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If You’re Leaving Someone For Not Losing Yourself, Congratulations

If You’re Leaving Someone For Not Losing Yourself, Congratulations

So they’re out of your life for good?

Have you lost someone who has been really important to you, who may even have been the “center of your world”, but who was doing you more harm than good? Have you had to stop seeing someone who intrigued, delighted, or attracted you but ultimately exerted a negative effect on your mental and spiritual health? Have you had to release someone who made you doubt who you were, what you stood for, or even made you feel slightly crazy? Even if you are struggling to see the positive aspects of your situation, at least take a moment to congratulate yourself. Although you will feel a degree of pain that accompanies loss, remind yourself on a daily basis that you have taken an extraordinarily brave step towards healing yourself and improving your life. Maintaining unhealthy relationships is a soul-destroying way to pass your time, so give yourself some well-earned praise for letting go and moving on.

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Why it’s hard to cut even the most toxic of ties

Even when someone has been demonstrably abusive, a persistent liar, or shown themselves to be a thoroughly toxic human being, letting go can still be immensely difficult. If someone has been in your life for a long time or has shared many important experiences with you, your attachment to them may be powerful. It takes great courage to recognize that sometimes, even if someone you like or love has good qualities, they aren’t worthy of a place in your life. You may have considered giving them yet another chance or trying to change yourself in the hope of changing the way they treat you, but to no avail. Listen to your gut instinct, because deep down you know that your decision to leave the relationship was right. Although other people may give you advice, you need to learn to trust your own ability to make decisions. Trust that your past self made the decision to cut contact for a good reason, and remind yourself of this if and when you are ever tempted to reach out to someone you have previously decided to leave behind.

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You’re stronger than you think

It takes maturity to leave an unhealthy relationship and seek out new friends or a new partner. Immature people or those lacking in self-confidence often cling to unhappy or toxic relationships because they are afraid of being alone or making the effort to connect with new people. If you can find the strength to evaluate a relationship and come to the conclusion that it is wreaking havoc with your self-esteem and self image and therefore should be abandoned, you can consider yourself truly grown up. A key skill everyone must learn in adulthood is knowing when to gracefully give up on a relationship that isn’t working.

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If you suspect they aren’t worth it, you’re absolutely correct!

No one worth knowing is worth losing yourself for. When you find yourself feeling “different” or “not like your usual self” around someone, it’s time to seriously consider whether this is a relationship worth keeping. If you have to deny or alter your identity or personality to keep someone around, the situation will never end happily. The world is full of people, and some of them will appreciate and love you for who you are. Why waste your time trying to fit in with those who don’t value who you truly are? When you sense that being in a relationship or friendship with someone comes at the cost of your identity or values, it’s time to leave.

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As one door closes, another door opens

Whilst losing someone close to you takes an emotional toll and leaves behind wounds that take time to heal, the long-term benefits are huge! Think how much time and effort you have probably spent attempting to salvage your toxic relationship. When you choose to stop engaging with the person concerned, you will free up a lot of energy. This can be channeled into self-improvement, enjoyable hobbies, your work, or meeting new, healthier people. The list is endless. In choosing to leave an unhappy relationship, you are also choosing the possibility of a brighter future. Be proud!

Featured photo credit: Cole Patrick via unsplash.com

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Jay Hill

Jay writes about communication and happiness on Lifehack.

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Last Updated on March 25, 2020

How to Crush Your Lack of Motivation and Always Stay Motivated

How to Crush Your Lack of Motivation and Always Stay Motivated

How many times have you not achieved your goals and let yourself down due to your lack of motivation? When you’re not wallowing in sadness and self-pity, you are too busy procrastinating till you can’t anymore and before you know it, you are part of vicious cycle of anxiety and stress.

Whether it’s losing weight or bringing your business to fruition – motivation is essential for growth and success in every sphere of our lives.

That said, it is not easy staying motivated. In order to constantly stay motivated, you need to take ownership of your life and consciously make efforts in that direction.

Well, it’s never too late to take matters in your hands and change the course of your life. Here are 11 effective ways to crush your lack of motivation and always stay motivated:

1. Write Your Goals

The power of writing goals down has always been underestimated. Why write when you can remember, right? Wrong.

Our thoughts are all over the place and the first step to achieve your goals is to organize your thoughts. So, write your goals down, however big or small they might be. Make them as specific as possible and assign deadlines to each of them.

As you write them down and revisit them regularly, they get further drilled in your head, taking you closer to your goals. Doing this small exercise helps you to remain focused, motivated and lets you track your progress with ease.

Start today – take to your laptop or a diary and get down to writing what you wish to achieve in life.

2. Beat Procrastination

Your lack of motivation and procrastination go hand in hand. Every time you procrastinate, your motivation levels take a greater hit. The only way to bring an end to this loop is to stop procrastinating.

Next time you find yourself putting off something for ‘later’, stop and assess the reasons behind it. Get to the root of the cause and eliminate it in order to overcome this poor habit of procrastinating which is sabotaging your life and mental health.

Take a look at this guide and learn how to beat procrastination:

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What Is Procrastination (And the Complete Guide to Stop Procrastinating)

When you finally overcome procrastination, you will realize the positive impact it has on your mood and motivation levels.

3. Celebrate Small Wins

In the quest to achieve the bigger goals in life, we often forget to celebrate the smaller wins along the way. An achievement is an achievement – be it big or small, it deserves to be acknowledged and celebrated.

Finished a project on time? Reward yourself. Managed to run on the treadmill for a good one hour? Pat yourself on the back. Found time to meditate? Celebrate it.

It is these small achievements that reinstate that we are on the right path and take us one step closer to the bigger goals.

So, get into the habit of recognizing and appreciating small wins. You will be surprised to see how this practice helps you stay motivated.

4. Practice Gratitude

It’s easier to whine about what we don’t have rather than counting our blessings. Isn’t it?

Making gratefulness a part of your life is a very important step to retain high motivational levels. It revitalizes our spirits and renews our enthusiasm for life.

So, how do you practice gratitude? For starters, keep a gratitude journal to jot down what you are grateful for, express your gratitude to people you love and spread positivity wherever you go. If you need some inspiration to be thankful for, here it is:

60 Things To Be Thankful For In Life

By doing so, you begin to focus more on what you have rather than what you don’t and that is a great start to stay motivated.

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5. Be Optimistic

Life is not always hunky dory. There will be bad days when things aren’t going in your favor, when you feel lost and all you want to do is give up.

At such times, instead of letting negativity take over your life, adopt an optimistic approach to life. Quit overthinking, ask the right questions and focus on finding solutions.

Yes, there will be hurdles along the way but if you hang on to positive affirmations and hopes, the journey will be a lot smoother. So, with every passing day, sow the seeds of positivity and you are sure to build a positive environment around you.

6. Don’t Dwell on the Past

A lot of times, our lack of motivation stems from the habit of dwelling on the past. This gives rise to fear and regrets, preventing us from making progress in the present day.

Dwelling on the past is nothing but a waste of time. Understand that the past is long gone, and you cannot do anything to change that.

What you can do is make your present day worthwhile. Instead of looking back and having regrets, learn from your mistakes, forgive yourself and move on.

So, the next time you find your mind wandering off to the past, be determined to change the way you think and consciously concentrate on living in the present. This guide can help you:

10 Simple Steps To Let Go Of The Past

7. Face your Fears

You can never find motivation where there is fear. Identify the fear that is pulling you back and tackle it.

If you don’t face your fear head on, you cannot expect to conquer it and renew your motivation.

Ask yourself: What is stopping you? What are you scared of?

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Once you accept your fear, you can work on an action plan and think of solutions to overcome it. This article will give you some effective tips on conquering your fears:

How to Overcome Your Irrational Fears (That Stop You from Succeeding)

Seek external help if required but don’t choose to turn a blind eye over your fears – it will only aggravate matters.

8. Visualize your Success

You must have heard the famous quote, ‘see it to believe it’. That is exactly what visualization is about.

One of the most effective self-motivation techniques, visualizing the process to your desired outcome helps you move in a positive direction and achieve your goal.

Close your eyes and focus all your energies on the minutest of details that will take you where you want to reach. Doing this exercise everyday inspires you to keep going and not lose hope. The vision of attaining success will drive you to do better while instilling belief and confidence.

9. Find Inspiration

Can’t seem to find inspiration inwards? Don’t panic. There are plenty of external sources to gain inspiration from.

From motivational books and quotes to speeches, films and apps – it is a good idea to take help from motivational material to rekindle your spirits and regain your motivation.

Everyone is wired differently. For instance, a self-help book might work for your friend, but it might do nothing to move you. So, find what inspires you and turn to it when you are in desperate need for motivation.

Finding inspiration externally fills you with hope and sometimes that is all you need.

10. Enjoy Downtime

You are clearly exhausted with all the running you’re doing in life. So much, that you don’t even have time to stop and think what’s causing you so much unhappiness. All you know is that you are lacking motivation and everyday seems to have become a struggle.

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Now, that’s certainly not how you should live the rest of your life.

You need to schedule downtime for yourself, relax and give your mind and body some rest. Take a vacation, indulge in hobbies, meet some friends, put your hair down and stop with all the overthinking. It is important to do things that make you happy in order to think clearly and stay motivated.

11. Meditate Regularly

Meditation lets you take control of your mind. It improves focus and concentration while helping you relax.

Whenever you have had a tough day or find your thoughts going places, the best way to calm yourself down is by closing your eyes and meditating. It helps you to remove all the unnecessary frills in life and keeps you on the right track.

Include meditation in your daily schedule and you are sure to see an improvement in your productivity and motivation.

The Bottom Line

Practicing these simple exercises isn’t the tough part, what’s tough is religiously doing them every day.

However, don’t expect to get rid of your lack of motivation overnight. There will still be days when you will be low on energy but by making these conscious efforts to stay motivated, you are sure to see a vast change in your perspective and your response to bad days.

So, start today and be committed to making a positive change in your life.

More Tips About Staying Motivated

Featured photo credit: Sonnie Hiles via unsplash.com

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