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You Are Not the Only One Heartbroken

You Are Not the Only One Heartbroken

Hey!

Feeling heartbroken?

Feeling like a complete stranger to the world?

I know how it feels, but you are not the only one. We have all been there. To each one of us, the pain was as real and as excruciating as it is to you now.

And it doesn’t matter where you are from, whether you are a boy or a girl, in your twenties or your sixties, there is really nothing more painful than the feeling of a broken heart. The riot of emotions is immense and intolerable.

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    I have been there.

    I remember the times.I was twenty five and jubilant. I was dreaming of the rest of my life. It seemed to me that the next forty to fifty years of my life was going to be perfect. I was with the perfect person, in the perfect job – it was a beautiful picture.

    Then everything changed in one day. I can never forget that day. It is still so vivid. The pain was so real, so excruciating, so intense! I felt as if the slate was wiped clean all of a sudden, you know. The future was uncertain again. I did not know where to go and which way to look. I felt like I had lost a part of my soul.

    It seemed irrevocable. I ran to my closest friends. They tried, but the pain was just not going away; it was increasing every moment. Every song I heard seemed to be written about me. Every movie somehow reminded me of the amazing times I have had. It seemed that the accumulated wealth of my dreams had simply vaporized into thin air. And I did not know if I could ever build that dream again.

    More than losing the person from your life you get shattered to have lost those dreams, those imaginations. I am not a weak person. I am in command of an ocean liner and I am not allowed to be vulnerable. Being a mariner I have lived through some of the toughest situations imaginable. And not one of them even remotely came close to what I felt at that time. No one is immune.

    We often don’t realize how much we invest in a person or a feeling unless it leaves us. We take people for granted. At times, we tend to overlook the obvious signs that could tell us it’s not worth the investment. In short there is this blinding light covering the word “love”. If that shatters, it is a lost feeling.

    Whatever it is, it isn’t easy. People have gone crazy over this!! I know how you feel right now.

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      But regardless of how heartbroken you are, know this – even this has a silver lining.

      Life has a strange pattern to itself. Throw it away in a trash can, and more often than not, it will still get rearranged. Even when you do not believe in life, do not trust yourself, that little lump of muscle beating inside you always gives hope. You may not believe in it now, but, eventually you will know.

      This too, shall pass away. 

      Every pain, every sorrow and every grief comes with an expiry date.

      Years later, today, I stand tall, with a great job, a beautiful wife and a great life with very few regrets and no pain. Time eventually healed me. There were people in my life to thank for it too. But, just like an unwelcome guest, your pain goes away one day and it takes that feeling of being heartbroken along with it.

      It usually starts with a feeling where you feel stupid about a lot of things and either learn to eventually laugh at them or take some lessons out. It has been years now. My pain is long gone, but the memories stay.

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      The transformation of the heartbroken

      But there are a few very interesting things that happens at the end of that tunnel.

      When I look back, I thank God for taking away that part of my life to make way for something else, way better. Life as I said earlier, did fall in place. Had I not moved out and moved on, perhaps my future would not seem so great as it does now.

      No, you will not hold on to this pain forever. You will learn to come to terms and make peace with it. It’s really not even important whether you believe me when I say this, it will still happen regardless.

      Also, just like steel when forged, that excruciatingly painful experience you go through, changes a few things in you.

      1. You will never feel this much agony again. The pain of being heartbroken is like vaccination, it protects you from a second round of the same.
      2. You will understand people much more from today. Try not to get too skeptical though. Do not judge everyone by the same yardstick. I lost a few relationships from such mistakes.
      3. When you do find the person you love, you will never take him or her for granted.

      I thank the Lord every day, to be able to love someone so beautiful as my wife. I try to work on my relationships every day, to make them better. No, not because I am a great guy or something.I have learned to value what I have!!

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        How do you handle this day?

        It’s a difficult day today. No matter what I say or anyone else does, it isn’t going to ease that gut-wrenching anguish inside you. The feeling of being heartbroken will take some time to heal.

        Do not be worried about what will happen to you a year from now. You will be fine. Just plan how you will survive today. Handle life in bits and pieces. Try to stay with people you love, friends who really care and have been through this before.

        Cry if you want to, and as much as you want to. It’s okay to cry. Get busy, like really really busy!! Take every moment bit by bit. Only the next few days will be difficult.

        I repeat myself  – this too, shall pass away. And when it does, you will be a person reborn with the ability to turn back and look at life in its face.

        Featured photo credit: Free Images.com via freeimages.com

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        Last Updated on June 2, 2020

        8 Reasons Why Goal Setting Is Important to a Fulfilling Life

        8 Reasons Why Goal Setting Is Important to a Fulfilling Life

        The importance of effective goal setting cannot be overstated on our personal journeys towards success. This is why there are countless articles out there on how to set your own SMART goals and even why it’s a skill commonly taught to a small degree in classrooms.

        Learning the importance of goal setting and the benefits of sticking to those goals can be the defining factor determining whether we truly embrace the importance of goal setting. The more willing we are to embrace this method, the more likely we become to reach our personal definitions of personal and professional success.

        Thus, today’s article is going to walk you through some of the benefits you’ll see from learning to set goals for yourself and answer the question, “why is goal setting important”.

        1. Goals Guide and Align Our Focus

        It’s hard to get to where you want to be in life if you don’t know what you’re aiming for. Some people believe avoiding goals means living a more care-free life. How many times have you heard the phrase “If I have no expectations, then I can’t be disappointed”?

        But is that really what our lives have come to? Living just to avoid disappointment? It doesn’t seem like an overly optimistic view in my opinion. And since you’re reading this article, I’m willing to bet that you agree with me.

        Without goals, we lack a degree of direction and focus. Sure you may be able to avoid disappointment, but just avoiding disappointment doesn’t mean you are necessarily happy.

        Without goals, we will pointlessly waste our time, energy, and efforts. Listen to anybody who is the top of their field and they’ll tell you something like this,

        “Yes talent is important, but often your success depends much more on what you decide to do with that talent.”

        And what you will do with your talent largely depends on your focus.

        Your goals give you direction. Your goals give you something to shoot for. This direction and target you create in your mind will help you to progress towards your main life goals rather than simply wander around aimlessly. These goals will help you align your actions and behaviors as you continue moving forward.

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        So, why is goal setting important? Because it gives you direction, alignment, and purpose!

        2. Goals Help You Avoid ‘Shiny Object Syndrome’

        Basically, shiny object syndrome is always being in pursuit of the next big thing, constantly switching your goals based on what you feel is most fun and interesting at the given moment, but never actually giving yourself time to accomplish any of those goals.

        You don’t get anywhere because you continually change the direction you are heading in. This is one of the consequences that may result if you decide to live a life without goals.

        Your goals can sometimes help you to create mental barriers, or blinders, that help you to remain focused on what you think is important and avoid the things that are second priority. When you outline goals for yourself, you are better able to avoid things that distract you from achieving and accomplishing those goals.

        Setting goals helps you to step around the other shiny objects because you’ve taken the time to make some mental notes that remind you what it is that you want from your life. Your goals act as subconscious deterrents to anything less than your main priorities. This is what helps you to reach your personal definition of success.

        So, why is goal setting important? Because not only do goals tell you what you want from life, but they also help you realize what you need to give up and avoid to achieve that.

        3. Goals Turn Our Largest Goals into Manageable Steps

        A lot of us have big hopes and dreams. It’s one of the things that make our lives exciting!

        But a lot of us never take the time to figure out how we can effectively get from point A to point B. So, sadly, we never fully achieve those goals. We look at our dreams and convince ourselves that only a select few people ever achieve them, so we write ourselves off as people not meant to reach that level of success. Looking at the end product of a goal can be intimidating, daunting, and discourage us from even pursuing them.

        Thankfully, goal setting helps us break large intimidating goals into smaller ones. These small steps and more achievable goals will help us to build momentum and will encourage us to keep working towards the next phase of our goal. The form the foundation from which we can begin building the life that we truly hope to have for ourselves, our families, and may even for our communities depending on how big your goals are!

        Whenever I get talking about this aspect of goal setting, I can’t help but think about the mountain climbing analogy, and that the easiest way to climb a mountain is simply step by step.

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        So, why is goal setting important? Goal setting gives you a list of manageable steps that you can take in order to take your life from where it is now to where you want it to go both effectively and efficiently.

        4. Goals Encourage You to Take Action

        This builds on the last benefit of goal setting. Not only does effective goal setting help you break down your larger goals into smaller, more manageable ones, but it also encourages you to actually begin taking action on those goals. After all, a plan is completely worthless if you aren’t willing to invest the effort required to execute it.

        Setting your goals and putting your plan in place motivates you to begin taking action towards achieving them. These goals give you something to plan and work towards. Essentially, they help propel you forward.

        What I like to do is write out and place my goals somewhere that I’ll regularly see them. This constantly serves as a reminder of my top priorities. It allows me to focus on taking small progressive actions towards achieving these goals daily.

        This ensures that I don’t fall into the trap of setting a goal, beginning to work towards it for a while, but then having my motivation fade resulting in me falling off track. This is exactly what many people see happen when it comes to their “New Year’s Resolutions.”

        If you want to learn about some of the golden rules for goal setting that will help you set and achieve your goals successfully check out this article: How to Use SMART Goal to Become Highly Successful in Life

        So, why is goal setting important? Because goal setting actually motivates you to stop thinking about your goals and actually get out there and achieve them!

        5. Goal Setting Helps You Continually Improve

        This is something that a lot of personal development and self-improvement writers talk about, continual improvement. For those of you who are not aware of the term, continual improvement is exactly what it sounds like — taking small steps towards improvement as frequently as you can to develop into the person you want to become.

        What’s the point in improving a little bit each day if you’re not improving in the areas that you want to improve in after all?

        The goals that you define for yourself will inevitably shape you into the person who you want to become. They’ll shape your character. Your goals can help you measure your progress as you strive for this type of development.

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        Essentially, having goals helps you determine where you started, where you are now, and how much further you need to go. In this manner, your goal setting can serve as milestones and benchmarks that help you determine how well you’re progressing towards your most important goals!

        So, why is goal setting important? Goal setting helps you make improvements each day that will slowly transition you into the person you want to become.

        6. Goal Setting Keeps You Accountable

        Not only does setting goals help you measure your progress, but it also is a means through which you can keep yourself accountable. Too many goals fail because they lack this crucial aspect of outlining accountability.

        For example, if I have the goal to do 50 push-ups, that’s great. Most people would support that goal. However, this goal lacks accountability. When do I want to accomplish this goal by and what steps do I take to get there? These are important questions that the original goal leaves unanswered.

        A much more descriptive and specific goal could be to do 50 push-ups within the next 3 months by starting at 5 push-ups, and then adding 5 each week. This goal outlines the deadline as well as the steps I’m going to take to achieve it. This plan will keep me accountable because if I fail to retain my progression schedule, I will know that I’m not going to achieve the goal on time.

        Additionally, it can serve as a marker helping to signify when something is impeding my progress that I may not have initially accounted for. This tells me that I need to re-evaluate what I’m doing and figure out what adjustments I can make to facilitate my success.

        So, why is goal setting important? Setting goals is key to keeping ourselves accountable and on-track towards accomplishing our goals according to the schedules and deadlines we set for ourselves.

        7. Goals Make You Feel Good

        Trust me, the progress you feel as you set and achieve goals can become super motivating and super addicting (in a good way)! The dopamine release you get from achieving your goals is like a little reward for our brains that continually motivates us to try and hit that next goal!

        Having some clearly defined goals will help you to feel better about yourself and your life in general, especially when you stick to those goals, actively work towards achieving them, and end up accomplishing and surpassing your initial expectations. I’m not the oldest book on the shelf myself, but I can attest that there are not many feelings quite like the one you experience when you truly get on a roll!

        Additionally, our goals give us an endpoint to shoot for. Rather than progress for progress’s sake, you can actually see where you’re heading! That’s so much more rewarding. Think about a long car trip as a kid. You ask “if you’re there yet?” ever 20 minutes. It seems like the drive drags on forever.

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        If you don’t know where you’re going, you risk the journey becoming tedious. It doesn’t tend to be much fun wandering around aimlessly. Goals make us feel good about where we’re directing ourselves.

        So, why is goal setting important? Because setting goals and accomplishing them plain and simply make us feel better about ourselves and our lives!

        8. Goals Help You Live Your Best Life

        I’ve talked a lot in this article about how goal setting helps us progress towards our top priorities and live the way we truly want to live. So I think it’s fit to end the article with this goal because, in the end, I feel it’s the most important one.

        Setting your goals and clearly defining what they mean to you will help you live a life that is tailored to your beliefs and values. Your life will become directed towards the things that you most want to achieve.

        Life is a tricky game and only in very rare circumstances are things handed to us on a silver platter. Often it takes a great degree of work, planning, and effortful execution of both.

        There is no point clinging on to things in your life if they don’t bring you happiness or help you accomplish something that, in some way, aligns with your goals.

        Simply put, setting goals helps us live a life that allows us to pursue the challenges and rewards that we truly want to achieve.

        So, why is goal setting important? Because our time is always limited, and setting clearly defined goals can help ensure that you make the most of your life and live to the fullest!

        Final Thoughts

        These are just a few of the benefits of goal setting that outline why it truly is so important. If you take a moment or two, I bet that you can even think of a few more benefits yourself that you could add to this list.

        If I could leave you with something, it would be this:

        Goal setting has the potential to take us to some amazing places in life because we all have talent and ambitions. To achieve your biggest dreams, you need to be willing to sit down and create a life design uniquely tailored to you that will help you achieve them!

        More Tips About Goals Setting

        Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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