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You Are Not the Only One Heartbroken

You Are Not the Only One Heartbroken

Hey!

Feeling heartbroken?

Feeling like a complete stranger to the world?

I know how it feels, but you are not the only one. We have all been there. To each one of us, the pain was as real and as excruciating as it is to you now.

And it doesn’t matter where you are from, whether you are a boy or a girl, in your twenties or your sixties, there is really nothing more painful than the feeling of a broken heart. The riot of emotions is immense and intolerable.

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    I have been there.

    I remember the times.I was twenty five and jubilant. I was dreaming of the rest of my life. It seemed to me that the next forty to fifty years of my life was going to be perfect. I was with the perfect person, in the perfect job – it was a beautiful picture.

    Then everything changed in one day. I can never forget that day. It is still so vivid. The pain was so real, so excruciating, so intense! I felt as if the slate was wiped clean all of a sudden, you know. The future was uncertain again. I did not know where to go and which way to look. I felt like I had lost a part of my soul.

    It seemed irrevocable. I ran to my closest friends. They tried, but the pain was just not going away; it was increasing every moment. Every song I heard seemed to be written about me. Every movie somehow reminded me of the amazing times I have had. It seemed that the accumulated wealth of my dreams had simply vaporized into thin air. And I did not know if I could ever build that dream again.

    More than losing the person from your life you get shattered to have lost those dreams, those imaginations. I am not a weak person. I am in command of an ocean liner and I am not allowed to be vulnerable. Being a mariner I have lived through some of the toughest situations imaginable. And not one of them even remotely came close to what I felt at that time. No one is immune.

    We often don’t realize how much we invest in a person or a feeling unless it leaves us. We take people for granted. At times, we tend to overlook the obvious signs that could tell us it’s not worth the investment. In short there is this blinding light covering the word “love”. If that shatters, it is a lost feeling.

    Whatever it is, it isn’t easy. People have gone crazy over this!! I know how you feel right now.

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      But regardless of how heartbroken you are, know this – even this has a silver lining.

      Life has a strange pattern to itself. Throw it away in a trash can, and more often than not, it will still get rearranged. Even when you do not believe in life, do not trust yourself, that little lump of muscle beating inside you always gives hope. You may not believe in it now, but, eventually you will know.

      This too, shall pass away. 

      Every pain, every sorrow and every grief comes with an expiry date.

      Years later, today, I stand tall, with a great job, a beautiful wife and a great life with very few regrets and no pain. Time eventually healed me. There were people in my life to thank for it too. But, just like an unwelcome guest, your pain goes away one day and it takes that feeling of being heartbroken along with it.

      It usually starts with a feeling where you feel stupid about a lot of things and either learn to eventually laugh at them or take some lessons out. It has been years now. My pain is long gone, but the memories stay.

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      The transformation of the heartbroken

      But there are a few very interesting things that happens at the end of that tunnel.

      When I look back, I thank God for taking away that part of my life to make way for something else, way better. Life as I said earlier, did fall in place. Had I not moved out and moved on, perhaps my future would not seem so great as it does now.

      No, you will not hold on to this pain forever. You will learn to come to terms and make peace with it. It’s really not even important whether you believe me when I say this, it will still happen regardless.

      Also, just like steel when forged, that excruciatingly painful experience you go through, changes a few things in you.

      1. You will never feel this much agony again. The pain of being heartbroken is like vaccination, it protects you from a second round of the same.
      2. You will understand people much more from today. Try not to get too skeptical though. Do not judge everyone by the same yardstick. I lost a few relationships from such mistakes.
      3. When you do find the person you love, you will never take him or her for granted.

      I thank the Lord every day, to be able to love someone so beautiful as my wife. I try to work on my relationships every day, to make them better. No, not because I am a great guy or something.I have learned to value what I have!!

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        How do you handle this day?

        It’s a difficult day today. No matter what I say or anyone else does, it isn’t going to ease that gut-wrenching anguish inside you. The feeling of being heartbroken will take some time to heal.

        Do not be worried about what will happen to you a year from now. You will be fine. Just plan how you will survive today. Handle life in bits and pieces. Try to stay with people you love, friends who really care and have been through this before.

        Cry if you want to, and as much as you want to. It’s okay to cry. Get busy, like really really busy!! Take every moment bit by bit. Only the next few days will be difficult.

        I repeat myself  – this too, shall pass away. And when it does, you will be a person reborn with the ability to turn back and look at life in its face.

        Featured photo credit: Free Images.com via freeimages.com

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        Last Updated on December 2, 2019

        10 Powerful Ways to Stop Worrying and Start Living Today

        10 Powerful Ways to Stop Worrying and Start Living Today

        Plato knew that the body and mind are intimately linked. And in the late 1800s, the Mayo brothers, famous physicians, estimated that over half of all hospital beds are filled with people suffering from frustration, anxiety, worry and despair. Causes of worry are everywhere, in our relationships and our jobs, so it’s key we find ways to take charge of the stress.

        In his classic book How to Stop Worrying and Start Living, Dale Carnegie offers tools to ditch excessive worrying that help you make a worry-free environment for your private and professional life.

        These are the top 10 tips to grab worry by the horns and wrestle it to the ground:

        1. Make Your Decision and Never Look Back

        Have you ever made a decision in life only to second-guess it afterwards? Of course you have! It’s hard not to wonder whether you’ve done the right thing and whether there might still be time to take another path.

        But keep this in mind: you’ve already made your decision, so act decisively on it and dismiss all your anxiety about it.

        Don’t stop to hesitate, to reconsider, or to retrace your steps. Once you’ve chosen a course of action, stick to it and never waver.

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        2. Live for Today, Package Things up in “Day-Tight Compartments”

        You know that feeling: tossing, turning and worrying over something that happened or something that might, well into the wee hours. To avoid this pointless worrying, you need “day-tight compartments”. Much as a ship has different watertight compartments, your own “day-tight” ones are a way to limit your attention to the present day.

        The rule is simple: whatever happened in the past or might happen in the future must not intrude upon today. Everything else has to wait its turn for tomorrow’s box or stay stuck in the past.

        3. Embrace the Worst-Case Scenario and Strategize to Offset It

        If you’re worried about something, ask yourself: “What’s the worst thing that could happen?” Could you lose your job? Be jailed? Get killed?

        Whatever the “worst” might be, it’s probably not so world-ending. You could probably even bounce back from it!

        If, for example, you lose your job, you could always find another. Once you accept the worst-case scenario and get thinking about contingency plans, you’ll feel calmer.

        4. Put a Lid on Your Worrying

        Sometimes we stress endlessly about negative experiences when just walking away from them would serve us far better.

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        To make squashing that worry easier, try this strategy, straight from stock traders: it’s called the “stop-loss” order, where shares are bought at a certain price, and then their price development is observed. If things go badly and the share price hits a certain point, they are sold off immediately. This stops the loss from increasing further.

        In the same manner, you can put a stop-loss order on things that cause you stress and grief.

        5. Fake It ‘Til You Make It – Happiness, That Is

        We can’t directly influence how we feel, but we can nudge ourselves to change through how we think and act.

        If you’re feeling sad or low, slap a big grin on your face and whistle a chipper tune. You’ll find it impossible to be blue when acting cheerful. But you don’t necessarily need to act outwardly happy; you can simply think happier thoughts instead.

        Marcus Aurelius summed it up aptly:

        “Our life is what our thoughts make it.”

        6. Give for the Joy of Giving

        When we perform acts of kindness, we often do so with the expectation of gratitude. But harboring such expectations will probably leave you disappointed.

        One person well aware of this fact was the lawyer Samuel Leibowitz. Over the course of his career, Leibowitz saved 78 people from going to the electric chair. Guess how many thanked him? None.

        So stop expecting gratitude when you’re kind to someone. Instead, take joy from the act yourself.

        7. Dump Envy – Enjoy Being Uniquely You

        Your genes are completely unique. Even if someone had the same parents as you, the likelihood of someone identical to you being born is just one in 300,000 billion.

        Despite this amazing fact, many of us long to be someone else, thinking the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. But living your life this way is pointless. Embrace your uniqueness and get comfortable with who you really are: How to Be True to Yourself and Live the Life You Want

        8. Haters Will Hate — It Just Means You’re Doing It Right

        When you’re criticized, it often means you’re accomplishing something noteworthy. In fact, let’s take it a step further and consider this: the more you’re criticized, the more influential and important a person you likely are.

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        So the next time somebody talks you down, don’t let it get to you. Take it as a compliment!

        9. Chill Out! Learn to Rest Before You Get Tired

        Scientists agree that emotions are the most common cause of fatigue. And it works the other way around, too: fatigue produces more worries and negative emotions.

        It should be clear, therefore, that you’ve got to relax regularly before you feel tired. Otherwise, worries and fatigue will accumulate on top of each other.

        It’s impossible to worry when you are relaxed, and regular rest helps you maintain your ability to work effectively.

        10. Get Organized and Enjoy Your Work

        There are few greater sources of misery in life than having to work, day in, day out, in a job you despise. It would make sense then that you shouldn’t pick a job you hate, or even just dislike doing.

        But say you already have a job. How can you make it more enjoyable and worry-free? One way is to stay organized: a desk full of unanswered mails and memos is sure to breed worries.

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        Better yet, rethink about the job you’re doing: What to Do When You Hate Your Job but Want a Successful Career

        More About Living a Fulfilling Life

        Featured photo credit: Tyler Nix via unsplash.com

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