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You Are Not the Only One Heartbroken

You Are Not the Only One Heartbroken

Hey!

Feeling heartbroken?

Feeling like a complete stranger to the world?

I know how it feels, but you are not the only one. We have all been there. To each one of us, the pain was as real and as excruciating as it is to you now.

And it doesn’t matter where you are from, whether you are a boy or a girl, in your twenties or your sixties, there is really nothing more painful than the feeling of a broken heart. The riot of emotions is immense and intolerable.

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    I have been there.

    I remember the times.I was twenty five and jubilant. I was dreaming of the rest of my life. It seemed to me that the next forty to fifty years of my life was going to be perfect. I was with the perfect person, in the perfect job – it was a beautiful picture.

    Then everything changed in one day. I can never forget that day. It is still so vivid. The pain was so real, so excruciating, so intense! I felt as if the slate was wiped clean all of a sudden, you know. The future was uncertain again. I did not know where to go and which way to look. I felt like I had lost a part of my soul.

    It seemed irrevocable. I ran to my closest friends. They tried, but the pain was just not going away; it was increasing every moment. Every song I heard seemed to be written about me. Every movie somehow reminded me of the amazing times I have had. It seemed that the accumulated wealth of my dreams had simply vaporized into thin air. And I did not know if I could ever build that dream again.

    More than losing the person from your life you get shattered to have lost those dreams, those imaginations. I am not a weak person. I am in command of an ocean liner and I am not allowed to be vulnerable. Being a mariner I have lived through some of the toughest situations imaginable. And not one of them even remotely came close to what I felt at that time. No one is immune.

    We often don’t realize how much we invest in a person or a feeling unless it leaves us. We take people for granted. At times, we tend to overlook the obvious signs that could tell us it’s not worth the investment. In short there is this blinding light covering the word “love”. If that shatters, it is a lost feeling.

    Whatever it is, it isn’t easy. People have gone crazy over this!! I know how you feel right now.

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      But regardless of how heartbroken you are, know this – even this has a silver lining.

      Life has a strange pattern to itself. Throw it away in a trash can, and more often than not, it will still get rearranged. Even when you do not believe in life, do not trust yourself, that little lump of muscle beating inside you always gives hope. You may not believe in it now, but, eventually you will know.

      This too, shall pass away. 

      Every pain, every sorrow and every grief comes with an expiry date.

      Years later, today, I stand tall, with a great job, a beautiful wife and a great life with very few regrets and no pain. Time eventually healed me. There were people in my life to thank for it too. But, just like an unwelcome guest, your pain goes away one day and it takes that feeling of being heartbroken along with it.

      It usually starts with a feeling where you feel stupid about a lot of things and either learn to eventually laugh at them or take some lessons out. It has been years now. My pain is long gone, but the memories stay.

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      The transformation of the heartbroken

      But there are a few very interesting things that happens at the end of that tunnel.

      When I look back, I thank God for taking away that part of my life to make way for something else, way better. Life as I said earlier, did fall in place. Had I not moved out and moved on, perhaps my future would not seem so great as it does now.

      No, you will not hold on to this pain forever. You will learn to come to terms and make peace with it. It’s really not even important whether you believe me when I say this, it will still happen regardless.

      Also, just like steel when forged, that excruciatingly painful experience you go through, changes a few things in you.

      1. You will never feel this much agony again. The pain of being heartbroken is like vaccination, it protects you from a second round of the same.
      2. You will understand people much more from today. Try not to get too skeptical though. Do not judge everyone by the same yardstick. I lost a few relationships from such mistakes.
      3. When you do find the person you love, you will never take him or her for granted.

      I thank the Lord every day, to be able to love someone so beautiful as my wife. I try to work on my relationships every day, to make them better. No, not because I am a great guy or something.I have learned to value what I have!!

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        How do you handle this day?

        It’s a difficult day today. No matter what I say or anyone else does, it isn’t going to ease that gut-wrenching anguish inside you. The feeling of being heartbroken will take some time to heal.

        Do not be worried about what will happen to you a year from now. You will be fine. Just plan how you will survive today. Handle life in bits and pieces. Try to stay with people you love, friends who really care and have been through this before.

        Cry if you want to, and as much as you want to. It’s okay to cry. Get busy, like really really busy!! Take every moment bit by bit. Only the next few days will be difficult.

        I repeat myself  – this too, shall pass away. And when it does, you will be a person reborn with the ability to turn back and look at life in its face.

        Featured photo credit: Free Images.com via freeimages.com

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        Last Updated on October 16, 2018

        The Ultimate Guide to Help You Sleep Through the Night Tonight

        The Ultimate Guide to Help You Sleep Through the Night Tonight

        It’s well past midnight and you’ve got to get up in less than six hours. You toss and turn all night. Before you know it, another hour passes by and you start panicking.

        If I don’t get to sleep in the next 30 minutes, I’m going to be exhausted tomorrow!”

        One thing is for sure, you’re not alone. Over 70M+ Americans have stated that they don’t get the proper sleep they need at night.[1] So what could possibly be causing this insomnia epidemic?

        Throughout my entrepreneurial journey of building my language learning company, I have experimented and researched dozens of best sleep practices. Some have flopped but a few have dramatically improved the quality of my life and work.

        In this article, I’ll look into the reason why you’re sleep deprived and how to sleep through the night tonight.

        Why you can’t sleep through the night

        The first step to improving anything is getting to the bottom of the root problem. Different studies have shown the reasons why most people cannot sleep well at night.[2] Here are the main ones that the average person faces:

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        Stress

        If you’ve ever stayed up at night worrying about something, know that it’s a major sleep inhibitor. When you’re feeling stress, your mind and body becomes more activated, making it incredibly difficult to fall asleep. Even when you do manage to sleep, it won’t be deep enough to help you feel rested the next day.

        Exposure to blue light before sleep time

        We’re exposed to harmful blue light on a daily basis through the use of our digital screens. If you’ve never heard of blue light, it’s part of the visible light spectrum that suppresses melatonin, our sleep hormones. Other harmful effects include digital eye strains and macular cellular damage.

        While daytime exposure to blue light is not very harmful, night time exposure tricks our brain into thinking it’s daytime. By keeping your brain alert and suppressing melatonin, your mind is unable to shut down and relax before bedtime.

        Eating close to bedtime

        Eating too late can actually be an issue for many people, especially those who are older than 40. The reason is, eating before laying down increases the chances of Gastroesophageal reflux disease (GERD), in which stomach acid backflows into the esophagus.

        Another reason not to eat too late is sleep quality. Even if you manage to sleep right after eating, it’s likely that you’ll wake up tired. Instead of letting your body rest during sleep, it has to digest the food that was entered before bedtime.

        Rule of thumb: eat 3-4 hours before bedtime.

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        Medical conditions

        In some cases, it could be medical conditions that cause your sleep problems. If you can’t relate yourself to the above reasons or any of these common sleep problem causes, you should visit the doctor.

        The vicious sleep cycle

        The biggest danger to repeating the bad habits mentioned above is the negative cycle that it can take you through. A bad night’s sleep can affect not only your energy but your willpower and decision making skills.

        Here’s an example of a bad sleep pattern:

        You get a bad night’s sleep
        –> You feel tired and stressful throughout the day.
        –> You compensate it with unhealthy habits (for example junk food, skipping exercises, watching Netflix etc.)
        –> You can’t sleep well (again) the next night.

          You can imagine what could happen if this cycle repeats over a longer period of time.

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          How to sleep better (throughout the night)

          To help you break the vicious cycle and stop waking up in the middle of the night, I’ll explain to you a list of actionable steps to solve your trouble staying asleep.

          1. Take control over the last 90 minutes of your night

          What you do (or don’t do) before bedtime have significant impact on the quality of your sleep. Many times, it can be the difference between staying up until 4am and sleeping like a baby.

          Here are a few suggestions:

          • Go from light to dark – Darkness stimulates production of the sleep hormone melatonin. Turn off unused light around the house, and think about investing into warm light that you can use in the bedroom before bedtime.
          • Avoid screens (or wear blue light blocking glasses) – Keep the bedroom a technology-free zone as the light from electronic devices can disturb your sleep. If you need to work, wear blue light blocking glasses (also known as computer glasses) throughout or before you sleep to prevent sleep disruption.
          • Find an activity that helps you to wind down  This could be anything that calms you down, and reduces thinking (especially unnecessary stress). Fir example, listening to soothing/good feel music, taking a hot bath, reading or meditating.
          • Keep any electronics you have on the other side of the room or outside the room – One of the most harmful things that can disrupt your sleep is the notifications you get from your smartphones. The simplest way to avoid this is to keep it away from you.
          • Create a bedtime routine – A night routine is a couple of things you do prior to going to bed. By doing these things every night, you’ll have a more restful and high-quality sleep. Learn how to pick up a night routine here: The Ultimate Night Routine Guide to Sleep Better and Wake Up Productive

          2. Eat the right nutrients (and avoid the wrong ones)

          What you eat (not just when we eat) plays a critical role in your sleep quality. If you’re ever in doubt of what to eat to improve your sleep, take the following into consideration:

          • Kiwi – This green fruit may be the ultimate pre-bed snack. When volunteers ate two kiwis an hour before hitting the hay, they slept almost a full extra hour. Kiwis are full of vitamins C and E, serotonin and folate—all of which may help you snooze.
          • Soy foods – Foods made with soy such as tofu, miso and edamame, are rich in isoflavones. These compounds increase the production of serotonin, a brain chemical that influences the body’s sleep-wake cycle.
          • Fiber-rich foods – Eating more fiber could be key for better sleep. Eating fiber was associated with more restorative slow-wave sleep—the more you eat, the better you sleep—per a study published in the Journal of Clinical Sleep Medicine. Fiber prevents blood sugar surges that may lower melatonin. Get a fiber boost from beans, artichokes, bran cereal and quinoa.
          • Salmon – Most fish, especially salmon, halibut and tuna boost vitamin B6, which is needed to make melatonin— a sleep-inducing hormone triggered by darkness.

          3. Adjust your sleep temperature

          Once you’ve gone through the first 2 recommendations, the last step to experiment with is temperature. According to Sleep.org, the ideal temperature for sleep is 60-67 Farenheit. This may be cooler than what most people are used to, but keep in mind that our body temperature changes once we fall asleep.

          Rule of thumb: sleeping in cooler temperature is better for sleep quality than warmer temperature.

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          Find out how to maintain the optimal temperature to sleep better here: How to Sleep Faster with the Best Temperature

          Sleep better form now on

          Congrats on making it to the end of this guide on sleep. If you’re serious about taking the necessary steps in improving your sleep, remember to take it one step at a time.

          I recommend trying just one of the steps mentioned such as taking a hot bath, blocking out blue light at night, or sleeping in cooler temperature. From there, see how it impacts your sleep quality and you can keep doing what works, and throw away what doesn’t.

          As long as you follow these steps cautiously and diligently, I know you’ll see improved results in your sleep!

          Featured photo credit: pixabay via pixabay.com

          Reference

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