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5 Reasons Why The Universe Is Not Giving You What You Want in Life

5 Reasons Why The Universe Is Not Giving You What You Want in Life

When my life was a mess I would blame the Universe. Over and over I would say, “Why me? What have I done to deserve this? It’s not fair. Why does this happen to me all the time?”

Then I read THE SECRET. The Secret introduced me to the Law of Attraction and I believed that this was how I could get the Universe to work for me rather than against me. I didn’t know much about the Law of Attraction.  I didn’t really understand how it worked or how it was connected to the Universe. I thought the Universe was a space where if I sent out positive thoughts I would get positive results.

Famous people such as Oprah Winfrey had endorsed the Secret and they shared their stories of how the Law of Attraction changed their lives for the better. The Secret success was unbelievable.

I remember at the time thinking that if the Secret works for all these famous and successful people, surely it would work for me? I followed the Secret’s 3-step formula, Ask, Believe and Receive, and waited for the Law of Attraction to start working in my life.

During the time of reading the Secret I lost my job. I was devastated and I felt I was a failure. I was miserable and gave up reading the Secret or thinking about the Law of Attraction. Its funny though, when you feel your life is at rock bottom and you come to a point where you have a choice – do I continue on with this downward spiral or do I try and figure a way out of this?

The easier option is to do nothing but I chose to try and figure a way out. I decided to put the Law of Attraction and the teachings of the Secret to the test. I set out to manifest my perfect job according to how I thought it should be done.

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I did get a job but I took the job for all the wrong reasons. I knew this job was not for me the moment I went into the interview. I did not listen to my intuition.  I had made a deal with the Universe to using the 3 step formula from the Secret to manifest this perfect job into my life. This was the first job offer so this must be the one and I took it.

Three months later I lost the job. I found myself again, feeling like a big failure, zero self-esteem, zero confidence and very little self-belief. Again I had to pull myself out of this deep dark hole and start over. It was at this point that I realized that teachings of the Secret were not for me.

The question I asked myself was; “How could I get the Universe to listen and work for me rather than against me?”

I discovered that there were 5 reasons why the Universe was not listening to me. Once I understood these 5 reasons I was finally able to get the Universe working alongside me.

1. I had no idea what the Laws of Universe were or how they worked

There are 12 Universal Law that govern the physical, emotional, environmental and spiritual elements of the universe.  Of the 12 Universal Laws there are four laws that influence me the most. When I understood how these four laws worked, my relationship with the Universe improved dramatically.

  1. The Law of Action – action must be employed in order for us to get what we want in life. We must engage actions that support our thoughts, dreams, emotions and words. No action no results
  1. The Law of Cause and Effect – nothing happens by chance or outside of the Laws of the Universe – every action (including thought) has a reaction or consequence. Even if you choose to do nothing you still have a consequence. Procrastinate and there is a consequence. You cannot escape the law of cause and effect.
  1. The Law of Attraction – this law demonstrates how we create the things, events and people that come into our lives. Our thoughts feelings and words and actions produce energies, which in turn attract like energies. Negative attracts negative and positive attracts positive.
  1. The Law of Perpetual Transmutation of Energy – the law states that every person has the power within them to change the conditions of their lives through using our power of choice. Our power of choice is pivotal in regard to how we want to live our lives. The power of choice enables us to change the energies in our lives.

My relationship with the Universe now operates on these four laws – action, consequence, positive energy and the power of choice. Start working with the universal laws that resonate with you. You will find overtime that the Universe will respond and start working with you to achieve all that you desire in your life..

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2. I did not know the difference between setting goals and achieving goals

I read an article by John Assaraf where he said that the reason why it is difficult to attract what you want in life is because we don’t understand the difference between setting a goal and achieving a goal. When you set a goal you are operating on an imaginative and rational level. When you work to achieve a goal you are operating on a habitual and emotional level. The energies are very different.

The desire for a goal is “energy in motion” and unless you keep this desire strong it will quickly disappear and lose its strength. This was happening to me all the time, especially when it came to losing weight and getting fit! I always found it a battle. I would start of with a hiss and a roar however over time it all became too hard and I would give up.

Once I understood how to work with the different energies that are the essential elements of setting and achieving goals I felt more confident about my abilities and myself. I also found that I began to have more positive experiences in my life and my relationship with the Universe improved. Over time I stopped bargaining with the Universe and became more open to receiving from the universe.

3. I Would Take Action Before Aligning My Mind Body and Soul

John Assaraf believes that the reason why some people never achieve positive results is because their conscious thoughts which are positive are not aligned to their unconscious beliefs, habits and values. If you are not aligned in your mind, body and soul although your conscious mind desires greatness your subconscious will block it.

“Your conscious mind is your chooser and your subconscious mind your implementer” John Assaraf

To attract the positive things in my life I needed to work on getting my conscious and subconscious mind in sync. Once I got this figured out I became much better at managing all the emotions and thoughts that are essential to me setting and achieving my goals.

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4. I spent a lot of time trying to feel good but not dealing with what made me feel bad

I thought long and hard about including this reason as it is a complicated one. Why I wanted to share this reason is because I believe we are conditioned to think that we have to be positive and upbeat all the time and if we are not we will never achieve our dreams, be a success or live the life we desire.

Events can happen in our lives that are traumatic and painful. It is times like these that it becomes very hard to be positive and upbeat about life especially when you feel so bad. There are also times in our life where we just feel sad, scared or frustrated. I was spending too much time focusing on having to be positive and feeling good that I was not dealing with my feelings of sadness, grief, pain and fear.

I do agree that maintaining a positive attitude and outlook about life is powerful and you do have more energy and happiness in life. However ignoring your feelings of pain or sadness only results in you burying these feelings deep within you. These feelings are real. They will not stay buried for long and at some point they will surface.

When I lost my third job in 18 months I realized that something was not quite aligned in my life. I needed to sort it because I wanted to have more control back into my life. I didn’t know why these terrible things kept happening to me. Why wasn’t the Universe helping me?

It’s a fine balance to manage and process these feelings and not get drawn into the vortex of negativity. My advice is that you spend time acknowledging your feelings but then move quickly to finding more positive things to focus on in your life.

I found that by dealing with my feelings of sadness, pain and grief I became more self aware and more resilient. As a result my thoughts and energies were more aligned and thus my relationship with the Universe became stronger.

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 5. I spent too much time pursuing happiness that I missed the joy of the present

“Success and happiness are always missed by those who leave the present unattended to.”   Edmond Mbiaka

The Universe for a long time was telling me over and over  to enjoy these moments of happiness I was having right now in my life. I was so busy chasing my happiness in the future that I wasn’t listening. I kept blaming the Universe for all the bad in my life and as a result my relationship with the Universe languished.

The saying “stop and smell the roses” is so true about living life in the present. It also reminds us to be more aware of the practice of gratitude and appreciation. If we were truly living in the present we would be practicing appreciation and gratitude on a daily basis.

I now have a gratitude journal where I try every day to write down 5 things that I am grateful for. It is amazing how uplifting you feel when you read your gratitude journal. A smile is not far away when you consistently appreciate and are grateful for the good things that are present right now in your life.

Hanging out with your best friends, going for a walk, sitting in silence, reading a good book, helping out a friend in need or even a stranger are just a small number of examples of how we can live happy lives in the present.

If you address these 5 reasons I guarantee your relationship with the universe will flourish. You will find that you will become more resilient to the challenges that life throws at you and the best thing is , you will be a lot happier.

“The universe doesn’t give you what you ask for with your thoughts – it gives you what you demand with your actions.”  Steve Maraboli

More by this author

Kathryn Sandford

Career Resilience Coach passionate about supporting others to grow and thrive in a complex world.

How to Help Yourself When You’re in a Mental Funk How to Deal With Negative Thoughts (the Healthy Way) I Don’t Know What to Do With My Life! 5 Steps to Get Unstuck 10 Things You Can Do Now to Change Your Life Forever What It Really Means to Seize the Day

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Last Updated on November 5, 2020

How to Get out of a Rut: 12 Useful Ways to Get Unstuck

How to Get out of a Rut: 12 Useful Ways to Get Unstuck

Have you gotten into a rut before? Or are you in a rut right now?

You know you’re in a rut when you run out of ideas and inspiration. A rut can manifest as a productivity vacuum and be a reason why you aren’t getting results. Even as you spend more time on your work, you can’t seem to get anything constructive done. Is it possible to learn how to get out of a rut?

Over time, I have tried and found several methods that are helpful to pull me out of a rut. If you experience ruts too, whether as a working professional, a writer, a blogger, or a student, you will find these useful. Here are 12 of my personal tips to get out of ruts:

1. Work on Small Tasks

When you are in a rut, tackle it by starting small. Clear away your smaller tasks that have been piling up. Reply to your emails, organize your documents, declutter your work space, and reply to private messages.

Whenever I finish doing that, I generate positive momentum, which I bring forward to my work.

If you have a large long-term goal you can’t wait to get started on, break it down into smaller objectives first. This will help each piece feel manageable and help you feel like you’re moving closer to your goal.

You can learn more about goals vs objectives here.

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2. Take a Break From Your Work Desk

When you want to learn how to get out of a rut, get yourself away from your desk and go take a walk. Go to the bathroom, walk around the office, or go out and get a snack. According to research, your productivity is best when you work for 50 minutes to an hour and then take a 15-20 minute break[1].

Your mind may be too bogged down and will need some airing. By walking away from your computer, you may create extra space for new ideas that were hiding behind high stress levels.

3. Upgrade Yourself

Take the down time to upgrade your knowledge and skills. Go to a seminar, read up on a subject of interest, or start learning a new language. Or any of the 42 ways here to improve yourself.

The modern computer uses different typefaces because Steve Jobs dropped in on a calligraphy class back in college[2]. How’s that for inspiration?

4. Talk to a Friend

Talk to someone and get your mind off work for a while. Relying on a support system is a great way to work on self-care when you’re learning how to get out of a rut.

Talk about anything, from casual chatting to a deep conversation about something you really care about. You will be surprised at how the short encounter can be rejuvenating in its own way.

5. Forget About Trying to Be Perfect

If you are in a rut, the last thing you want to do is step on your own toes with perfectionist tendencies. Perfectionism can lead you to fear failure, which can ultimate hinder you even more if you’re trying to find motivation to work on something new.

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If you allow your perfectionism to fade, soon, a little trickle of inspiration will come, and then it’ll build up with more trickles. Before you know it, you have a whole stream of ideas.

Learn more about How Not to Let Perfectionism Secretly Screw You Up.

6. Paint a Vision to Work Towards

If you are continuously getting in a rut with your work, maybe there’s no vision inspiring you to move forward.

Think about why you are doing this, and what you are doing it for. What is the ultimate goal or vision you have for your life?

Make it as vivid as possible. Make sure it’s a vision that inspires you and use that to trigger you to action. You can use the power of visualization or even create a vision board if you like to have something to physically remind you of your goals.

7. Read a Book (or Blog)

The things we read are like food for our brain. If you are out of ideas, it’s time to feed your brain with great material.

Here’s a list of 40 books you can start off with. You can also stock your browser with only the feeds of high quality blogs and follow writers who inspire and motivate you. Find something that interests you and start reading.

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8. Have a Quick Nap

If you are at home, take a quick nap for about 20-30 minutes. This clears up your mind and gives you a quick boost. Nothing quite like starting off on a fresh start after catching up on sleep[3].

Try a nap if you want to get out of a rut

    One Harvard study found that “whether they took long naps or short naps, participants showed significant improvement on three of the four tests in the study’s cognitive-assessment battery”[4].

    9. Remember Why You Are Doing This

    Sometimes we lose sight of why we do what we do, and after a while we become jaded. A quick refresher on why you even started on this project will help.

    What were you thinking when you thought of doing this? Retrace your thoughts back to that moment. Recall your inspiration, and perhaps even journal about it to make it feel more tangible.

    10. Find Some Competition

    When we are learning how to get out of a rut, there’s nothing quite like healthy competition to spur us forward. If you are out of ideas, then check up on what people are doing in your space.

    Colleagues at work, competitors in the industry, competitors’ products and websites, and networking conventions can all inspire you to get a move on. However, don’t let this throw you back into your perfectionist tendencies or low self-esteem.

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    11. Go Exercise

    Since you are not making headway at work, you might as well spend the time getting into shape and increasing dopamine levels. Sometimes we work so much that we neglect our health and fitness. Go jog, swim, cycle, or whatever type of exercise helps you start to feel better.

    As you improve your physical health, your mental health will improve, too. The different facets of ourselves are all interlinked.

    If you need ideas for a quick workout, check out the video below:

    12. Take a Few Vacation Days

    If you are stuck in a rut, it’s usually a sign that you have been working too long and too hard. It’s time to get a break.

    Beyond the quick tips above, arrange one or two days to take off from work. Don’t check your (work) emails or do anything work-related. Relax, do your favorite activities, and spend time with family members. You will return to your work recharged and ready to start.

    Contrary to popular belief, the world will not end from taking a break from your work. In fact, you will be much more ready to make an impact after proper rest.

    More Tips to Help You Get out of a Rut

    Featured photo credit: Ashkan Forouzani via unsplash.com

    Reference

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