Advertising
Advertising

8 Important Lessons Everyone Should Keep Learning For Better Life

8 Important Lessons Everyone Should Keep Learning For Better Life

While we all face challenges in life, we are arguably our own worst enemies when it comes to conceiving and pursuing goals. This is because we tend to create boundaries and excuses that limit our ambitions, either due to a fear of failure or a lack of self-belief.

These self-imposed restrictions can be difficult to lift, unless you commit to learning from your mistakes and heeding the meaning of pivotal life lessons. With this approach, you can gradually coach your mind, change your outlook and practice skills that free your mind from inhibitions.

8 Important Life Lessons that we must continually learn for a better life

With this in mind, what are the key lessons that we must continue to learn if we are to enjoy a more fulfilling life? Here are eight of the most important:

1. You are never too old to learn new things

This is arguably the most important life lessons, as we often tell ourselves that we are too old or jaded to accept new challenges. This is a debilitating misconception, however, and one that has been contradicted by a host of famous people throughout history. World renowned fashion designer Vera Lang did not create a garment until she was 39, for example, while the now-deceased Hollywood actor Alan Rickman didn’t land an adult film role until he was 28.

Advertising

The lesson here is simple, as quite simply it is never too late to accept exciting challenges and learn new skills for the better.

2. You can turn mistakes into Positive Learning Experiences

On a similar note, we have already touched on the fact that there is a tendency to avoid difficult challenges because of an innate fear of failure. It was Theodore Roosevelt who opined that “the only man who never makes a mistake is the man who never does anything.” This reaffirms that we must take risks and push ourselves if we are to achieve life goals.

It also underlines the importance of embracing our mistakes, turning them into positive learning exercises and using them to shape our future efforts.

3. You can leave the past and move on

Our innermost fears and insecurities are often linked to our pasts, which subconsciously alter our outlooks and change the ways in which we think about the future. Just as you can learn from mistakes and glean positives from failure, you can also heed lessons from past experiences before leaving them behind and moving on with your life. Of course, this is far easier said than done, but the process of altering your mind-set for the better begins with accepting the things that have happened in the past and leveraging them as a springboard for a brighter future. Arguably one of the most important life lessons that you will ever learn, this prevents failures and hardship from hindering your development over time.

Advertising

4. You can alter your Outlook through the use of Colour

As we can see, our mood and outlook are extremely important in shaping how we think about specific events. They also dictate our feelings from day to day, meaning that those who are already prone to bouts of anxiety or insecurity can suffer from regular fluctuations in mood and attitude. With this in mind, it is important that you tailor your surroundings to drive positive sentiment and create an environment in which you are comfortable and happy.

One way to achieve this is through the use of colour, as alternative shades solicit different moods and emotions. As individuals, there are also cultural, psychological and physical factors that influence how we perceive colours, so understanding these can help us to create living and working environments that bring the best out of our psyches.

5. You can always make a difference in someone’s Life

When you encounter difficult times or find yourself weighed down with insecurity, it is easy to believe that nobody truly cares for you. This is simply not true, however, as we all have friends and loved ones who care a great deal about us and believe in the unique value that we offer as individuals.

It is important to appreciate this, and maintain a sense of perspective when evaluating our lives. After all, we have an unconscious ability to impact on the lives of those who love us, as they tend to share our sadness and sense of loss. If we are able to recognise our own importance and seek out the positives in this, we can make a huge difference in the lives of our friends and family members.

Advertising

6. You are not going to be liked by everyone

Conversely, it is important to recognise that you are not going to have such a positive impact on everyone. In fact, there are some people who will dislike you throughout the course of your life, and this can be extremely distressing for those with insecurities or low-esteem who are desperately keen to please everyone.

You must learn that is OK not to be liked by everyone, however, and that this is an inescapable fact of life. This is a life lesson that can be exceptionally difficult to absorb, but the key is to focus on the individuals who are close to you and learn to appreciate their opinions ahead of others. After all, these people know you better than anyone and offer a far greater gauge of your popularity.

7. You must take responsibility for your own life

This is a tricky one, as blame culture can take hold when we experience hardship or negative events in our lives. This causes us to blame other people and external circumstances for the issues that we have encountered, which just so happens one of the main character traits of those who struggle to cope with the demands of everyday life.

This was evident in the wake of the great recession, when the world’s leading banks were blamed for irresponsible lending. Customers also borrowed more than they could afford to repay, however, and many struggled to take responsibility for their own finances during this time. This is the key to a happy and successful existence, as it creates a more proactive mind-set and enables you to assume greater control over the course that your life will take.

Advertising

8. You can do anything that your mind is able to conceive

If there is one trait that distinguishes positive people, it is an ability to think positively. More specifically, they understand that they are capable of achieving anything that their mind is able to conceive, so long as they are willing to showcase determination, work-ethic and a forward-thinking outlook.

Take the example of Nick Vujicic, for example, who was born with no arms and legs and yet has gone on to become a globally-renowned evangelist and source of inspiration for millions of people across the world. He has achieved this through the power of faith and positive thinking, which has enabled him to absorb his experiences and leverage them for good.

With this type of outlook, you can eliminate the inhibitions and limitations that often close your mind to new and exciting opportunities.

More by this author

10 Reasons A Long-Distance Relationship Will Work 12 iPhone 6 Tricks You Probably Don’t Know But Should We Are Often Confused Empathy With Sympathy but What’s The Difference Actually? To Make Wise Decisions, Ask Yourself These Questions Every Time No Matter What You Say, the First Thing People Pay Attention to Is Only How You Say It

Trending in Communication

1 Procrastination Is a Matter of Emotion, Here’s How to Stop It 2 What Does Self-Conscious Mean? (And How to Stop Being It) 3 How to Get Unstuck in Life and Live a More Fulfilling Life 4 What Will Happen When You Surround Yourself With Positive People? 5 How to Surround Yourself With Positive People

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on March 30, 2020

What Does Self-Conscious Mean? (And How to Stop Being It)

What Does Self-Conscious Mean? (And How to Stop Being It)

Have you ever walked into a room and felt like your nerves simply couldn’t handle it? Your heart beats fast, you start to sweat, and you feel like all eyes are on you (even if they’re really not). This is just one of the many ways that being self-conscious can rear its ugly head.

You may not even realize you’re self-conscious, and you may be wondering, “What does self-conscious mean?” That’s a good place to start.

This article will define self-consciousness, show how practically everyone has faced it at one point or another, and give you tips to avoid it.

What Does Self-Conscious Mean?

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, self-conscious is defined as “conscious of one’s own acts or states as belonging to or originating in oneself.”[1]

Not so bad, right? There’s another definition, though — one that speaks more to what you’re going through: “feeling uncomfortably conscious of oneself as an object of the observation of others.” For those of us who regularly deal with extreme self-consciousness, that second definition sounds about right.

There are many different ways self-consciousness can spring up. You may feel self-conscious around people you know, like your family members or closest friends. You may feel self-conscious at work, even though you spend hours every week around your co-workers. Or you may feel self-conscious when out in public and surrounded by strangers. However, you probably don’t feel self-conscious when you’re home alone.

How to Stop Being Too Self-Conscious

When you’re in the throes of self-consciousness, it’s nearly impossible to remember how to stop feeling that way. That’s why it’s so important to prepare ahead of time, when you’re feeling ready to tackle the problem instead of succumbing to it.

Here are a variety of ways to feel better about yourself and stop thinking about how others see you.

Advertising

1. Ask Yourself, “So What?”

One way to banish negative, self-conscious thoughts is to do just that: banish them.

The next time you walk into a room and feel your face getting red, think to yourself, “So what?” How much does it really matter if people don’t like how you look or act? What’s the worst that could happen?

Most of the time, you’ll find that you don’t have a good answer to this question. Then, you can immediately start assigning such thoughts less importance. With self-awareness, you can acknowledge that your negative thoughts are present and realize that you don’t agree with them.[2] They’re just thoughts, after all.

2. Be Honest

A lie that self-consciousness might tell is that there’s one way to act or feel. Honestly, though, everyone else is just figuring life out as well. There isn’t a preferred way to show up to an event, gathering, or public place. What you can do is be honest with your feelings and thoughts.[3]

If you feel offended by something someone says, you don’t have to smile to be polite or laugh to fit in with the crowd. Instead, you can politely say why you disagree or excuse yourself and find a group of people who you relate to better. If you’re nervous, don’t overcompensate by trying to look relaxed and casual — it’ll be obvious you’re putting on a front. Instead, nothing is more endearing than saying, “I’m a little nervous!” to a room of people who probably feel the exact same way.

On the same note, if you don’t understand why someone wants you to do something, question it. You can do this at work, at home, or even with people you don’t know well. Nobody should force you to do something you don’t want to do.

Also, even if you’re willing to do what’s asked of you, there’s nothing wrong with asking for more clarification. People will realize that you’re not a person to be bossed around.

3. Understand Why You’re Struggling at Work

Being self-conscious at work can get in the way of your daily responsibilities, your relationships with co-workers, and even your career as a whole. If you’re facing some sort of conflict but you’re too nervous to speak up, you may be at the whim of what happens to you instead of taking some control.

Advertising

If you’re usually confident at work, you may be wondering where this new self-consciousness is coming from. It’s possible that you’re dealing with burnout.[4] Common signs are anxiety, fatigue and distraction, all of which can leave you feeling under-confident.

4. Succeed at Something

When you create success in your life, it’s easier to feel confident[5] and less self-conscious. If you feel self-conscious at work, finish the project that’s been looming over your head. If you feel self-conscious in the gym, complete an advanced workout class.

Exposing yourself to what you’re scared of and then succeeding at it in some way (even just by finishing it) can do wonders for your self-esteem. The more confidence you build, the more likely you are to have more success in the future, which will create a cycle of confidence-building.

5. Treat All of You — Not Just Your Self-Consciousness

Trying to solve your self-consciousness alone may not treat the root of the problem. Instead, take a well-rounded approach to lower your self-consciousness and build confidence in areas where you may struggle.

Even professional counselors are embracing this holistic type of treatment[6] because they feel that the health of the mind and body are inextricably linked. This approach combines physical, spiritual, and psychological components. Common activities and treatments include meditation, yoga, massage, and healthy changes to diet and exercise.

If much of this is new to you, it will pay to give it a try. You never know how it will impact you.

If you’re feeling self-conscious about how your body looks, a massage that makes you feel great could boost your confidence. If you try a new workout, you could have something exciting to talk about the next time you’re in a group setting.

Putting yourself in a new situation and learning that you can get through it with grace can give you the confidence to get through all sorts of events and nerve-wracking moments.

Advertising

6. Make the Changes That Are Within Your Control

Let’s say you walk into a room and you’re self-conscious about how you look. However, you may have put a lot of time and effort into your outfit. Even though it may stand out, this is how you have chosen to express yourself.

You have to work on your internal confidence, not your external appearance. There’s nothing to change other than your outlook.

On the other hand, maybe there’s something that you don’t like about yourself that you can change. For example, maybe you hate how a birthmark on your face looks or have varicose veins that you think are unsightly. If you can do something about these things, do it! There’s nothing wrong with changing your appearance (or skills, education, etc.) if it’s going to make you more confident.

You don’t have to accept your current situation for acceptance’s sake. There’s no award for putting up with something you hate. Confidence is also required to make changes that are scary, even if they’re for the better. Plus, it may be an easier fix than you thought. For example, treating varicose veins doesn’t have to involve surgery — sometimes simple compression stockings will take care of the problem.[7]

7. Realize That Everyone Has Awkward Moments

Everyone has said something awkward to someone else and lived to tell the tale. We’ve all forgotten somebody’s name or said, “You too!” when the concession stand girl says to enjoy our movie. Not only are these things uber-common, but they’re not nearly as embarrassing as you feel they are.

Think about how you react when someone else does something awkward. Do you think, “Wow, that person’s such a loser!” or do you think, “What a relief, I’m not the only one who does that.” Chances are good that’s the same reaction others have to you when you stumble.

Remember, self-consciousness is a state of mind that you have control over. You don’t have to feel this way. Do what you need to in order to build your confidence, put your self-consciousness in perspective, and start exercising your “I feel awesome about myself” muscle. It’ll get easier with time.

When Is Being Self-Conscious a Good Thing?

Self-consciousness can sometimes be a good thing[8], but you have to take the awkwardness and nerves out of it.

Advertising

In this case, “self-aware” is a much better term. Knowing how you come off to people is an excellent trait; you’ll be able to read a room and understand how what you do and say affects others. These are fantastic skills for people work and personal relationships.

Self-awareness helps you dress appropriately for the occasion, tells you that you’re talking too loud or not loud enough, and guides a conversation so you don’t offend or bore anyone.

It’s not about being someone you’re not — that can actually have adverse effects, just like self-consciousness. Instead, it’s about turning up certain aspects of yourself to perform well in the situation.

Final Thoughts

When you’re self-conscious, you’re constantly battling with yourself in an effort to control how other people view you. You try to change yourself to suit what you think other people want to see.

The truth, though, is that you can’t actually control how other people view you — and you may not even be correct about how they view you in the first place.

Being confident doesn’t happen overnight. Instead, it happens in small steps as you slowly build your confidence and say “no” to your self-consciousness. It also requires accepting that you’re going to feel self-conscious sometimes, and that’s okay.

Sometimes worrying that there is a problem can be more stressful than the problem itself. Feeling bad for feeling self-conscious can be more troublesome than simply feeling it and getting on with the day.

Forgive yourself for being human and make the small changes that will lead to better confidence in the future.

More Tips for Improving Your Self-Esteem

Featured photo credit: Cata via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] Merriam-Webster: Self-conscious
[2] Bustle: 7 Tips On How To Stop Feeling Self-Conscious
[3] Marc and Angel: 10 Things to Remember When You Feel Unsure of Yourself
[4] Bostitch: How to Protect Small Businesses From Burnout
[5] Psychology Today: Self-conscious? Get Over It
[6] Wake Forest University: Embracing Holistic Medicine
[7] Center for Vein Restoration: What Causes Venous Ulcers, and How Are They Treated?
[8] Scientific American: The Pros and Cons of Being Self-Aware

Read Next