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Sometimes You Have To Let Go Even If You Still Love The Person

Sometimes You Have To Let Go Even If You Still Love The Person

The process of letting go of someone you love is one of life’s most painful experiences. When you have invested a considerable amount of time and emotional energy in someone, the prospect of living without them may be unthinkable. You may look back on the memories you shared, the plans you made, and feel nothing but psychic agony. If you are newly broken up, envisaging a new future may feel close to impossible. You may find yourself ruminating on what you could have done differently, the arguments you may have had, and the things you regret saying.

Every relationship is unique, and there are many reasons why cutting ties may be the kindest solution for all parties. Maybe you discovered as time went on that your values and dreams did not align. At first you may have hoped that you could overcome your differences, but in the end they drove you apart. Sometimes, love just isn’t enough and you come to the sad conclusion that it’s time to part ways. Perhaps you love one another and even revel in your differences, but seem unable to communicate or resolve conflict. Maybe you had to end the relationship for another reason entirely. Whatever the trigger, the emotional fallout will be considerable. This is completely normal. Be kind to yourself, and expect a period of emotional turbulence.

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What are you really releasing when you let go?

Letting go of a person involves letting go of hope. We may have believed this person to be our soulmate, or at least someone upon whom we could rely to stick around for a long time. It can be tremendously difficult to face the stark reality that we need to carve out a new path for ourselves, and allow the other person to do the same. You may be feeling lonely, even when surrounded by friends and family who want to comfort you. If you can, allow yourself to be nourished by their support.

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Taking the momentous decision to let go of someone you love is a brave step. In doing so, you are proving to yourself that you are capable of creating your own happiness, and that you do not need to rely on someone else to make you feel as though life is worth living. In evaluating your relationship, deciding that you would be best off apart and then letting them go, you are demonstrating that you have faith in the universe. When you summon the courage to move on from a relationship that isn’t working, you are affirming that you are worthy of the best life has to offer, and that you are confident that with time you can move on to a more constructive relationship.

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Why letting go can herald a beautiful new beginning

Letting go of harmful relationships allows you to move forwards a brighter future. Remember the old saying, “If you love someone, let them go?” If you look deep within yourself, you will realize that in freeing yourself and the other person from a relationship that is holding you both back, you are helping two people to create a happier, more authentic life. In this way, letting go of someone you love can be an act of supreme care and kindness. Every relationship can teach us something, and occasionally the whole purpose of a relationship may come only when it ends. Although it may feel as though your world is ending when you break up with someone you love, over time you will realize that you are merely embarking on a new beginning. Let the lessons you have learned from your interactions with this person serve to guide you in forming healthier relationships in the future, and rest assured that you can and will find love again. See this painful period as a step closer to getting what you really need and want from life.

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More by this author

Jay Hill

Freelance Writer

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Last Updated on August 16, 2018

10 Ways To Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone And Enjoy Taking Risks

10 Ways To Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone And Enjoy Taking Risks

The ability to take risks by stepping outside your comfort zone is the primary way by which we grow. But we are often afraid to take that first step.

In truth, comfort zones are not really about comfort, they are about fear. Break the chains of fear to get outside. Once you do, you will learn to enjoy the process of taking risks and growing in the process.

Here are 10 ways to help you step out of your comfort zone and get closer to success:

1. Become aware of what’s outside of your comfort zone

What are the things that you believe are worth doing but are afraid of doing yourself because of the potential for disappointment or failure?

Draw a circle and write those things down outside the circle. This process will not only allow you to clearly identify your discomforts, but your comforts. Write identified comforts inside the circle.

2. Become clear about what you are aiming to overcome

Take the list of discomforts and go deeper. Remember, the primary emotion you are trying to overcome is fear.

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How does this fear apply uniquely to each situation? Be very specific.

Are you afraid of walking up to people and introducing yourself in social situations? Why? Is it because you are insecure about the sound of your voice? Are you insecure about your looks?

Or, are you afraid of being ignored?

3. Get comfortable with discomfort

One way to get outside of your comfort zone is to literally expand it. Make it a goal to avoid running away from discomfort.

Let’s stay with the theme of meeting people in social settings. If you start feeling a little panicked when talking to someone you’ve just met, try to stay with it a little longer than you normally would before retreating to comfort. If you stay long enough and practice often enough, it will start to become less uncomfortable.

4. See failure as a teacher

Many of us are so afraid of failure that we would rather do nothing than take a shot at our dreams.

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Begin to treat failure as a teacher. What did you learn from the experience? How can you take that lesson to your next adventure to increase your chance of success?

Many highly successful people failed plenty of times before they succeeded. Here’re some examples:

10 Famous Failures to Success Stories That Will Inspire You to Carry On

5. Take baby steps

Don’t try to jump outside your comfort zone, you will likely become overwhelmed and jump right back in.

Take small steps toward the fear you are trying to overcome. If you want to do public speaking, start by taking every opportunity to speak to small groups of people. You can even practice with family and friends.

Take a look at this article on how you can start taking baby steps:

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The Number One Secret to Life Success: Baby Steps

6. Hang out with risk takers

There is no substitute for this step. If you want to become better at something, you must start hanging out with the people who are doing what you want to do and start emulating them. (Here’re 8 Reasons Why Risk Takers Are More Likely To Be Successful).

Almost inevitably, their influence will start have an effect on your behavior.

7. Be honest with yourself when you are trying to make excuses

Don’t say “Oh, I just don’t have the time for this right now.” Instead, be honest and say “I am afraid to do this.”

Don’t make excuses, just be honest. You will be in a better place to confront what is truly bothering you and increase your chance of moving forward.

8. Identify how stepping out will benefit you

What will the ability to engage in public speaking do for your personal and professional growth? Keep these potential benefits in mind as motivations to push through fear.

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9. Don’t take yourself too seriously

Learn to laugh at yourself when you make mistakes. Risk taking will inevitably involve failure and setbacks that will sometimes make you look foolish to others. Be happy to roll with the punches when others poke fun.

If you aren’t convinced yet, check out these 6 Reasons Not to Take Life So Seriously.

10. Focus on the fun

Enjoy the process of stepping outside your safe boundaries. Enjoy the fun of discovering things about yourself that you may not have been aware of previously.

Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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