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The 5 Life Lessons We Should Never Forget Again

The 5 Life Lessons We Should Never Forget Again

“Life is what you make it”. “You learn from your mistakes”. How often do we hear those throwaway expressions? Usually at-least three or four times a day. Yet do we really understand them? And do we humans really learn from our mistakes?

Sadly not, usually we go on making the same mistake time after time, because the road leading to the problem looks different from the last one. Still the problem remains the same.

Here we look a some those of life lessons we keep forgetting that can help us get away from the mistakes that block us from getting on with our lives:

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1. Life is short.

Wait. We forget that? Yes, yes we do. Most of us keep waiting for “life to begin” forgetting that while we wait life goes on and we get older. It is best to realise that while waiting for what we want we do other things that make us happy. If you dream of writing a book, start with writing short stories online. If you dream of becoming a singer, start with a pub or talent night. It’s no use only waiting as nobody knows you yet and your talent are sitting at home wasting away.

Life is short: if you want to do something, do it while you can.

2. Life is what you make it

Oh, there it is again. That old cliché. Well, it is a cliché for a reason: it’s true. Nobody can live your life for you. It is you and you alone who ignites the flame. Others can help and you can build a team. But someone has to start whatever it is you want. If you want to be happy: chose to be. If you feel stuck look inside for what it is that blocks you. Even in the darkest hour there is always something that can bring light.

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3. Be kind to yourself

A lot of people claim you should “love yourself”, as if it’s that easy. But I have found that a lot of people feel troubled by that notion. Some go as far as saying “there is nothing to love about me”. Of course there always is something to love in every one, but you have to find it first.

Start with being kind to yourself. Allow yourself to feel proud of big or small accomplishments. Compliment yourself if you think you look okay on certain days. Allow yourself a treat once in a while: new clothes, a piece of chocolate, anything.

My motto: if you can’t love yourself, at-least be kind. Kindness can lead to love.

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4. Appreciate Me-time and quality-time with others

These days we all rush through our days without seeing, feeling or even thinking. We stare at a computer at work and go home to stare at a different screen. We miss out on friends, family and even ourselves. This is a shame and a major source for depression.

We all should schedule some time in our days, at least three hours for family and ourselves. Time to talk, have fun and think. Time away from the screen is important as a lot of our lives might be online now, but those we are closest to are right next to us.

5. Get out there

If you feel unhappy in any place or situation. If you are unhappy with certain people in your life: leave or let them go. Holding on to anything or anybody despite it making you feel bad never did anyone any good. You can waste years of your life trying to help, doing the right thing or fearing change or being alone. Don’t, in the end it just leaves you with nothing and you will have to start over again.

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Live life for you and try to be as happy as you can possible be, even if that means making changes.

Featured photo credit: http://getrefe.tumblr.com/ via 65.media.tumblr.com

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Dannii Cohen

PsyD in Psychology, professional counsellor, life coach and self-help expert

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Last Updated on February 15, 2019

Why Is Goal Setting Important to a Truly Fulfilling Life?

Why Is Goal Setting Important to a Truly Fulfilling Life?

In Personal Development-speak, we are always talking about goals, outcomes, success, desires and dreams. In other words, all the stuff we want to do, achieve and create in our world.

And while it’s important for us to know what we want to achieve (our goal), it’s also important for us to understand why we want to achieve it; the reason behind the goal or some would say, our real goal.

Why is goal setting important?

1. Your needs and desire will be fulfilled.

Sometimes when we explore our “why”, (why we want to achieve a certain thing) we realize that our “what” (our goal) might not actually deliver us the thing (feeling, emotion, internal state) we’re really seeking.

For example, the person who has a goal to lose weight in the belief that weight loss will bring them happiness, security, fulfillment, attention, popularity and the partner of their dreams. In this instance, their “what” is weight-loss and their “why” is happiness (etc.) and a partner.

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Six months later, they have lost the weight (achieved their goal) but as is often the case, they’re not happier, not more secure, not more confident, not more fulfilled and in keeping with their miserable state, they have failed to attract their dream partner.

After all, who wants to be with someone who’s miserable? They achieved their practical goal but still failed to have their needs met.

So they set a goal to lose another ten pounds. And then another. And maybe just ten more. With the destructive and erroneous belief that if they can get thin enough, they’ll find their own personal nirvana. And we all know how that story ends.

2. You’ll find out what truly motivates you

The important thing in the process of constructing our best life is not necessarily what goals we set (what we think we want) but what motivates us towards those goals (what we really want).

The sooner we begin to explore, identify and understand what motivates us towards certain achievements, acquisitions or outcomes (that is, we begin moving towards greater consciousness and self awareness), the sooner we will make better decisions for our life, set more intelligent (and dare I say, enlightened) goals and experience more fulfilment and less frustration.

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We all know people who have achieved what they set out to, only to end up in the same place or worse (emotionally, psychologically, sociologically) because what they were chasing wasn’t really what they were needing.

What we think we want will rarely provide us with what we actually need.

3. Your state of mind will be a lot healthier

We all set specific goals to achieve/acquire certain things (a job, a car, a partner, a better body, a bank balance, a title, a victory) because at some level, most of us believe (consciously or not) that the achievement of those goals will bring us what we really seek; joy, fulfilment, happiness, safety, peace, recognition, love, acceptance, respect, connection.

Of course, setting practical, material and financial goals is an intelligent thing to do considering the world we live in and how that world works.

But setting goals with an expectation that the achievement of certain things in our external, physical world will automatically create an internal state of peace, contentment, joy and total happiness is an unhealthy and unrealistic mindset to inhabit.

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What you truly want and need

Sometimes we need to look beyond the obvious (superficial) goals to discover and secure what we really want.

Sadly, we live in a collective mindset which teaches that the prettiest and the wealthiest are the most successful.

Some self-help frauds even teach this message. If you’re rich or pretty, you’re happy. If you’re both, you’re very happy. Pretty isn’t what we really want; it’s what we believe pretty will bring us. Same goes with money.

When we cut through the hype, the jargon and the self-help mumbo jumbo, we all have the same basic goals, desires and needs:

Joy, fulfilment, happiness, safety, peace, recognition, love, acceptance, respect, connection.

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Nobody needs a mansion or a sport’s car but we all need love.

Nobody needs massive pecs, six percent body-fat, a face lift or bigger breasts but we all need connection, acceptance and understanding.

Nobody needs to be famous but we all need peace, calm, balance and happiness.

The problem is, we live in a culture which teaches that one equals the other. If only we lived in a culture which taught that real success is far more about what’s happening in our internal environment, than our external one.

It’s a commonly-held belief that we’re all very different and we all have different goals — whether short term or long term goals. But in many ways we’re not, and we don’t; we all want essentially the same things.

Now all you have to do is see past the fraud and deception and find the right path.

Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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