Feeling like a complete stranger to the world?
I know how it feels, but you are not the only one. We have all been there. To each one of us, the pain was as real and as excruciating as it is to you now.
And it doesn’t matter where you are from, whether you are a boy or a girl, in your twenties or your sixties, there is really nothing more painful than the feeling of a broken heart. The riot of emotions is immense and intolerable.
I have been there.
I remember the times.I was twenty five and jubilant. I was dreaming of the rest of my life. It seemed to me that the next forty to fifty years of my life was going to be perfect. I was with the perfect person, in the perfect job – it was a beautiful picture.
Then everything changed in one day. I can never forget that day. It is still so vivid. The pain was so real, so excruciating, so intense! I felt as if the slate was wiped clean all of a sudden, you know. The future was uncertain again. I did not know where to go and which way to look. I felt like I had lost a part of my soul.
It seemed irrevocable. I ran to my closest friends. They tried, but the pain was just not going away; it was increasing every moment. Every song I heard seemed to be written about me. Every movie somehow reminded me of the amazing times I have had. It seemed that the accumulated wealth of my dreams had simply vaporized into thin air. And I did not know if I could ever build that dream again.
More than losing the person from your life you get shattered to have lost those dreams, those imaginations. I am not a weak person. I am in command of an ocean liner and I am not allowed to be vulnerable. Being a mariner I have lived through some of the toughest situations imaginable. And not one of them even remotely came close to what I felt at that time. No one is immune.
We often don’t realize how much we invest in a person or a feeling unless it leaves us. We take people for granted. At times, we tend to overlook the obvious signs that could tell us it’s not worth the investment. In short there is this blinding light covering the word “love”. If that shatters, it is a lost feeling.
Whatever it is, it isn’t easy. People have gone crazy over this!! I know how you feel right now.
But regardless of how heartbroken you are, know this – even this has a silver lining.
Life has a strange pattern to itself. Throw it away in a trash can, and more often than not, it will still get rearranged. Even when you do not believe in life, do not trust yourself, that little lump of muscle beating inside you always gives hope. You may not believe in it now, but, eventually you will know.
This too, shall pass away.
Every pain, every sorrow and every grief comes with an expiry date.
Years later, today, I stand tall, with a great job, a beautiful wife and a great life with very few regrets and no pain. Time eventually healed me. There were people in my life to thank for it too. But, just like an unwelcome guest, your pain goes away one day and it takes that feeling of being heartbroken along with it.
It usually starts with a feeling where you feel stupid about a lot of things and either learn to eventually laugh at them or take some lessons out. It has been years now. My pain is long gone, but the memories stay.
The transformation of the heartbroken
But there are a few very interesting things that happens at the end of that tunnel.
When I look back, I thank God for taking away that part of my life to make way for something else, way better. Life as I said earlier, did fall in place. Had I not moved out and moved on, perhaps my future would not seem so great as it does now.
No, you will not hold on to this pain forever. You will learn to come to terms and make peace with it. It’s really not even important whether you believe me when I say this, it will still happen regardless.
Also, just like steel when forged, that excruciatingly painful experience you go through, changes a few things in you.
- You will never feel this much agony again. The pain of being heartbroken is like vaccination, it protects you from a second round of the same.
- You will understand people much more from today. Try not to get too skeptical though. Do not judge everyone by the same yardstick. I lost a few relationships from such mistakes.
- When you do find the person you love, you will never take him or her for granted.
I thank the Lord every day, to be able to love someone so beautiful as my wife. I try to work on my relationships every day, to make them better. No, not because I am a great guy or something.I have learned to value what I have!!
How do you handle this day?
It’s a difficult day today. No matter what I say or anyone else does, it isn’t going to ease that gut-wrenching anguish inside you. The feeling of being heartbroken will take some time to heal.
Do not be worried about what will happen to you a year from now. You will be fine. Just plan how you will survive today. Handle life in bits and pieces. Try to stay with people you love, friends who really care and have been through this before.
Cry if you want to, and as much as you want to. It’s okay to cry. Get busy, like really really busy!! Take every moment bit by bit. Only the next few days will be difficult.
I repeat myself – this too, shall pass away. And when it does, you will be a person reborn with the ability to turn back and look at life in its face.
Featured photo credit: Free Images.com via freeimages.com