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5 Reasons Why The Universe Is Not Giving You What You Want in Life

5 Reasons Why The Universe Is Not Giving You What You Want in Life

When my life was a mess I would blame the Universe. Over and over I would say, “Why me? What have I done to deserve this? It’s not fair. Why does this happen to me all the time?”

Then I read THE SECRET. The Secret introduced me to the Law of Attraction and I believed that this was how I could get the Universe to work for me rather than against me. I didn’t know much about the Law of Attraction.  I didn’t really understand how it worked or how it was connected to the Universe. I thought the Universe was a space where if I sent out positive thoughts I would get positive results.

Famous people such as Oprah Winfrey had endorsed the Secret and they shared their stories of how the Law of Attraction changed their lives for the better. The Secret success was unbelievable.

I remember at the time thinking that if the Secret works for all these famous and successful people, surely it would work for me? I followed the Secret’s 3-step formula, Ask, Believe and Receive, and waited for the Law of Attraction to start working in my life.

During the time of reading the Secret I lost my job. I was devastated and I felt I was a failure. I was miserable and gave up reading the Secret or thinking about the Law of Attraction. Its funny though, when you feel your life is at rock bottom and you come to a point where you have a choice – do I continue on with this downward spiral or do I try and figure a way out of this?

The easier option is to do nothing but I chose to try and figure a way out. I decided to put the Law of Attraction and the teachings of the Secret to the test. I set out to manifest my perfect job according to how I thought it should be done.

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I did get a job but I took the job for all the wrong reasons. I knew this job was not for me the moment I went into the interview. I did not listen to my intuition.  I had made a deal with the Universe to using the 3 step formula from the Secret to manifest this perfect job into my life. This was the first job offer so this must be the one and I took it.

Three months later I lost the job. I found myself again, feeling like a big failure, zero self-esteem, zero confidence and very little self-belief. Again I had to pull myself out of this deep dark hole and start over. It was at this point that I realized that teachings of the Secret were not for me.

The question I asked myself was; “How could I get the Universe to listen and work for me rather than against me?”

I discovered that there were 5 reasons why the Universe was not listening to me. Once I understood these 5 reasons I was finally able to get the Universe working alongside me.

1. I had no idea what the Laws of Universe were or how they worked

There are 12 Universal Law that govern the physical, emotional, environmental and spiritual elements of the universe.  Of the 12 Universal Laws there are four laws that influence me the most. When I understood how these four laws worked, my relationship with the Universe improved dramatically.

  1. The Law of Action – action must be employed in order for us to get what we want in life. We must engage actions that support our thoughts, dreams, emotions and words. No action no results
  1. The Law of Cause and Effect – nothing happens by chance or outside of the Laws of the Universe – every action (including thought) has a reaction or consequence. Even if you choose to do nothing you still have a consequence. Procrastinate and there is a consequence. You cannot escape the law of cause and effect.
  1. The Law of Attraction – this law demonstrates how we create the things, events and people that come into our lives. Our thoughts feelings and words and actions produce energies, which in turn attract like energies. Negative attracts negative and positive attracts positive.
  1. The Law of Perpetual Transmutation of Energy – the law states that every person has the power within them to change the conditions of their lives through using our power of choice. Our power of choice is pivotal in regard to how we want to live our lives. The power of choice enables us to change the energies in our lives.

My relationship with the Universe now operates on these four laws – action, consequence, positive energy and the power of choice. Start working with the universal laws that resonate with you. You will find overtime that the Universe will respond and start working with you to achieve all that you desire in your life..

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2. I did not know the difference between setting goals and achieving goals

I read an article by John Assaraf where he said that the reason why it is difficult to attract what you want in life is because we don’t understand the difference between setting a goal and achieving a goal. When you set a goal you are operating on an imaginative and rational level. When you work to achieve a goal you are operating on a habitual and emotional level. The energies are very different.

The desire for a goal is “energy in motion” and unless you keep this desire strong it will quickly disappear and lose its strength. This was happening to me all the time, especially when it came to losing weight and getting fit! I always found it a battle. I would start of with a hiss and a roar however over time it all became too hard and I would give up.

Once I understood how to work with the different energies that are the essential elements of setting and achieving goals I felt more confident about my abilities and myself. I also found that I began to have more positive experiences in my life and my relationship with the Universe improved. Over time I stopped bargaining with the Universe and became more open to receiving from the universe.

3. I Would Take Action Before Aligning My Mind Body and Soul

John Assaraf believes that the reason why some people never achieve positive results is because their conscious thoughts which are positive are not aligned to their unconscious beliefs, habits and values. If you are not aligned in your mind, body and soul although your conscious mind desires greatness your subconscious will block it.

“Your conscious mind is your chooser and your subconscious mind your implementer” John Assaraf

To attract the positive things in my life I needed to work on getting my conscious and subconscious mind in sync. Once I got this figured out I became much better at managing all the emotions and thoughts that are essential to me setting and achieving my goals.

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4. I spent a lot of time trying to feel good but not dealing with what made me feel bad

I thought long and hard about including this reason as it is a complicated one. Why I wanted to share this reason is because I believe we are conditioned to think that we have to be positive and upbeat all the time and if we are not we will never achieve our dreams, be a success or live the life we desire.

Events can happen in our lives that are traumatic and painful. It is times like these that it becomes very hard to be positive and upbeat about life especially when you feel so bad. There are also times in our life where we just feel sad, scared or frustrated. I was spending too much time focusing on having to be positive and feeling good that I was not dealing with my feelings of sadness, grief, pain and fear.

I do agree that maintaining a positive attitude and outlook about life is powerful and you do have more energy and happiness in life. However ignoring your feelings of pain or sadness only results in you burying these feelings deep within you. These feelings are real. They will not stay buried for long and at some point they will surface.

When I lost my third job in 18 months I realized that something was not quite aligned in my life. I needed to sort it because I wanted to have more control back into my life. I didn’t know why these terrible things kept happening to me. Why wasn’t the Universe helping me?

It’s a fine balance to manage and process these feelings and not get drawn into the vortex of negativity. My advice is that you spend time acknowledging your feelings but then move quickly to finding more positive things to focus on in your life.

I found that by dealing with my feelings of sadness, pain and grief I became more self aware and more resilient. As a result my thoughts and energies were more aligned and thus my relationship with the Universe became stronger.

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 5. I spent too much time pursuing happiness that I missed the joy of the present

“Success and happiness are always missed by those who leave the present unattended to.”   Edmond Mbiaka

The Universe for a long time was telling me over and over  to enjoy these moments of happiness I was having right now in my life. I was so busy chasing my happiness in the future that I wasn’t listening. I kept blaming the Universe for all the bad in my life and as a result my relationship with the Universe languished.

The saying “stop and smell the roses” is so true about living life in the present. It also reminds us to be more aware of the practice of gratitude and appreciation. If we were truly living in the present we would be practicing appreciation and gratitude on a daily basis.

I now have a gratitude journal where I try every day to write down 5 things that I am grateful for. It is amazing how uplifting you feel when you read your gratitude journal. A smile is not far away when you consistently appreciate and are grateful for the good things that are present right now in your life.

Hanging out with your best friends, going for a walk, sitting in silence, reading a good book, helping out a friend in need or even a stranger are just a small number of examples of how we can live happy lives in the present.

If you address these 5 reasons I guarantee your relationship with the universe will flourish. You will find that you will become more resilient to the challenges that life throws at you and the best thing is , you will be a lot happier.

“The universe doesn’t give you what you ask for with your thoughts – it gives you what you demand with your actions.”  Steve Maraboli

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Kathryn Sandford

Career Resilience Coach passionate about supporting others to grow and thrive in a complex world.

How to Be Patient and Take Charge of Your Life What Is the Purpose of Life and What Should You Live For? How Continuous Improvement Can Enhance Your Personal Life Adapting to Change: Why It Matters and How to Do It 10 Emotional Regulation Skills for a Healthier Mind

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Last Updated on December 9, 2019

5 Simple Ways to Relieve Stress Effectively

5 Simple Ways to Relieve Stress Effectively

Everyone experiences mental stress at one time or another. Maybe you’re starting a new career, job, or business, or you feel incredibly overwhelmed between work, parenting, and your love life (or a lack of it). It could even be that you simply feel that you have way too much to do and not enough time to do it,  plus, on top of everything, nothing seems to be going the way it should!

Yup, we all experience mental stress from time-to-time, and that’s okay as long as you have the tools, techniques and knowledge that allow you to fully relieve it once it comes.

Here are 5 tips for relieving mental stress when it comes so you can function at your best while feeling good (and doing well) in work, love, or life:

1. Get Rationally Optimistic

Mental stress starts with your perception of your experiences. For instance, most people get stressed out when they perceive their reality as “being wrong” in some way. Essentially, they have a set idea of how things “should be” at any given moment, and when reality ends up being different (not even necessarily bad), they get stressed.

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This process is simply a result of perception and can be easily “fixed” by recognizing that although life might not always be going as YOU think it should, it’s still going as it should—for your own benefit.

In fact, once you fully recognize that everything in your life ultimately happens for your own growth, progress, and development—so you can achieve your goals and dreams—your perception works in your favor. You soon process and respond to your experience of life differently, for your advantage. That’s the essence of becoming “rationally optimistic.”

The result: no more mental stress.

2. Unplug

Just like you might need to unplug your computer when it starts acting all crazy, you should also “unplug” your mind.

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How on earth do you unplug your mind? Simple: just meditate.

It isn’t nearly difficult or complicated as some people think, so, if you don’t already meditate, give it a try. Whether you meditate for 5 minutes, 30 minutes, or 2 hours, this is a surefire way to reduce mental stress.

Meditation has been scientifically proven to relax your body (resulting in less mental stress), while also reducing anxiety and high blood pressure.

3. Easy on the Caffeine

Yes, we know, we know—everyone loves a nice java buzz, and that’s okay, but there’s a fine line between a small caffeine pick-me-up and a racing heart and mind that throws you into a frenzy of mental stress.

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Try giving up caffeine for a while and see how you feel. And, if that’s completely out of the question for you, at least try to minimize it. You might find that lots of your mental stress mysteriously “disappears” as your caffeine intake goes down.

4. Attack Mental Stress Via the Back Door

That’s right: your body and mind are part of the whole being, and are constantly influencing and affecting each other. If you’re experiencing a lot of mental stress, try to reduce it by calming your body down—a calm body equals a calmer mind.

How do you calm your body down and reduce physical stress? A  great way to reduce physical stress (thereby reducing mental stress) is to take natural supplements that are proven to reduce stress and anxiety while lifting your mood. Three good ones to look into are kava-kava, St John’s wort, and rhodiola rosea:

  • Kava-kava is a natural plant known to have mild sedative properties, and you should be able to find it at your natural health food store or vitamin store. It’s available in capsules or liquid extract form.
  • St John’s wort is a natural flower used to treat depression. Again, it’s found at your local health store in capsules or liquid. Because it uplifts mood (enabling you to see the brighter side of all experiences) it helps relieve mental stress as well.
  • Rhodiola rosea is a natural plant shown to reduce stress and uplift mood, and Russian athletes have been using it forever. Like the other two supplements mentioned, rhodiola rosea can be found at your natural health store in capsule or liquid form.

While these supplements are all natural and can be very helpful for most people, always check with your health care provider first as they can cause side-effects depending on your current health situation etc.

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5. Good Old-Fashioned Exercise

This tip has been around forever because it works. Nothing relieves mental stress like running, kickboxing—you name it. Anything super-physical will wipe out most of your mental stresses once the exercise endorphins (happy chemicals) are released into your brain.

The result: mental stress will be gone!

So, if you’re feeling overwhelmed or just plain stressed, try using some of the above tips. You can even print this out or save it to refer to regularly.

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Featured photo credit: Radu Florin via unsplash.com

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