has good qualities, they aren’t worthy of a place in your life. You may have considered giving them yet another chance or trying to change yourself in the hope of changing the way they treat you, but to no avail. Listen to your gut instinct, because deep down you know that your decision to leave the relationship was right. Although other people may give you advice, you need to learn to trust your own ability to make decisions. Trust that your past self made the decision to cut contact for a good reason, and remind yourself of this if and when you are ever tempted to reach out to someone you have previously decided to leave behind.

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You’re stronger than you think

It takes maturity to leave an unhealthy relationship and seek out new friends or a new partner. Immature people or those lacking in self-confidence often cling to unhappy or toxic relationships because they are afraid of being alone or making the effort to connect with new people. If you can find the strength to evaluate a relationship and come to the conclusion that it is wreaking havoc with your self-esteem and self image and therefore should be abandoned, you can consider yourself truly grown up. A key skill everyone must learn in adulthood is knowing when to gracefully give up on a relationship that isn’t working.

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If you suspect they aren’t worth it, you’re absolutely correct!

No one worth knowing is worth losing yourself for. When you find yourself feeling “different” or “not like your usual self” around someone, it’s time to seriously consider whether this is a relationship worth keeping. If you have to deny or alter your identity or personality to keep someone around, the situation will never end happily. The world is full of people, and some of them will appreciate and love you for who you are. Why waste your time trying to fit in with those who don’t value who you truly are? When you sense that being in a relationship or friendship with someone comes at the cost of your identity or values, it’s time to leave.

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As one door closes, another door opens

Whilst losing someone close to you takes an emotional toll and leaves behind wounds that take time to heal, the long-term benefits are huge! Think how much time and effort you have probably spent attempting to salvage your toxic relationship. When you choose to stop engaging with the person concerned, you will free up a lot of energy. This can be channeled into self-improvement, enjoyable hobbies, your work, or meeting new, healthier people. The list is endless. In choosing to leave an unhappy relationship, you are also choosing the possibility of a brighter future. Be proud!

Featured photo credit: Cole Patrick via unsplash.com

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Jay Hill

Freelance Writer

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Last Updated on July 15, 2019

41 Beautiful Pictures That Show What True Love Is All About

41 Beautiful Pictures That Show What True Love Is All About

Some things in life are hard to describe, yet we can recognize them when we see them.

Love is one of those things.

True love comes in many different forms, but here are some that many of us know well.

True love means supporting those who can’t support themselves

supportive couple

    A young man comforts his date in Times Square, New York City. Image by mbtrama

    strong hug

      A young man holds his significant other close to him. Image by Brad Fults

      running help

        A young track competitor helps one of her injured opponents over the finish line. Image from ViralNova.com

        feeding kitten

          A soldier in the Korean War takes time to feed a baby kitten. Image from US Naval Insititute

          It’s having the perfect selfie partner

          mom and daughter selfie

            A mother and her daughter take a selfie together. Image by Andrew Fysh

            girlfriends

              Two young girls pose for the camera. Image by Rolands Lakis

              selfies

                A happy couple takes a picture together. Image by Kayla Heineman

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                selfie

                  Two best friends take a selfie together. Image by Jason Wahido

                  dude selfie

                    Friends take a selfie together. Image by Glenn Scofield Williams

                    It’s all the warm fuzzies

                    12748262703_84c008f4e5_z

                      A young man spends time with his dog on a beach. Image by Magdalena Roeseler

                      DSC06952

                        A pet owner hugs his dog while on a day trip in San Francisco. Image by Taro the Shiba Inu

                        It means having a friend to photobomb you

                        photobomb

                          A boy makes a funny face as he poses for a picture with his brother. Image by Michael Bentley

                          old man photobomb

                            A man photobombs his wife while their grandson snaps a picture. Image by Frank

                            family photobomb

                              Family members photobomb their relatives’ Thanksgiving day family photo. Image by Beth Scupham

                              boyfriend photobomb

                                A friend photobombs the photographer and their friend, the woman in the foreground of this photo. Image by Lachlan Hardy

                                True love means being there even when life gets unbearably hard

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                                shoulder to cry on

                                  A family watches the Vermont National Guard depart for Afghanistan. Image by The U.S. Army

                                  flood dog

                                    During a monsoon in the Philippines, a boy carries his dog to safety. Image by Romeo Ranoco

                                    A woman is rescued from flood waters by a resident standing on top of her car during heavy rain in Chalandri suburb north of Athens

                                      A man helps a woman out of her vehicle during a flood in Chalandri, Greece. Image by John Kolesidis

                                      lunch

                                        A woman has lunch with her husband every day, even after he’s passed away. Image from ViralNova.com

                                        hug

                                          A woman hugs the mother of 6-year-old Noah Ponzer, who was one of the victims of the Sandy Hook shootings. Image by Spencer Platt

                                          rubble

                                            An Oklahoma couple pauses while trying to salvage belongings from a family member’s home after a tornado. Image by Adrees Latif

                                            sister and brother

                                              A girl puts her arm around her little brother as they wait outside of Sandy Hook Elementary after gunshots are fired. Image by Reuters.

                                              headstone

                                                A woman sits at her husband’s grave the day before their wedding anniversary. Image from NBC news

                                                It means taking the time for long goodbyes

                                                110321-N-BT887-100

                                                  A man says goodbye to his son before deploying. Image by Official U.S. Navy Page

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                                                  national guard goodbye

                                                    A South Carolina man says goodbye to his son before deploying for Afghanistan. Image by The National Guard

                                                    saying goodbye

                                                      A Sergeant hugs both of his sons before being deployed to Afghanistan. Image by The National Guard

                                                      And cherishing reunions

                                                      husband home

                                                        A woman hugs her husband as she sees him for the first time since his deployment to Iraq. Image by The U.S. Army

                                                        boyfriend home

                                                          A young  woman hugs her significant other as he returns home for Kuwait. Image by The National Guard

                                                          mother hug

                                                            A mother drops to her knees as she hugs her son on her return home from the Persian Gulf. Image by The National Guard

                                                            True love is letting yourself feel young when they’re around

                                                            elderly women

                                                              Two friends on their smartphones. Image by Robert Neff

                                                              feeling young

                                                                A young couple getting their picture taken. Image by db Photograph

                                                                sprinkler dad

                                                                  A father plays in a sprinkler with his daughter at Millennium Park in Chicago. Image by Ben Forsberg

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                                                                  subway couple

                                                                    A young couple on a subway enjoys sharing time together, while the girlfriend’s father sneaks a photo of them. Image by Gareth Williams

                                                                    wheelchairs

                                                                      A couple holds hands on a fall day. Image by David Amsler

                                                                      It’s letting yourself be silly… just because they’ll enjoy it

                                                                      silly faces

                                                                        A grandfather makes faces at the camera with his granddaughters. Image by Tim Pierce

                                                                        vote for pedro

                                                                          A woman’s father wears a Napoleon Dynamite t-shirt to make his daughter laugh. Image by emdot

                                                                          True love is allowing yourself to show how you really feel

                                                                          date night

                                                                            A young couple kisses in the back of a restaurant in Washington, D.C. Image by Derek Key

                                                                            playing violin

                                                                              Violinist Nancy Dinovo plays at a memorial service for the victims of 9/11. Image by Christopher Morris

                                                                              True love is timeless

                                                                              old friends

                                                                                Friends spending some time together. Image by Cristian Bortes

                                                                                sitting around a fire

                                                                                  A group of friends sits around a campfire eating. Image by New Old Stock

                                                                                  elderly couple

                                                                                    An elderly couple walks down a street together. Image by Matteo Paciotti

                                                                                    Featured photo credit: Matteo Paciotti via flickr.com

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